https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 23:33:13 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835777 Tue, 24 Jul 2018 14:26:48 +0000 pachamama 2835777@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: you and I were due around the same time almost exactly :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835621 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 21:33:04 +0000 crazydoglady 2835621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is so reassuring to read! I originally wanted a 2 year age gap, but it took nearly a year to get pregnant this time around and now are on our way to a 3 year 2 month age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835604 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 20:29:32 +0000 DesertDreams88 2835604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Currently 5.5 months into an exactly-2-yr gap and it has been rough with LO1's lack of verbal comprehension &amp; communication, self-contfol, and gentleness .... I am glad we did the 2 year gap for personal reasons, but if there's a baby #3, we aren't planning to open that door until it would be a 3 year age gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835590 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 19:17:13 +0000 HappyBaker 2835590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have 2 years between DD and DS1, and 3 years between DS1 and DS2. I have LOVED the 3 year age gap so much and also the 5 year gap between oldest and youngest. My older 2 seem like such "big kids" as opposed to when my second was born my daughter still seemed like a toddler who could not easily be controlled or reasoned with. It was also nice while pregnant both kids understood if I was having a not feeling great kind of day.</p> <p>I agree though I think either will be great and you will figure it out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835524 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 14:04:35 +0000 skinnycow 2835524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: Not bad at all. I have the same thoughts sometimes. If I didn't miscarry I would have a 28 month old and a 1 month old right now and I can't imagine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835522 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 13:55:28 +0000 pachamama 2835522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: Ahh I see. The more I thought about it, the more I could not imagine them being 2 years apart. Sound like your #2 is a sweetie- mine is but only sometimes ;-) I have said many times since my miscarriage (is this bad?) I am glad the will be 3 years apart! My son hit a really easy sweet period around age 1.5-2 but at 2.5 he's really become more difficult. So I'm hoping he'll grow out of it and be less aggressive and more independent by age 3 ya know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835490 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 11:26:39 +0000 castilrm 2835490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are done with our two girls, but they are two years and 3 months apart. I really like the age difference. My sister and I were nearly 10 years apart and I think it was tough for us to be close until we were in 20s. So it was important to me have kids who were relatively close in age. My oldest was just old enough to feel like she could “help” with the baby, like bring me diapers or a toy for the baby. She had some jealousy issues at the beginning (a lot of “my mommy!” when I was holding the baby and reacting more sensitively to things that normally would not have bothered her), but it was never directed at the baby and she was over it after a month or so. I think the fact that she was young made the adjustment easier - I doubt she really remembers ever having been an only child. And now that they are 3 and 10 months, they are having a lot more fun together. The baby idolizes her sister - she gets so excited whenever her sister comes home from preschool. And my oldest really tries to play with her sister the best she can and really loves teaching her new things and telling her friends all about her baby sister. I’d say the only frustrating things for me with this age difference has been that my older daughter is only starting to get the hang of sharing now so she can get possessive with toys and that causes conflict with the two of them and it can be really tiring. Until I have them down for bed at night, I feel like I’m constantly on the go with playing with them or feeding them or cleaning. But it’s also become a lot more fun lately. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835461 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 09:28:54 +0000 LemonJack 2835461@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@skinnycow: I really have loved the gap. My big girl takes total ownership over her sister and protects her. It’s adorable. And, although she’s not always the most patient in other areas, she’s so patient and understanding with her sister, even when she’s getting into her stuff. She introduces her as “my baby”. ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835458 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 09:25:29 +0000 LemonJack 2835458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: Great point! My thought process is mostly on whether or not 2 years is noticeably harder than 3, but I suspect that a lot of it has to do with temperament too. My second is super easygoing which is helpful.</p> <p>@Silva: I’ve definitely had that same thought about kicking the two year old out of the baby role sooner than I’d like. I think it all works out just fine though, so I’m sure your little guy will adjust! I completely understand though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835448 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 09:04:22 +0000 snowjewelz 2835448@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My two now have exactly a 2 year gap. I originally was planning for 2.5-3 year gap but DD2 came along early :happy: It was hard in the beginning looking back b/c DD1 at 2 years old was still such a baby in so many ways! But I also like that she barely remembers having me to herself. I also like that they're close together so that they can be good playmates together. Now that DD2 is 1.5 they really can start doing a lot of things together and playing together (when not fighting, lol). It was def tough on me to have been pregnant/nursing without a longer break but at the same time I'm happy that I got that all over with! </p> <p>We're still contemplating a 3rd and since DD2 is already 1.5, we'd be looking at a 2.5-3 year gap again. I can def see the bonus to this since the older your older kids are, the easier and more helpful they are! