https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 14 Apr 2026 04:18:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-697741 Sun, 07 Apr 2013 18:07:34 +0000 hpopny 697741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: Thanks so much for your encouraging words! :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-692118 Thu, 04 Apr 2013 15:10:30 +0000 banana 692118@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hpopny: That's great! OT and PT therapy will help him tremendously, especially since he's starting at such a young age. Props to you for advocating for him and giving him the help he needs so early on! You rock!</p> <p>And what your evaluators told you totally ring true for my son. My son's low tone is affecting his speech and motor skills (although he's catching up tremendously). but he is 12 months advanced in his cognitive/pre-academic skills! Children develop at different rates, and that's totally fine. We should cherish all of their unique gifts. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-691863 Thu, 04 Apr 2013 13:56:57 +0000 hpopny 691863@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: Just wanted to chime in because we're going through all this now with our DS (8.5 months old). He has low muscle tone and just today got approved for both OT and PT. He's delayed in gross and fine motor skills, but the evaluators told me that some kids will excel in fine motor (and cognitive) skills to "overcompensate" for their delay in gross motor skills.</p> <p>At any rate, I too have found this thread really informative! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-670915 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:38:39 +0000 banana 670915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Awwww. Thanks... I'm already completely in love with your kids so now we're twinsies again. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-670912 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:38:09 +0000 banana 670912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@irene: I agree! Milestone charts are so confusing sometimes. I've never met one child who met every single milestone on time. I just think about milestones as averages and a general gauge as to when your child should hit certain milestones. As long as there is progress, I'm not that concerned. The only time that I would be concerned is if there was some sort of plateau effect (no progress in 2-3 months) or if there was any kind of regression. If there's slow and steady progress, I feel confident that they'll catch up. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-670898 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:34:51 +0000 mrs. wagon 670898@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This thread has been so educational for me!!!!! and @banana it has made me fall in love with your kids even more ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-670872 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 12:29:09 +0000 banana 670872@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@VanillaBean: Thank you so much for your response! I re-read it last night (several times) and I realize how SO on point you are. Every child grows up in different environments so it wouldn't make sense that their development would be the exactly the same. A close friend of mine who also specializes in child development completely enlightened me one day when she said "You know...some children (like your son) learn by seeing. So you have to teach by doing." It was like a light bulb went off in my head. I used to casually just play with him (like most parents do). But now we're actively engaged in his play and it's made such a difference. Parents with developmentally delayed kids (speech, gross/fine motor, anything) definitely need reassurance that everything will be ok. Thanks so much for your encouragement!</p> <p>@betsyboop: We had a physical therapy assessment and she mentioned that my son is slightly low toned (the clinical term is "hypotonia"). But a lot of kids are low-toned so it's not something to necessarily worry about. She said that I looked low-toned too so it must be genetic. :) Low-toned kids typically have slightly rounded shoulders, seem "floppier" than other kids, may sit in a W formation or have trouble sitting with their legs under them or criss-crossed. My son doesn't do any of these things but he does tire easily so he likes to be picked up a lot. His gross motor skills aren't that delayed so his low tone doesn't affect him that much. My husband and I joke that he's gonna be the skinny uncoordinated math nerd at school :) </p> <p>@littlebittyhouse: 9 months is definitely too early to tell. We didn't notice any signs until he was past 12 months (closer to 18 months). He just might not be interested in full on eating yet? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-670288 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 09:54:03 +0000 Mrs. Bee 670288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlebittyhouse: i think it is probably too early to tell? solids are still new at that age.</p> <p>olive stuffs her mouth with food until nothing more fits and she ends up gagging or spitting food out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-670232 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 09:34:00 +0000 littlebittyhouse 670232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: @banana: I am interested to hear more about the food sensory issues. my LO will pop 5-6 cherrios in his mouth without hesitation. he loves his milk but food is just not that interesting to him. He's young (9mo) but I wonder if they could be a sign of some sensory issues?