https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 18:16:40 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job/page/2#post-884143 Tue, 25 Jun 2013 18:17:00 +0000 LindsayInNY 884143@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lisamarieloves: You and me both. I was admitted a year after graduating so that throws me off too. I'm at the first firm when I haven't wanted to (or actually have) cried in my office. I love my boss but don't like the billable hours. There's no partner track or anything per se but they do have flexibility which will be key once there's a LO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job/page/2#post-884107 Tue, 25 Jun 2013 18:05:26 +0000 deactivated_account 884107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: So funny but I've never been able to figure out what "year" associate I am. I graduated 2007. Does that make me 5th or (gees) 6th? Where does time go? I've decided after MUCH thought that I will stay at my currect law firm because I think I will be able to work from home a couple of days a week. Its not the ultimate power-law firm job I thought I wanted when I was younger, but priorities change, right? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job/page/2#post-884077 Tue, 25 Jun 2013 17:50:22 +0000 LindsayInNY 884077@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lisamarieloves: I'm a 4th year (I think?) - class of 2008 :) The house cleaner and ordering groceries have been a HUGE time saver! It beats wasting a whole weekend day dealing with chores and errands! DH is an attorney too but works in-house at a bank. We bought a condo closer to my job in anticipation of a LO. I had been dealing with a 1 1/.2 hour commute and his was about 40 minutes. Now mine is less than 30 minutes and DH's commute is about an hour-ish. We're never not going to have demanding jobs, we're just going to have to figure out how to make it with with a family too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job/page/2#post-884043 Tue, 25 Jun 2013 17:32:06 +0000 deactivated_account 884043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: I love reading this thread! I'm a 5th year associate at a law firm and I have been waiting for the perfect time to starting TTC. Just when I thought I got to that perfect time, my husband took a significantly more stressful job than my own. (I didn't think that could happen! =) ) But we decided to get a house cleaner as well! I felt funny about doing that. But we used to spend a significant portion of nearly every Saturday cleaning the house. I feel so much better about having that time freed up. I will likely always work for the exact reasons you stated, but I feel better knowing that little adjustments can be made to our schedules to free up so much time! </p> <p>Best of luck to all of us working girls who are TTC or are thinking about TTC!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job/page/2#post-880210 Mon, 24 Jun 2013 14:15:40 +0000 Claire.Peonies 880210@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally hear you on this one. I am a medical resident (last year thankfully) and am hardly home. It makes me resentful at times actually. It is like my job is keeping me from living life, having children, enjoying time with my husband..... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-875783 Fri, 21 Jun 2013 23:41:35 +0000 Glitter 875783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: I'm having my MMR and TDAP shots in a few days and then the one month wait before we actively TTC :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-875777 Fri, 21 Jun 2013 23:39:10 +0000 SupernovaJ 875777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Glitter: are you actively TTC or holding off for a bit longer? Sorry the hours are so long! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-875695 Fri, 21 Jun 2013 22:38:42 +0000 Glitter 875695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I work in a similar environment - I am the only married actuarial consultant and one of the youngest (26) in a consultancy of about 14 (except for the owner whose wife is a SAHM). All the females are very career-oriented and seem to have no intentions of having a family. It is expected of us to work until the clients' needs are met - so late nights and weekends are a norm. This has had its fair share of strain on DH and I but thank God I have been pulled off some strenuous projects and have more home time now. I know when LO comes along (God willing) it will be frowned upon and I have no intention of putting career over family.</p> <p>ETA: I have been working with my company for close to four years now - and been in the industry for 5-6 years, so hopefully I have "proven" myself before family comes along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859288 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 17:05:26 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 859288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Pirouette: you'll find someone great! We just learned over time what was crucially important an what wasn't at all. It took a little trial and error, but we got there. Don't fear the process, just dig in an recognize what you can train and what you can safely let go of. But our nanny helps us clean and cook and pick up the kids, which makes life so much easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859238 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:34:48 +0000 bamblm 859238@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: amazon and soap.com. Eta: it's not always cheaper but comparable enough and anytime I don't have to waste time and drive somewhere is a win! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859231 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:29:28 +0000 LindsayInNY 859231@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: I need to suck it up and sign up for Amazon Prime... Is it really a better deal than a sale in-store though?! And yes, laundry!! Look for places with "wash and fold" services! I'm sure there are some in the DC-area. They do it by pound so I wash our sheets/towels (since they're heavier) and anything that can't go in the dryer every couple of weekends. It's amazing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859222 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:24:21 +0000 dc yoga bee 859222@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: not to thread jack but laundry too!?! I need to look into this. We order all our toiletries through a subscription on amazon. Even dog food. You can set it up to deliver once a month, every three months etc. we even do toilet paper and paper towels that way too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859197 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:10:00 +0000 LindsayInNY 859197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@dc yoga bee: We've always sent DH's drycleaning out (luckily we have delivery available too) and I don't have it that often or regularly. The laundry is new but taking some adjusting since I'm a control person. I have to let go and realize it might be folded differently, etc. but at the end of the day, it's saving me time! I was doing it all before on the weekends but then it sucked up one whole day!!</p> <p>@bamblm: Where do you order toiletries through?! That's definitely something I should consider. Although I do love CVS ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859181 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:03:19 +0000 bamblm 859181@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: That and I do almost everything online now. I get deodorant, toothpaste, toiletries all online now. Almost all my shopping for clothes and presents for other people is online also. I use my online banking all the time, even for depositing checks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859179 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 16:02:43 +0000 dc yoga bee 859179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: this! We have recently discovered online grocery shopping, and our new building sends out for dry cleaning. It was getting hard having time to do it all and work, and we don't even have kids at the moment! </p> <p>Luckily since I'm govt I don't have a set amount of hours to meet a year per se. But we do have to bill hours, and I don't want to come up as "lacking." But like others said, gotta learn to be even more efficient at work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859165 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:58:34 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 859165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bamblm: Mmm I could do a lot more "fun" stuff if I had a housekeeper and a gardener! I may have to outsource some of the household chores once we do have a LO in order to keep some of that time available for LO and SO. I guess that goes toward the whole notion of having a great support system -- sometimes you may just have to pay to get that support! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859157 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:56:08 +0000 LindsayInNY 859157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bamblm: That's what I've been thinking!!</p> <p>We've also been figuring out ways to maximize our time at home. We have someone coming to clean every 3 weeks (right now), order groceries online for delivery and send our laundry and drycleaning out to be done. Less to deal with on the weekend and more together time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859153 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:54:28 +0000 bamblm 859153@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LindsayInNY: It'll happen. When you are faced with I need to finish this by X:00 so I can get home to my baby, it gets done! </p> <p>@NorCalWayfarer: To be honest, the nanny helps with things around the house also. Our grocery store is within walking distance, so we'll ask her to pick up things if we run out, like milk or bread, etc. Also we hired a maid service to come twice a month so I don't clean anymore. If I had to clean also, I'd never have time for SO! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859144 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:48:24 +0000 Pirouette 859144@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: I'm nervous about this too, as i don't want to be mommy-tracked. But we took this into account when we set our TTC timeline. I thought long and hard about it and realized that, at least at my firm, it's not necessarily going to happen as long as i prove myself by coming back and working hard after LO is born. There was no way i could wait until making partner before having kids, because it's too far away, but my immediate boss is probably 5 or less years from retirement, and they'll have to either promote or sidestep me at that point. I realized if I have a kid now, and come right back, it was more likely to put me in line for that promotion down the line, rather than if i waited a few years and got pregnant shortly before he left. I can't tell you how it will work out, but i'd like to think it will, because i intend to have it "all" ;) </p> <p>@Mrs. Jacks: I've definitely realized a good nanny will be the key to making this work. I'm just terrified about starting that process, because I imagine it's a bit like finding a needle in a haystack in my hood!</p> <p>@SupernovaJ: If you deal with it the right way, i don't think it has to ever cross your boss's mind that you are not serious about your job simply because you want a family. I plan to explain to them how important my job is to me and how hard I'm going to work to maintain my career. Many people even say becoming a mom made them better at their jobs! It's just about finding the right balance. