https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 09 May 2026 20:23:25 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2877821 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 19:16:39 +0000 LadyDi 2877821@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: Congratulations! #3 is actually due on DS2's 17 month birthday, but I'll have him a week early via c section. EEK. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2877812 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 17:53:45 +0000 nwm 2877812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: haha, fair enough - we can all do it LOL! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2877803 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 17:15:39 +0000 nwm 2877803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ms. RV: OMG! congratulations! so we'll be double due date board buddies! </p> <p>eek indeed. DD is very end of june so we'll be like barely squeaking out 17 months. just telling myself they'll be best friends one day :grin: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2877802 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 17:11:39 +0000 Ms. RV 2877802@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: I recently found out I am expecting a #3 in November. It's a half-surprise. Like a spur of the moment NTNP-what-are-the-chances kind of thimg. We had no idea I was ovulating. In fact we even went back to preventing after that. DS and this one will only be 18 months apart. Eek! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2877750 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 11:45:35 +0000 cake2017 2877750@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with a lot of the other posts! Normal feelings. Don’t stress out. It will all work out! Congratulations! Such a blessing! I have a 21 month old and currently pregnant. We weren’t trying- I had all those thoughts! Give yourself some time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2877748 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 11:31:45 +0000 LadyDi 2877748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nwm: Well, congratulations! I am always glad to know I'm not the only one who accidentally gets pregnant. It probably took me a good couple months to completely process my emotions, probably because I was just exhausted in the first trimester and that didn't help. But once I turned the corner into my second trimester and we told friends and family and finished answering the "did you mean for this to happen" sort of questions I started to get a lot more excited and now we're pretty pumped to be a family of 5 with 3 boys! </p> <p>I still have moments of anxiety/terror. Just yesterday when I was trying to get my two kids into Target I was like HOW AM I GOING TO DO THIS WITH THREE?! But, we'll survive. Every time I see a mom out with her three kids I tell myself if she can do it, I can do it. </p> <p>Don't hold me up as a beacon yet, LOL. I'll let you know how I am surviving once he's born this summer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2877737 Fri, 22 Mar 2019 11:13:22 +0000 nwm 2877737@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>hi @LadyDi: ! i pulled this thread back up because i remember reading it, and i basically acted it out in real time this week. so we're going to be having a third in november even though DD is only 8 months. i have been struggling with all these same emotions this week. so, solidarity, and also, i'll be holding you up as a shining beacon that it is possible :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855573 Wed, 07 Nov 2018 14:27:31 +0000 SupernovaJ 2855573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have to admit, even though we planned our third, I am completely overwhelmed at the thought of our growing family next year (currently 10 weeks pregnant with the third). We thought long and hard about a third and we absolutely want this baby, but there are days when the idea of it scares me and it catches me off guard, because I never thought I'd feel this way. I think the pregnancy hormones and feeling generally awful (nausea) don't help either. It's hard to feel that excitement. But I know as the months pass by, I'll get more comfortable with the idea and will be really excited. Hang in there, your feelings are completely valid and I too would feel the same in your position with a 9 month old and it not being planned. But I have every confidence that things will completely change for the better in just a bit of time. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855490 Wed, 07 Nov 2018 10:31:36 +0000 Mrsbells 2855490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855482 Wed, 07 Nov 2018 10:12:00 +0000 LadyDi 2855482@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: gotcha. Good to know. It’s my plan to get my tubes tied as well. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855366 Tue, 06 Nov 2018 17:29:53 +0000 Mrsbells 2855366@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: with my 3rd c section I also got my tubes tied so I definitely felt a bit more sore. Still recovering now but its been very similar to the 1st two! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855358 Tue, 06 Nov 2018 17:03:38 +0000 LadyDi 2855358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetiePie: @MrsF: Thanks, I've heard that three is the easiest. I certainly hope so!</p> <p>@Mrsbells: Thank you! Did your 3rd csection go smoothly? My first two did and I don't have much scar tissue so I am hoping this one is ok. I haaaaate the recovery though, I am already dreading that. </p> <p>@ElbieKay: Wow twins! I feel like that would be more shocking than a surprise BFP. That's great that it went so smoothly. I do have a tendency to assume the worst is going to happen. </p> <p>@bhbee: Thanks, I actually became a SAHM after my second was born. It's been quite a financial adjustment but especially now with three under the age of 5 it really would have been pointless for me to work because of the cost of childcare. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855084 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 21:50:32 +0000 bhbee 2855084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lots of good advice above! I would also add - try not to panic about the financial things. We had our third 3 months ago and I SAH for now so finances feel like a big deal. But - you can make anything work especially in the short term, and a lot of the decisions like house, car, etc you won’t have to make right away, or even right after the baby comes. Eventually we definitely need a bigger car and house, but I feel like we can make it work until the time feels right. Big hugs and congrats! