https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 11 May 2026 04:25:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695112 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:34:48 +0000 Cherrybee 695112@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Hahaha! Now that is an image!! Yes, I'd like to see how my DH would like it if he was spilling out of a DD! Above or below the waist!! Strangely, my changing body hasn't caused me much concern, despite the fact that my belly looks like a road map! For me the major shock has been how vulnerable I feel - I'm struggling to come to terms with my new, limited physical capabilities. Oh and the hormones - ack the hormones!! They're crazy!!!! I'm crazy!! Last week I could have murdered my MIL for suggesting she will even get to hold my baby, this week I'm over it! One minute I'm crying, next minute I'm on top of the world. You never know, if your hormones are anything like mine, next week you will be telling your DH you're not an invalid and to stop babying you!!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695069 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:13:11 +0000 deerylou 695069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cherrybee: It would be nice to have the pampered, pregnant experience, actually! I might just be acting a little irrationally because of hormones, but I would so enjoy being placed on a pedestal every now and again.</p> <p>DH is already so good to me, but I really just don't think he understands how much my body has been changing. I mean, I even get emotional on occasion about my nipples growing, and he's like, "No biggie, right?" Arg - sometimes I wonder if he'd feel the same if his testicles starting expanding, and leaking. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695056 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 17:04:48 +0000 Cherrybee 695056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: Hmm, perhaps a big belly will make a bit of difference. I'm only 23 weeks but I'm huge and he has been a little better recently - well I say that, his actual question today was "are you sure you can fit through the loft hatch?" which isn't quite what I'm after but it's a start!!! I keep saying that I've been robbed of my rightful pregnant lady experience..... that is, being pampered, fussed over and brought treats in the middle of the night (whatever my heart desires). Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695033 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:53:16 +0000 deerylou 695033@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@katew92081: Perhaps I'll show him a similar diagram....men are visual creatures, after all. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695028 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:51:24 +0000 Dandelion 695028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: @deerylou: re: bathroom cleaning: My DH's solution of helping me with cleaning the bathroom and the litter box is asking his mom to come over and do it. She's thrilled to be asked, so she does it. lol </p> <p>@deerylou: You just gotta tell him what you want. Guys aren't mind readers, and they don't even try to guess. It's easier on them if you just ask them to rub your shoulders and stuff. They don't really understand pregnancy. After I showed my DH a diagram of how my inside organs were all being squished up into my ribs, he then started to understand why I was so uncomfortable, lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695027 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:50:06 +0000 deerylou 695027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cherrybee: that's exactly it! I definitely feel like I communicate my needs and wants, but it would be nice to be noticed beforehand. When I've had enough, or am feeling especially sore, crampy, or ill, I will let DH know, and he will respond accordingly to keep me safe and comfortable.</p> <p>However, it would be such a treat if he independently recognized that I'm not able to keep up like I used to. For example, if I've had an especially long day (last week, I worked until 3:30, and then had an educational workshop from 4:30-8:00 - not horrific, but hard for a pregnant gal), it would be nice if he just went out of his way to make things easier for me without needing a reminder. </p> <p>I definitely have a recognizable bump (27 weeks), but I'm not globe status yet. I'm wondering if I just need to be huge and waddling in order for him to see that I'm not in the same condition as I was pre-pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695020 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:47:54 +0000 Bao 695020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Welcome! I think some guys just don't understand, and pregnancy/babies are a big change for everyone involved so they don't know how to act. I think if you talk to him about it, maybe he would understand more? I've been there for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-695015 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 16:41:53 +0000 Cherrybee 695015@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I understand exactly how you feel - the line "pamper me dammit" rings very true for me!!!! </p> <p>My hubby is brilliant, he does loads of housework, cooking etc. But he totally doesn't buy into the "pregnant women should be careful" thing. He works for a chemical company, specifically in the paint division, so he has strong views about what is an isn't safe - and put it this way, he insists it's all safe! Bleach, paint, you name it and I wouldn't get away with avoiding it. We decorated the nursery together (and that included me up at ladder belt sanding the ceiling at 22 wks pregnant). Just today, I cleaned the house from top to bottom then went up a ladder into the loft while DH lifted things up to me to store - and my back is killing me now!! </p> <p>Now don't get me wrong, he does more than his fair share and I'm assertive enough to say "I'm getting tired, I can't do any more" when I feel like I've overdone it. But it would be so, so nice if he saw me lifting something or hoovering the stairs and said "stop, let me do it, you shouldn't push yourself too hard". </p> <p>I can dream! