https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 05 Jul 2026 19:00:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368439 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 20:04:22 +0000 Cole 1368439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HolisticMama: That prescription idea is adorable! My relationship with my mom has never been great, it has its ups and downs. She has some mental health issues that she chooses not to address and a whole bunch of her own baggage to boot. Having a relationship with her is really hard because she spends a lot of time blaming others and being convinced other people look down on her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368340 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 19:27:41 +0000 HolisticMama 1368340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Pumpkin: Yeah. I thought about actually making her a "prescription" for Grammyitis when we do eventually find out we are pregnant.</p> <p>I try to look for the positives in everything. </p> [attach=4604/14/mztw0t.236x177.a10a2cb12dceef2eccc0bb99acaefc55.jpg] https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368337 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 19:27:02 +0000 HolisticMama 1368337@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cole: Wow. Cole- I'm really sorry to hear about Christmas. That's very sad. :( Have you had a troublesome relationship with her previously? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368336 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 19:26:38 +0000 Ms.Pumpkin 1368336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, man, folks! Sounds like a lot of pressure from external sources!</p> <p>@Snowdrop, fingers crossed for a positive result! </p> <p>@HolisticMama: "Grammyitis"?! Oh mercy me, let's just hope my family doesn't hear about that particular ailment! LOL!</p> <p>@anyajenkins, I also know how you feel- my grandparents are in their late 80s, and I'd love to be able to give them a great-grandchild. But it will all happen in it's own time, and I can't change that. But yeah, I love my grandparents so much, and I can't help but think of how amazing it would be to see my Grandma hold my kid. </p> <p>@Cole: No kidding, they're not hiding it all that well! Dr Seuss?! Unless you are a huge Green Eggs &amp; Ham fan, I think that's a pretty loaded gift! Whew! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368306 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 19:06:55 +0000 Cole 1368306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Pumpkin: That is totally my family and my dh's family. They are all trying to be no pressure about it but they aren't doing as great a job as they think. For Christmas my mil gave me all the Dr. Suess books... No one else is close to being ready but we have been married for 5.5 years now so they are all wondering what is taking so long. I was soooo hoping for a bfp before Christmas so we could tell everyone while we were together but it hasn't happened yet. </p> <p>Which leads to my own baggage... turns out it was a good thing that I didn't have a bfp, or at least less complicated. My mom has never been good at Christmas but my dad passed away about a year ago and this Christmas was really hard on her. So a few days before Christmas she had a melt down, she "cancelled" Christmas and we haven't spoken since. This was just one in a long series of events and I am really not ready to work on that relationship yet. But it does make me sad because I know she would love to have a grandchild and it would bring some much needed sunshine to her life. </p> <p>@Snowdrop: Fingers crossed that they are just dotting their i's and crossing their t's. I had a bunch of blood work done at a standard physical a few years ago, a few days later the doctor's nurse called and said the doctor wanted to see me the next day. I was so freaked out and she wouldn't say why... my B12 levels were borderline low. So I hope your doctor is just extra cautious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368276 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 18:54:13 +0000 Anya 1368276@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Pumpkin: yes, specifically from my husband's grandma. She's never said anything to us directly but she's told other people in the family that she hopes we will hurry up because she's afraid she won't live to have the opportunity to have a great-grandchild. I would feel horrible if she passed away before we have a baby, knowing its something she wishes for! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368266 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 18:49:10 +0000 HolisticMama 1368266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Pumpkin: About a month after we got our fertility results back from the RE (1% alleged chance of conceiving naturally) my mom sent me a message on facebook that said she had "grammyitis." </p> <p>Really, mom? NO pressure. You already know we are fighting an uphill battle. Really? REALLY?! I just moved on. :: sigh :: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368203 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 18:22:09 +0000 Snowdrop 1368203@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HolisticMama: not made it yet, really didn't want to till this cycle is over as there's a limited amount of bad news I can take in one cycle. I suppose I could just make it for after AF is due...</p> <p>@Ms.Pumpkin: I know how much my mum wants grandkids but luckily she knows about our struggles and has been great. DH's parents are dead but his extended family all seem to take getting pregnant for granted so I tend to just avoid them if I can! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368192 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 18:16:30 +0000 Ms.Pumpkin 1368192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, @HolisticMama, I feel like you were totally reading my mind!</p> <p>I was just about to post to HB to ask if anyone else is feeling some pretty intense pressure to have a baby from family!</p> <p>Just to make it clear, this is completely self-imposed pressure; neither FI or my families have verbalized their desire for grandkids directly to me, but that desire has been made VERY clear through familial channels. Just suffice it to say, it's not that they would be upset by infertility, per se, but I'm aware of how insanely happy a pregnancy would make them.</p> <p>I'm a people pleaser, and nothing would make me happier than being able to announce a pregnancy to them. But I'm finding it a source of self-imposed stress, and I'm struggling to manage that stress, at least to the point of being able to TTC normally, without all that in my head!</p> <p>Does anybody else deal with a big desire for grandkids from their in-laws or families? We're in our late 30s, and are the first on either side to be in a position to even try for kids, so there aren't any siblings to take the pressure off, so to speak! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368071 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 17:32:10 +0000 HolisticMama 1368071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Snowdrop: :( When is your appointment? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1368025 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 17:08:50 +0000 Snowdrop 1368025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know what you think about pain! I feel it and am like ooh I am ovulating soon then think oh no! What if there is something wrong.</p> <p>Just got a letter from my doctor asking to come in to discuss scan results. I'm pretty sure the radiographer miss diagnosed my follicle as a cyst as I ovulated just three days later but now I'm worried why they thought they should write to me! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-baggage-unclaim#post-1366027 Wed, 22 Jan 2014 08:49:42 +0000 HolisticMama 1366027@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>[attach=4604/14/mzt2ev.300x212.baggage.jpg]</p> <p>I suppose that every big life event has the potential to make your personal baggage feel heavier. I remember feeling totally freaked out when I was approaching being engaged. It brought up all these insecurities about my weight and how I felt about myself. </p> <p>Now as we are TTC, I have been surprised by baggage I thought I put down a long time ago. </p> <p>This morning I had some mild stabbing pain for a very brief moment. On one hand, part of me gets excited that maybe it's a good pregnancy sign. But a much larger part of me thinks..."Oh no. You shouldn't really be experiencing pain. Last time we experienced pain like that we had an ovarian tumor that needed to be removed surgically." </p> <p>This baggage is kind of cramping my style and stealing the joy from my TTC Journey. But luckily I surround myself with some good traveling companions. This morning I see my acupuncturist. (She has some AWESOME points for anxiety: <a href="http://www.nuhs.edu/kim/2012/3/12/transitions-and-change/)" rel="nofollow">http://www.nuhs.edu/kim/2012/3/12/transitions-and-change/)</a><br /> I see my new therpaist tomorrow and I think I have an OBGYN appointment in a few weeks. (I need to call and check). </p> <p>If you feel like you need to let go of some TTC baggage- you can leave it right here at the baggage unClaim. Or if you aren't ready to let it go yet, maybe we can just unload a few items to make it a bit lighter. Or if you just aren't ready to have to deal with this baggage- Just know that you aren't alone. You aren't alone in feeling scared or insecure. You aren't alone if TTC makes you want to cry more than smile. </p> <p>You aren't alone. And don't be afraid to reach out to wellness professionals that you think could support you through this journey. </p>