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835418 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 07:47:45 +0000 skinnycow 2835418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm happy to see so much love for the three year gap. DH and I originally wanted children 2-2.5 years apart but it didn't work out.. We'll have at least three years between kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835413 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 07:14:01 +0000 bhbee 2835413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@pachamama: this :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835407 Mon, 23 Jul 2018 06:05:47 +0000 pachamama 2835407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LemonJack: I think most moms would probably agree that whatever they "got"- 2 or 3 or 4 years ultimately worked out best for their family. We make the best of the spacing because we have to ya know?! I would say the closest you would want them, start trying- unfortunately you never know what could happen. I was due to have my kids 2 years apart and I thought that was just perfect. Then I miscarried kinda late in the game then it took 8 months to get pregnant again so now they're 3 years and ya know what? It's perfect :-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835389 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 21:11:38 +0000 Silva 2835389@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had 3.5 between my first two, and will have 2 between my second and third. I wish we could have done a 3 year age gap this time, but had to move it along for other reasons.<br /> My son feels so much like a baby still and I really feel like I’m kicking him out of that role too soon. He’s definitely going to be in diapers for the foreseeable future. It actually makes me really sad to think about him not getting to be the baby for much longer, in a way I never get with my daughter (because she was a youn preschooler when her bother was born- walked everywhere, more independent, etc). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835388 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 21:09:11 +0000 Becky 2835388@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am in a similar boat: I WOH FT and we are loosely considering a third. However, we’re deciding between a 3 and a 4 year gap. Our two have a 2.5 year gap and it was very hard for me. DD1 was at her worst behaviorally when DD2 came along. She was so emotional and difficult. Once she got to 3.5 things were much easier. I know plenty of people who have a short gap between 1 and 2 and I feel like that’s very different because you only have 1 crazy toddler to look after. I considered a 2 year age gap for potential #3 and after that came and went I was just like, what was I thinking?! I could do it but holy cow a 3 year gap would be so much more manageable. My DD1 is also going into K this year and I cannot imagine having to adjust to that and a new baby at the same time (for me, not her; she’d be fine but I’m not the most organized). And I don’t think sibling relationship wise there’s a huge difference between 2-3 years.</p> <p>Also last time my DH and I discussed the spacing he pointed out what a great relationship he has with his youngest sister, who is 7 years younger than him. He really loves that he remembers her coming home, and kissing her goodnight in her crib, which he doesn’t have for his other 2 (they are 19 months and 4.5 years younger). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835385 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 20:40:49 +0000 LemonJack 2835385@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: You sound like me. I love this three year gap so much, which is why I wonder if I should just wait and do that again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835384 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 20:38:35 +0000 LemonJack 2835384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bhbee: I have definitely thought about the toll of pregnancy! I was fortunate to have relatively uncomplicated pregnancies, but I did notice that my morning sickness and exhaustion were worse with the second and lasted longer. I’m dreading that with a third! And, miscarriages have definitely been something I’ve thought/worried about. :(</p> <p>@hellocupcake: Good points! I WOH FT so I probably won’t be able to do a ton of the volunteering anyway, but I have wondered if it would be super disruptive to my oldest to have to adjust to a new baby during kindergarten. I’m sure I’m overthinking that though.</p> <p>@nana87: That was very much my first! She would have had a hard time adjusting if a baby had come along sooner because she wanted mama all the time.</p> <p>@Kemma: I have definitely considered that the differences might come down to temperament. Our second is incredibly easygoing so I think she would adjust easily. I hope so at least!</p> <p>@Calibee: I have thought about the large gap. My oldest and youngest would be six years apart if we had another three year gap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835382 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 20:16:10 +0000 nana87 2835382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have an almost 3 year age gap and it’s great. I just couldn’t imagine having to divide my attention from lo1 any earlier, she was a big mama’s girl(still is!) and still needed so much. By the time lo2 was born she was much more independent and able to understand better </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835358 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 17:24:08 +0000 Kemma 2835358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My gaps are 2.5 years and 3 years and I really don’t feel like there’s much of a difference and any difference is mainly down to temperament and environment rather than age. