Hellobee Boards Topic: TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?

Hellobee Boards Topic: TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 14:24:52 +0000 Amorini on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581590 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 11:48:41 +0000 Amorini 2581590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think my perspective is a bit unique to what others have said so I will chime in. I'm 40 now -- almost 28w pregnant with 39 year-old eggs from IVF. We did IVF because we discovered last spring that DH has severe MFI. Funny. I had read that Atlantic Monthly article several times over the years to buoy my hopes, but what it came down to was him not me. Had I been younger, maybe my own fertility could have compensated a tad for his lack thereof, but it was still a still a snowball's chance that we could have gotten pregnant without major intervention. So interestingly, my own fertility "facts" played out much like the RE and the fertility stats predicted. I am luckily quite fertile but the egg quality wasn't great. So thankfully we did one huge retrieval and got a bunch of eggs. Fertilization was predictably okay. And the amount of embies that grew to day 5 were also a predictable few, most likely due to quality. But I got pregnant on the first shot and feel really lucky about that. I'm pretty sure that I could have conceived without IVF if DH had better swimmers, however I may have experienced loss(es) due to quality in the process. So, looking back, would I have started earlier or felt more urgency? No. DH and I married late and his severe MFI was already a thing that we didn't know about on the day we met. So my advice to my younger self would be to expect the unexpected and if there's any way to get your mate tested early on for sperm issues -- especially if you plan to hold off childbearing, do it! :silly: :goodluck: :goodluck: :goodluck: MamaG on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581587 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 11:40:46 +0000 MamaG 2581587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrsjazz: As I mentioned, I also had the self imposed timeline of 40. I was 37 when I had my first and conceived in two months. The second took longer. I can't say that it was really anything with my eggs/uterus as much as we just weren't in getting our shit together timing wise. It took nearly a year, but I really think it could have happened quicker if we would have been more diligent in our efforts. Even with all of the facts, my OB was much like yours in that we are close in age and she knows what it's like being an "older" mom and she played it all very straight with me and said that given our lifestyle that she really recommended getting done with our family by 40. Just because it might be possible to conceive at 50 doesn't mean that I want to (just like I didn't want to at 16!). I hope you find a groove and all goes well (and quick). oskarsmommy on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581583 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 11:33:51 +0000 oskarsmommy 2581583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @pwnstar: well, the facts for me are all my hormones tested perfect (fsh, amh, lh, prog, etc) and i get pregnant relatively easily, but I still have had some losses.. When I discussed the possibility of those losses with my Dr, and wanted to investigate further (thyroid, blood clotting, anatomical issues, etc) my Dr said we could, but that the most likely cause for the struggle is simply as you get older, the quality of your eggs begins to decline.. She said she still believed I would be able to have a baby, but it may just take me longer.. I pursued ALL the testing, and came back with nothing.. My Dr's simplistic answer was most likely right. God willing this pregnancy goes well, then this will go to show that having a baby at 39 is totally not a problem.. for me.. I am never trying to scare anyone.. but I simply wish all the people who told me don't worry, you have tons of time wouldn't have said that.. even if my outcome is good, and I get my second baby, I wish I had even started sooner.. Being a mother is HARD, and I feel it is even harder at my age. I also don't give the advice unless someone asks me what my opinion is.. Unsolicited advice is the worst! Maysprout on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581565 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 11:13:29 +0000 Maysprout 2581565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @pwnstar: ACOG has quite a few more reasons than listed in that article <a href="http://m.acog.org/Resources-And-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Gynecologic-Practice/Female-Age-Related-Fertility-Decline?IsMobileSet=true" rel="nofollow">http://m.acog.org/Resources-And-Publications/Committee-Opinions/Committee-on-Gynecologic-Practice/Female-Age-Related-Fertility-Decline?IsMobileSet=true</a> Popsci articles aren't really reviewed for accuracy or comprehensive understanding of a subject. Even in the Duke study she promotes it shows a 12 month failure of conception increasing from 18-28% from 35-40 with a longer time to conception due to both male and female factors. That's not to say the majority of women aren't going to get pregnant but it's good to understand that it might take longer and when to try further measures to increase fertility. I just turned 35 and so far getting/ being pregnant has been similar to when I was 29. DH was more nervous than I was bc my period doesn't come back while nursing so I think early menopause was in the back of both our minds. The