https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 18 Apr 2026 05:11:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2692315 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 12:21:23 +0000 MaryM 2692315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you're worried about daycare financially, start "paying" for it now. </p> <p>Once DH and I figured out who much it cost in our area, we started setting aside that much money into a savings account each week so we could save up and also get used to not having that money in our budget. And then we figure, when we do have a baby, we'll have some savings to help with unexpected finances so we won't feel as strapped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2692275 Mon, 06 Feb 2017 11:17:09 +0000 LittleBook 2692275@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@youboots: Good point! I don't believe we live in a competitive area, so we do have a lot of time!<br /> @madisonbee: I think you described it perfectly! I know we are going to be great parents and "make it work" any way we can.<br /> @Coral: Agreed! Best of luck this spring!<br /> @agold: He is definitely a keeper :wink:<br /> @ElbieKay: I definitely agree with what you said. In my dream world, there is a perfect time where not even a ping of worry will enter my mind when we have a baby.. but I know that is not realistic. I also know that when it does happen we will be over the moon excited :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691716 Sat, 04 Feb 2017 12:06:46 +0000 ElbieKay 2691716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't read all the replies, but I will say that I was very anxious when I got pregnant. I was worried about the huge adjustment I would have to go through. But I didn't decide to have a baby because of any of that. Simply put, I was confident that I would regret not having a child later. I knew it would always be a hard adjustment, and there is never a convenient time to do it. So my present self ripped off the bandaid for my future self. The rest of the timing is just, well, details. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691545 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 17:50:49 +0000 agold 2691545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt your same anxiety. So it took me years to figure out a good time to have a baby. We made sure we were in the right jobs and such to accommodate the type of family life we wanted to have. I only believe that the whole "never a right time to have a baby" is only partially true.</p> <p>ETA: Your husband sounds like a gem! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691544 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 17:46:50 +0000 Coral 2691544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleBook: I don't think there is so much as the "perfect" time but a "better" time. You figure out what works because you have to. We had a "scare" while I was still working on my master's but now I am looking forward to TTC #2 (sort of) this spring. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691535 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 17:27:23 +0000 Mrs. Oreo 2691535@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm still scared and unsure if we're able to manage the expenses, but the desire to have a baby outweighs it more. I'm surrounded by lots of people who have managed to raise wonderful children in less than ideal circumstances, so I don't think you're ever really ready. You just do what you can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691522 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 16:27:18 +0000 youboots 2691522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You have 9 months to figure out everything after you get pregnant- hopefully you have some leave time so your kid won't be going to daycare for 16 (give or take) months arguably. Unless you live in a highly competitive daycare city- you have lots of time to plan.</p> <p>FWIW I never thought I'd be a FT stay at home Mom and that's how it worked out for a year. It was not a good fit for me so I'm back working for myself PT this year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691321 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 11:44:27 +0000 LittleBook 2691321@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: I think I'm going to try to get into that mindset and prepare for not being able to prepare! :wink:<br /> @looch: Very true! </p> <p>Thank you everyone! I was feeling very worried this morning when I posted this. I am feeling much better now!! :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691318 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 11:41:15 +0000 looch 2691318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleBook: Information is power, I've long said that. And don't worry, you can still plan stuff, just maybe not to the level you were used to before...or you find other ways to use your planning skills! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691306 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 11:26:05 +0000 snowjewelz 2691306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleBook: I'm a total planner too; being a mom has def forced me to let go of a lot of things! And even if you are super prepared, you still can never fully be! Go for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691301 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 11:23:08 +0000 LittleBook 2691301@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snarkybiochemist: I definitely understand! My best friend has been trying for quiet sometime and she is getting pretty frustrated. I can only hope it will be a little easier for us. (fingers crossed!)<br /> @looch: All great questions. I was so worried the other day that DH called a local daycare just to see what the rates are.. surprisingly not as expensive as I first thought! Definitely a lot of research in the near future for us!<br /> @travelingnanny: I am constantly worried about money as well! It'll all work out in the end though! Best of luck in May :happy:<br /> @StrawberryBee: Good point! I would LOVE to stay home with my kids, just as my mom did with my sister and I. But it just doesnt look like that will be happening.. I know daycare has many positive aspects. I hope once we have a baby and visit the daycare we choose to enroll them in, my worrying will stop!<br /> @snowjewelz: I am definitely going to do my absolute best to be as prepared as humanly possible for when the time comes! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691283 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 11:00:22 +0000 snowjewelz 2691283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with your mom; of course there are certain circumstances where it is better to wait but not in your case. I would def sit down and go through your budget and make sure daycare is doable or if you can come up with other arrangements! It's always good to be prepared! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691265 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:40:56 +0000 StrawberryBee 2691265@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleBook: I think it's natural to be worried about what will undoubtedly be a big change in your life. I have no doubts that this will be a positive change :). And that unfortunately, your worry is just beginning! Sometimes it feels like parenting is nothing but a sequence of worries. It's still worth it.