Hellobee Boards Topic: Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 08 Apr 2026 21:22:16 +0000 irene on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660878 Fri, 02 Dec 2016 21:00:36 +0000 irene 2660878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I read your opening post and I am a little confused. So your husband is a westerner / non Asian (right?). He wants to be a vegetarian for the next 4 years. And you are concerned because he may not have enough iron and you don't know what to cook for him? If my assumption is correct, I want to say, him being skinny has nothing to do with him being a vegetarian. He's not going to crack and die. Imagine not all monks are stick thin, and I personally know men who are lifelong vegetarians. I myself was a vegetarian for a year in college. So no need to worry about that. And... who cares what vegetarian means in western and Asian culture? Vegetarian basically means "no meat". it is not particularly that you have to eat and only eat vegetables. No it's not that. It means you can't eat meat. What you are cooking is perfectly fine. Maybe add tofu to your food in the place of meat. In terms of iron, you don't get it only from meat... you get iron from dark leafy greens, whole grains, beans (as in black beans, pinto beans, kidney beans, you name it, tofu, nuts, sunflower seeds, and that's just from my 2 minute google search. hahaha. Can you do some google search? You get your protein from these foods too. So to answer your poll, of course, why would you not "let" your husband be a vegetarian? ETA: OK I read a bit of your reply post to all. Hmm. I am guessing maybe it would be a good idea for you to go out and make some friends? You may be feeling a bit lonely when he goes out to work and all you need to do is "cook, wash a bit of dishes and be his "wife" <--- whatever that means. Just go out and find a hobby, meet some friends, enjoy the city, go to the museum, take a class. Go for a jog, yoga. Go volunteer, help the needy. Don't overthink on what you are cooking and not cooking and what is he eating and not eating. You are doing fine. thestairs on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660547 Fri, 02 Dec 2016 08:47:35 +0000 thestairs 2660547@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thank you everyone for your reply/comment help give me advice, also thank you for vote on the poll. Happy weekend and Happy Holidays to everyone. And thank you Ms. T.h.o.u. for your advice, noted and will follow.. I remember your screenname, you help give me advice in my previous threads before. Thank you again Ms. T.h.o.u. Happy Holidays to you and your family. thestairs on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660495 Fri, 02 Dec 2016 05:24:21 +0000 thestairs 2660495@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @Ms. Erinbaderin, I do cook everyday, I mean I eat the food too. And what I cook is just my culture food, he never ask me to cook anything specific for him, he said he eats anything I cook. (If he wants to eat those Vietnamese vegeterian food for 4 years, I don't mind cook it for him). He eat the same food as me, and we eat rice pretty much everyday. Me add in a bowl of vegetables for him. Or make him a side of tofu so he can eat it with his bowl of steamed rice. Or put vegetables on top of his plate of noodles/vermicelli. To me it not hard or tired. He not picky on food, at.all.. He eats anything I cook. Food to him is precious. Perhaps it because my husband (homalande)--he come from a small, war-torn country (Sierra Leone, West Africa). Beside it a warptorn country, it also one of the poorest country in Africa and in the world.. It has the highest infant mortality rate, and lowest life expectancy. Half of the children there died before the pre-school age. And around 80% of the population there still live in extreme povery.. Alot of hunger children there, alot of poor povery people there. They don't even have food to eat. Eventhough him and his older sister born in the U.S (so that make him and his older sister first generation here) but his parents come straight from West Africa. His parents raised them in their West African culture.. I dunno, but he just never picky on food. ........ His dad deceased when he was little, (even a little ant still want to live. I'm sure nobody want to die and leave their wife and children.. It must be devastated when your little and have your dad taken away from you forever). because his dad deceased, he was raised by two women: his mom and his older sister. His mother just have her way to raised him, I dunno. My husband work 10-12 a day just so I can live a comfy life without have to worried about financial.. I know in the HCOL state California; have a DH that work long hours it very common--here every household there got to be one person who work their butt off just so their wife and kids can have a comfy life.. I live a stable steady and comfy life, it all thank you to him. Everything I have right now/the comfy life I'm living right now is he gives me. Me--as a wife, at least I should have a meal cook and ready for him so when he gets home from a long day of work he has fresh food to eat. --------------------------------------- @Adira, yes, I pretty much let him have it his ways so he can be happy, like you said let him do whatever he wants--it not like he hurting anything. And when you married someone, you married their quirks and habbits too right? Eversince I married him. All I have to do is cook him