https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 07:22:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-161662 Thu, 17 May 2012 14:49:25 +0000 Mama2Cakes 161662@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All out meltdowns usually occur when he's hungry. The hungrier he is, the worse the melt down. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-57307 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 23:16:08 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 57307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow this is so helpful! Thanks for the insight and good for you for figuring out your LO's needs/wants! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-57173 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:45:16 +0000 Andrea 57173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: oh good that he went up nicely tonight! i just had THE WORST evening with my daughter. not counting when she has been sick i suppose. i didn't even give her a bath. first time EVER. i just could not deal and it would not have been worth it. aaaaah, kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-57171 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:42:28 +0000 mrs. wagon 57171@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: that's our ONLY option usually... he won't walk and hold our hands anymore, and he rarely follows. Now after dinner any time we even approach him or reach for him, he throws a tantrum because he thinks we're trying to take him upstairs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-57169 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:41:24 +0000 mrbee 57169@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: I pick up Charlie a lot when I'm taking him places he doesn't want to go... is that an option for you guys? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-57167 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:39:36 +0000 mrs. wagon 57167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: ooh, you're lucky the bye bye thing works... RJ is the opposite! he has NEVER been clingy towards me so I can't use the threat of me leaving. Most nights we try to lure him upstairs and we are both at the top of the stairs, waiting for him to follow, and we come back down to find him happily playing with his toys all alone. Haha. </p> <p>Today was totally different. We started giving him warnings "five more minutes then we go upstairs for night night" and he was throwing tantrums every time. Finally he was playing with his kitchen and knocked a pot onto the floor, and Rob Sr. sternly said "RJ, that's too loud." Then RJ picked up a pan and THREW it on the ground, and Rob Sr. said 'RJ, that's not nice." For some reason, RJ reached for him and willingly went upstairs with him. </p> <p>Haha. kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-57155 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 19:09:09 +0000 Andrea 57155@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: thanks. problem is that my daughter seems to like NO material possessions and can't be tempted. she doesn't like to play with anything. so far, what has worked for me is to say "ok then, mommy's going to go bye bye. you tell me when you want to come out." she is really clingy to me so that usually works. i'm just waiting for the day when it doesn't work so i'm trying to strategize. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56954 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 14:50:37 +0000 tequiero21 56954@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>haha nice! thanks for the tips! love the "lollipop" idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56839 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 12:36:51 +0000 mrs. wagon 56839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: In that kind of scenario i'd say something like "You don't want to leave the crib! You love crib! No out! No out!" until he started to respond, usually these days by repeating what I'm saying with words he knew-- "no out". Then I like to move on by leading up to something he likes, or bringing him something he likes-- "after we get out of the crib, we'll change your diaper, then go downstairs for breakfast and we can PLAY! Do you want to play with your TOYS??" or, usually the best thing to work will be I'll leave one of his favorite toys outside the door and say "after we get out of the crib, you get your GUITAR! do you want your guitar??" Then usually, since he's already moved on from not wanting to get out of the crib, by the time I hand him the guitar he'll let me lift him out of the crib. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56733 Mon, 23 Jan 2012 08:35:41 +0000 Andrea 56733@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: I was thinking about your post this morning as we start every day with my LO not wanting to get out of the crib. So in that scenario would you say "I know you don't want to get out of the crib! Let's stay in the crib!" ..... and then RJ will come out? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56644 Sun, 22 Jan 2012 20:53:16 +0000 mrs. wagon 56644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coastinganon: he just turned 2. It's still working to a point... but there are a few things that we just cannot avoid a tantrum for-- naptime and bedtime mostly. But the tantrums are just normal instead of all-out epic meltdowns. I'm so tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56642 Sun, 22 Jan 2012 20:51:26 +0000 Coastinganon 56642@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How old is he? I ask because we're a the stage where stuff like this works one to three times and then never again. Ours is 2yrs 6months. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56510 Sun, 22 Jan 2012 13:42:25 +0000 mrs. wagon 56510@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ktdid23: I read through it so many times and didn't really like it and didn't think it could really work, but it's really working well for us! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56226 Sat, 21 Jan 2012 13:05:04 +0000 chopsuey 56226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Haha nice! Will remember this for when my Lo becomes a tantrum throwing toddler! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56211 Sat, 21 Jan 2012 12:01:38 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 56211@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The lollipop trick is so clever. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-56192 Sat, 21 Jan 2012 11:17:48 +0000 ktdid23 56192@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We've just started a major tantrum phase in our house and was on the verge of ordering Happiest Toddler on the Block.... think I'll order it today! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-55383 Thu, 19 Jan 2012 13:22:39 +0000 banana 55383@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've always wanted to try the "toddler-ese" method and I"m so glad to hear that it worked for your LO! I'm definitely gonna try all of your methods cause my son is going through a super tantrumy phase. Ay yay yay. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-55304 Thu, 19 Jan 2012 12:16:06 +0000 mrbee 55304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tina: Awesome!!</p> <p>Charlie loves having his feelings acknowledged... but I don't know if it helps him get over a tantrum. Will have to try it out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-toddler-revelations#post-55279 Thu, 19 Jan 2012 11:47:07 +0000 mrs. wagon 55279@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I originally posted this on my blog, which is why it's so long, but I thought I'd post it here too!!</p> <p>So I haven't been posting much lately because I've been so physically and mentally exhausted. I had a pretty bad mommy breakdown the other day because RJ screamed through the entire bedtime routine. I just couldn't believe I was trying so hard and failing so miserably. </p> <p>So after the meltdown (his AND mine) Rob Sr. and I started hardcore on the toddler research and decided to try a bunch of strategies to deal with his tantrums. He was completely unresponsive to being given choices or getting to do things by himself instead of us forcing him to do them. But when we started acknowledging his emotions, he finally started to respond! </p> <p>For instance, we wanted him to put on his shirt and he didn't want to. When we offered him a choice between two shirts, he pushed them both away and wailed-- he didn't care which shirt, he just didn't want a shirt. When we challenged him to put the shirt on by himself, he turned away and wailed-- again, he just did not want a shirt on! Finally, I said "RJ! You don't WANT your shirt! You don't like shirts! Shirts are yucky!" He started to calm down, and I continued: "You don't WANT a shirt! No shirt! No shirt!" He started to soften and he let me put his shirt on as I continued: "I know you don't LIKE your shirt, you don't want it, but we need to put a shirt on if we want to go downstairs and play! Do you want to go downstairs and play?" </p> <p>So, after all that, we're realizing that RJ just wants us to acknowledge his emotions. I think that most of his tantrum comes from the frustration that we don't understand how he feels, and possibly that we just don't care how he feels, we're just forcing him to do whatever WE want him to do. So when we acknowledge and identify his emotions, I think he starts to trust that we DO know how he feels, and more importantly, that we CARE how he feels. So far this has been able to calm him down enough to at least move on to the next step. </p> <p>Just two days ago, I dreaded spending time with him because I knew exactly which tantrums were coming, and when. And they were getting worse and worse. But now that we've been implementing this strategy (it's a modified version of the "Happiest Toddler on the Block" toddler-ese and fast-food-rule strategies-- the only thing we DON'T do is yell and stamp when he's mad because it scares him) I actually look forward to seeing him because I'm hoping to try the strategy again and see if it works. </p> <p>Oh, and the other strategy we've been using is that when he's whining for something that we won't give him and he continues to whine, we walk away from him and ignore him. We identify his emotions, we explain to him why he can't have what he wants, and if he's still throwing a fit, we walk away. The one time we've tried this so far he calmed down and accepted our compromise (he wanted to watch Snoopy downstairs, so we left him wailing down there and turned on Snoopy upstairs... after he calmed down we brought him up and he very happily watched Snoopy upstairs). Fingers crossed that this ignore tactic continues to work. We figure this is what happens at school-- no way the teachers can accommodate all the wants of all the kids all the time, so the kids probably just deal with not getting what they want a lot better than at home when two parents are giving them whatever they want.</p> <p>The other revelation is concerning lollipops-- he's been asking for them, so we cut a drink stirrer in half and stuck a fruit snack on the end, and that's our lollipop! We only give it to him if he's pooped in the potty, he finishes it quickly, and it's less total sugar than an actual lollipop. And less stickiness. Win! </p>