</p> <p>And if it makes you feel any better on the daycare front, I think putting my daughter in daycare was one of the best decisions I ever made for her. The socialization, the learning, the play -- they've all been hugely positive for her, and I have no doubts that she'll be well set for kindergarten. And yeah, the paying sucks, but somehow it all works out, and now I just look forward to that blissful time when I won't be paying for daycare (if all goes as planned, in about 5 years! ha!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691264 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:39:17 +0000 travelingnanny 2691264@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I are going to TTC this May too. I also wish I could stay home but that just isn't in the cards for us right now. I'm mostly stressing about figuring out how to pay for health insurance. Right now my nanny family pay for mine but I know I won't work for them forever. My husband keeps telling me that it will all be ok and everything will work out. I wish I didn't stress as much I do about money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691260 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:32:42 +0000 looch 2691260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you kind of have to figure out your best and worse case scenarios. What happens if you do have a baby, what are you going to have to do to keep your life going? Are you willing to take a step back from your work or do you want to continue, what does it mean? Maybe also make a budget...don't get caught up in what you think things cost, do some research, find out what options are out there, you might be surprised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691259 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:31:58 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2691259@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleBook: Oh totally don't set yourself up for it to be a long hard road, just don't be too convinced it will happen the first try </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691257 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:30:23 +0000 LittleBook 2691257@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snarkybiochemist: Great advise. I know it is very tough for a lot of people, and I empathize with every post I read about the difficulties. I think it will be best to try not to think about everything too harshly and let things happen as they should.<br /> @josina: Exactly the dynamic in our house! DH is and always has been the cool calm and collected one. I guess its better than having two anxious/neurotic people trying to have a baby :wink:<br /> @psw27: I have nightmares about those big checks! I think you are absolutely right though, I know it will be worth it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691249 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:17:42 +0000 psw27 2691249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was scared when we started TTC and I was scared when I got my BFP but I'm obviously super happy and in love with our wild little toddler. Paying for daycare stinks, but you just get used to writing those big checks and figure it out as you go. As your mom said, there never is a good time so if you are ready - go for it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691247 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 10:14:53 +0000 josina 2691247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleBook: DH is sooo not a worrier, he always comments, don't worry, it'll work out. Super hard for me to believe that but so far he's been right. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691229 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 09:41:35 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2691229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LittleBook: Oh yea I like to have plans and things figured out and then I started the TTC process and it all went to hell. Allow yourself to grieve and the be ok with this not going perfectly or happening immediately. I don't want to scare you further but it can be a process </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691225 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 09:37:55 +0000 LittleBook 2691225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@josina: I think "jumping in" is the best thing to do! I am so so excited. When expressing my concerns with DH he said "everything seems to work out perfectly for us, even if we thought it would be the opposite. Don't worry this adventure is going to be our greatest." My heart melted a bit :happy:<br /> @snarkybiochemist: I completely agree! I am type A and always want everything perfect with no surprises. I guess I am going to have to let that go when we start trying! Best of luck to you on your journey! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691219 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 09:32:44 +0000 snarkybiochemist 2691219@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm still scared and I keep trying. I think everyone is scared to start and it will be even scarier when I get pregnant. You can only have so much lined up and settled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691207 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 09:14:57 +0000 josina 2691207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was terrified when we first got pregnant about paying for daycare, but it did all work out and now I'm terrified of paying for 2 in daycare, but soo sooo excited to have these two babies! A friend had also told me once, that if you wait till you're ready it'll never happen. Jump in! Motherhood is amazing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691200 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 08:58:42 +0000 LittleBook 2691200@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: That's great to hear! I'm sure everything will work out when the time is right.. I am a worrier so I can't help but to overthink EVERYTHING. I just know we want a family more than anything :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691192 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 08:43:38 +0000 Ajsmommy 2691192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think almost everyone has these feelings when they begin TTC. And I'll have to agree with your mom, there is never a perfect time to start.... I will say that despite having those feelings when we started I am 100% happy we did when we did! Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-and-terrified#post-2691190 Fri, 03 Feb 2017 08:39:16 +0000 LittleBook 2691190@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband and I are going to start to TTC in May. I am very excited but terrified at the same time. For as long as I can remember, I have always wanted to be a mom - a stay at home mom, but it looks like that won't be able to happen. I am disappointed and very worried about daycare (expenses, etc.) My husband owns his own business, so I work for benefits. </p> <p>I can't help but to think that maybe this (meaning May) is not the right time because I am so worried about going to work with a baby... but as my mother keeps telling me "there is never a perfect time for a baby."</p> <p>We own our house, I have a good job and DH's business is slowly but surely growing each year. We want to start a family so badly.. I just don't want to have any doubts or worries. </p> <p>Has anyone ever felt this way? How did you "deal" with the worrying/anxiety? </p>