https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 21 Jun 2026 18:25:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1228099 Tue, 19 Nov 2013 19:25:31 +0000 LalaYes 1228099@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry! I know how you feel. I wanted to start trying right after we got married and a lot of my friends (who now have babies) made me feel bad for wanting to have kids so early. </p> <p>I'm still childless (not by choice) and I feel a bit resentful at times. Honestly, I got rid of my FB account because looking at everybody else's babies made me feel sad and jealous and angry at all once. It's actually really helped, out of sight out of mind and all. I have distanced myself from some of my friends with kids, for my own well being, and choose to hang out more with childless people. I also made a friend who struggles with infertility and then I had someone to talk about with and that has been great for me.</p> <p>I try my best to control my feelings and be happy for people, but it's tough so sometimes I avoid people or situations that make me feel bad, like baby showers. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1225945 Tue, 19 Nov 2013 05:33:34 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 1225945@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand what you are feeling. We started TTC right after our wedding and it took 3.5 years until we had LO - I felt so far behind and it was really hard to be the only childless couple - especially when the social events began to be so centered around child-friendly activities. </p> <p>When we finally did get a BFP that stuck, everyone was so excited for us! Many of them knew about our struggles and were genuinely happy for us. It really helped me to talk about it with my friends because several of them had struggled with IF issues as well, but hadn't really talked about it with me because they didn't know that we had been trying. </p> <p>It was really nice to have a group of people who had been there before me once LO came. They could give me really great advice like "everything you do is wrong anyway according to someone, so just figure out what works for your family" and often helped me see that it was OK to do things differently that I thought I would do them. </p> <p>I know it's hard, but please be assured that whenever it does happen for you, your friends will be happy for you, especially if they know how hard it was for you to get there. </p> <p>And just think of the positives! Since there had been so many showers before mine, my friends had already figured out how to throw a fabulous one and they knew what items I really needed, so I got some really great gifts that I didn't know to ask for. I also got lots of really great hand-me-downs. I seriously don't need to buy any clothes until LO is 18 months at this point and we borrowed a lot of great stuff like the bassinet and a mammaroo. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1225650 Mon, 18 Nov 2013 22:29:39 +0000 Pippadoodle 1225650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Whenever I'm feeling like that, I just try to remember what my grandfather used to say - "if everyone in the room threw their problems in the middle, they'd all take their own back". The grass isn't always greener, and until your future peanut arrives you are building a strong foundation with you DH. My miscarriage - as painful mentally and physically as it was - absolutely made my connection with my DH stronger. GL to you, </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1208161 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 10:05:04 +0000 babybean404 1208161@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lokki I hope it helped to type this up and see that so many people can relate. I feel like since I have been TTC (in July), all I see and hear about is people "accidentally" getting pregnant on TV, movies, etc. I'm like....WHAT!?! Why does it always look so easy! </p> <p>There is a rumor at my work that I am pregnant, and I know it is my own fault--I hinted to someone I trusted and I'm sure she began analyzing and got too excited. But now it is super painful as people are winking at me and I'm thinking....nope, just gained 5 lbs from the stress...definitely not pregnant.</p> <p>Hang in there!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1207619 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:56:15 +0000 Lindsay05 1207619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Although I cannot relate on the baby part, i feel like everyone around me is living a much grander life. Everyone is building new homes, travelling everywhere, and buying new vehicles. I got upset with DH one day and he put things in perspective. All of those people with the expensive stuff are either taking out half a million dollar mortgages and/or work incredibly insane hours to pay for it. For us, i am basically home all the time and get to spend lots of time with my family. We have little debt, and good enough stuff. I hope you can try and see what you do have and try not to focus on others. When that baby does come it will be loved by the greatest parents ever ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1207608 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:33:23 +0000 lokki 1207608@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thank you everyone for your comments. it makes me feel less alone, even though it is still hard! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1160058 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 21:45:28 +0000 mrbee 1160058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We struggled with this too. We were among the first from our group of friends to get married, but then everyone who got married after us got pregnant and had kids while we just had two miscarriages. Bee blogged about our journey here:<br /> <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/the-journey-to-charlie/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/the-journey-to-charlie/</a></p> <p>Not much to add to what she said, but to say that it was a really difficult time in our lives. I never realized so many people pushed strollers around the city until we had our miscarriages... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1160044 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 21:34:58 +0000 Mrs. Cookie 1160044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Comparing is the hardest thing in the world to avoid! I swear it is. How can we not compare ourselves to others? But babies are always exciting, even if you are the last one in your group of friends (and if they forget then gently remind them, haha). Hoping it's your turn next!</p> <p>And I don't believe in the buying a house before having a baby thing, we are saving up and moving around too much right now. It doesn't make sense and babies can survive in apartments too. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1159764 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 18:48:19 +0000 googly-eyes 1159764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big hugs to you. It's frustrating to have to wait. </p> <p>The only thing I would say is that it WILL be new and exciting. You can't let the main exciting part be the shared with friends part because when you enter motherhood the majority of moments will be the alone-up-at-2-am kinds, and you will have to have your own joy apart from them. They'll still be happy for you and hopefully you'll make new mama friends too.