https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 18:25:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523912 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 17:23:30 +0000 mrbee 1523912@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok just got back from picking up the kids from school!</p> <p>I'll go ahead and close the thread for now... @missybear: if you'd like me to delete the thread for you completely, please post a delete request here!</p> <p><a href="http://help.hellobee.com/board/delete-request" rel="nofollow">http://help.hellobee.com/board/delete-request</a> </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523869 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 17:03:50 +0000 AprilFool 1523869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I know a lot of people are giving you grief over not telling him but I found out on a Mon and didn't tell my husband till the Thurs. We were in the process of moving he was staying with friends and I was with my parents an hour away. I wanted to tell him in person and while I could of managed to see him sooner if would of been difficult with what was going on. He wasn't mad at me or even bothered. You know your husband and you have the right to tell him how you like, as long as you do tell him ;) Do it your way and make it special. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523827 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:49:12 +0000 Raindrop 1523827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think anyone was being snarky. I think they were just answering your question. I'm actually a little surprised how kind of out of hand this thread got. </p> <p>Congrats on being pregnant and good luck telling your hubs. Whatever you do... don't stress too much on it.</p> <p>I told my hubs over the phone when I got my BFP with LO and he was super happy. I didn't even think about making it special at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523807 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:43:40 +0000 IRunForFun 1523807@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: How did you DH react when you had the chemical? Could you gauge what his reaction might be to this pregnancy based on that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523805 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:42:06 +0000 mrbee 1523805@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: sure I can close the thread if you'd like… Just let me know! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523803 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:41:50 +0000 Happygal 1523803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I'm late to this thread, but I want to tell you to enjoy the moment of telling your husband the big news, and congrats! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523799 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:38:48 +0000 LBee 1523799@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: You aren't a horrible wife - we all do what's best for our marriage. Hey @MrBee: can you help a girl out - I think she wants to close this thread. </p> <p>You can always count on @MrBee to help you with anything. Him and his wife run the show and they are really on top of things.</p> <p>ETA: It might should be "he and his wife." Dr. Google is great at medical advice, but doesn't seem to be very fruitful with my grammar questions.</p> <p>Also, a fun follow-up thread might be to post a question asking for ideas on how to tell! Don't stop being active because of one tough thread. I promise you will feel the love. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523795 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:36:23 +0000 missybear 1523795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah, I read back on my original post and am not sure what I was even asking for, and it's very confusing. I guess I just wanted everything to be "perfect" and it already felt so out of control that I wanted to the best I could with what I had. I have just been trying to figure out a cute way to tell him, and was just asking if it was ok to wait a couple days while I figured that out.. like, I'm not late for my period yet, and want to find a cute way to tell him, and is it ok for me to wait a couple days, plus since Ive had a chemical, I guess id like to wait a couple days too.. that sort of thing. Which is not at all what my post even sounded like.</p> <p>And now its turned into this big deal and just makes me feel like I'm the worst wife ever everytime I log on, and I wish there was a way I could just delete this thread. </p> <p>Sorry for posting the least useful post ever, and I guess I'll just stick to a board instead of posting my own threads. Clearly pregnancy brain kicks in immediately and I can't seem to get my point accross. </p> <p>I really do appreciate the time you all have taken in your replies, and am sorry if it was a waste of your time. Thanks again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523785 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:34:52 +0000 lilyofthewest 1523785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I keep checking back here to see if you've gotten the chance to tell him yet. I hope that he is happy and supportive when you tell him. I think if I were in a similar position I would plan to wait and tell him when we could talk...but would actually blurt it out at the first inopportune moment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523774 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:31:21 +0000 MrsStar 1523774@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely understand why you're waiting, and as you say - at the end of this week the busyness will end which means you two can focus on the news! Good luck for when you do tell him! Hope you stick around these boards :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523753 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:25:33 +0000 pinkcupcake 1523753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@septca: I agree with you, I'm having a hard time following.