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835351 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 16:44:20 +0000 Calibee 2835351@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mine are 27 months apart and I’m really happy with the age difference. My daughter was decently verbal when her brother was born and has pretty much been obsessed with him since he was born—and the feeling is mutual. He adores her. </p> <p>If we were to go for a third, I would shoot for the same age difference. Mostly bc I wouldn’t want a huge gap between #1 and #3. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835347 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 16:30:24 +0000 hellocupcake 2835347@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have an almost 3 year age gap between 2nd and 3rd. The first two are almost 2 years apart. I like it. The 3 years is a little bit easier as far as the first two are old enough to entertain each other while I tend to the baby (she’s almost 1 now). </p> <p>I will add, my First LO will start school this year and I’m glad we had LO3 before kindergarten started. My sister had her 3rd LO while her oldest was in kindergarten and it makes volunteering and such pretty rough. She couldn’t really leave her 3rd one (too little) for very long because he was breast feeding so she passed up opportunities for story time and field trip chaperone. Not huge deal breaker for some moms but just something to consider. Plus healing from an emergency C-section while dealing with lunches, drop offs and pick ups was another downside. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835341 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 16:14:10 +0000 SweetiePie 2835341@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I’m 99.9% sure we are done at 2.<br /> But we have a 3.5 year spread between 1 and 2. LOVE this age gap, knock on wood it’s been very easy. </p> <p>If we did it again (we do have a frozen embryo, which is the only reason I’m not saying we’re 100% done) I would only do MAX a 2 year gap. For the reason you said - to get the baby stuff over with. That’s been the hardest part for me, we were in a really sweet spot with a 3.5yo, finally felt really unrestricted and easy to travel or take longer day trips. Napping and bedtime didn’t feel as fragile. So it feels like a huge “setback” (for lack of a better word) to go back to the restrictions and logistics of an infant. I wouldn’t want to get in the sweet spot again and have to do the baby stuff all over again. I’m much more of a toddler/kid person and not much of a baby person.<br /> Age is also a slight factor as I’m in my late 30s and DH is 40. Medically it would be fine but we don’t want to be having kids well into our 40s for selfish reasons. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835325 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 14:44:30 +0000 bhbee 2835325@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ours will be 3 and 3.5 years apart (started trying at 2.5 year gap and that’s what we ended up with). I think both turned out well for us but would have been happy a bit closer too. Our third is coming in a couple weeks so this is more view so far. </p> <p>The soonest I wanted a third was when first started kinder (5.5 for us). I SAH post #2 and figured it would give me more time with the baby. In fact now she’ll be almost in 1st when baby comes in a few weeks. She is going to be such a little mommy and big helper. She grew up a lot in kinder this year and is way more into being self sufficient. My wild one is my second and I’m glad he’s going to be older for the reasons you mentioned. Also it’s awesome to have two who can use the bathroom and take care of themselves. Third pregnancy was a lot harder for me than the first two (which seems common) and having the kids be older to help more / need less (because they still need plenty!) has been great. I’m 37 now so I was going to be kinda old either way :silly: - this time has just taken way more of a toll on my body (awful pelvic pain from 20w for example), I was sick longer, etc. </p> <p>The cons for me I suppose - most people around me have them closer together so maybe fewer sibling-friend matchups. More years I won’t work, more years with less money, all that kind of stuff. I feel sure #3 will be carted around a lot to older kid stuff. But, was that stuff honestly that different at 2 vs 3? I don’t know. My older two are such good friends and I don’t know how the baby will fit in but I hope they can all be close as adults at least. </p> <p>Sorry for the rambling! I’d vote to start trying once you are comfortable with the gap it would present, as one factor in getting older is being more likely to take longer or have a loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-or-three-year-age-gap#post-2835318 Sun, 22 Jul 2018 13:45:37 +0000 LemonJack 2835318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH and I are likely trying for baby #3 at some point, and right now I’m debating on whether I want to try for a two or three year age spread. Our first two kids are three years apart and I LOVE it. Our first was definitely more challenging, and also didn’t sleep, so by three years she had calmed down a bit, was sleeping better, and was able to be more independent when her sister arrived.</p> <p>DD2 is 13 months, and the total opposite temperament wise. Super chill and easy since the beginning, and I can see it being fine with her having a younger sibling at 2. </p> <p>I was pretty set on having another three year spread for a few reasons, but I can see the advantage of just getting the pregnancy and infant years over with at this point. Plus I’m not getting any younger. Age isn’t a huge factor (I’m in my mid 30’s), but something I’m thinking about.</p> <p>So, for those of you with a two or three year spread, what did you like/not like? It’ll be especially helpful to hear from those of you with three or more children! </p>