https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 07:40:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792390 Mon, 18 Dec 2017 00:03:58 +0000 agold 2792390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@QBbride: it absolutely wasn’t done maliciously. It’s just another one of a few things she has done that I felt were not quite appropriate, even if we’ll meaning. </p> <p>@DesertDreams88: I really love hearing your dissenting opinion. One of my own close friends had no issue with it at all when I asked for her thoughts. I think that the ultrasound picture is personal, though, with all my personal info on there (albeit small). She also announced the due date (one day off). I just wouldn’t have put any of that on my own card. I didn’t mention anything about new baby on my own card at all. I was just a little shocked. I’m generally not confrontational, either, and not easily upset. </p> <p>Update; my response was to just not hang up her card. She came over to babysit and asked me if I had not received her card when we got home the end of the night. I quickly imagined saying, “well the truth is....” but I just couldn’t do it. So I simply said “oops, it was the first one I received and I put it someplace else and forgot to hang it up”. Left it at that. I’m moving on. But adamant that no pictures get sent to her unless I’m okay if she shares it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792290 Sun, 17 Dec 2017 07:53:13 +0000 babypugs 2792290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I totally agree, it wouldn't bother me personally at all. She's excited and wants others to share her joy. </p> <p>However, it doesn't matter how I feel, but how YOU feel--and it's her job as your MIL to be able to gauge how you'd feel about issues like this (or at least ask!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792285 Sun, 17 Dec 2017 01:53:19 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2792285@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I was happy to read your dissent, if you will, because it’s important to hear all perspectives. The MIL may be on the same page as you, but to me in matters of her grandkids it’s important that she is on the same page as her son and DIL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792283 Sun, 17 Dec 2017 01:20:22 +0000 Purpledaisy 2792283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DesertDreams88: I agree with everything you said!</p> <p>I'm surprised so many people would have such a problem with this. I feel like the grandma really did not mean anything by this and was just excited to include the new grandbaby. </p> <p>I'm not saying that I don't feel that you're entitled to your opinion and feelings, just trying to offer a different perspective. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792273 Sat, 16 Dec 2017 21:42:19 +0000 DesertDreams88 2792273@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not that my opinion really matters because it's contradictory to everyone self-reinforcing here, but, I wouldn't be upset at all. I like my babies to be treated as babies and celebrated as such, even when in utero. I love ultrasound pics and think science is so cool, I don't mind sharing USs shots at all. Lastly, I don't care about loved ones posting LOs pics, as long as they're not posting a ton of identifying information.... Most people I know in the real world take, post, and/or share photos of other kids without an issue.... I only know of it being an issue here on HB.</p> <p>however, I do draw the line at someone else announcing the birth or name before mom/dad, and definitely no ILs at the hospital! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792262 Sat, 16 Dec 2017 18:09:30 +0000 QBbride 2792262@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I bet it wasn’t done maliciously but yeah I would be upset. When we did our Christmas cards when I was pregnant, I never mentioned anything about being pregnant (granted I was quite early but close family knew). Anyways yeah I would be upset for sure but I’m quite non-confrontational so I don’t know if I would say anything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792249 Sat, 16 Dec 2017 15:28:20 +0000 agold 2792249@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Bluemasonjar: She's coming tonight to baby sit. I'll post an update as soon as I can. I'm pretty positive she won't say anything. And if that's the case, I won't say anything either. Although I do have my own christmas card up on the top of this little christmas card holder (is that normal - to put up my own card??) and I didn't mention anything about unborn baby #2. So she will for sure notice that. (I just sent out my own cards today so she won't have seen it yet.... working mom fail.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792248 Sat, 16 Dec 2017 15:23:59 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2792248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with not displaying her card. It would just make me more upset to have to see it every day. Interested to hear if she noticed and said anything? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792199 Sat, 16 Dec 2017 01:21:30 +0000 agold 2792199@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms.Mermaid: This made me laugh out loud. Can you come over and say it for me? :silly: </p> <p>@gotkimchi: Yep, that's what I'm thinking. I will have to explain it. So maybe that's why I won't hang it up so that it gives me an opportunity to say something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792175 Fri, 15 Dec 2017 20:06:37 +0000 Ms.Mermaid 2792175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh if she is coming to babysit tomorrow I would for sure say something like, "what the f*** made you think you could share this?" I'm not saying that's the right approach, but I have little self control when I'm enraged and I would be furious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792168 Fri, 15 Dec 2017 19:34:50 +0000 gotkimchi 2792168@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I say don’t hang it up if you hate. But be prepared to explain when she asks </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2792166 Fri, 15 Dec 2017 19:30:37 +0000 agold 2792166@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: @Alba4: @youboots: @Bluemasonjar: @catlady: I'm just tagging some of you girls because you commented last.... </p> <p>Do you think it would be too passive aggressive of me to NOT hang up my MIL's christmas card on the little card holder I have hanging on my wall? MIL is coming to babysit tomorrow and I haven't put her card up because I hate it. I'm sure she will notice I haven't put it up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790787 Fri, 08 Dec 2017 05:55:36 +0000 Alba4 2790787@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think your mil is totally out of line. Besides not asking permission from you, who wants their uterus pic sent to family and friends? It’s wonderful that she is so excited, but in the future you need to be very clear with her and set limits. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790773 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 20:42:12 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2790773@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Photos in the future I would put a bunch of filters and stickers on them to deter from sharing </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790767 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 19:06:21 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2790767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I would be very upset and angry. She’s overstepping her boundaries for sure. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790765 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 18:58:06 +0000 youboots 2790765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would be livid. </p> <p>I’m annoyed she uses crappy cell phone photos of DD instead of our dozens of great ones (I’m a photographer). I also don’t like that she does not ask, but whatever. An ultrasound photo is straight up invasive. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790750 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 16:34:16 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2790750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If anyone asked us, we would say no.<br /> Therefore, I am certain that if any photo of us or DS was used on someone else's holiday card, my husband or I would be on the phone with them IMMEDIATELY, and we would be livid. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790743 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 16:13:06 +0000 Bluemasonjar 2790743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are handling this very well! It was totally out of bounds to use the ultrasound photo without asking and you should definitely address it.</p> <p>I think it makes me extra ragey since I can relate to the lack of boundaries but in my case it is my step mom. We announced to our families at Christmas with cute frames and an ultrasound photo and told them we were not ready to make the news public. My step mom immediately asked to take a photo to post on her Facebook like she didn't even hear me so I had to reiterate our wishes. Then when DS was born I see that she posted about his birth before I was able to even get back to my room from recovery. Since then I do not send her photos directly (my Dad will share sometimes) and when she is around my son I monitor her social media, untag myself in posts and remind her of our preferences when it comes to sharing our son's life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790741 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 16:04:52 +0000 Littlebit7 2790741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There must be something in the water that crazy MILs are drinking. Between this thread, the "please send me Amazon gift cards aka cash" thread, and the thread regarding the MIL praying the child will be "normal".....i mean WTF.<br /> These MILs are wackadoos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790736 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 15:57:31 +0000 alphagam84 2790736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: You are SO NOT overreacting, that is weird and creepy to put on a card in general and for a grandma to do it without permission? Come on! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790731 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 15:38:33 +0000 catlady 2790731@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I would 100% not share any more photos with her because it will just continue. And I would definitely try to have a conversation about your privacy if you can bear it.</p> <p>My SIL used to post photos of our LO1 on FB without our permission. We had to explicitly ask her to stop. She did, but clearly thought we were nuts. All was good for a couple years until LO2 was born. SIL immediately texted me for a photo of him and when I didn't respond right away (because he had been born like an hour before), she managed to get one from MIL who visited us in the hospital. She shared it on facebook and announced my LO2's birth a full day before I did. Plus it was my full family, including me in a hospital gown that was partially falling off. Her FB is completely public (unlike mine). I am still mad about this and it was a full year ago now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790727 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 15:29:07 +0000 skiierchck99 2790727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: would be enraged and it would not matter if it was my MIL or my own mother who did it. At least I would if it was done without asking...and I would say no if asked. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790726 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 15:28:29 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2790726@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can see she was trying to be inclusive, but she’s still wrong. A simple, “I’d like to feature all my grandkids on the Christmas card, what do you think we should do for still baking Baby?” And then you all decide what to do if anything at all. Putting an ultrasound photo looks totally weird on here and it’s not her photo to share. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790724 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 15:14:06 +0000 snowjewelz 2790724@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For my own emotions I guess it's a little better that it's not the sole picture and not huge, BUT the principle of it still. So still would be upset! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790699 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 14:26:12 +0000 gotkimchi 2790699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: ok it’s not as bad as I thought because it’s sort of like a grandkids card but I still would have a major issue with this. I feel like all photos being used by someone other then mom and dad need to be approved! In summary, congrats on the baby, Mil are the worst! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790698 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 14:23:53 +0000 avivoca 2790698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: Nope. Not overreacting. What an overstep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790695 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 14:21:33 +0000 agold 2790695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@avivoca: I would be upset with the name-sharing also!! I would have done exactly as you had done. And if my MIL posted this ultrasound on her facebook or whatever, I would absolutely call immediately and ask her to take it down. But nothing can be done about the massive amount of Christmas cards she's already sent out. I should make my husband call her about it. But really, I will address it myself with her when I feel like the time is right. Also, when my husband told her I was having contractions when I was pregnant with my daughter, and we were going to go to the hospital just to be checked out.... when we took the elevator up to the 7th floor of the hospital and the elevator doors opened, MIL was standing right there to greet us with like 2 overnight bags packed for herself. :shocked: Yea... things will be handled a lot differently when I go into labor with this next one. Boundaries clearly are an unknown to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790693 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 14:15:30 +0000 agold 2790693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <br /><p><i>This comment has been deleted by the original poster.</i></p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790692 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 14:15:00 +0000 MaryM 2790692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: Actually, I agree with some others and I'd have DH bring it up. I think things usually go better if I have him deal with his family and I deal with mine </p> <p>(of course I probably feel that way because mine isn't crazy! lol) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/ultrasound-on-mils-christmas-card/page/2#post-2790691 Thu, 07 Dec 2017 14:12:56 +0000 avivoca 2790691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I would be FURIOUS and make DH call his mom and bitch about it.</p> <p>Not the same, but my SIL shared DD1's name on social media before she was born AND she spelled it wrong. I called him and made him call her to take it down. And when she didn't do it fast enough, I messaged her on FB and told her that we weren't sharing the name before she was born and she needed to take it down right this minute.</p> <p>I may have been a little dramatic. But even now, four years later, she asks before she posts anything. She didn't mean any harm but she now respects me as mama bear when it comes to my girls. </p>