only time it's been a factor is I hate the diabetes test and don't have any risk factors so the OB said she'd probably be fine with me skipping it except I'm 35. It's somewhat of an arbitrary age but there's times when stats from somewhat random studies are all we have to go off of so im doing the hated test and hoping I don't pass out. mrsjazz on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581531 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 10:09:09 +0000 mrsjazz 2581531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't want to have a baby after 40. I mean, that's not set in stone but that's my preference so that's why I feel so much pressure. I also just had uterine surgery for a fibroid and my doctor was like, um get off the fence because these things can grow again. So there's a race because of age and health issues. I read the Atlantic article when it came out. I was never really worried about being able to get pregnant the second time but a few of my friends had issues with conceiving the 2nd and then I started having issues of my own so now I'm worried a bit. pwnstar on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581523 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 09:55:09 +0000 pwnstar 2581523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Ajsmommy: @oskarsmommy: There are facts (and as demonstrated in the Atlantic article, the context of those *facts* is extremely important and should be weighted accordingly--age is not always the most important/significant), and then there are facts specific to you. I can appreciate wanting to be honest and straightforward in sharing your experience, but really, the facts specific to each person are what's most important for each person. oskarsmommy on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581516 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 09:38:23 +0000 oskarsmommy 2581516@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Ajsmommy: exactly! I hate when people say the " oh so and so just had a baby and she is 42". It puts this idea out there that EVERYONE can easily have a baby into their 40's. I am of the same mind set. I tell it straight. I'm not doing anyone any favors telling them they have plenty of time. edelweiss on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581494 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 08:53:07 +0000 edelweiss 2581494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ when we were trying for #2, i was...jesus i was 38. i just calculated that right now. i thought i had been younger. my brain is fried. anyway, for some reason i didn't feel that much pressure, but you could say that was because we were already trying. i imagine that if i had still been deciding, i would have felt pressure. like you, i wanted to be done by the time i turned 40. i had LO #2 a few weeks before my 39th birthday. catlady on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581492 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 08:42:24 +0000 catlady 2581492@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I did when we started TTC #2, and it got worse as we lost one pregnancy and then another. I turned 35 right after the second loss and I became worried that I'd have to see an RE and delay things further if we had yet another loss. Luckily, we got pregnant soon again afterwards and I am relieved that this pregnancy seems to be going well so far. When I take a step back though, I see many of my friends who don't even have kids yet or just had their first, so I think the pressure was self-imposed. Honestly I just want to be done with the baby stages while I still feel relatively young. pwnstar on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581485 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 08:35:49 +0000 pwnstar 2581485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @looch: I have read the article to which you are referring . . . it was immensely helpful! <a href="http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/" rel="nofollow">http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2013/07/how-long-can-you-wait-to-have-a-baby/309374/</a> winniebee on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581482 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 08:21:11 +0000 winniebee 2581482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yep. I'm 36 this month. We have 2 healthy boys but just lost our third son at 18.5 weeks to spina bifida. Prior to that had 4 chemical pregnancies and my repeat loss testing showed abysmally low AMH for my age. Technically our recent loss was not an age related factor, but our decision to roll the dice and face potentially even more heartbreak again for a third child weighs heavily on me. If I was 30 I don't think there would be a question of trying again. But at age 36, I know so much can go wrong. And bad things happen to us, not other people. So I just don't know. ShootingStar on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581476 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 08:05:36 +0000 ShootingStar 2581476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yeah, I felt a little under the gun. I had my first at 35, so we didn't have a huge amount of time to waste in between. We weren't really ready until DS was 2 though. We also needed to space out the daycare expense, which in our state gets cheaper at 2.9. So it was a tight line to walk. But just because you're older doesn't mean you'll necessarily have a problem. For my first pregnancy I was really struggling with PCOS. I was pre-diabetic and not ovulating at all. I had to see an RE in order to get