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-670049 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 08:35:24 +0000 Mrs. Bee 670049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@betsyboop: a physical therapist tested her and told us. we had no idea before then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669883 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 07:19:01 +0000 betsyboop 669883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: @Mrs. Bee: My LO is also more advanced in her fine motor vs. gross motor skills. For example, she developed her pincer grasp pretty early on but at 10 months, has just started to pull herself up but refuses to stand for more than 1 second. </p> <p>How do you know if your LO has low muscle tone? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669729 Wed, 27 Mar 2013 00:00:05 +0000 Mrs. Bee 669729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sarac: I think she has had the ability to walk for some time... She is just so cautious she had no desire to when crawling worked fine. But she definitely has low muscle tone overall and maybe that affects gross motor more than fine? I have no idea. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669664 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 22:24:38 +0000 sarac 669664@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: Just as an aside, I find it fascinating that Olive is advanced in fine motor but slow in gross motor. My daughter was a very early talker, VERY late walker, and she's always been slow on her physical stuff. I figured gross and fine would always go together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669633 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 21:58:08 +0000 irene 669633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Poor mommy....</p> <p>To be honest, I am so sick and tired of the milestone system we are in! They always say every child develops in his/her own pace, but when we do exceed in some and lack in others, they want to pull/push us so we follow the "norm". What kind of system is that???? Argh!</p> <p>When I talked to my mom (cuz I am worried too as LO is almost 14 months now and he doesn't speak 1 word that he means, in human language), and she said for me I didn't talk until 2+ years old. A cousin of mine didn't talk until he was 3. She even say I didn't walk until after I talked, which was way later than 2 years old! Can you imagine what would they do now with a child who doesn't walk until 2+ years old?? Back then, it seems like no one really cares, they all just chill, and all of us end up pretty OK. True I didn't end up to be an Olympian, but I walk and talk fine.</p> <p>Hang in there and big hugs to you mama... I'd say your son is very gifted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669494 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 20:26:12 +0000 VanillaBean 669494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Speaking from my own experiences in child development and working with children and parents, Banana, you are doing everything right for your son, seeking early intervention for his language delay and he is already receiving appropriate services. Since he is getting early intervention, I am positive that his expressive language will catch on and he will be talking in no time. I have had students in my program with expressive language delays, receiving services, catch up in their language with their peers within 1-3 years. Early intervention is the key here and your son is in good hands.<br /> I’m not sure where you are but in California, if your son turns three then the services for his intervention will go through the school district. They will put him on an IEP (individualized education program) specific to his language needs.<br /> As for his advance skills in math, that is fantastic. I would encourage you to continue to challenge and scaffold him in his mathematical skills so that he does not get bored. I think it is a great thing that he is advance in a specific area even though he has a delay in one area.<br /> From my personal experience, boys typically lack fine motor skills and are great in their gross motor skills due to their exposure in playing sports, playing with balls, etc…). A lot of toys geared toward boys use hand movements but not specific finger movements which make a different on their fine motor control. I usually tell my parents that they can include in their sons’ exploration by letting them play with things that will encourage fine motor skills (painting upright, coloring, drawing, cutting, stringing things, playing with play dough, cooking with mom/dad-mixing, pouring, cutting veggies/fruits) etc…where they are using their grasping and pincher skills. </p> <p>I have been teaching preschools for over a decade and have been a preschool administrator a few years and let me assure you that each preschool age child develop milestones differently and often times, it vary from one specific area to another. In my assessment and observation of students, I also make note of background information about the child such as, has this child been exposed this before, how often has this child been exposed to it, does the parents work on this specific milestone with their child, etc…to help me make an accurate assessment and data of the child’s abilities.<br /> A lot of how a child develops in milestones has to do with exposure to doing/practicing that particular milestone. You may have noticed that your child excel in specific area because you might have spent more quality time and focus on math without realizing it. Your son’s math advancement has to do with him being exposed to math quite often.