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855069 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 20:27:54 +0000 ElbieKay 2855069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We tried really hard for a second baby. We wanted two kids. Baby #2 turned out to be identical twins. They are 3.5mo. My oldest is 4.5.</p> <p>None of the things I worried about have materialized. The girls made it to 37w. We avoided a csection and NICU time. My oldest adores his baby sisters and has been amazing with them. They started STTN at around 12wo, right before my return to work.</p> <p>Things will work out. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855067 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 20:12:16 +0000 MrsF 2855067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations!</p> <p>Just chiming in as a mom of 3 :happy: I can see how you would be shocked and overwhelmed, but truly 3 has been the easiest transition for our family. You're already experienced with newborns and already used to juggling multiple kids and a certain amount of chaos. My youngest is 17 months and I absolutely can't imagine our family without him :heart: There aren't many quiet moments in our house, but it is truly full of love and lots of laughter. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855043 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 18:20:20 +0000 Mrsbells 2855043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: firstly congrats! I was in your shoes earlier this year with an unexpected bfp for our 3rd! We were also undecided about a 3rd and I had already had 2 csections! But it all worked out after we adjusted to it! I had my 3rd csection last month and we already can't remember not have 3 kids! :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855026 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 17:04:28 +0000 SweetiePie 2855026@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congrats! It’s probably very very normal to feel the way you feel right now.<br /> I have a friend who had a 2yo and a newborn. When the newborn turned 3 months she found out she was pregnant with her third! The 2nd and 3rd kids are almost exactly a year apart.<br /> She was extremely upset at first. She said she cried for months (we didn’t find out right away, of course). But I have seen her many many times with all 3 and she is happy. It’s a lot more work and it took some time for her to adjust to the idea, but she is happy :-)</p> <p>Take the time you need to process it! I did ivf for both of my boys and I still felt panicky when it worked for the 2nd. I had very deliberately been trying to get pregnant and after a year and $80k later I still felt like “what have I done???” 🤣<br /> I think it’s normal to panic on subsequent kids becuase now you know what to expect. Lol. There isn’t that naïveté anymore. You know it’s hard and exhausting and frustrating. But it’s also pretty awesome :-)</p> <p>ETA: fwiw my sister has 3 kids and she said 3 was the easiest. My friend mentioned above said the same too. So much less to worry and stress about. You just have to suck it up and do it and accept that things won’t be perfect (my sisters words). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2855020 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 16:40:38 +0000 LadyDi 2855020@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kaohinani: That's good to hear. DH's sister's are only about a year and a half apart and they were really close growing up and are still really close now.</p> <p>@Iced Tea: Thanks I don't think I knew the 18 month thing. It just feels like I had a baby 5 minutes ago, haha. </p> <p>@pinkb: Well, I am glad I am not the only person who this happens to. I am primarily very angry with myself. It was really one mistake and I know how babies are made and should have known better. I know I'll be happier eventually, it's just a lot to process when it's such a surprise. And I am very concerned about the financial aspect and where we are going to put this baby in our house! I can't handle moving right now and we aren't in a place to be able to do so anyway.</p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: @Lindsay05: Thanks for responding as moms of three! I know once he or she is here I won't be able to remember life any other way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854916 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 11:49:58 +0000 Lindsay05 2854916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The thought of three can be overwhelming planned or unplanned. You are officially outnumbered. But don’t think too far ahead of yourself. Things will come together. You are not denying anybody anything. You are giving your baby another sibling which is such a blessing. The love between those two will make you forget about everything else. Let yourself be shocked, cry as much as you need. But having 3 is so much fun. Hugs mama. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854914 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 11:42:40 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2854914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LadyDi: I think you're reacting like a totally normal person. Being ecstatic would have also been normal and fine and great, but nine months pp isn't a ton of time either. You don't have anything to feel guilty about!<br /> We have three and I know I know, what else would I say, but I really can't picture not having my last baby. She is ten months and just perfection. My middle doesn't always like her but gets plenty of attention and isn't forgotten, so far anyway. And we didn't get a new car until well after she was born, and could have done without it at all. It'll be ok! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854908 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 11:32:29 +0000 pinkb 2854908@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am currently 20 weeks with an unexpected 3rd. My kids are older than your 5 and 3 but I was still very upset by the news. I was pretty mad at myself and DH for letting it happen (mostly myself), obviously we know how babies are made. I cried a lot over it and just let myself feel however I felt everyday. I have gotten over the anger but I am still worried about the financial impact it will have on our family. We had already gotten a mini van a couple years ago when we were undecided on a third. But it will be a tight fit in our little house, its a bit overwhelming with the 4 of us. But I know it will all work out and worrying about it now wont change anything. So I try to concentrate on the positives and I am slowly on the excited train to meet our little girl. </p> <p> :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854896 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 11:07:05 +0000 MamaBear87 2854896@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We tried and hoped for this baby and when I finally got pregnant the day after my positive test I was like "what have I done? My baby won't be the baby anymore!" I think no matter what you have all the feelings and even more so when it's a surprise. </p> <p>So don't feel guilty. Feel what you need to feel and when you're ready were all here to say congrats!! </p> <p>And I only have 1 with 1 on the way but have several friends with 3 (or more!) And they all seem to be alive and well! Everything will be ok! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854893 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:51:27 +0000 Sams Mom 2854893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't speak personally to the pregnancy close to a previous c-section; but my doctor told me when we started talking about trying again that 1 year is a standard in the clear, but he wouldn't have any qualms if we started trying 9 month pp because I had a very textbook c-section with my son. #holyrunonsentance</p> <p>Fell all the feels, you have 36 weeks give or take to figure all of this out. Your son might have a hard time adjusting (I wasn't thrilled about losing the baby title when my little sister came along), but kids are flexible, and resilient. </p> <p>I am a totally neurotic person that can't go with the flow, so I totally feel all of this for you. Vent all you want, and don't ever feel like your feelings aren't valid because some of us have been trying for what seems like forever to get knocked up. Everyone's path is different, that doesn't make it any less stressful/scary/exciting/overwhelming. </p> <p> :heart: hugs :heart: and Congratulations momma! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854892 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:50:06 +0000 Iced Tea 2854892@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Since time post-c-section was the first thing you mentioned, let me just say that the general recommendation is 18 months between births (following a c-section), so you can be assured you are close enough to that mark. </p> <p>I'm sorry you are feeling so much stress. :Hugs: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854889 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:44:01 +0000 snowjewelz 2854889@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Congratulations! I can see how this can all be so much to handle; it's totally okay to feel this way. Of course you're happy. Of course it's a blessing. But it is OKAY to freak out too! Take some time for it to sink in, and it will be okay :heart: </p> <p>My only experience is that our 2nd happened earlier than planned too, our life was seriously chaotic around the time she was born and I was very stressed/anxious too about how it would all work out. But all the hard stuff will pass eventually and you will love your family of 5 :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854887 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:40:07 +0000 Kaohinani 2854887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First of all, Congratulations! Give yourself some time to process and then let yourself grow into the idea of being pregnant again. While I have not been in your position (* pregnant 9 mos post c-section), both my Nana and my cousin were in your shoes and they tell wonderful stories when looking back. My Nana fell pregnant with one aunt 7 mos after giving birth to the first. She said they always had a playmate, were unbelievably close, and, as they grew older, were mistaken for twins. My aunts never had any complaints either. My cousin fell pregnant 11 mos post c-section. Her only issue was that she needed a repeat c-section and had a lot of scar tissue. Her son and daughter are extremely close. They get to attend friend event and parties together because they share friends which is amazing. No complaints from my cousin. My point is that it will all work out (as everything usually does) even though, I'm certain that it is extremely overwhelming at the moment. Big hugs :heart: and another CONGRATULATIONS! 🎈🎉🎊 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unexpected-bfp-1#post-2854876 Mon, 05 Nov 2018 10:22:40 +0000 LadyDi 2854876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hi all, sorry if this is a bit rambling. Found out last night that I am pregnant with our third! I am only 9 month postpartum from our second son. This was completely and totally unplanned. I really, really, really did not think I was pregnant but decided to take a test just in case. So I am experiencing a LOT of emotions right now because we hadn't even decided if we wanted a third, let alone right now. I spent most of last night crying and feeling horribly guilty for not being happy about this little baby. I am so, so anxious for a variety of reasons, first of all I had a c section with my second so I feel like physically I shouldn't be pregnant so soon (I am NOT going to google anything). I feel like we're going to be stretched thin, financially and emotionally. I feel like I took away my second son's babyhood and that I have no idea how I am going to manage three children. We're going to have to cancel summer vacations we had planned, we're going to need a new car and we're probably going to have to move sooner than we had wanted. I just have a thousand thoughts rolling through my head about how life is going to be different now than what we planned. I know everything will be fine, it's just a lot right now and I am not a "roll with the punches" kind of person.</p> <p>I am not sure what I am looking for here, probably just to vent and hopefully for someone with three kids to tell me that I will survive. I am not trying to sound ungrateful to be pregnant, because I know a lot of bees have struggled with infertility, I just need to unpack my emotions somewhere and this is a very supportive community. </p>