https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 18:20:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-110487 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 15:56:53 +0000 MaisyMay 110487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: My in-laws say absolutely nothing about grandbabies since we had our miscarriage. They were really chill about it all before hand, but since August, they don't mention babies at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-110406 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 14:47:21 +0000 Adira 110406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Jennimac: OMG, I'm so sorry you had to go through that! I really hope your family doesn't make those kinds of comments to you, but you never know. People who haven't been through something like that generally don't understand. I know I don't, which is why my comments to be "I'm so sorry!" because I honestly don't know what else to say. I hope it goes okay for you... at least you're prepared for the kinds of comments you might receive. Let us know how it goes. *hug* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-110378 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 14:36:36 +0000 singingbee 110378@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: ((HUGS)) I'm so sorry! We went through this when we were trying. We were the 'first couple' to get married, then Hubby's cousin followed 6 months later. Well, everyone kept waiting for us to announce that we were pregnant. We didn't really start trying until we were married for 9 months. Well, in that time the cousins announced they were pregnant. Well, we followed 3 months later. Everyone was so happy and kept talking about the babies. </p> <p>Well, we miscarried at 20 weeks. Now, everyone just doesn't know what to say. I will see them this weekend and I know the whole conversation will be about 'when can we try again', 'are we trying again', 'it's ok that this happened--we are young and can try again', 'you guys are strong--this is why it happened to you, others wouldn't be able to handle it.' </p> <p>It makes me so tired having to deal with them sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109928 Tue, 03 Apr 2012 07:24:00 +0000 Adira 109928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: haha, yeah, I may have to! We've only been trying for three cycles, so I don't feel like it's been long enough for me to snap at them yet, haha, but I probably will eventually if we're still not pregnant after a while.</p> <p>@miss-spunkin: Yes! Share it! :)</p> <p>@artbee: So glad to hear about your friend!! I'm sure she appreciated you not asking about it while she was trying. :) And thanks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109734 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:28:08 +0000 heffalump 109734@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So so sorry! My friend had to deal with the same thing. She tried for 2 years and everyone around her kept having babies. She was married for 6 years so of course everyone kept asking her. I didn't know at first, but I never asked because I didn't like when people asked me, especially after my miscarriage. And I had s feeling something was wrong because she'd occasionally snap at people .... but now she's pregnant finally!</p> <p>Hope you get your bfp next month. And hope your family stops bugging you! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109728 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:12:20 +0000 Mrs. Pen 109728@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah it is hard, I felt guilty for being able to get pregnant so easily. I wish there was a way to "share" my fertility, y'know? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109727 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 19:11:54 +0000 mediagirl 109727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Honestly, I would just let them know that you are trying to have babies and it's not as easy as everyone thinks. Sometimes people just need to be put in their place no matter who they are. I would probably say something like, "Well, we're trying. We've been trying for x months now. The comments about us getting on the baby train certainly don't help my stress level with the fact that we haven't made one yet!!!!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109714 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:55:02 +0000 Adira 109714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: haha, I know what you mean! My DH let it slip to his mother last year that we might start trying this year, so now I feel like there's even more pressure. I tried to convince her that it was more a "maybe" than anything else, but I definitely do feel the pressure to get a BFP just to shut them up. I'm trying not to think like that though!</p> <p>@justdarling: Oh! You're so lucky you were able to have that conversation with you mom and have her pass it along! I actually had a similar (although not exact) conversation with my sister-in-law. When she got pregnant, she mentioned that my MIL and her were talking about when DH and I would be next. I told her that I didn't feel comfortable talking about it and that I really didn't want to tell anyone our plans in case it took us a while to conceive. I THOUGHT she would pass it along to her family so they'd SHUT UP, but either she didn't, or they don't care! Not sure which, but the conversation didn't work, haha!</p> <p>@miss-spunkin: Oh my gosh, that's so horrible! I'm so sorry for your SIL! I can't even imagine how horrible that must feel. I hope she's told her close friends and family so they don't ask her about it, but it must be horrible if anyone else does! Guess I don't have it that bad...</p> <p>@mrskc: Wow! I'm soooooo sorry you had to go through that! Having people ask you about it while you're going through something like that must've been just awful! I'm impressed you were able to keep it together. I'm also doing the "some day" with my in-laws, haha. That and "Maybe after &lt;insert some vacation we want to take but haven't started planning&gt;." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109709 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 18:49:06 +0000 Rubies 109709@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Luckily my family is sensitive about things like this so no one asked me. But my friends! Sheesh, EVERYONE would ask and it would be so obnoxious. It irritated me that I would be sarcastic and says, "It'll happen when it does." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109666 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 17:20:16 +0000 mrskc 109666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I totally understand where you're coming from. I try to remind myself that they're coming from a good place and they're not meaning to be hurtful. The worst that happened to me was when I was at a baby shower going through a miscarriage (literally bleeding from my MC) and one of my friends asked when I was going to have kids. It was awful. I tried my best to smile and say, "some day" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109636 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:45:50 +0000 Mrs. Pen 109636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's awful I'm so sorry..</p> <p>I told someone when I started trying and she started asking mr every week if I was pregnant, it was sooo irritating. Never doing that again.