</p> <p>Hope you get a bfp soon! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1159412 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 15:19:31 +0000 Cole 1159412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Big hugs to you! I am so sorry you are feeling this way. I have been ready for a baby for so long but I was waiting for my husband to be ready. He finally said he was and I had like 6 people announce that they were already pregnant within about a week including one of my best friends. I was so excited for us to start trying but then so sad that we were "behind." </p> <p>One thing I try to remind myself is that there isn't a finite number of babies like they used up the allotment for the year. It helps too that even though I feel like the excitement factor for our baby will be lower with friends our families are still going to be over the moon happy. The joy for you and your husband is going to be just as enormous too because it will be your own special journey! (plus hand me downs!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1159237 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 14:23:36 +0000 LindsayInNY 1159237@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's easier said than done but just try not to let it get to you. Someone will always have bigger, better, more, you name it. And, at the same time, someone will always have "less" or "smaller." That's just life. But you'll go nuts if you keep comparing yourself and your situation to those around you. You and DH have your life and your plan! Just focus on that and let what may happen, happen! &lt;3 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1157810 Fri, 18 Oct 2013 01:56:00 +0000 deactivated_account 1157810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi there! I'm so sorry you feel this way. I see you live in southern california. SoCal can be a little unforgiving sometimes. I always feel everyone has more money than me here. I was also in irvine recently at a trader joes and seriously everyone was pregnant and/or had a baby with them. Ugh.... So I have no advice for you except "cheer up, buttercup!" You're not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1157739 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 23:55:29 +0000 Grace 1157739@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh, I felt that way too. Like they were winning the race and leaving me behind and that they wouldn't be interested in my baby (or me) once it finally happened. Well, I've got my 6 week old and I was wrong. It's actually really really REALLY nice to gave friends that have had a newborn. They understand how hard it is, they have words of wisdom for when I have questions. Basically, they get it. And they make time if I'm having problems, or just feeling lonely. You may be very pleasantly surprised. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1157639 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 22:10:08 +0000 rawrasaur 1157639@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am sorry you are going through this - I would feel the exact same way in your situation. Hopefully your BFP is around the corner! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1157631 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 22:04:50 +0000 pui 1157631@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry. I can relate. My only advice is don't worry about everyone else. Really.</p> <p>I hope you get your BFP soon. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1157614 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 21:54:16 +0000 Mrs.Someone 1157614@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know exactly how you feel, I'm there now too. The only thing that has helped is coming out of the closet and telling a few close friends. Everyone has been super supportive. Its a rough road to be on, and I just wish I could see 5 years in the future... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1157598 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 21:42:28 +0000 LaughLines 1157598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you're feeling like that, I'm sure it's so difficult! I'm sure your baby will feel even more special since you're trying so hard and want one so badly. It will still be new and exciting to you, and that's what matters! Don't compare yourself to others too much, they may have had troubles conceiving as well, they may be in loads of debt for their fancy cars, etc, and I'm sure you have so much going for you that others would love to have. And all those babies will give your future baby a full date book of play dates! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-feel-behind-all-our-friends#post-1157586 Thu, 17 Oct 2013 21:24:27 +0000 lokki 1157586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have been trying actively for six months or 7 cycles. We've been NPNT since October, and planning on TTC for the last 18 months. In this time we have gone from none of our friends being pregnant or even discussing kids to pretty much all of them holding a baby in their arms. Every one of my long standing best friends that I grew up with has suddenly gotten pregnant, and had their babies.</p> <p>I am really starting to get depressed. Even couples who said they didn't want kids now have a baby, and I just can't bear to even pick up the phone and talk to them. While I should be excited to see all the facebook statuses about the wonders of new parenthood I just get resentful and feel like I should be experiencing that. I feel like by the time we finally do get pregnant it won't even be a big deal or exciting for us. It will just be expected. I also worry I will be bitter and that I am not going to get over the sadness of how hard this has been. </p> <p>I am really starting to feel so alone in this. I don't want to stress my DH out, and none of our family knows`. I have no one to talk to, and I just feel like even if we do get pregnant my friends will either be too busy to care, or will spend most of their time playing the expert by giving me advice since they will have already gone through all of this. I will go through all of this alone and behind them. Having kids was supposed to be new and exciting and it just feels like a lot of the joy has gone out of it. </p> <p>In large part these feelings are probably compounded by so many other dreams that have had to be scaled back due to the economy. We haven't been able to buy a house, we had a really small wedding, I don't have a big rock and we don't get to take a bunch of fancy vacations, drive super nice cars, etc. We were happy to make these choices because we thought it would let us have children sooner. We are comfortable but I feel like we have already had to compromise and make do in so many other areas, that struggling to have kids just makes it even harder. Especially when my friends don't seem to be struggling on this or any other front. They all own or recently bought homes, often in high cost of living areas, and I'm starting to wonder what I am doing wrong that things are just not turning out for us when they make it look so easy. </p> <p>/pity party I guess. I know many couples have struggled for years and it could be much worse, but it still sucks. </p>