https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 03:11:37 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356421 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 14:10:09 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2356421@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: I would go with two middle names. But I'm biased because I have two and my kids both have two. It's really no big deal. For documentation (middle initial) we use the first one since technically I think it's considered one middle name with a space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356354 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 10:23:17 +0000 lamariniere 2356354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you should go with your gut!<br /> Personally, if I had to make the decision, I would pick two middle names over two last names. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356256 Sat, 14 Nov 2015 03:24:41 +0000 buttermilk 2356256@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We did the same thing but gave her DH's last name and my name as a second middle name. That's definitely the easier option in my opinion. Since second middle names can be so easily dropped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356208 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 23:08:33 +0000 Corduroy 2356208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I also don't have a POV but just wanted to chime in to say middle names are great for hiding a lot of confusion. My maiden middle name was my mom's maiden name so I hyphenated my parents' last names as my middle when I got married. It means a lot to me but nobody sees it. TSA doesn't allow hyphenated middle names (not that you're going that route) but they don't care that I leave my middle blank. Do what feels right to you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356188 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 22:09:50 +0000 yoursilverlining 2356188@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't really have a suggestion on what you should do - I think you should do whatever you want! - but I have some experience with your situation as my LO has both 2 middle names and my husband's last name, while I've always retained my maiden name. </p> <p>We've traveled extensively (she has a passport too), we've registered with several doctors offices, daycare, extracurricular activities, etc. we've never once run into any questions or issues with her last name being different from mine or questions about our relationship. If there is enough space to spell out both middle names, we do that, otherwise we give her initials in place of a middle name. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356184 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 22:03:16 +0000 JenGirl 2356184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were in a similar situation. I love my last name and am very attached to it and am published under it. So I kept it when we got married. My husband's kept his name as well. When it came to our son, I was open to whatever. We discussed double last name or hyphenating but thought it would be cumbersome, confusing and unsustainable. So we decided one a single last name and my husbans actually preferred to use my last name as his is often mispronounced and misspelled and sounds a bit unpleasant. So our son has my last name. We debated about if/how to include his family in the name, and we settled on using my husband's last name as the middle name. So far, it's gone great! A little bit of explaining in the hospital and to family, but people have been mostly very accepting and the only protests were minimal and short lived. </p> <p>So I'd recommend a double middle rather than a double last. Mostly because a double last gets confusing on forms, databases, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356177 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:47:07 +0000 magnolia 2356177@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My last name is my son's middle name. I don't have a middle name and we didn't have a middle name we liked and I wanted him to have my name but not a hyphen. I think it works out well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356173 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:37:08 +0000 Charm54 2356173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: ya I would have felt bad dropping one of my last names when I got married, but my mother understood that I didn't want to have 3 middle names haha so she didn't care when I dropped her maiden </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356170 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:34:39 +0000 Foodnerd81 2356170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Charm54: I was going to say, if baby has 2 middle names, they can always decide to drop one when they get married, if they want to. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356167 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:24:03 +0000 Charm54 2356167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have 2 Middle names that my parents gave me- one is a "regular" name and the other is my mother's maiden name. I'm glad her maiden name was a middle name and not another last name...made things easier when I wanted to drop it to make my own maiden name my second middle instead when I got married </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356157 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:12:30 +0000 MamaCate 2356157@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: I kept my name when I got married but we agreed to give kids DH's last name. We used my last name as the second middle name for both kids as we had family names we also wanted to use. So that would be my vote. </p> <p>My mom did not change her name either and gave us her last name as our middle. That worked well too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356155 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 21:09:59 +0000 lady baltimore 2356155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you for all of the feedback!</p> <p>@TemperanceBrennan: I don't know if DH would change his name (we have joked about it in the past - he said he would change his name if his sister did), but I would never seriously ask him to do that. Since we've had conversations about it, I feel like he could have brought it up if he were genuinely open to it, you know? I never even considered taking his name, so it wouldn't feel right to ask him to take mine.</p> <p>@sapphire: @Boogs: @wrkbrk: @HabesBabe: I have mentioned FirstName HisLastName MyLastName, but DH is the one pushing for a different middle name. We have a first name-middle name combo picked out for a boy that he is pretty set on. Only the first name is set for a girl, so using DH's LN as a MN is possible, but he still seems to prefer a chosen middle name.