https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 28 Jun 2026 18:57:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126330 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 12:42:16 +0000 Jumpingjacks 126330@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Can you let your parents and siblings know that if they are going to tell people you have gone to the hospital to please also state that you and your DH prefer not to have visitors?</p> <p>I don't get why everyone wants to come to hospital anyway. I think it's seriously rude. Where I live in Canada the hospitals ONLY allow the grandparents to visit and one singular designated 'other' who is permitted to be there for the labour/delivery (other than the DH/Partner). </p> <p>Maybe you can contact the hospital in advance and ask if they have a policy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126302 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 12:19:27 +0000 purrpletulips 126302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd politely tell your family that while you appreciate their visits, you would like to just keep the hospital stay just you, your DH and the new baby. You also need to enlist your other family (i.e. mother) to support you in this decision and not give other family your information. I agree that the nurses can be a strong ally in this.</p> <p>I was induced and when we got to the hospital one of our church's elders was there to pray with us before the induction started (unannounced but very much appreciated). After the baby was born, we had 5 visitors and only 2 were unannounced. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126252 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 11:31:05 +0000 Chillybear 126252@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My cousin had a similar experience when she had her baby last month. We have a large somewhat pushy family and she made it known that no one would be allowed at the hospital until she gave the ok. She texted me at one point letting me know she was in labor and at the hospital. The next text i got was that she had her baby through Emergency C-Section. Later she told me that she was really scared and made her fiance call his and her parents to get over there asap in case something went wrong. Her mom almost didnt make it to the hospital before the baby was born. </p> <p>Even now that she's home for almost 2 weeks shes still limiting how many come over and when. I don't blame her she having trouble with breast feeding and is desperate to get her on a schedule. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126247 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 11:27:09 +0000 Mrsbells 126247@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I personally would never just go to the hospital if someone had a baby unless they were close family. I think this is a personal private time and i dont want people there during labor, i think it just distracts you if people keep coming to talk to you.<br /> I dont want any friends coming to the hospital. They can come see me once I am home with the baby and have gotten chance to get used to everything. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126242 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 11:21:04 +0000 mrs. wagon 126242@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lozza: that is a fantastic idea! kind of like a day-of coordinator, for baby deliveries :) or a maid of honor. When people ask when they can visit, you can just give them her phone number. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126232 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 11:13:17 +0000 aunt pol 126232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had to come back to this thread again, I think I need some clarification. Do hospitals over there actually let people in to stand / sit around and chat WHILE you push the baby out? What happens to women who have (emergency ) c sections? Do you have an audience for that too? Or is it just while they're stitching you up?! I just have such a hard time imagining that! </p> <p>If people are so rude as to turn up uninvited, when you're having what is, at the end of the day, a large scale medical procedure, then I'm with Crumbs. Turn the phones off. Ring parents when you're out of the recovery room and tell them whether you feel like visits straight away or not.<br /> I just don't get it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126213 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 10:57:59 +0000 His Barista 126213@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yep. We had that happen. She was born at like 4am on Sunday. By the afternoon we had lots of visitors. Luckily I was obviously tired so they didn't stay long. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-126207 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 10:50:05 +0000 Lozza 126207@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Is there someone in your family (someone that you are ok with having at the hospital) that can serve as a kind of gatekeeper?<br /> Next time I give birth, I am appointing my sister for that job (aside from DH, who will have other stuff to do right after a birth!, my sister is my best advocate- when she was helping me do wedding stuff, or when she is taking care of LO, she is almost ridiculous about making sure my instructions are followed to the letter!). I figure she'll hang out in the waiting area and if anyone wants to see us that we don't want around, she'll explain that we're resting and tell them we'd love to have them visit after we return home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125897 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 08:10:37 +0000 PBandBaseball 125897@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think telling your siblings that you don't want other visitors might work. If other extended family members stop by I would rely on the nurses to send them home. I've never thought of this issue but I can't imagine having to deal with dozens of visitors when you're trying to bond with your baby! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125869 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 07:54:38 +0000 SugarplumsMom 125869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd turn off our phones and concentrate on having the baby. Call them after you've recovered and say it was too hectic to give them the play-by-play. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125808 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 07:27:08 +0000 Goldilocks1107 125808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We're not going to tell anyone we're at the hospital until after LO is born (that's the plan anyway). Then we're only going to tell parents and siblings and ask that they call ahead before coming to visit at the hospital. Maybe tell your family to spread the word to others that you'd prefer visitors after you're home so you can get your rest at the hospital? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125764 Tue, 17 Apr 2012 05:48:44 +0000 tequiero21 125764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We had some random people visit...hub was mad. Why r they so inconsiderate? Lol. </p> <p>Supposedly, we had all these rules, but nurses weren't making anyone keep them or something? Like I was supposed to have max 3 people in the room, besides me and hub. There were at times like 4 or 5 at a time. Not supposed to have kids except sibling, but my nephew got in. Etc...</p> <p>Now that I've been there ,I don't think I want to visit anyone at the hospital anymore. Too burdensome when all you want to do is rest and feed your baby. Especially first time parents, when youre still learning the ropes and people keep interrupting you from your feeding and whatnot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125647 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 23:20:40 +0000 aunt pol 125647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No visitors allowed in l&amp;d or recovery room here- and in pp room, it's during visiting hours only, no children, only a specified number of people at a time. I have to say its one thing I never thought about until reading about it here- we didn't even go to see my nephews until they were brought home as SIL felt too unwell. Do people really have no concept that you might need time to recover, rest, and cuddle your baby in privacy? I feel mad on your behalf!<br /> You need to get your mums on side- put the word out that you don't want any visitors until you actually invite them in. Full stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125601 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:53:44 +0000 chopsuey 125601@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: Dang! Intense security! It's really easy getting into L&amp;D at my hospital. But they have anklets on all the babies and an alarm goes off if babies leave their postpartum room. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125595 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:50:07 +0000 mrs. wagon 125595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our hospital has crazy tight security and doesn't allow any visitors until you've been transferred to your postpartum room. Then visitors have to register with the guard and aren't even allowed into the elevators (they lock the buttons so you can't even try to get to the L&amp;D floor!) unless they have a PHOTO badge that they have to stand in a huge line to register for. The only children allowed on the floor are siblings of newborns. It's crazy annoying for visitors, but really nice that random people aren't wandering the halls of the L&amp;D floor.</p> <p>We also accepted all visitors and actually got over 40 visitors total... haha... and we kept having visitors after we went home too. We were way too excited to show off our baby :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125590 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:45:29 +0000 Mrs. Bicycle 125590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>KIDS - someone brought her kids (all under 7) to my room just hours after having my baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125582 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:36:32 +0000 cupcakemama 125582@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Tell the nurses to run interference. Tell your siblings not to blab. If they can't guarantee that then they don't get told. Does your entire family know which hospital? If they don't then keep that info to yourself. It's your birth process, you have the right to tell people to get lost ( nicely of course!), it shouldn't be about hurting your visitor's feelings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125580 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:31:20 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 125580@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@belleoftheballe: I think it's important to be hardcore, as you put it. You only get one "first", and I could never live with myself if I looked back on my birth experience and regretting not having enough alone time with my husband and daughter. I was pretty hardcore with when I was willing to accept visitors, and I had no problem telling people "now isn't a good time" both in the hospital and after we'd gone home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125572 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:17:48 +0000 regberadaisy 125572@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would also enlist the help of the nurses.</p> <p>Personally, I would be kinda sad if no one wanted to come visit me! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125571 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 21:17:07 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 125571@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes.</p> <p>Can you register as a private patient? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125560 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:51:57 +0000 holdonforonemoreday 125560@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am having my husband tell the people that I don't want there beforehand. I do not want his parents there.