https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 02:19:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239239 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 09:02:58 +0000 Honeybee 1239239@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband has a co-worker who constantly makes comments like this. Super annoying. On the other hand, there's a reason he's 25 and has never had a second date with the same woman... :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239229 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 08:56:51 +0000 ElbieKay 1239229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So why are you friends with this person? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239221 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 08:48:05 +0000 Happygal 1239221@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I was going to use that same phrase! Sounds like he was trying to get a rise out of you--some people love doing that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239198 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 08:32:44 +0000 Urchin 1239198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HellOnHeels: hahaha... yah i totally misinterpreted that! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239178 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 08:16:31 +0000 delight 1239178@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's because of these stereotypes that I feel the pressure to keep a neat and tidy home and fix dinner while taking care of LO. My DH doesn't even care if the house is tidy, but I do try to do it all and be is appreciative. However, unlike the aforementioned friend, my DH will help out when needed. Taking care of a child is a lot of work, and I have a relatively "easy" baby. I think there is something to be said about a man who can cook a meal and help clean up. That's way more attractive to me than someone who comes home from work and just "puts his feet up." I go back to work in March and DH will take 3 months off with the baby then. I know he will try hard to do the household duties while looking after LO, but I will help as much as I can too. Teamwork is so important. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239170 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 08:08:12 +0000 JerricaBenton 1239170@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree that a lot of men (and women!)assume being a SAHM is a vacation before they actually have kids. I tend to do most of the housework, cooking, shopping etc. Luckily my husband works from home a lot so he sees exactly what I do to keep everything running. I expect that a lot of household stuff and caring for LO is my job and I do it happily. The great thing is that my husband wants to be with LO when he's home and help me when he can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239156 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 07:49:44 +0000 Lindsay05 1239156@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: thats tue there are. DH works week on, week off so when he is on his week off, I go into work so he does the parenting. The first day he did it he loved it and thought it was so easy. However, now he has had to go through those bad days where LO is whining all day. He fully understands how hard it is trying to stay on top of things. Maybe I will rephrase my statement 'BOTH parents should try spending a day or two at home alone'. ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239150 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 07:38:11 +0000 mrbee 1239150@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Lindsay05: there are a lot of SAH dads out there!!</p> <p> @HellOnHeels: That person sounds like he was maybe trying to get a rise out of you!! How annoying.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239129 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 06:21:45 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1239129@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yin: I'll hold him down for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239109 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 05:22:54 +0000 Andrea 1239109@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yuck, that's not cool!</p> <p>That being said ... I am a SAHM and DH does come home and put his feet up many nights! He works very long hours outside of the home. But if I want him to do something, I just ask and then he's more than happy to help! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239101 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 04:52:11 +0000 yin 1239101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would like to personally slap him in the face and maybe even kick him in the balls. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1239090 Sun, 24 Nov 2013 03:56:43 +0000 Kimberlybee 1239090@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That's insanity. He has no idea! Hasn't he heard that "It takes a village to raise a child" and this is totally true! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238764 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 21:22:32 +0000 Lindsay05 1238764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think all men should spend a day at home alone with a child and see just how 'on top' of things they can be. They can probably do it for a day, but by the third day they would be so grumpy and tired. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238761 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 21:19:36 +0000 MamaMoose 1238761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yikes. When I was on mat leave I DID handle all the cooking and cleaning and felt that was very fair. But I certainly did not handle all the baby duties in the evening/on the weekend. Hubs helped care for our daughter because he WANTED too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238754 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 21:17:36 +0000 HellOnHeels 1238754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Urchin: No no, oh geez sorry! I was agreeing with you! Stupid lack of tone on the interwebz... I meant what my friend was getting at irks me, the EXPECTATION that we as woman should be superwomen/moms. Like I said, whatever works for you and each couple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238730 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 21:05:15 +0000 Mrs squirreld 1238730@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a SAHM. Damn straight I CAN do it all... But my one thought is... My husband WANTS to help. He wants to take bub and hang with him, he wants to bath him and change him. I hope that when he has kids he WANTS to help out and not see the division. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238713 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 20:55:52 +0000 Ra 1238713@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband had a similar view of SAHMs prior to us having LO. When I was pregnant, I BEGGED him to let me stay at home and he wanted nothing to do with the idea. He was always of the mindset that SAHMs just sit around the house all day and do nothing.</p> <p>And then we had DS. It didn't take him long to realize just. how. much. work. this kid is. It is a 24/7 job and you are always on. He WAHD and thought he would be able to handle it without any issue.</p> <p>Needless to say, I am now a SAHM!</p> <p>Men can be so dense! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238672 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 20:31:31 +0000 Urchin 1238672@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HellOnHeels: ...I said 'to each their own.'<br /> That's what works for us. I just don't understand why my explanation irks you.</p> <p>That's just how I view things. My husband didn't really expect me to do any of that, I just felt that's what I should be doing, and that's what I did :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238628 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:54:39 +0000 googly-eyes 1238628@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HellOnHeels: He's totally clueless... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238625 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:50:29 +0000 Foodnerd81 1238625@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hummusgirl: I'm a sahm and honestly, I couldn't even tell you what I do all day! So I get how people don't understand, but I guarantee I'm not sittig around getting my nails done. </p> <p>That's an annoying attitude either way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238615 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:43:47 +0000 hummusgirl 1238615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I can't believe I'm defending him, but to be fair, before I had a kid I had NO CLUE what it entailed. I hope he marries someone who makes him pull his weight, have days solo with the kids, etc., so he can see how much time a kid really takes up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238607 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:38:32 +0000 ILoveLettie 1238607@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Maybe it's the fact that (from your post, I'm inferring this) he has no kids or wife of his own yet and is living in la-la land based on stereotypes, TV, and maybe his own parent's examples? I think the role of a SAHM is one that a lot of people are just clueless about--especially those with no kids of their own! Don't let it irk you too much! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238592 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 19:30:03 +0000 HellOnHeels 1238592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Urchin: Whatever works for you, right? But that expectation right off the bat just irks me. Maybe because I grew up in a home where my parents shared responsibilities around the home and with us kids while my mom was a SAHM. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238546 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 18:44:33 +0000 Urchin 1238546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A lot of men are quite dense when it comes to this kinda thing. They don't really get it...that and they speak before they really think... lol</p> <p>Honestly, when I was a SAHM during my first year of mommyhood (on mat-leave), I agreed with your friend and I did everything around the house. I cleaned, cooked, looked after LO. That was my domain and that is what worked for us.</p> <p>To each their own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238528 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 18:28:30 +0000 Cole 1238528@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yuck, I feel like some people just like rocking the boat. Subjects like that are easy prey because if you were to add up the time it should take to keep a kid alive daily it should be quick-turns out there is more to it than that! Hopefully one day he will see the error of his thinking, I just don't recommend using him as a babysitter! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238527 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 18:26:39 +0000 blackbird 1238527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope he finds himself a 1950's housewife lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-friend-thinks-moms-should-do-it-all#post-1238517 Sat, 23 Nov 2013 18:11:36 +0000 HellOnHeels 1238517@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Needless to say this friend is a guy. He was pretty much telling me that because I want to be a SAHM I shouldn't expect or even ask DH to help around the house or with the baby. That he should be able to "come home after work and put his feet up", his words. That a kid doesn't take up that much time that the woman can't clean and cook on top of taking care of said kid, by herself. </p> <p>Infuriating. I feel for the woman that he marries and has a child with. It's unfortunate that there's still people out there with that kind of mindset. </p>