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694795 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:07:18 +0000 deerylou 694795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks for the welcome, ladies. </p> <p>It's silly, because sometimes, it's not even about things I absolutely need. There are times when I just want him to put down his tablet and give me a spontaneous backrub, because I'd like some relief from the aches and pains. I definitely have told him that I need him to be more helpful around the house - I'm the OCD neat freak in our home, and I usually act on any mess or mishap, immediately. He's slooooowly starting to become more tidy.</p> <p>I definitely want to smooth things over in this department, stat. Even though he's going to be a wonderful father, I anticipate it only getting more complicated when there's a baby in the house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694789 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:06:33 +0000 Foodnerd81 694789@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: Sometimes I feel like it would take a scare like preterm labor for him to realize, but then I remember that I really don't want that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694781 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:05:21 +0000 Foodnerd81 694781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know what you mean. I'm about a month behind you, so I haven't actually reached some of those uncomfortable milestones, but I think DH doesn't quite realize how much harder certain things are for me. We moved recently and while I did no heavy lifting, just bending for light things really wore me out way more than he seemed to appreciate. I felt bad not doing more, so really, it would have been nice to hear, no, sit down and rest and I'll do this, you have to take care of yourself. I felt like I was being a big baby, but really, I had to take it easy, I could feel it when I didn't. </p> <p>So, after my complain fest, yeah, I hear you. Sounds like explaining how much harder certain things are right now might help. I laughed a little at the bleach thing-- we just got rid of our monthly cleaning lady, and I was looking for organic bathroom cleaning stuff but DH kept saying we have plenty of Scrubby Bubbles. I reminded him for the millionth time that I won't use that right now so he volunteered to take on cleaning the bathrooms... we'll see. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694777 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:04:45 +0000 littlek 694777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think men really get pregnancy. DH is a good guy, but he acted like I could do everything I used to once I was pregnant. I don't think until I went into pre term labor did he really get what pregnancy was. I think if something is bothering you about your DH's behavior, you need to talk to him about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694769 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 15:03:02 +0000 heartonastring 694769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ask for what you need! Our husbands are not mind readers (sadly) nor are they trying to be unhelpful. </p> <p>This is something I've been working hard on for the last couple months, as I want to be more comfortable with it once the baby arrives. DH has been super receptive and is very open about the fact that when he doesn't help it's not because he doesn't want to...it's just because he either doesn't know what to do, or it looks like I have it all under control (which isn't always the case!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694755 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:58:26 +0000 immabeetoo 694755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ditto to what cotton candy said, start being open and direct now!! I know exactly what you mean and it gets worse when the baby is here and you're just as exhausted and more frazzled. My DH tries to be helpful but I have become aware that if I let my irritation fester its worse for both of us. And sometimes he surprises me now and will clean the kitchen or something similar while I'm nursing the baby before bed! </p> <p>Welcome an congrats :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694748 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:55:01 +0000 CottonCandy 694748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you are feeling like this! I hate to say it, but I really think you should talk to him about this because I can tell you for sure..Once the baby comes and life is crazy with a newborn, add lack of sleep and things will seem 10x worse! Nip it in the bud now, so its not an issue later down the road. Just be honest and tell him it would be really nice for him to be a little kinder and put himself in your shoes for a minute. Hope this helps :) and congrats on starting your family! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/trying-not-to-resent-dh#post-694742 Fri, 05 Apr 2013 14:50:44 +0000 deerylou 694742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>After lurking for most of my pregnancy, I have finally registered! I'm currently about 27 weeks pregnant with my first child; a little girl. While a complete surprise, DH and I are both utterly thrilled to be starting our family.</p> <p>Outside of a rough first trimester, my pregnancy has been relatively mellow, and uneventful. Of course, as is the case with most expecting mothers, I'm sore, exhausted, and have been experiencing the lovely adventures of all-day heartburn, general discomfort, and your average mood swings.</p> <p>Don't get me wrong - my husband is magnificent - loving, kind, and compassionate. He's involved, excited, and proud of impending fatherhood. However, there are times when I just resent the hell out of the poor guy. For example, at 3am, when I'm tossing and turning because I can't find a comfortable position, and LO is having a disco dance off on my spine, he'll mutter for me to stop moving, so he can get some rest (we both work, so it's not like I'm sleeping in the next day). Since I am not using bleach products, I'll nag him for *days* to clean the bathtub, and he'll often act like I'm asking him for a limb. Get me a glass of juice so I don't have to heave myself from the couch? Sure he will, but not without an irritating sigh.</p> <p>I am trying to tell myself that it is impossible for men to experience the ups and downs of pregnancy/labor. I remind myself that I just need to prepare for always doing just a bit more, since I'm female, and have the body parts for the job. </p> <p>However, there are times when I look at him, with an evil eye, and just want to scream, "Pamper me, damnit!" Anyone else have similar feelings? Did you say or do anything that gave your partner more adequate perspective? I love this guy to bits, but sometimes, man....sometimes. </p>