Chinese/Vietnamese food, and wash a bit of dishes. And be his wife.. (All he ask me for is cook him homemade food so he have food to eat when he comes home from work. And ask me to be his wife). After eating he the one that clean the kitchen; after done clean the kitchen, he join help me finished the dishes, he finished it up for me. He do laundry. He do cleaning around the house, do maintenance. He do all the vacuum, mopping, sweeping, take out the trash, housework things he do. He the one that scrub and clean the toilet bowl. Never once he let me clean the toilet or clean the bathroom.. He said things like do laundry, clean bathroom scrub the the toilet it 'his' job--the husband job. He specificly said those two task are 'his' job, he wants to be the one that do it. I never have to clean the toilet/bathroom, he do it all.. Heck, even buy toilet paper is he bought. I just want me go and flush. ----In our house he is the one that do laundry, he specificly said he wants to do it. I let him have it 'his' ways, it not like bully me or anything.. And it sure not worth it an argument over something like this. Me and him we have different way of doing laundry.. The way 'me'--I do laundry is I just throw everything in the washer/dryer. When done i just throw everything mix together in the baskets. That just how I do it. ........... Him? No. The way he do laundry is the opposite of me. Back in Fall 2014, I agreed to move in together. We got married on Feb 6th, 2015 (so we got married 2 years ago, 22 months to be exact) and he always the one that do laundry, and still do laundry.. He said he wants to do my laundry, he 'wants' to do our laundry; not just his only but do mine and his together. He said he doesn't want to see his 'wife' carry heavy laundry, and said doing laundry is his job--the husband job. I'm only 4'11" short height, perhaps he thinks I'm too short and not want me to carry heavy laundry? I dunno. He make the bed, washing bed sheets comforters blankets. He wash our clothes--he do laundry loads, washing and drying. When done washing drying. He sort and fold the clean clothes into the baskets. He sort all our clothes and fold neatly into the baskets. Heck, my bra and underwear he still sort and fold. gahh.. my socks he still fold, you know like put into pairs. When all done, he carry the clean laundry baskets to the bedroom for me.. He said he just wants his 'wife' to help put clothes in the drawers, hang it up in the closet, and help iron some clothes if needed. When it laundry days, he always make sure he have laundry done for me before he go to work.. Laundry is all he do--from do to finish. And he sort and fold the clean clothes put it in the baskets, and carry it to the bedroom for me. He just won't let me carry heavy laundry. okay, I know he want to be the one that do laundry, so I let him.. I do try to help, I ask him how can I help? And he said if I want to help--cook him something do eat, so when laundry done we eat together. So he do laundry and I cook. I do cook for him. He work alot, so I said let me take over the cooking job. ----TMI, Sorry. Warning: TMI ahead.. The thing is I'm not a neat person. I just throw my used clothes/underwear into the hamper. When he see my underwear with period blood stains on it, (I always use pads).. He handwash my underwear to get the blood stains off for me. I guess he doesn't want the blood stain stay dried up, because dried blood stain it harder to removed? Dunno. But he would handwash to get the blood stains off for me.. Anyways, my underwear get wash twice. First by his hand to get the blood stain off, and then second by machine wash when he do our laundry together. In all fairness, it wasn't alot of blood. It just blood stain on the heaviest menstrual day (second day) when it leak from my pads to my underwear. okay, even the weeks that No menstrual. But you know we women have natural vaginal discharge/cervical mucus--so yeah those stuff on my used panties, and he handwash my underwear for me. I asked him and his reasoning is the machine laundry don't wash the underwear clean enough. Perhaps that's why he handwash my panties first, and then the machine wash it second? I dunno. No, he doesn't do anything kinky to my panties. (He not a kinky guy at.all., He very Vanilla, and loving and caring in bed; just like his love-idiot self outside of bed). He just handwash my underwear. He said he have nothing to be embarrassed of that he handwash his "wife" underwear.. He doesn't see anything embarrassing about it. His reasoning always--he said he have nothing to be embarrassed of because I'm his 'wife'. ----He work long hours (on weekdays he work 10-12 hours a day).. He very important on family eating together. He wants us to make the effort to eat together. We do eat together ervreyday.. After eat, he cleans the kitchen, and I wash dishes. He cleans and wipes all the cooking oil splatters and stains. make sure the kitchen appliances, stoves ovens are clean. When he done clean the kitchen; he join help me with the dishes, he finished it up for me. And after he done finished the dishes, he wipes dry all the water spots that was left on the kitchen countertop from washing dishes. Me? Pfffffffffff! I leave water spots on the kitchen countertop after I wash dishes. Him? No. ----First time fry food when living with him, because of my 4'11" short height, the hot oil when frying splashes all over my my neck.. He came out of the shower saw my red from the oil plashes, he puts ointment on for me and said