</p> <p>Good luck, and congrats on your pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/3#post-1523752 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:24:47 +0000 junebugmama 1523752@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I am sorry if you thought some of us weren't supporting you, I don't think that was our intention. However, I think most of us don't understand waiting days to tell to him. If you know that he would be ok with you waiting, that's great, but your post is titled ….when to tell hubby? Which I think a few of us thought you weren't telling him out of fear or worry for his reaction. I wish you the best of luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523747 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:23:38 +0000 Rocker2014 1523747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Missybear: I think you're doing a good thing by waiting for the opportune moment when you actually have time to talk. We weren't expecting to be pregnant (NTNP) so soon, and when I found out in a call from my doctors office (went in for blood work for something else completely) during the work day, I immediately called my husband. we were both at work, and it was a stupid, awkward conversation. Looking back, I really wish I had waited at least until we were both at home, with time to talk and really process what was happening for us. So good for you, and good luck in your conversation with your husband! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523746 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:23:38 +0000 septca 1523746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I am really not trying to be rude, but I honestly don't understand. I respect all the Bees who have said that they understand why you are waiting, so I am really trying to see it from your perspective. But what you've said on the December 2014 moms thread just confuses me more - you have told us, you have told your doctor (and have an appointment for tomorrow), but you haven't told your husband? Again, I'm not trying to be rude, I have just having a really hard then imagining keeping something like this from my husband. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523725 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:18:39 +0000 deactivated_account 1523725@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I think that the tone of your original post made it seem like you might not even tell your husband you got pregnant in the event that "something happens" before AF. That is the comment to which I imagine most people are reacting. Its not as if you were talking about holding off on telling him until you had time to make a cute announcement onsie. In any event, tell him when its convenient to both of you. Or don't tell him at all. Good luck either way! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523704 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:12:42 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1523704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I wish you good luck. I totally get wanting to tell at the right moment, especially if you aren't 100% sure of what the reaction might be.</p> <p>Congratulations! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523701 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:11:34 +0000 IRunForFun 1523701@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I don't think people mean to be unsupportive, I think people are just answering the question you asked honestly, from their own perspectives. While it seems like the consensus would tell their husbands about the pregnancies ASAP no matter what the circumstances, there are others here who have said they'd wait, as you're doing. </p> <p>I think it's just hard for people to put themselves in your shoes, maybe? </p> <p>For me I know that I'd tell my husband as soon as humanly possible because I wouldn't be able to keep such a huge secret and because if he found out I had known for a few days without telling him he would be sad and offended. </p> <p>I think what people are saying is you do have (and have had) the opportunity to tell him before now, but it seems like you're waiting for the perfect time. Just be aware that there may not be a "perfect" time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523693 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:09:48 +0000 sorrycharlie 1523693@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I hope it goes well! :) I think a lot of people have waited a few days if they were planning a fun way to tell. It's really not a big deal :) I agree with some PPs, I hope you stick around!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523681 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:04:37 +0000 missybear 1523681@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>ETA: I appreciate the time everyone has taken to respond to my thread. I think it is true though, that we each know our husbands best. Mine won't mind that I waited a couple days to tell him. All that to say, I'll tell him as soon as I see him, and appreciate the time you have taken to give me your insight on our weird situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523677 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:04:13 +0000 Radish 1523677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: Agreed! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523676 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:04:04 +0000 littlek 1523676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I don't think anyone is trying to be snarky. Sometimes when you ask a question, you may not be thrilled with the responses you get, that's the unfortunate thing about making a personal issue public. Good luck telling your husband. My husband was in big 4 and so was I, so I undersand being busy. Hopefully he comes home early so you can discuss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523672 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:03:08 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1523672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good luck sharing the news! Hopefully he comes home in time today for you to tell him. How are you feeling? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523666 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:02:46 +0000 Radish 1523666@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I'm sorry some of these responses are more judgemental than helpful to you. Everyone needs to process and handle things in their own way. I understand your wanting to approach it the right way for you and your husband. Pregnancy can be a huge mental adjustment. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523665 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:02:42 +0000 winniebee 1523665@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I hope he gets home at a more decent time tonight! I can understand why you haven't told him - I agree it's the kind of news you want to share in person, especially if it's unplanned. My husband is a physician and works crazy hours and I also would hesitate to tell him at midnight when he is completely stressed and half asleep and when he has to get up at 5:30 again. Buttttt since it's now been a few days, I'd probably set an alarm or text him to wake you up when he gets home.