<br /> In addition, I will tell the nurses I do not want his parents there and give them a picture of them, just in case.<br /> I'm hardcore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125540 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:32:26 +0000 Smurfette 125540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just ask people to call first. I have had friends say that they aren't up for visitors. Or they have just said that a certain time is ok and if I couldn't go then, I just went and visited later when they are home. </p> <p>I never go without calling first and making sure it is ok. I always offer to bring lunch, dinner, whatever they need. </p> <p>I would just ask your parents to not say anything to anyone that you are in labor or had the baby till you let everyone know. Maybe that he will help hold everyone off for a while. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125533 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:29:30 +0000 cyneswith 125533@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'd say to let your siblings know ahead of time that you don't want extended family to come - if they choose to tell anyone else, they need to ALSO tell that you don't want extra visitors at the hospital.</p> <p>I felt sorry for one nurse at a hospital - I'd been at another friend's birth, so I knew that the mom had complete say over who got to come in and when. And the dad/grandpa was getting belligerent about being let in. Look, Gramps, your daughter wants some time alone with her kid (and maybe husband) and didn't want to deal with telling you to your face, so stop yelling at the nurses. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125532 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:24:07 +0000 Rubies 125532@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I absolutely refused visitors! I didn't even let my parents or in-laws come until AFTER LO was born. A bunch of people wanted to visit and I only said "yes" to a couple but when they arrived I was still in so much pain that I actually had hubs ask them to leave. I would TOTALLY get nurses to help you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125518 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 20:15:21 +0000 chopsuey 125518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! People were really respectful about visiting and didn't come/text or call us until we contacted them! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125491 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:48:02 +0000 mediagirl 125491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes! I feel for you. I would definitely get the nurses to help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125486 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:40:45 +0000 brownie 125486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The nurses can help keep people from you. Write an explicit list of who is allowed to visit with you. I specifically said NO visitors. My family doesn't live close so it wasn't an issue. You won't want the visitors right away.</p> <p>Another thing we did to keep people informed through a Facebook event. Then anyone who wanted the play by play could get it but it wasn't just on the wall. We really liked that. It may help if they get information and you can put on there that you don't want visitors until after you get home and they can get to you through there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125484 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:38:29 +0000 cvbee 125484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsdaredevil: in my prenatal class, they said to tell the nurses if you've had enough of visitors and they will put up a sign and guard your room. Not sure if they do that at your hospital. </p> <p>If you think it is mainly your family, maybe you could politely spread the word by telling your Mom and getting her to tell people too. Is there a 'sip and see' scheduled? Maybe if they know that they can come to visit you at home on a certain day then they wont feel the need to come to the hospital. Some people think that others like hospital visitors rather than home visits because at the hospital everything is taken care of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125480 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:34:31 +0000 heffalump 125480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We accepted all visitors. But I would just be honest with them. Say you're not feeling up to visitors, you'd like for them to visit later when you're home and settled. If they don't listen to you, tell the nurses and they'll be the bad guys for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/unwanted-guests-visiting-at-hospital#post-125473 Mon, 16 Apr 2012 19:29:27 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 125473@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As I quickly approach my due date, we have been getting lots of questions from family members along the lines of "So, are you going to call us when you're on your way to the hospital?"</p> <p>Of course, we plan on calling both of our parents and will have them contact all of our siblings for us. Although I do not want many guests in our small recovery room, I understand that both of our parents and all of our siblings (12, including their SO's) will insist on visiting. I am OK with that.<br /> However, today my mom said something like this to me: "Hon, you need to know that the word is going to get out that you are in labor. If people know what hospital you are staying at, they will come visit. They won't call you, they will just show up and there really isn't anything you can do about it."<br /> I don't think anything else I have heard this whole pregnancy has freaked me out as much as this statement. We have at least 40 family members who live within 4 miles of the hospital, and I am terrified of them showing up! Really, I don't think anyone has a right to be there without asking first!<br /> What the heck would you do? How do I let so many family members know that I really don't want them visiting? Did this happen to you? What did you do? </p>