<br /> The best way to describe how children learn is like how they learn to ride a bike for the first time. It takes practices, many times of falling, being able to coordinate their hands/feet, and balancing of the bike. After your child has learned to ride a bike, s/he will never forget how to ride it again. Learning is just like that for the most part; however, if you are talking about learning specific things such as doing calculus, if you don’t use what you have learned on a daily basis, it is easier to forget.<br /> I had students who were great in their social and emotional skills but they did not have good fine motor skills because they were not exposed to frequently using their requiring grasping and pinching skills (finger skills, not hand). I had a boy reading in my class reading at a first grade level and could write in complete sentences but did not have good social skills. He was quiet in class and kept to himself. I found out from mom that she was teaching him to read at one year and was working with him on his writing skills once he could hold a pencil so this made a huge difference on his abilities and was also the reason why he was so advanced. Also, I had many students, preschool boys, similar to your child who did extremely well in math but did not have good literacy skills (recognizing letters of the alphabet, writing the alphabet, understanding comprehension, etc…).<br /> I also noticed that students who are more advance in specific milestones had parents who were more involved in their learning and education. These parents worked on their child’s education (read to their child, practice the letters of the alphabet, did math skills with them, etc…) which has a significant learning impact on their child. These students were a lot more advance compared to my other students whose parents were not as actively involved.<br /> Appropriate developmental milestones vary from child to child and I often tell parents that you cannot compare their child to another child because each child’s experiences (at school and home) are different. However, as a parent, it is your job to observe your child’s milestones to see if there are growth or not and if there are no growth in a specific area (whether it is language (articulation, expressive, or receptive language, gross/fine motors, social/emotional skills) in a given stretch of period (2-3 months) then you do have a valid reason to be concerned. You are your child’s best advocate when it comes to his education so if you have concerns, then make sure you find the right people to help you address them and get the help your child need. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669320 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 18:35:15 +0000 banana 669320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sweet T: If your son needs speech therapy, EI is awesome. They have tons of resources that will help him and it's all free. They conduct all services at home too. He may not even need it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669313 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 18:32:02 +0000 banana 669313@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@beaker: Thanks! I'll check out those blogs!</p> <p>@iheartleopardprint: I've been through the whole autism scare because for a while, I thought this could be why my son was speech delayed (no thanks to Dr. Google). So we pushed for evaluations. But they all came back negative. In my gut, I really feel that he's just speech delayed. He's such a social butterfly and extremely sensitive to his and our emotions that I'd be very surprised if he was diagnosed with a social disorder. He's extremely compassionate (says sorry and kisses us if he accidentally hurts us or gives his friends hugs if they're crying). I'm not concerned about autism but I'm wondering if there is something else, like OCD perhaps? Not sure. But with that said, time will tell so I just have to keep an eye out and see how he develops over time. Our psychologist said that most autistic kids are speech delayed but not all speech delayed kids are autistic (majority are not). She equated it to all humans are mammals but not all mammals are humans. </p> <p>He's definitely an interesting little fellow. That, I know for sure. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669296 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 18:21:35 +0000 Sweet T 669296@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Commenting so I remember to check back. I'm still concerned about DS having a speech delay. His pediatrician wants to wait until he's closer to two before getting into early intervention. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669252 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:56:53 +0000 iheartleopardprint 669252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>From what I have heard from friends who are parents dealing with these kinds of issues, their main concern is autism is the cause of their speech and comunication delay. And, the fe of them who have been through the process of evaluations have mentioned diagnosing things like autism are really hard to do divinitively at such a young age. Their kids were maybe 5 or 6 when the official diagnosis came through clearly, so it was a very long process.