</p> <p>I am strongly leaning toward two middle names. It seems more flexible than two surnames, but LO will still have both of our names represented. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356076 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 18:34:15 +0000 HabesBabe 2356076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would vote with @sapphire and @wrkbrk-- DH's last name as the only last name, unless you are DEAD SET on having a "pretty" middle name in addition to it.</p> <p>Then I would vote for 2 middle names. My husband and my son have two middle names and paperwork, etc. is easy peasy. I have a hyphenated/two last names and everything is a pain in the ass. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356051 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 18:08:34 +0000 wrkbrk 2356051@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lady baltimore: Is just his last name as your child's middle name an option? That's what I am doing (my last name will be his middle name and DW's last name will be his last name - neither she nor I changed our names when we got married). I have several friends doing the same! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356032 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:45:49 +0000 alphagam84 2356032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just had my daughter last week and we hyphenated her last name with our separate last names as I kept my name when we married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2356008 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:26:32 +0000 PurplePeony 2356008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd use it as a middle. We gave DD my DH's last name but her (only) middle is my last name for documentation etc purposes. As a bonus, it made it easier on us because we had one less name to try to agree on, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2355997 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:13:54 +0000 Boogs 2355997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It would be easier to have it as a middle name, I think. This coming from a person with four names...it confuses a lot of places lol. Do you have to have 2 middles? Is it possible to just have DH's last name as a middle name? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2355990 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:10:43 +0000 ms.line 2355990@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a different last name from my husband, and we're planning on hyphenating our LO's last name. It was important for me to use my last name, especially since we're estranged from DH's family. But my DH still wanted to include his last name, so our compromise is hyphenation. Our last names flow together well so it's not that big of a deal, but I'd imagine it could be more of a pain depending on the LNs in question. Since your DH doesn't mind, I would probably just use his LN as a second middle. If my husband was agreeable, I'd do the same! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2355989 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:10:01 +0000 peaches1038 2355989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I kept my maiden name when I got married and we just had our first LO on Sunday. We didn2 middle names. My parents did the same for me and my sister when we were born, so I've gone through my whole life with 4 names. It was not confusing or an issue ever. I knew who my parents were and that they were married and so did everyone else. I go by first name last name in my everyday life but on all my important documents, like passport, license, diplomas, etc, I use all 4 names. I'm happy that my DS will have both our names and he can use them as he wishes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2355982 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:05:27 +0000 sapphire 2355982@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Neither? Make DH's last name the only middle name? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2355979 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 17:04:15 +0000 TemperanceBrennan 2355979@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Two middle names. </p> <p>I have two last names, my maiden and married - not hyphenated. I use them interchangeably - at work I'm Temperance Maiden. With friends/family, I'm Temperance Married. It works fine and is easy to explain, but I imagine it would be a pain as a kid. </p> <p>I knew a kid with a hyphenated last name. He got questions about it constantly. Not the end of the world, but annoying regardless.</p> <p>ETA: Rereading your post, you say, "I think that is is still important to have DH's last name somewhere in our child's official name, if only to make traveling, registering for school and extracurriculars, etc. more simple." I don't think having DH's last name in his name will make it more simple. If anything, it might complicate things. Is DH open to changing his last name to yours so your whole family would have the same last name? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2355966 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 16:49:27 +0000 Foodnerd81 2355966@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think for official documentation, it would be easier to have two middle names than two last names. I just feel like it's more confusing for documents, plus socially, if you have to figure out what he is usually called vs what is official. Middle names rarely get used anyway. </p> <p>Fwiw I changed my name when I get married but kept my maiden name as a second middle, and it's not an issue. I just have to make sure airline tickets line up with what my ID says. But friends who have added their husbands last names so they have two last names report more confusion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-middle-names-or-two-last-names#post-2355915 Fri, 13 Nov 2015 16:07:35 +0000 lady baltimore 2355915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have decided to give LO my last name. He or she will grow up surrounded by people with my name, and will really be a member of the MyLastName family. Other than DH, we never spend time with anyone with his last name (his mother remarried and changed her name, his sister took her husband's name).</p> <p>I think that is is still important to have DH's last name somewhere in our child's official name, if only to make traveling, registering for school and extracurriculars, etc. more simple. DH is on board, but does not care about having his last name as part of what the child uses on a regular basis.</p> <p>Given this, would you give DH's last name as a second middle name, or a second last name? I know which way I am leaning, but wanted to get more opinions. I am particularly interested to hear from anyone who has a different last name from your partner - how did you handle the LN issue when it came to LO? </p>