https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 03:07:19 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700922 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 20:06:13 +0000 cyan 1700922@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: You are seriously amazing for keeping your cool during that conversation. I would have lost it. </p> <p>If my husband has the day off and I am working, then he is 100% expected to take care of LO. If he chooses to send her to daycare, then he had better be working on something around the house! </p> <p>I don't think the 10-hour workday is really a very good excuse... you are still "working" to take care of your family's needs. I would definitely restart this conversation next week. Best of luck for a quick resolution! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700747 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 16:50:04 +0000 Kimberlybee 1700747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're being so wise to keep your cool since tomorrow is Father's Day. Just remember "it's not what you say, it's how you say it." I would say "you're doing such a good job at this, this, and this, can you add this _______ to the list on your off days. Thanks you're the best." Or something like that. Use the sandwich method "positive, negative, and close it out with a positive or praise."</p> <p>Don't let it keep going unbalanced, it will just overwhelm you more in the long run. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700710 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 15:35:23 +0000 wonderstruck 1700710@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, he needs to suck it up - my DH works SIX 10 hour days a week, and he still mows the lawn and does stuff around the house on his one day off! I agree that everyone needs some relax time (heck, sometimes I tell mine to chill and take a day where he's not doing chores) but him just deeming every Friday as his relax day when you don't have a day like that isn't fair at all. Everything doesn't have to be perfectly even all of the time, but it doesn't sound like he's being very considerate.</p> <p>I agree that right now isn't the time to discuss it, but in a few days when you're both calmer I would bring it up again and just be careful with your words since once you're both on the defense not much will get accomplished - but I would definitely want to talk about it before next Friday. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700696 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 15:08:33 +0000 Applesandbananas 1700696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Could you compromise and have every other week be a relax day for him? And maybe on those weeks, he does a little extra on Saturday and Sunday (maybe he watches LO for a few hours so you can get a mani-pedi or something?)</p> <p>I think we're all better parents when we have a little time to ourselves but that should definitely go both ways! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700695 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 15:06:09 +0000 Corduroy 1700695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: he watched LO on his day off before we moved. He did not find it relaxing at all which is why he proposed sending LO to daycare and doing errands and housework instead. He sold me on the idea (since we had to pay for daycare anyway) which is why I'm so pissed he's not doing his part of the bargain. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700690 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 14:57:07 +0000 MamaMoose 1700690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Corduroy: since your hubs thinks your "relax time" is when you are home with LO I would suggest to him that he keep LO home with him during his relax time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700676 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 14:41:37 +0000 hotchildinthecity 1700676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah that's bullshit. I work ten hour days all the time and i work five days a week. He doesnt deserve some sort of vacation for working a regular schedule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700629 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 13:55:57 +0000 Corduroy 1700629@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Dandelion: Apparently my free time is the extra hour that I'm home on the weekdays. The hour that I use to feed LO and make our dinner. It's such a luxurious time for me. </p> <p>And I realize I have it so much better than most people so I do feel bad posting here. DH does pitch in and I appreciate the help that he provides. Just really pissed about him forgetting our deal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700627 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 13:55:17 +0000 Smurfette 1700627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah that wouldn't fly with me. When is your free day? His extra 2 hours on the same day you work doesn't equal and extra day off. You both work the same amount. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700625 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 13:53:30 +0000 swedishfish 1700625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not cool! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700620 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 13:48:03 +0000 loveisstrange 1700620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh hell no Tell him he has to take her one day a weekend so you get a "free" day then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700615 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 13:36:57 +0000 Dandelion 1700615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When is your free day? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unbalanced#post-1700612 Sat, 14 Jun 2014 13:35:00 +0000 Corduroy 1700612@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH works four ten hour days per week. I work five 8-5 days. I get home with LO at 5:30 and he gets home at 6:30. LO goes to daycare 5 days a week because it costs the same as four days. DH and I agreed that it would be best for the family for him to spend his day off fixing up our new house, cleaning, and running errands child free. That way weekends will be more relaxing. Pretty sweet deal all around, right?</p> <p>Today I asked if he could add something to the free day project list. He got all huffy and said it was his relax day. WTH??? He said he works longer days four days a week so he deserves a day to relax. He still gets Sat &amp; Sun! I don't even get that. I'm a part time student too so that's homework time whenever LO is asleep. I am just so pissed right now. I thought I was being really cool not commenting on how I know he is playing video games part of the day. But for him to claim we agreed he just gets a day to himself is utter crap. I can't unleash the fury because I don't want to ruin Father's Day but I will not stand for this. Where did he get the idea he deserves a free day? </p>