let 'him' do the frying from now on. If the meal have fry food, wait he gets home from work and he'll fry it for me, and we eat dinner together. He said he doesn't want to see hot oil splash on my neck, so let him do it.. He fine with me cook for him; but if that day food need alot of oil to fry, he wants me to just leave the food ready in the fridge. And when he comes home from work he fry it--he wants it this way, he said he doesn't want to see hot oil splash on my neck like last time. ----He always carry everything for me. He doesn't let me carried a bag of grocery, or carried laundry. He just won't let me carried anything heavy, at all. Everything on the kitchen shelves/kitchen cabinet, he purposely put it all within my petite height reach. He doesn't want to see me climb on a tall chair to change the dead lightbulb on top of the ceiling, he worried I might fall.. He said If the ceiling lightbulb dead when he not home, use the table Lamp instead; and wait he get home from work, and he'll change it for me. He make it clear he doesn't want to see his 'wife' climb on tall chair--to change the light bulb on top of the ceiling, or for whatever reason. He always been protective like this, from acquaintance to friends to dating to married; he always help me carried my supermarket bags, carried my laundry, help fix my car, help me change the lightbulb, etc.. He corny; he put a table lamp in the living room, and put one in each of the bedroom in our apartment.. We live in a 2 bedroom apartment; we sleep in the master bedroom, the other bedroom it just an extra bedroom, but he still put a table lamp in there. -----Me I can be quite clumsy sometimes.. Like last time I accidently dropped soda cans, and it exploded all over the kitchen. Being multi-task, I try carried 4 Coca-Cola cans in one hand. I dropped all 4 cans, it exploded. It spills, fizz and splashed all over the kitchen floor. He didn't get mad, he said let him clean it up. He doesn't want me to slip and fall, so he said I go watch TV in the living room, and he'll clean up the kitchen. ----- Then last time I dropped a big glass cup in the kitchen. The glass break into many pieces big and small, and the tiny pieces glass shattered all over the kitchen floor. He didn't get mad, he said he does Not want me to touch the broken glass pieces. Because he worried that the broken glass pieces might cut my finger. He said he wants to be the one that pick it up and clean it up. ugh.. the broken glass pieces sure does look sharp, but he use his fingers to pick it up. Since the broken glass pieces shattered all over the kitchen floor, it was a mess. But he won't let me help him. He said he doesn't want me to pick it up, he doesn't to the sharp broken glass cut my fingers. ----ugh.. and my habit of leave random things all over the bedroom carpet, usually like 5-6 things laying on the bedroom carpet.. random things like: my wallet, grocery ads, phone charger, a pen, box of Kleenex tissue, Chinese DVD cases, TV remote, etc. He knows this, so when he walk in the bedroom, he walk in carefully. (I guess she doesn't want to accidently step on it). And he always pick the stuff up and put it back into place for me.. Never once he criticize me, he just quietly pick it all up and put it back in place for me. I have try to not leave stuff all over the carpet anymore. It getting better, but habits died hard; I still tends to leave a box of tissue and my phone charger on the carpet floor. He accept my habits as it is, never once he said anything about my habits.. I told him I'm going to try to not leave things on the carpet anymore. He said I'm silly, he said don't sweat about it, he doesn't mind pick it all up for me. He said I leave things on the carpet, he will pick it up. He doesn't see what is the problem? I always say silly things in front of him. I asked him what happens when we have a baby and baby leave toys all over the the carpet floor? He said then he will pick up all the toys that the baby leave on the floor. Problem solved. Then I asked what if the baby leave toys all over the carpet again? He said the baby leave it again, he'll pick it up again. That just how he is. His attitude always like this: "okay, so what is the problem? Let me know, tell me and I will solve it." type of attitude. He will solve the problem himself instead of sit around and wait.. He's the type of guy that do it himself and get it done, he doesn't sit around and wait for anyone to do anything for him. There more, there more of his usual/weird quirks and habits, but those are the household/housechores habits of his. Perhaps he is a very hard to live with man. I know he 'unsual', but what can I do? when he not hurting anything.. And I married him. I agreed to married him, so I have to at least make an effort learn to live with his quirks and habbits right? If you were me, you would just let him have these unsual habbits of his his ways right? yoursilverlining on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660092 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:35:34 +0000 yoursilverlining 2660092@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I mean this in a nice way, but you are wasting SO MUCH time and energy on completely ridiculous things. I can't imagine this is good for your quality of life, or your husbands. You don't need to worry about or figure out today how or what your husband will be eating 4 - 5 years from now. Why not try taking it a day at a time. Giving up meat - if that's what he wants