</p> <p>Having said that, my son was a late talker. One day I just stopped doing things for him and talking to him and all of a sudden he came out talking all these crazy words! Now, at 2.5 years he talks in sentences and is learning to count. But, deep down I knew nothing was underlying in his speech delay. </p> <p>Follow your intuition, if it doesn't feel like theres anything wrong then keep doing what you are doing. But if you do believe deep down there is more to it, follow it up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669240 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:46:19 +0000 Mrs. Tiger 669240@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: not sure if you follow That Wife but I remember a while ago she blogged about speech therapy for her son, and it included her putting his toys out of reach on a high bookshelf so he'd have to ask her specifically for the ones he wanted.</p> <p> I would also suggest amalah's blog, her older son is somewhat on the spectrum and had some sensory issues... Not to say that your son is, just that she may be a good resource for you - she also runs an advice column called alphamom smack down. </p> <p>That's all I can offer :) good luck with it all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669225 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:29:29 +0000 banana 669225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Raindrop: Funny you mention this because one of the first evaluators that came to our house asked me if he was the first born (which he is) and he said a lot of first born children are so coddled, that sometimes it could cause a speech delay. Of course there are other factors too but they did mention it as one of many possible reasons for a delay. Glad your brother is a happy normal adult! That's all I really hope for my son. Just for him to be happy. I guess that's what we all want for our kids. :)</p> <p>The daycare teacher just told my husband that my son was teaching the class today. haha. He would say a number out loud and the other kids would follow him. Too bad he can't do the same with regular every day words! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669213 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 17:21:32 +0000 Raindrop 669213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My older brother didn't really talk till he was 3 years old. My mother thought he might have been deaf and mute (she says dumb which is what mute means but I thought I would just say mute). Had a ton of tests done on him but everything came back fine. He was great outside of this no talking at all thing.</p> <p>Turns out my mother... not to be mean but she's a bit over bearing. She use to do everything for us when we were little, got everything we need/wanted before we could need/want them. Basically my brother had no reason to talk since my mother got him everything he needed/wanted as a baby or figured out what he needed/wanted from his simple gestures.</p> <p>The doc basically said, stop doing everything for him! Have him say what he wants or he won't get it. Basically this was toture to my mother to have him cry cry unable to commuicate what he wanted to her even though she knew exactly what he wanted but could not do a thing till he actually said it. My mother said he learned really fast and finally was on track with speech and everything by 4.</p> <p>Of course I wasn't there, this is just a story my mother has told me about my brother. I wasn't born yet when all this happened. I'm not sure how much of this is true also.</p> <p>But right now my brother is a very normal smart happy adult with a great paying job and lots of friends. Unmarried still but that's another story. :)</p> <p>I just thought this would be useful to you and I hope you don't think I think you are anything like my mother because I don't know you but I'm pretty sure you are probably nothing like her.</p> <p>If this not useful hopefully it was at least an entertaining story. ^_^ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-669001 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 15:53:29 +0000 banana 669001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@duckduckkristen: Thanks for sharing! I'm glad that the boy you used to nanny turned out fine. It's always nice to hear a positive outcome for late talkers and it definitely does help me keep my sanity. Maybe some of this is due to sensory issues, since the boy you mentioned had food issues too. It's funny because my son will say random things like "No, not that way. This way!" and point towards a direction if he thinks we're going somewhere other than a fun place. So he spews out random sentences like this once a while. I don't know what is going on in that little head of his. Thanks again for sharing! I'm sure everything will turn out fine with some patience on my part. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-668974 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 15:46:04 +0000 duckduckkristen 668974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your son sounds similar to a boy I used to nanny. He never said a word until he was 2, but when he did talk it was obvious how intelligent he was. At 2.5 he could count backwards from 100 and knew all of his states and capitals. He memorized maps like crazy! He also had some food issues where he was extremely picky and would keep food in his mouth for a long time and not chew it. I always suspected he might be somewhere on the autism spectrum, but the parents had him evaluated and they said everything was fine. He is six or seven now and last I saw him he seemed totally normal and was doing well in school. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-668969 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 15:44:00 +0000 banana 668969@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: He had a few oral sensory issues, like over stuffing his mouth (like you mentioned), he would chew food and then spit it out if it wasn't breaking down quickly enough, only wanting to eat certain textures, chewing on his sippy straw, not noticing when he had food stuck on his lips. He was a GREAT eater when he was younger so I was so upset when he started becoming picky. :( But the good news is that he outgrew a majority of these. He doesn't overstuff his mouth anymore and he eats a lot more variety of foods now. He still chews on straws though but if we tell him to stop, he will. We did a lot of exercises at home to wake up his oral senses. We gave him weekly OT for a while and his therapist worked on things like making him lick peanut butter off a spoon, having him eat super sour straws to activate his salivary glands, blowing bubbles, placing jam on his top lip and having him lick it off with his tongue. Things like that. OT was great for him. He really enjoyed his sessions. She worked on oral, gross/fine and motor planning with him. I see lots of other kids with sensory things so I think some of this is probably just normal toddler stuff. But it doesn't hurt to try some things at home. :)</p> <p>Thanks for your encouraging words! I'll keep you posted! Let me know if you have any questions! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-668845 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 15:08:06 +0000 Mrs. Bee 668845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: what sensory issues did he have with food? right now olive stuffs her mouth full of food and i didn't know that was a sensory issue until recently (she can't feel the food well unless her mouth is full of food). she also just doesn't eat very much. it is my biggest source of daily stress.</p> <p>time will only tell, but we can't help but worry as parents! when babies are preemies, some of them just end up with some delays while others turn out fine (my friend's 33 week baby is g&amp;t). </p> <p>i hope it just turns out that he has a speech delay and there is nothing else going on. keep me updated! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-668800 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:57:51 +0000 banana 668800@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: My son was born pre-term (at 36 weeks) so I think he may have sensory issues going on too. He's outgrown a lot of them though (especially with food). That's great that Olive's fine motor skills are advanced! It'll definitely help her out when it comes to writing. :) </p> <p>I did check out the teach me to talk DVDs and found a mom who let me borrow them. They were really good! We've been implementing some of the tips at home so I hope they're helping in some way! My son got his hearing checked twice and both times came back normal too. </p> <p>I guess I just have to wait and see. Our SLP always tells us "Time will tell." Our school support team is very positive and think that he will catch up soon. I'm just a worry wart mom (or just a mom) so I can't help but be concerned. I guess we'll see how he develops over time. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-668674 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:23:21 +0000 Mrs. Bee 668674@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: fine motor is the only area where olive is advanced. she's delayed in gross motor, but not so much that it requires therapy. i never worried about it because she continued to make progress.</p> <p>it is great that his receptive language is on track. that is actually really huge! olive's is delayed i think due to sensory issues.... all probably related to her being a preemie.</p> <p>it sounds like you've had a ton of evaluations and they would know much better than i would! i'm sure you've had his hearing tested? we recently had olive's tested and it's normal. </p> <p>have you heard of the dvds teach me to talk? mrs hide and seek blogged about them (her daughter has pdd-nos). she said they were hugely helpful and now her daughter has no delay in speech (and she had no words at 21 months).</p> <p>i completely understand how you feel and i would probably feel the exact same way if i were in your situation. it sounds like he has some obsessive behaviors and maybe he is more obsessive than on the spectrum? (my completely unscientific guess!) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-668627 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 14:14:34 +0000 banana 668627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Bee: His receptive language was initially slightly delayed but he recently got re-evaluated and it's normal. He definitely understands way more than he speaks. He was always very good at communicating non-verbally (nodding, pointing, gesturing, leading me towards the direction he wanted to go). We were told that non-verbal communication is huge so we were relieved that he was able to do that.</p> <p>He was also a little delayed in gross and fine motor skills too. A delay in either could indicate motor planning delays so we had him assessed. He didn't qualify for services but we still worked with him at home. I have an OT friend who has given me tons of tips. He's pretty much caught up in gross motor skills but we still work on fine motor skills every day.</p> <p>How is Olive's fine motor skills? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/uneven-child-development#post-668473 Tue, 26 Mar 2013 13:45:09 +0000 Mrs. Bee 668473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@banana: charlie still has problems with his numbers at 3, so to be able to do that at 18 months i think is advanced. </p> <p>i don't really worry about physical milestones because every kid eventually walks (olive only started at 17 months!).</p> <p>even though his expressive language is delayed, how is his receptive language? does he understand most of the things you tell him? </p>