https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 27 Jun 2026 15:53:20 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2614000 Wed, 31 Aug 2016 11:44:15 +0000 oldsoulmama 2614000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mediagirl: Does she have a favorite toy from the old class that she could bring to the new class? My littles seem to do better when something that's familiar to them is with them at all times. It could even be a book or a favorite mat. Maybe you could ask the teacher if they could allow this for her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613465 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 13:56:48 +0000 Maysprout 2613465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try to commiserate but also explain the why in a positive way. </p> <p>Like this classroom is set up for kids that do x, y, z but in the time you've been there you've gotten a lot bigger, stronger, and smarter so they want you to use those big muscles and put all your smarts to use and they have another classroom set up for kids that have grown. Plus other kids that were just toddling around before need a chance to grow more in your old classroom. My kids usually ask lots of questions then and I latch on and direct the conversation in whatever they seem to be more focusing on.</p> <p>Also sometimes they just need to cry. My dd had a few good cries about leaving her old teacher and I said we could write her or even visit once in awhile. And I think it was good for her to know we didn't have to say bye forever but really she just needed to cry a few times and that be ok. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613439 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 13:30:28 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 2613439@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When my son was having a difficult time with his classroom, I had to stop offering up my own "solutions" to the problem (such as pointing out the positives, talking about how her friends were doing it too, etc). It made him shut down after a while. I think none of those things made him feel better but he *thought* he should feel better because I was telling him to, so he started to pretend like it was okay (and the emotions came out in all sorts of other weird places).<br /> When we stopped trying to help and started just listening with empathy ("It must feel really hard to be in your classroom. I'm so sorry you had a tough day.") he began to open up more and we were able to figure out the real issues (which, I'm guessing her issue is just not being comfortable with change).<br /> I'd suggest trying not to "help" her adjust and just be with her and her feelings. If it takes more than 2ish weeks for her to adjust, maybe talk with the teachers to see if there's a specific struggle she's having. And, without telling her why, you could ready some "starting a new school/making new friends/etc" books to give her subtle exposure to the idea that people are uncertain of new situations, but become comfortable over time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613423 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 13:16:21 +0000 PinkElephant 2613423@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't normally advocate "peer pressure", but in this case could you talk with her about a friend who has already moved up, or is moving up at the same time? I'd structure the conversation as one of those things we don't have a choice about like "I know you liked being a Bear, but when Bears turn three, they move up to the next class. Caleb turned three, and now he's a Monkey (or whatever). And when Genevieve turns three, she'll get to come be a Monkey with you, too." Or if they are all moving together, perhaps remind her that all the three year olds are going to a new room, but it'll still be their "same class" - and it will be all new/little kids in the old classroom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613400 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 12:55:12 +0000 Cole 2613400@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately my experience has been similar to the others in that validating helps but is a show process. Have you asked how you can help? Even my almost 2 year old has given me ideas I didn't arrive at on my own. Maybe offer to help her do something to commemorate the change? If it's another animal name for the next group maybe a new stuffed animal? Or a stuffed bear to remind her of her old group? Photo album? Maybe even a good luck charm, apparently research even shows that if you believe it's lucky then it actually is for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613392 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 12:47:08 +0000 hilsy85 2613392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have found that validating feelings DOES help--it allows them to get out/express the negative emotions, which means they can begin to work through them. It may not be a quick process unfortunately :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613354 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 12:01:37 +0000 yoursilverlining 2613354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've done similar to @Silva; with validating her feelings and then giving an example from my own life about a time I felt similarly (like in changing a job, etc.) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613343 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 11:53:57 +0000 Silva 2613343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When we were helping my daughter prepare for a similar transition we talked about it a lot. All the different feelings she might have, etc. I found it helpful to talk about transitions in my life, like starting a new job, and how I felt (nervous, anxious, excited). You might consider telling her a made up story about someone who goes through a similar transition. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613335 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 11:47:59 +0000 avivoca 2613335@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you can validate her feelings, but I'm not sure there is much you can do to help her. It's a non-negotiable thing. She has to move up, it's going to happen. I always tell H, "I'm so sorry you feel that way and it is okay to be sad, but this is not a choice you get to make." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/validating-feelings-while-also-helping#post-2613309 Tue, 30 Aug 2016 11:18:50 +0000 mediagirl 2613309@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My daughter's class at daycare is transitioning to the next classroom this week. They have 3 days of transition this week and next week they start full time in their new group. </p> <p>She's having a terrible time of it. She doesn't want to go to school. She doesn't want to be in Mrs. M's class. "I just want to stay a Bear, mommy." She's acting out and her attitude has completely changed. She's just so sad.</p> <p>Help me figure out how best to validate her feelings while also hopefully helping her. </p> <p>I continue to validate her feelings, talk about the cool things in the next class, remind her friends are moving with her, etc. What else can I do? </p>