to do - is not the end of the world. He can take iron supplements if he needs to. Cooking classes are fun; maybe they would be a good diversion. Mrs. Goose on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660081 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:26:45 +0000 Mrs. Goose 2660081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ As adults, do what you think is best. Strive to have the healthiest diet you can through all stages of your life. I have been vegetarian my whole life and had a very healthy and normal pregnancy and had a huge healthy baby. I have no qualms raising children as vegetarian. As others have mentioned, it seems like he is just trying to be thoughtful. oliviaoblivia on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660068 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 13:08:57 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2660068@https://boards.hellobee.com/ He's a grown up and capable of making grown up decisions. You need to chill out. This level of anxiety is not healthy. T.H.O.U. on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660056 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:55:02 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2660056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Also maybe talk to him about taking this one step at a time. Like, when you are actually pregnant. Then maybe encourage him to be vegan or vegetarian for the duration of the pregnancy. If that goes well and he still wants to consider maybe going until the baby's first birthday. Just take it little steps at a time. littlejoy on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660053 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:51:31 +0000 littlejoy 2660053@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Short answer: I support my husband in his choices, and he supports me. So, yes, I would "let" him. As a vegan woman (raising a vegan child), a diet free of animal products can be healthy. The AAP and other health organizations support veg/vegan diets. There are a ton of resources online that will help him understand the nutritional needs for someone his size and level of activity. mrsbubbletea on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660038 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:43:48 +0000 mrsbubbletea 2660038@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I agree with @rachiecakes: your dishes look very delicious and nutritious! I would love to eat that stuff! Mrsbells on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2660021 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 12:31:22 +0000 Mrsbells 2660021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @thestairs: I agree with@erinbaderin: that your husband seems to be going on this vegetarian diet for you but it is stressing you out. Why dont you have an open talk with him about it and come to an agreement that genuinely represents what you both want. If you decide to go ahead with the vegetarian diet, you can buy morning star products as meat replacement or use eggs, beans and tofu. rachiecakes on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2659910 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:46:26 +0000 rachiecakes 2659910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I'm a vegetarian, have been for years and had a giant healthy baby :) and in 5 years he's had antibiotics once. He's a very healthy little vegetarian boy. I think it's most important you have a balanced diet, get enough water, limit sugars/junk and stay active. And those vegetarian dishes look amazing! Now I'm hungry :silly: sapphire on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2659882 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 10:24:51 +0000 sapphire 2659882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I don't "let" my husband do anything. He makes his own choices. I would let him eat how he wants. erinbaderin on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2659714 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:38:53 +0000 erinbaderin 2659714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Like @Adira said, you basically already asked this question. But here are my thoughts: this is a weird situation. Your husband is not Buddhist, but he's doing this because you are Buddhist, so it seems like he's doing it to make you happy, but it's not making you happy. Have you talked to him honestly about this? Does he know you don't want him to do it? Maybe you could come to a compromise? Maybe you could eat vegetarian dinners and he could eat meat at lunch? If he's 100% determined to do this then he's a grown man and can make his own decisions, I would get him some iron supplements and some nuts and maybe find a few recipes that include lentils and beans to start cooking. Also, though, it sounds like you do all the cooking. Does your husband expect you to make him separate vegan meals? He sounds like a very thoughtful person who wants you to be happy so maybe if you explain to him that meat is good for the baby and you will be too tired to cook two meals every day he will change his mind. Adira on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2659708 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 07:07:01 +0000 Adira 2659708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pretty sure you already asked this question, but it was related to your husband being a blood donor... <a