https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 21:53:45 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-12578 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 14:07:51 +0000 Mrs.anniebo 12578@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had four tears, none of them to the butthole ( THANK GOD! ) My lo was 6 lbs. 8 oz. , so it had nothing to do with her weight. I also did Kegels daily until 38 weeks. I just dilated the last 4 cm. very very quickly, and tore before I even started pushing.</p> <p>It's fairly common, and most of the time heals quickly. Its something out of your control so try not to worry! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-12520 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 13:20:14 +0000 cyndistar3 12520@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have no idea how often it happens or anything but I can tell you that I did not tear. When pushing we took it very slowly, the midwife used a warm/hot rag and put it on my lady parts to help it stretch and when the crowning happened she had me pause for a few seconds to allow proper stretching.</p> <p>ETA: my baby was 8lbs 15oz , </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-12208 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 10:01:58 +0000 mediagirl 12208@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All I have to say, after reading everyone's comments, is yikes. This is why I fear giving birth!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-12090 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 02:02:10 +0000 looch 12090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I used perineal massage, as mentioned upthread. There's nothing to be freaked out about. It's just side to side motion, doesn't need to be more involved than that.</p> <p>When you think about the alternatives, like tearing or an episiotomy, it's a small investment in your morning routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-12085 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:50:56 +0000 Meridian 12085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Uhmm, I just looked up what a perineal massage is and am kind of freaked out!!! Do a lot of people use this technique?! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-12084 Wed, 09 Nov 2011 00:50:37 +0000 runsyellowlites 12084@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Position has alot to do with it, as mentioned. And you can do kegels &amp; massage to help. Along with pushing when your body tells you (not coached) &amp; NOT clenching your jaw when you push... Apparently your jaw is pretty much connected to your perineum. Clenched jaw = tight (un stretchable) perineum... Relaxed jaw = stretchy perineum... (tmi) but try it when you go poo... Relaxed jaw, breath out through your mouth &amp; your bottom won't feel all tight.</p> <p>And my midwife said that it's usually the shoulders that do it, not the head. She always works so that momma wont tear...She said she'll ease the head out but then "pop" those shoulders just come out &amp; mom tears.</p> <p>It doesn't always happen, &amp; squatting definitely helps for it not too, but she said its "just those shoulders". Lol.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-12025 Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:53:47 +0000 Green Thumb 12025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had such a tiny tear (to the side - towards my inner thigh) that it required no stitches. I also had some pretty brutal stretch marks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-11998 Tue, 08 Nov 2011 21:04:11 +0000 Mrs. Bee 11998@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a second degree tear and olive was only 4 lbs 15oz! I got a lot of stitches because it took 30 min for them to finish and I could see them sewing and sewing and sewing. it sucked the first two weeks but after that I was back to myself. I think most women tear, but most heal pretty quickly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-11989 Tue, 08 Nov 2011 20:55:56 +0000 heffalump 11989@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a 2nd degree tear b/c my baby was 8 lbs 13 oz. </p> <p>I won't lie, it sucked. I didn't get up pretty much the whole hospital stay b/c it was so painful (hubby had to do all the diaper changes and hand me our baby girl whenever I wanted her, I just got up to pee), and I didn't poo for a very long time b/c I was so terrified. I think it took me 3 weeks before I could sit like a normal person again. Maybe I'm just wimpy though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-11298 Tue, 08 Nov 2011 00:04:11 +0000 daniellemybelle 11298@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't have experience with this, but many believe that the position you give birth in has a lot to do with it. Lying on your back with your knees up isn't good for stretching. Apparently women in other cultures that squat to give birth tear much less frequently. Something to consider! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2996 Sat, 08 Oct 2011 07:32:59 +0000 Laneybugsmommy 2996@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a 2nd degree tear that required 4 or 5 stitches, but honestly I think that was because the Dr had to use the vacuum to get the baby out quickly. There was meconium in the fluid when my water broke and baby's heart rate was dropping as I was pushing so Dr said one try with the vacuum and then it would be a episiotomy. My daughter was 6.14 and I think I would have been less likely to tear if pushing wouldn't have gone so fast. I had 3 sets of 3 pushes and there she was. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2980 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 23:16:47 +0000 Killer b 2980@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was faced with either forceps or an episiotomy, and the epi won out. I'd rather hurt me than hurt baby, you know? I just wasn't quite big enough for her to come out easily, even though Charlie was only 7 lb 14 oz, which is hardly large. I had a bad 3rd degree tear, which was pretty much hole to hole. It was bad. The doc stitched me up for over 20 minutes. </p> <p>To ease your fears, not only did I not feel the episiotomy, I didn't feel myself tear. I did, however, feel the stitches, but after birth, they were only a drop in the bucket. The hospital will have pain pills, an ice pack, and nurses to help you pee. The peri bottle they give you is sooooo nice too. And the freezy spray. It helps take the pain away. My guess was things stopped hurting after a few days, with only a little lingering pain over the next couple of weeks. It's really not the end of the world. My scar is hardly even noticeable. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2973 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 22:38:57 +0000 McCashew 2973@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First delivery I tore so badly that I refused to discuss it with the nurses who cared for me during the time we were at the hospital. I didn't want to know the details because the pain and discomfort told me it was bad and that was enough for me. My daughter did not have her shoulders properly delivered because she FLEW out of me. At least that's how I remembered it. Second time, I feared it so badly because the recovery had been so awful and not a single tear. NOT A SINGLE anything. I felt amazing and recovered so much quicker overall. Same mom, two completely different experiences. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2847 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 11:21:32 +0000 chopstixwife 2847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had an all natural birth with no stretch marks and I had small second degree tears with my 8 lb 2.3 oz boy. The stitching of the tear was more painful then giving birth but not as painful as when they inserted the iv in my hand. It didn't sting when I peed either. Overall, I healed pretty quickly. Oh and I was too lazy to do kegels and the resident ob/gyn did try to stretch the vajay-jay (annoying) but still tore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2804 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 07:56:45 +0000 tequiero21 2804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>thanks, ladies. i'm still scared haha, but i feel better and i will DEFINITELY look into those massages. i have been working on kegels when i remember (which isn't too often) but i'll remember to do that better as i get closer to delivery!</p> <p>and itchiness - o boy. i guess it wouldn't look too pretty if i keep scratching my crotch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2803 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 07:50:15 +0000 mrs. wagon 2803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh, I agree-- the stitching from the tears was even worse than childbirth!! It took forever and I kept asking the doctor how many stitches I was getting, and she never gave me a straight answer. I think she didn't want to scare me. :O I never, ever looked down there until I was 100% positive that I was completely healed, several months later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2797 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 03:30:52 +0000 mrsnarbonne 2797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Before I gave birth, I was most worried about tearing, although I didn't bother with perineal massage (too lazy, never got around to it) and remembered to do Kegels only occasionally. To me, childbirth was like the worst constipation ever, so even though I knew I should take my tame, I just wanted to get that big poop...er, my son out. I honestly didn't even notice that I tore until hours after the birth when the doctor asked my doula if I tore and she said "yes" (long story short, I had an unplanned home birth).</p> <p>I was skeptical at first, but I did the Hypnobabies childbirth preparation method (figured it wouldn't hurt) and it helped a lot. Childbirth was relatively easy, it was receiving the stitches (even with local anesthesia) that was more painful - I think because I wasn't mentally prepared when the doctor started sewing me up. Anyways, in the end, the tearing wasn't such a big deal (I had a 2nd degree tear.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2795 Fri, 07 Oct 2011 02:24:19 +0000 looch 2795@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a first degree tear that required 4 stitches. I was also mortified of an episiotomy, so I tried to prepare by doing daily perineal massage beginning at 34 weeks. I did it right after my morning shower and I think I missed only one day.<br /> The midwives attending my birth were stunned I didn't tear more, in fact, the tearing was along the top, not the bottom where I massaged.<br /> Those 4 stitches were itchy like crazy for 6 weeks post partum though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2756 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 20:03:29 +0000 chopsuey 2756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had 3rd degree tears and an 8 lb 1 oz baby. I pushed for about 2 hours. -.-<br /> I totally agree with @ohapostrophe.<br /> It sounds horrible, but it really wasn't that bad. I didn't even have to take pain medication. :)<br /> If I were you and the babies are both head down, I'd totally give birth vaginally. You're gonna be on a baby high (times 2) and recovery's so much faster and less painful if you deliver naturally.<br /> I was really scared about pushing and tearing too, but once I went into labor, I didn't even think about the possibility of tearing. I just wanted my baby out!<br /> Literally 5 minutes after I pushed my baby out my husband asked "so, you wanna do this again?" (after 12 hours of labor) Without hesitation I told him YES!<br /> :D </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2749 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 19:45:48 +0000 mrs. wagon 2749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was so unbelievably scared of tearing that I did kegels religiously every day during my third trimester. Don't bother starting earlier. My theory is that kegels work because I only tore going UP toward the belly (not DOWN toward the butthole) which the doctor said was the best kind of tear, because it heals much more quickly and it doesn't sting when you pee. Also, even though I tore, I still think the kegels worked because I pushed for 3 hours and my son never even crowned. The doc had to go inside and put the vacuum on him and pull him out as I pushed. The reason was because of my son's huge head-- 98th percentile since before he was born. So I think I would have torn no matter what, because his big head came out all in one quick shot. </p> <p>Also-- to someone else's point-- I have MAJOR stretch mark damage (even to this day, almost 2 years after giving birth) so maybe that is related to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2707 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 16:25:28 +0000 yin 2707@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bykes187: Being in a comfortable position and taking your time makes logical sense. I pushed for almost 3 hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2702 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 16:19:58 +0000 bykes187 2702@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tore a little (I think maybe one second degree?). I didn't ask and didn't really want to know. Recovery was not too bad (recovery almost always sucks anyway), and I've since had a few issues with scar tissue stretching out or being painful after "activity". But nothing big.