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859142 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:45:46 +0000 LindsayInNY 859142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bamblm: I really need to get more efficient at work. That's my biggest downfall. It's part me being distracted and part people at work distracting me. There's definitely going to come a time where I have to make some changes though and I realize that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859141 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:44:45 +0000 LindsayInNY 859141@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: Like you already mentioned, my long-term/post-baby goal is to go in-house. I'm not the bread winner in our household but, regardless, I have student loans and an advanced degree I killed myself to get and not working isn't an option for me. Nor is it something I want to do. So if it means I have to take a non-firm or non-traditional job then I'm okay with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859140 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:44:10 +0000 bamblm 859140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: We also have a nanny, who is like family. We made it very clear what our working schedule was. But I also stress a little about making her work too much since she has a family of her own too! </p> <p>My SO also has a very demanding job-even more than mine, but somehow we have been able to make it work so far.</p> <p>@LindsayInNY: I feel like I work all the time. I have no idea what I used to waste all my free time on! I also try and be much more efficient with my time at work. ~Except for pumping breaks, when I'm here ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859136 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:42:40 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 859136@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsayinny: That is a common way of dealing with it at my firm and not something I'm particularly interested in doing. I understand it's how she can make billables and get quality time in with her LO, but I feel that my SO deserves some of my time too. I'm not judging ones who follow that path, I just don't see it as my solution. Not quite sure if there IS a solution hahahah. But it's nice to be able to talk to others and see how they handle it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859120 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:37:57 +0000 LindsayInNY 859120@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: I'm in a practice area where there really isn't a "partner track." We have a junior partner sort of position but I'm years off from getting there. So, luckily, I don't have that sort of added stress. I have an attorney friend who's SO doesn't have as demanding of a job. I asked her once how she meets her billables and she basically works ALL the time - puts daughter to bed, works some more; before going out on weekend, does some work. I don't know how she does it or has any time for her SO either! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859100 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:29:52 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 859100@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: Yes it sounds like support is key, whether that's a SO who has more time to spend with them, getting grandparents to help, or finding a fabulous nanny like you have! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859076 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:21:31 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 859076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorCalWayfarer: We do it with a great support system. For our family, we had to pay for that support system. We have the best nanny in the world and she really takes up the slack for us. We couldn't do it without her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859066 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:19:22 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 859066@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Granted, I know A LOT of women who have left firms for state/county or in-house jobs. So maybe that's what it will take... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859061 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:18:24 +0000 NorCalWayfarer 859061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a lawyer at a regional firm and in a not-as-intense-as-corporate practice, but we still have billable hours and I still feel the pressure. I've been here almost three years and we've been TTC for one month. Our firm is "family-friendly" and has a "good work-life balance" but I've noticed female associates with kids tend to get mommy-tracked and the successful partners with kids have a SO who has a less intense job and is able to help with parenting duties. My SO has a super demanding job and often travels 4 days a week so I have no idea how we're going to pull it off once we have a LO. I'm just generally feeling discouraged about being able to have a family and have a successful career in the industry. I don't know how women do it... :-/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-859020 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 15:04:52 +0000 justdarling 859020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am also an attorney and had a demanding firm job. We waited until I had been there for a while before TTC because I didn't want to get mommy-tracked. I had all of the same concerns that you had. Unfortunately we have had a hard time TTC and have been at it for 18 months now. When we started seeing a doctor about infertility I got even more concerned about my career. I got to the point where I just couldn't handle the pressure and stress. TTC can be extremely emotionally hard, and then there was stress from the job. I tried to do it all, but in the end, I just wasn't happy about any of it.<br /> I ended up changing jobs 2 months ago to an in-house counsel position with more of a work/life balance. This works more for us. We are still TTC and I figure I need to put in the extra effort now so that when we do get our BFP I won't feel so guilty leaving for maternity leave. I think you just have to prove your worth now and see what happens. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ttc-while-working-a-demanding-job#post-858980 Fri, 14 Jun 2013 14:51:58 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 858980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SupernovaJ: I'm just as intense about my girls (obviously), but away from work. I love my job so it makes it easy. </p>