</p> <p>My SIL just found out last year that she can't conceive, and if she did, she wouldn't carry the baby to term. She's been married to my brother for over 5 years and people ask ME when they're going to have kids. It's awful and I can't even imagine how much more awful it is for them </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109633 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:44:11 +0000 justdarling 109633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have the same problem, but it is my family. My brother at Christmas told me that I needed to give my husband a son....yeah, if it were only that simple. What helped for us was that I just had a very candid conversation with my mom. I told her that we are trying, but that this isn't as easy as we thought it would be and that I would appreciate them letting up on the pressure. I told her that we would update them if there was any news to share, but until then they all need to respect our privacy. She has passed this message on to the rest of the family. Since then, no one has said anything to us.<br /> Maybe have your husband talk to his family - if you are comfortable with it. That might help ease the pressure a little bit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109616 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:31:10 +0000 banana 109616@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@adira: I didn't tell my in-laws we were trying either for the same reason....that they might bring it up even more! I just smiled and ignored them and would be really really vague with my answers. I think it bothered them that I was being so vague about it. hehehe. I guess in my own way, it was fun torturing them with my vagueness. </p> <p>For me, it got to a point where I just wanted to get pregnant so that I can just shut them up. And that was a horrible and senseless reason to want a BFP. And it quickly snapped me back to reality. Creating this baby is about you and your DH and when the time comes, it will be perfect for both of YOU, nobody else. That's all that matters. Everyone else can just hurry up and wait. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109588 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 16:01:27 +0000 Adira 109588@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: YES! Oh my gosh, you are SPOT ON! I'm so sorry you had to deal with the same stuff! AND have an ectopic pregnancy! I'm so sorry! At least it shut her up though, I guess that's something.</p> <p>Part of me wants to tell them "Oh we're trying" to get them to shut up, but I suspect it would just make them ask EVEN more! "Are you pregnant yet?" "What about now?" "Now??" which would just totally drive me crazy. And part of me is really afraid that when I am pregnant, I'll have a miscarriage, and I really don't want to have to talk to them about that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109570 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:31:00 +0000 banana 109570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>YES! I used to get that all the time from my in laws (mainly MIL). But she would do it in a subtle way which was also very annoying. At that point, I'd rather have had her come out and just ask me "When are you gonna have a baby?" She would say things like "Oh, I heard so and so is pregnant. How excited her mother must be.". UGH! Welllllll, we got pregnant and then I ended up having an ectopic pregnancy which required surgery to remove part of my left tube. That shut her QUICK. She never mentioned anything about baby making after that.</p> <p>But I feel ya! It's not like their constant badgering is going to make you get pregnant any faster. If anything, it'll make you more stressed out and maybe make it even worse! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109562 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:27:42 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 109562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@adira omgosh that would be hilarious! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109558 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:25:47 +0000 Adira 109558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Leialou: Oh wow, I'm sorry your BIL did that to you! And what horrible timing!! It's definitely hard to just put on a smile and pretend everything's honky-dory when it's not.</p> <p>The thing is, I don't understand why his family keeps doing this to me. His mom has been asking me for YEARS when we're going to start popping out babies (even before we were MARRIED), and the rest of his family has started bugging us too when they found out SIL was pregnant. I always give people the silent treatment... you'd think they'd get the hint??? Maybe I'm being too subtle?</p> <p>I was telling one of my friends that I was thinking next time his family asks me, I'm going to say something like "Well, if we didn't have to be at this family event, we'd be having sex right now, so you only have yourself to blame." I doubt I'd have the guts to say it though, haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109545 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:12:39 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 109545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>*sigh* our families ask a lot. Not to long ago my bil asked us to put us on the spot because he was getting too much negative attention. It was right after we found out about our infertility issues. Having to be nonchalant about it is so difficult when you want something so bad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109539 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:10:28 +0000 BSB 109539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, I would be so annoyed if my in-laws asked me these questions. Luckily, they don't. Sorry. Hugs! We all know you are trying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109536 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:08:42 +0000 LuLu Mom 109536@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think people don't realize how their comments meant to be lighthearted can actually be hurtful. We had a little of this but luckily not when we were actually TTC. I do know that my DH's cousin had issues, and people asked her all the time. She would get very upset about it, and especially when others around her became pregnant before her. Try to not let them bother you, just know they are excited for you to have your moment! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ugh-in-laws-are-annoying#post-109533 Mon, 02 Apr 2012 15:05:13 +0000 Adira 109533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So as some of you know, I was in the early-April POAS group, but my temps dropped and I started spotting on Saturday, so I knew I was out.</p> <p>ALSO on Saturday, I went to my sister-in-law's baby shower and it SUCKED. My husband's family kept coming up to me (ME!!! Not even DH, who's actually FAMILY to them) and badgering me about when WE were going to have kids. They kept saying stuff like "Your shower will be next!" and "When are you guys going to do this?" and "You two need to get to it!"</p> <p>It's bad enough when you're trying and failing every month to get pregnant, but to have family (your in-laws no less) badger you about it just makes it worse! I was already bumming about how this last cycle didn't work, and then I had to go sit through DH's sister opening up baby items and his family bugging me about making babies! I'm TRYING!!!!</p> <p>I just had to rant about this. Has anyone else had to deal with in-laws (or any family really) bugging them about making babies? </p>