</p> <p>I think the biggest thing for prevention's sake is to push in a position where you're comfortable (and you and baby are safe, obviously), and to not try to push too fast. As long as the baby is doing okay, it is just fine (though not always popular with doctors...) to take your time over pushing, even taking breaks to "breathe the baby down". Even if you're not trying for a super natural, "crunchy" birth, I'd check out some blogs of midwives or natural birthing sites about what they have to say on tearing.</p> <p>And of course, sometimes, you're just gonna tear. I think severe tears are mostly preventable, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2680 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 15:00:24 +0000 ohapostrophe 2680@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was 8lbs,11oz and my tear was 3rd degree. It sounds awful but honestly it was not THAT bad (and I was unmedicated). It will heal and it's not worth worrying that much about. Try not to think about it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2679 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:58:04 +0000 geekinheels 2679@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There will always be debates on whether getting an episiotomy vs tearing naturally, because it really does depend on the person and the type of tear! And while there are things that can HELP prevent tears (or HELP lessen their severity), they are not guaranteed.</p> <p>If you are still interested, the things that I have read might help are: kegel exercises, perineal massages before and during labor, in addition to introducing things like evening primrose oil or devices that are designed to help you stretch down there.</p> <p>I had a 2nd degree tear with my 6lb 7oz baby and it was not fun. I had been using evening primrose oil through the last weeks of my pregnancy, and the doctor gave me perineal massages while I was pushing, but I still ended up tearing...and I'm pretty sure that it's because the baby came out so fast! Like Bakingabug said above, I don't think it would have been quite as bad if I didn't push SO hard. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2676 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:47:12 +0000 yin 2676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a very small tear that did not require stitches. My baby weighed 5 lbs 13 oz... so he was a tiny one. I was lazy and didn't do kegel's or perineal massages. I also didn't have stretch marks until the very end of my pregnancy because my LO was a serious kicker. </p> <p>When I tell older women that I didn't have an episiotomy, they are always in shock. It was normal practice to have one when delivering vaginally. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2670 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:40:39 +0000 miranlee 2670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've been told that it's better to tear than to opt for an episiotomy, when the time comes, bc you may just tear a little and need a few stitches vs. the dr. making a deep cut and requiring many more stitches. My midwife also told me that waterbirths result in less tearing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2654 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 14:02:22 +0000 Mrs. Sunglasses 2654@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I tore at the 2nd degree but had a 9 lbs baby. It also depends on your skin. A good indication might be stretch marks. I don't have elastic-y skin so I had stretchmarks, so I expected to tear. My friend had no stretch marks and tore just a little. Maybe it has a direct impact. Who knows. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2647 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:57:15 +0000 bakingAbug 2647@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>There is perineal massage that they do during labor to help you avoid extreme tearing but from what I have read, it's more about maintaining control and giving your body enough time to stretch with out forcefully pushing the baby put. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2637 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:46:48 +0000 Wondermommy 2637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>As for how often, and why, eh, who knows? The reasons are multiple, and I'm sure you could consult a pro for the specific medical reasons, but the simplest answer is physics. The muscle(s) are literally being stretched past their capacity. </p> <p>The best thing to help prevent tearing is kegels and perineal massages. It won't always be a guarantee that these will stop you from tearing, but it could make them less likely, or less severe. Talk with your OB about it when the time comes, and don't rule out an episiotomy. Sometimes, the episiotomy will be your best bet, as far as healing goes, because a straight incision will heal better/faster than a ragged tear, in most cases.<br /> I had an episiotomy with my oldest, but my youngest popped out no prob, no cuts or tearing, lol. Guess his big bro 'paved the way' so to speak, even if they were several years apart hahaha! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vaginal-deliveries-amp-tears#post-2626 Thu, 06 Oct 2011 13:31:02 +0000 tequiero21 2626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>just curious - those of you who have given birth vaginally - just how often do tears happen? and why does it happen? (is there any way to prevent)... i just told my husband this morning that i think i'll try to give birth to our twins naturally, unless one of the babies is not facing the correct way. tears definitely scare me. someone i knew ripped it so bad it almost went down to her butthole. i'm SCARED! but like my husband has said, trillions of women have done this over time. i know i know, but i'm still scared. </p>