https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 09:12:39 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2785053 Wed, 08 Nov 2017 12:12:29 +0000 littlejoy 2785053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: That's exactly the situation!! People have started asking if we're having another (LO2 is only 3 months old!!). With my first, I remember going out to dinner (I still had stitches), and someone asked me when we were having the next one. People are so weirdly inappropriate. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784932 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 20:08:27 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2784932@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: aw well in that case just ignore! I can understand their reasoning but it's such a personal decision! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784882 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 16:23:45 +0000 daniellemybelle 2784882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is why we haven't shared too much about my husband's scheduled vasectomy. People just suck. Of course when we say we are done sometimes they'll say, "Never say never! You better take care of that!" And we just smile and say nothing, because we are, but the few times we've said, "Oh, he's getting snipped," eyeballs fall out of heads.</p> <p>I get moments of cold feet already and take comfort in the fact that vasectomies are almost always reversible, if it came to that. But I know we're done and it's going to be so nice to have that peace of mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784745 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 10:27:23 +0000 Boogs 2784745@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: I’m curious about the cost! Ours is next week. :)</p> <p>@littlejoy: Unless people want to grow your baby for you, gift birth for you, and financially support it for life, they have no say. I’m curious how things go for you, ours will be next week and so far no one knows! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784705 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 07:41:00 +0000 Adira 2784705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I agree - the "what if" something happens to one of both of my children is the reason we're holding off on any permanent birth control. I'm young enough to start over if necessary and I can't imagine not having a family... It's not something I like thinking about, but it's definitely a big reason we're waiting. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784691 Tue, 07 Nov 2017 00:54:04 +0000 littlejoy 2784691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@2littlepumpkins: @PawPrints: @birdofafeather: I will say, I think it's really more of people projecting their own situations onto us. It's less of "you guys are making a bad decision" and more of "I can't believe he's willing to do that" and "Oh, we'd be too afraid something would happen!" ... I don't really give a crap what people express to us, but I do find it crazy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784676 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 21:03:03 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2784676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't believe people think they have a say!</p> <p>If you're sure, you're sure. It's really not their business. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784658 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 19:19:52 +0000 erinbaderin 2784658@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would only caution that if you’re not 1000% sure, don’t get a vasectomy done thinking you can undo it later. My husband mentioned that to his doctor and he stressed very seriously that they aren’t necessarily reversible, and you should not go in thinking that you’ll be able to change your mind. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784650 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 18:25:04 +0000 QBbride 2784650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm surprised at all the push back you're receiving! If you guys both feel you're done and happy with your decision, I'd go for it! I know many couples who have chosen permanent birth control when they know their family is complete and I don't think many people question it. When you know, you know! Also you can't possibly always plan for the "what ifs" in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784636 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 17:49:58 +0000 PawPrints 2784636@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Um, always nice to know that your loved ones are entertaining fantasy scenarios about you getting divorced or losing a child? :sad: </p> <p>This is pretty shocking to me; where I live it's almost the opposite, that if you say you're done having kids people assume you must be getting a vasectomy or tubal ligation or at least looking into it. Why wouldn't you. So inappropriate and not their business for anybody to try to convince you otherwise. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784635 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 17:40:14 +0000 hellobeeboston 2784635@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DH is going to be 41, and I will be 38 this year, and we have decided to go this route in the next year or so... we've also heard some of that from some people, but others around the same age as us are like, GO FOR IT. haha. I feel fairly certain we won't have any regrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784628 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 17:17:36 +0000 birdofafeather 2784628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry, but eff that noise. The only people who get a say in my family planning is myself and DH. </p> <p>And if a loved one brought up, what if i get divorced i would probably leave them out of any future convos. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784627 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 17:14:21 +0000 Mrs. D 2784627@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am FINALLY pregnant with #2 now after two years of trying. We decided a LONG time ago that our finances will not allow a family with three kids, even though that's what we originally planned. When this one's nearly born DH will get snipped with no regrets. We are now 38 years old, it's time to be done for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784626 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 17:00:28 +0000 ScarletBegonia 2784626@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm just 11 weeks pregnant with #2 so still in somewhat of the danger zone for miscarriage, but I would take permanent measures tomorrow if I could, vasectomy or tubal ligation. There is no way my marriage, mental health, house or finances could handle 3 kids and the less risk there is of this accidentally happening the better. We will explore permanent options as soon as possible after #2 is born - if I end up with an emergency C-section for whatever reason I will ask that they tie my tubes. I think it sucks that people are questioning your decision, but I also think you're well within your rights to shoot those people down and say that it is none of their business. You are not affecting their ability to have children, therefore they have no say. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784622 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 16:40:48 +0000 lamariniere 2784622@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are very firm in our decision of being done at two and are LOs are 3 and 6. Regardless of any what if’s, I know I never want to be pregnant again and as my DH is already 40 and I’m approaching my late 30s, our baby making days are definitely over. My DH is supposed to schedule a vasectomy soon and I cannot wait. I’ve been dealing with an IUD that I don’t particularly love ever since our youngest was born, and am anxious to have it removed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784619 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 16:32:10 +0000 littlejoy 2784619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you to everyone for your input. So many reassuring thoughts here!! </p> <p>We have two amazing kids (and yes, LO2 is only 3 months old), and we are just so sure they are the pieces to our complete family. </p> <p>If I was independently wealthy, I might consider a 3rd, but I'd also need to be unconscious for the pregnancy and birth in order to handle it! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784610 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 16:17:34 +0000 Mamatimes3 2784610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: I remember seeing that family on Oprah years ago. </p> <p>If you are 100% go for it. I had my tubes tied after #3, but I'm older and no way could handle 4. But I also think of it as I can't get pregnant anymore. But if some crazy WTF event happened I could have a baby again through IVF. My ovaries and uterus are still there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784575 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 15:34:16 +0000 ShootingStar 2784575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had my tubes tied at my 2nd c-section. There is pretty much no argument that will make we want to get pregnant again. As things are now, I can't do 3 kids. Even if we got divorced and even if both of our kids passed away, I just can't do pregnancy again. </p> <p>If we feel the need to add to our family we will go the foster to adopt route. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784569 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 15:23:40 +0000 agold 2784569@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: Oh, got it! That makes sense! Such a bummer. So freezing sperm is something even more that I will consider. I didn't even think of that before!</p> <p> @Mae: Yep. I understand your viewpoint. And really.. no one should be making "arguments" over this issue. It's such a personal choice. And one person's thoughts on it are no more or less "wtf" than anyone else's thoughts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784557 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:55:18 +0000 Mae 2784557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: i mean, i'm not saying people don't do it. people can do whatever they want. but i don't like it as an argument because it feels a little too simple. like you lose a kid so you just have another? i'm certain it's not that simple. and I don't want to plan around that anyways. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784555 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:53:06 +0000 Mrs D 2784555@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@agold: No - not to my knowledge. I have 3 close girlfriends who husbands have had vasectomy's reversed only to end up not so lucky...they dont always work once reversed... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784553 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:50:07 +0000 agold 2784553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs D: Are there different kinds of vasectomies? Like reversible ones or permanent ones? I had no idea! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784551 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:46:46 +0000 Mrs D 2784551@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlejoy: I'm having lunch with the friend who suggested it to me. I'm going to get all her info! I'll pass it along!</p> <p>@agold: Yes, you would just pay for an IUI should you ever decide to move forward. :)</p> <p>We are certain we do not want any more kids in our current situation, but who knows what could happen and if circumstances were different, I could maybe consider it.</p> <p>Also - I know in theory vasectomy's are reversible but I have watched too many friends not have them be reversible to bank of that. So for me, I am more comfortable taking measures ahead of time to not worry about reversing it! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784550 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:46:19 +0000 agold 2784550@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: Yes, to being independently wealthy! Give me all the babies!!! Oh, wait. I'm not wealthy? Okay, two will have to do. Husband, please go get snipped. &lt;-- That is our thinking! :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784549 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:45:36 +0000 MrsLonghorn 2784549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My OB is adamant that no one do anything permanent for 5 years, but she will happily give me a 5-year IUD until then. She says too many people come back after 3-4 years and have changed their mind...</p> <p>That said, we're 1-and-done, and have never once wavered in that. DH will be getting his vasectomy soon. MANY of the husbands in my neighborhood mom group have already done it, and rave about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784548 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:44:55 +0000 agold 2784548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mae: Having another child after a child dies is something that some people do, so I don't think its a "wtf kind of argument". I understand your sentiment though. But google the Coble family accident. Its a terribly sad situation and I don't think we would know what we would want to do unless we were in such a horrible situation, which hopefully none of us ever is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784547 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:41:12 +0000 agold 2784547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anya: :silly: next wife's problem later on!! :silly: bahahah! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784539 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:33:19 +0000 erinbaderin 2784539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband had a vasectomy when our second baby was three months old. Shortly after that I saw something that said you should wait five years after you've decided to not have any more kids, which made me laugh. We basically had talked it out and knew that for us, financially and lifestyle-wise, two kids made sense, so we just did it.</p> <p>I right now am in an emotional "Oh man, I want another baby!" mood because my youngest is barrelling toward two, but that's purely "I want a snuggly newborn", and not "I would like to live the rest of my life as a three child family" (which, actually, I WOULD like, if I was independently wealthy, but I am not). So yeah, we have no regrets. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784529 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:16:57 +0000 Mae 2784529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Same! My husband's vasectomy is scheduled Dec. 11. We just had our second on Sept 25. I feel like some people think it's too soon, but this was always the plan. We wanted 2 kids. We have 2 kids. Neither of us has ever had baby fever, our first pregnancy was a surprise and the second was planned based on reason, not emotion. I have had complications with both births, the second one was potentially life threatening. I would be TERRIFIED to get pregnant again at this point. I never want another baby. My husband never wants another baby. And if we lost one of our kids, that's a thing we'd never recover from and having another kid wouldn't replace them anyways so wtf kind of argument is that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vasectomy-without-regret#post-2784527 Mon, 06 Nov 2017 14:14:46 +0000 Anya 2784527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband got snipped when our youngest was a few months old. No regrets. We wanted two children, eventually accomplished that, and now we're out. It's actually very freeing to have made this decision and committed. Now we can focus on savoring these young years. If his next wife wants a baby later on that's her problem :silly: </p>