</p> <p>Guys, it's not like she's 5 months pregnant and hasn't told him. It's been a few days and she hasn't seen him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523660 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 16:00:39 +0000 spaniellove 1523660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: Ages and ages ago when DH and I were engaged I was unexpectedly pregnant (on BCP), so I've been trying to think of a way to answer your original question. Now-DH was, like your husband, very busy and worked late + weekends and I was really involved in my work too so we hardly saw each other. But I told him right away, almost as soon as the pee stick dried because I was so freaked out and didn't know what to do. It was a big deal - he came home and looked at the line on the stick with me. I was glad we had that freaked out moment together because when I had a m/c he was too busy to come to the ER with me. </p> <p>What everyone has been trying to tell you is that this is more important than his work and you need to have that moment. He deserves to go through this with you. And even if the responses were not what you were hoping for, trust me it's nothing like what you would have gotten from The Bump. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523645 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:53:29 +0000 HellOnHeels 1523645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I just wanted to pop in and say that I completely understand where you're coming from! My DH also goes through a "busy season" and we barely see each other during those times, especially when I'm working full-time. If I was in your situation, I would probably wait to tell him when we weren't either half asleep or coming off a super long (probably stressful) workday. </p> <p>Good luck! It will probably be a shock, but ultimately will be a great one! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523634 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:50:42 +0000 LBee 1523634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@swedishfish: I agree. I also think people are more just answering the question. It's hard because the answer isn't what the OP probably wants to hear - but besides being a really supportive group, we are also a really brutally honest group. I think it's @Adira who jokes that every time she posts a question asking if something is rude, people always tell her she's wrong. You can be supportive, but still disagree with how someone is handling something. Sorry to kind of rant, but I had noticed a few people make the supportive comment and thought it was important to note that all of the people giving the answer of "you need to tell him now" are still taking time to answer and are offering their support through advice (which was asked for). If we weren't supportive, we would just ignore the question. Moreover, they are saying how they would feel in the scenario. Every marriage is different.</p> <p>ETA: Wrote this prior to seeing your updated post. Didn't want to change it as I stand by my comments, but wanted to provide that context. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523632 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:50:08 +0000 pui 1523632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@missybear: I don't think anyone here is being snarky, I think they just feel if they were in your shoes they would tell their husbands ASAP, even if that meant staying up past 1am. You asked when you should tell your husband and this online community basically said "now".</p> <p>You know your husband better than we could. If you feel that waiting for the right conditions to tell him is a good idea, that's your call! I hope he comes home at a reasonable time tonight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523610 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:43:00 +0000 missybear 1523610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes, this is not feeling like that supportive of a community at all! If I wanted a non-stop snark fest, I would have gone to the Bump. Sad.</p> <p>I'm sorry I can't drive to my husband and surprise him at work, but we work 80 miles apart. My lunch break is 1 hour. That wouldn't even work.</p> <p>This is not a conversation I want to have with him at 1 in the morning. That doesn't seem fair or good for either of us. I just want us to be able to talk at a time when we have a couple hours to spend together after to have a full conversation about it. We both have crazy commutes at the moment and need our sleep. </p> <p>I actually am very much looking forward to telling him, and wanted to yesterday but he had to work late. So I'm just playing it by ear, much as I always have to with his job this time of year. I'm sorry that you all think I am such a horribe person for not telling him right away, I just havent even seen him this week enough to say ten words to him, let alone had time for an actual conversation. Besides, my period isn't even late yet. It's not like I'm waiting forever. I am really excited to tell him, just haven't had a moment face-to-face with him.</p> <p>And for those who asked, I'm 23 and he is 25. We aren't that young or anything, but were thinking of trying when we are 24 and 26 to have a baby when we are 25 and 27. We both have good jobs and everything we need and a nice savings account, it's just a suprise, that's all.</p> <p>@applesandbananas: thank you. people don't really realize what it's like either being or being with an accountant during busy season. Especially when he works out in Beverly Hills, so he has a crazy traffic-filled commute each way. It's just that his busy season ends this week, and I really don't want to throw him off when he is knee-deep in performing his first personal audit. I just want us to be able to be awake and actually have a conversation with him about it, and it's hard when he is home after 12am and gone by 5:30am. So thank you for the love, and I hope you're hangin in there ok with your own busy season :)</p> <p>@mrs-lemon-lime: I've been trying really hard to think of something cute for him! I just seem to have lost my brain lately, so it's been difficult to come up with cute ideas. I like both of the ones you listed though!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unplanned-pregnancy-when-to-tell-hubby/page/2#post-1523607 Wed, 26 Mar 2014 15:42:39 +0000 swedishfish 1523607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@jetsa: I think people are surprised her husband doesn't know yet because she found out two days ago. I can't imagine keeping that secret from my husband for that long and we work opposite schedules. </p>