pregnant, and I needed pretty strong meds to do so. I got GD in pregnancy and it turned into type 2 after (lucky me :bummed: ). But I got my blood sugar under control, started ovulating on my own, and got PG the first cycle we tried! I was 37 at the time and will have LO2 when I'm 38. Ajsmommy on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581457 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 07:58:02 +0000 Ajsmommy 2581457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I had DD when I was 36 and we always planned on having two. Unfortunately DH had an illness right when we would have been starting TTC. So it got pushed back by 8 months! I def felt like the clock was ticking!!! My deadline had always been before I turned 40 and time was just running out. We then ended up at an RE and that wasn't the greatest experience. Luckily though we are newly pregnant and hoping for a healthy 9 months. (I'm 39) If I could go back in time I'd try sooner and earlier. Putting it off only made it harder and more stressful. I wish I had a penny for every time someone told me "oh you have plenty of time" to have babies... bc honestly you don't. I don't want to scare anyone but it's just the facts. mediagirl on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581455 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 07:55:59 +0000 mediagirl 2581455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes. It is a race against time. We have a 4 year old and I am turning 39 this year. My husband is unemployed and the timing just sucks. We think we are pretty much stuck not having another because of timing of it all. :( looch on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581416 Wed, 06 Jul 2016 06:32:01 +0000 looch 2581416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ To answer the question about being in a race against time, yes, that's exactly how it felt. We're so conditioned to believe that after 35, your ovaries shut off and it's impossible to conceive. Then I read the article in the Atlantic that refutes that theory and things calmed down. GoGoSnoGirl on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581373 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 22:13:37 +0000 GoGoSnoGirl 2581373@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrsjazz: wishing you the best of luck! I felt like the clock was ticking SO loudly when I started ttc for our 1st back when I was 40! It was just how our lives worked out, though to start that late. I got pregnant ~4 cycles later, but lost that baby, then pregnant again with our LO1 ~4 cycles after the mc. We're trying to decide if we should try for #2, but I'm nearing 43 & we can't help but be nervous about how it'll go. eta: My pregnancy itself went really well--only had a little excess fluid at the very end. MamaG on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581372 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 22:12:04 +0000 MamaG 2581372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrsjazz: it was certainly different and in many ways easier. I think it helped simply having the experience of being pregnant before. I had a rcs and found recovery easier too. mrsjazz on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581371 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 22:03:12 +0000 mrsjazz 2581371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @MamaG: @oskarsmommy: And how was/is the second pregnancy compared to the first? I'm trying to whip myself into better shape than I was with my first in the hopes that pregnancy will treat me better. And hoping it doesn't take too long to get pregnant, I want to be DONE by 40. oskarsmommy on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581365 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 21:38:47 +0000 oskarsmommy 2581365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ yep! It sucks, because there is pressure TTC as it is, but the added age factor sucks.. then it adds stress which doesn't help.. I just got pregnant again, and I just turned 39. I don't like that I am this age, because it adds pressure to the pregnancy as well. But, there is nothing I can do to change the situation, I can only choose to stay positive and hopeful. Good luck to you!! MamaG on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581362 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 21:33:32 +0000 MamaG 2581362@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I did with my second. We had a self imposed deadline of my 40th birthday. I got pregnant after too many months of poorly timed trying when I was 4 months from turning 40. I hated the stress of it all. mrsjazz on "TTC in your late 30s/early 40s -- Do you feel like you're in a race against time?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-in-your-late-30searly-40s-do-you-feel-like-youre-in-a-race-against-time#post-2581354 Tue, 05 Jul 2016 21:19:58 +0000 mrsjazz 2581354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I saw my doctor for a post-op appt. today and she told me DH and I could start TTCing in the next 3-6 months. She said she's comfortable with 3 months (even though some docs recommend waiting 6 and sometimes 9 months after some kind of uterine surgery like I had) but she doesn't want to tell me to wait 9 months when age will also play a factor in TTCing. DH and I have been on the fence, mostly leaning towards one more (LO is 4) but we're off the fence and have a timeline now. But I feel an intense amount of pressure that I didn't feel the first time around. I'm 38. Anyone else have TTCing with a "geriatric uterus"? Do you feel like you're in a race against time?