https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 10:59:56 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-wrongs-dont-make-a-rightbut#post-2709991 Tue, 14 Mar 2017 08:38:46 +0000 bookwormmama 2709991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Would you be willing to ignore some of it? I don't know how bad the physical stuff gets between them, and if your DD2 is biting I would definitely step in on that, but maybe if your older DD sees that she needs to deal with some of the consequences of her actions she will stop on her own. She might also be causing issues to get your attention and it's working since her sister gets punished and she gets special attention from you.</p> <p>I also like the ideas of separating them or punishing them both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-wrongs-dont-make-a-rightbut#post-2709953 Tue, 14 Mar 2017 07:51:57 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2709953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We basically have told our 5 year old that if they fight again we are separating them. She's bigger and she starts it and she can stop. She wants to play with him (age 2) so usually its incentive enough for her to try to keep him happy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-wrongs-dont-make-a-rightbut#post-2709912 Tue, 14 Mar 2017 02:41:19 +0000 JCCovi 2709912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This isn't the exact problem we have. My daughter, 3.5, is always telling my son, 2, to do things that are off limits and will definitely get him in trouble. I've told her that if she encourages bad behavior and K is naughty, she'll get the punishment because she's the big sister and knows better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-wrongs-dont-make-a-rightbut#post-2709910 Tue, 14 Mar 2017 00:50:49 +0000 MsMini 2709910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I might be mean, but if I know DS does something to provoke DD and she wails on him I send them both to the corner together. No one gets their ouchies taken care of when they were both at fault. Once the (inevitable) "I don't want to be in the corner" hysterics are over we talk about what happened and I make them apologize/hug it out, but I really emphasize that I know they are equal responsible parties and they WILL be punished together. To me purposefully irritating his little sister is just as bad as the physical stuff. No psychological toddler warfare in my house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-wrongs-dont-make-a-rightbut#post-2709884 Mon, 13 Mar 2017 21:17:27 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2709884@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@PinkElephant: have you talked to DD1 about this? After they've separated &amp; you've made sure DD1 is physically okay, you could talk to her about what happened. Let her explain her perception of how it all went down. If she doesn't bring it up, ask her why she thinks DD2 hurt her. If she can make the connection between her behavior and her sisters reaction it'll be a stronger lesson. After that, you could also have her think about why SHE is bugging her sister so much. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/two-wrongs-dont-make-a-rightbut#post-2709640 Mon, 13 Mar 2017 14:20:02 +0000 PinkElephant 2709640@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>How do/would you handle this situation?</p> <p>DD1 (nearly 5) and DD2 (nearly 3) can really get at each other sometimes. DD2 is definitely rougher/more violent (she scratches, pulls hair, and sometimes bites, even though she's been reprimanded strongly for this). The bulk of the scolding/discipline used to fall on her, until I realized she is ALWAYS provoked by her older sister - DD1 will take things, call names, or just be whining/complaining excessively, and DD2 reacts. I think DD1 actually enjoys the reaction, until she gets hurt. Then she screams and cries (which provokes or motivates DD2 further).</p> <p>Obviously they're both wrong. But how do you handle discipline for this situation? Obviously DD2 needs to deal with her emotions less aggressively...and while I do feel badly for DD1, I think she DOES need to learn that she brings some of this on herself with her own behavior - she is choosing to provoke her sister.</p> <p>Any tips? It's equal parts heartbreaking and enraging to have this happening on a too-regular basis recently... </p>