https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 09:32:54 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2633076 Thu, 06 Oct 2016 14:29:22 +0000 Mama Bird 2633076@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's how my son treats DH :bummed: DH thought the solution is to force him to listen when he's refusing to do certain routines with him, but we've both realized that's not a good idea and only makes our life harder. But every opportunity we get, we offer that DH would do something (read to him, help him with dinner, etc) and if DS doesn't flip out, I get out of the way and let them do stuff together. </p> <p>I really don't know if it's going to help in the long term, but I hope so. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632989 Thu, 06 Oct 2016 13:02:53 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2632989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I should also say that mixing up our routine every night has helped too. We take turns giving the kids baths at night, and one puts the baby to bed while the other reads to the older one. We switch every night...no exceptions unless one parent isn't home. THAT has helped the most. There was a point where LO2 was so attached to me that daddy couldn't do anything, and the opposite was for LO1. We started the switching, and it was painful at first, but they eventually got used to it.</p> <p>When a child is used to one parent doing everything, and the other parent tries to disrupt that schedule, that's when things get tricky. Switching it up so that you take turns with those things (even just getting the baby from the crib) helps so much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632977 Thu, 06 Oct 2016 12:57:11 +0000 2PeasinaPod 2632977@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm in a similar situation right now with my LOs and DH. Both boys prefer DH over me because I've been away for work recently. My youngest used to prefer me, but now that he's had time with DH, he always wants to be held by him.</p> <p>It does hurt sometimes, but you have to keep that inward and speak calmly to him when his outburst occur. Validating him, but also letting him know that he's hurting your feelings has worked really well for me with my older son. I let him know that I understand he's upset that daddy left and he really wanted to see him, but it hurts mommy's feelings that he doesn't enjoy his time with me. I tell him how much I love spending time with him and we have to take turns, like sharing. It doesn't always work, but sometimes it does. The calmer I am in dealing with the situation, the more responsive he is about it and comes around sooner. He's starting to be a little nicer about it...being more sad than throwing a fit...and it's making things easier for us. </p> <p>Lots of hugs, as I know it's really hard not being the favorite parent...especially when you're mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632969 Thu, 06 Oct 2016 12:50:15 +0000 codeitall 2632969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone. It is so reassuring that I'm not the only one dealing with this. We still had a little rough morning today, but things are looking up and just having some ideas of things to do makes it easier to cope for the time being.</p> <p>@youboots: You're right! I listened to that episode 3 times. Now I feel like I might have a better handle on why DS is acting this way and how I should be reacting. Not sure if I'll feel like the 'safe parent' he can express his unhappy feelings with the next time it happens... but at least I'll have a couple new approaches to try!</p> <p>@mrbee: I can't believe I didn't find that post earlier! I love your ideas and I'm so glad they worked for you! I've only got so many months till baby comes, so I've got some routine revision to do and a couple unique mom traditions to think up :happy: </p> <p>@oskarsmommy: I hope it only takes us 3 nights. DH usually does most of the nighttime routine, but I could start reading books too. Something that is easy to transition between parents, I love that idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632621 Thu, 06 Oct 2016 07:45:15 +0000 MOMTOLITTLEB 2632621@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son treats my husband like a home intruder sometimes when he comes in his room. Just screams and yells like crazy. Other times they are best buds so they do get bonding time but I think it sometimes hurts Dad's feelings. It makes me overwhelmed sometimes when I can't get a break, especially when he's worked up he's even more tiring. I'm pregnant so sometimes I don't feel good or he wants to be picked up and I can't do it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632563 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 23:27:36 +0000 oskarsmommy 2632563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son expects me to do everything (like he freaks when his dad brings him water 1 of the 6 times he demands it while falling asleep) and I really don't like it. He will also throw fits the mornings I work out and his dad is the one to get him out of his crib, instead of me. </p> <p>I really in my heart think this is about routine and predictability. I started pushing through in a few things (can daddy at least read you one book before bed?!) and in 3 days time he adjusted. I now have my husband doing the whole night time routine some nights.. Hallelujah! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632552 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 21:43:33 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2632552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh this was my oldest. It was a very rough year or two for us because she did this. We actually went to a psychologist because we didn't know what the hell to do in that situation (among other ones). Eventually it went away, but we had to be consistent and let her know that she may not like me at the time, but she still had to do what I asked (or I would do it). I had to take the emotion out of it... which was really, really hard. </p> <p>HUGS!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632520 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 20:02:40 +0000 mrbee 2632520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I got this reaction from my son for a while. It was brutal, especially since I also took it really personally! Eventually I was able to be less emotional about it, and that's when I was finally able to reverse the preference. This is what worked for me!<br /> <a href="http://www.hellobee.com/2011/12/27/three-ways-to-counter-a-toddlers-mommy-preference/" rel="nofollow">http://www.hellobee.com/2011/12/27/three-ways-to-counter-a-toddlers-mommy-preference/</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632502 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 19:03:53 +0000 mrs.shinerbock 2632502@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO1 did this around 26 months when LO2 was born. I had to do EVERYTHING if I was home. If I wasn't around she was just fine with DH. It lasted 5-6 months and now she still usually prefers me, but is ok with DH unless she is sick or super tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632501 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 19:03:12 +0000 youboots 2632501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unruffled the podcast has a good episode on this. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632499 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 19:00:13 +0000 catgirl 2632499@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD is 22 months and has a total preference for DH. If he is not home DD is fine but the second he walks through the door she won't let me do anything without a fight. For the most part we are just trying to ride it out. If we are both home and free I don't see the point in battling over it. I'm not sure what we'll do if it becomes an issue even when DH isn't home... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632479 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 18:27:30 +0000 BabyTsMom 2632479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no advice but we're in a similar boat except I am the preferred one. If I'm around, there is no way that DH is getting near LO. I feel so bad for my DH, because he tries to engage LO or even get a hug from him and if I'm around, LO will cry and run to me. This started around 20 months or so, and LO is almost 2.5. I hope this is just a phase for both of our LOs! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-hysterical-parent-rejection#post-2632464 Wed, 05 Oct 2016 18:03:34 +0000 codeitall 2632464@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So this morning did not go well. For the past few weeks, DS has been having hysterical overnight fits if he sees me in his room instead of DH. As in a writhing shrieking demon has replaced my almost 2 year old. Get DH in there instead and he calms right down. Fine, whatever, DH just gets all the overnight wake ups.</p> <p>This morning, DH left for class while DS and I were snuggling in bed as our daily routine before we get ready to go. Instantly I had a kicking child who refused to see me, touch me and shrieked bloody murder. And because I'm hormonal/pregnant, I managed 15 minutes before shouting back that I knew he loved DH more than me and broke down in tears myself. Definitely not the best morning for us.</p> <p>Eventually we both calmed down and when he could look at me again I hugged him and apologized.</p> <p>But it still really hurts. Is this normal behavior? Is there something I can do to prevent/curtail the hysterics? Any tips for keeping myself from going over the edge too? </p>