href="http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-very-unreasonable-here-if-your-dh-is-a-regular-blood-donor-a-question" rel="nofollow">http://boards.hellobee.com/topic/am-i-being-very-unreasonable-here-if-your-dh-is-a-regular-blood-donor-a-question</a> In America, when you say "vegetarian", it means no meat, but you can still have dairy (and maybe eggs?? Not sure about that one). If you cut out dairy as well, that's called "vegan." I would let your husband do whatever he wants. He seems like a great guy and he's an adult and can take care of his own body. DesertDreams88 on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2659677 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 00:36:26 +0000 DesertDreams88 2659677@https://boards.hellobee.com/ You seem to have lots of questions that could only be answered by a doctor and a marriage therapist. For what it's worth.... I only eat breads, dairy, and tomatoes. I've been this way since I was 6. I've taken a multivitamin or prenatal every day for life. I have healthy comprehensive blood test results every two years and my Drs are never worried. I had a healthy pregnancy and I nursed my baby exclusively until 9 months (now he gets 1 bottle of formula a day). He is extremely healthy and hitting all his milestones despite also having a vegetarian diet. In the future, I'm not opposed to him having meat, but probably only once a day. My husband doesn't eat much meat either, and he cooks for himself most of the time. He has no meat for breakfast, packs a cold-cut sandwich with lunch with fruit, and usually has pasta, eggs, or quesadillas for dinner, sometimes with meat mix-ins but sometimes not. All of us are healthy and we don't tell each other what to eat. When I say vegetarian, I mean no meat (poultry, fish, or red meat). When you include no dairy or no milk, that is called "vegan" in the English language. If your husband goes full vegan, maybe it is possible to be healthy, but he will have to take supplements and eat many more fruits and veggies than you describe above. If I were you, I'd stick with your current habits, and have everyone eat vegan on those 39 days. That sounds like a good compromise to me. thestairs on "Vent. If your DH want to do this, would you let your DH? And what to you is a 'vegeterian' dishes?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-if-your-dh-want-to-do-this-would-you-let-your-dh-and-what-to-you-is-a-vegeterian-dishes#post-2659673 Thu, 01 Dec 2016 00:04:16 +0000 thestairs 2659673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Hi, I'm sorry for the vent-ish and longgg post ahead.. I know everyone time is precious, so please just skip it if you don't have a few minutes to spare. I'm not good at wording. I always type straight out what in brain, my train of thoughts are scatter all over the place. And I apologize for my not so good English grammars, English is my third language. Happy Holidays, and early Merry Chistmas/Happy New Year. Hope everyone have a nice holidays time with your family and loved ones. [attach=6137/16/ohhq4r.128x128.ResizeChristmasGif.gif] In my culture, and especially I'm Buddhist. When it comes to major Buddhist holidays, and the first day of Chinese Lunar New Year. We eat vegeterian, we don't eat meat.. Buddhist believe that when you don't eat animal meat, you eat vegeterian will give you blessing--(for not eat animal meat), you'll get blessed. It hard to explain it but it like when you doing good deeds you get blessing. And by not eating animal meat, you get more blessing. A year 365 days and I eat vegeterian for 39 days (7 major Buddhist holidays, first day of Chinese Lunar New Year, and the 31 days--whole month of Ullambana).. Ullambana (it like a Buddhist holiday/festival) in the seventh lunar month calender--it known as the season of filial piety to our parents (whether our parents alive or deceased). In modern days it like the western Mother's Day. To be frank, I try my best; that 39 days is the Maximum I can go without meat. I personally love eating meat too much, no way I can't give up meat. I'm Chinese/Vietnamese, my husband he West African (he from Sierra Leone, West Africa). Eventhough we have a huge cultural difference between us. But he very understanding of my culture and Buddhist religion. I explained it to him. And I told him the days I eat vegeterian, I will cook separate food with meat for him. I mean we do have plenty of meat in the fridge. But he said No, he will not eat meat while seeing me eat vegeterian.. He said he not gonna enjoy eating meat by himself when his wife is eating vegeterian food. He said he is my husband, the days I eat vegeterian, he will eat vegeterian together with me. And he did. he did what he said. The 39 days where I eat vegeterian--I just eat steamed rice, vermicelli, tofu, eggplant, boil vegetables and soy sauce. and he happily eat it with me. Anyways, my husband knows knows in my culture and religion that when you eat vegeterian/Not eat animal meat will give you blessed, you get bestow blessing for not eat meat. And my husband he wants to do this--he said when I'm pregnant he will eat vegeterian for 9 months of my pregnancy till I give birth and continue to eat vegeterian till our baby turn 3 years old. So that 9 months of my pregnancy till our baby turn 3, he will not eat meat.. So 3 years and 9 months, almost 4 years he will eat vegeterian; so that me and our baby will be blessed. He said he wants to start as soon as I get a positive on the pregnancy test, he wants the baby in my tummy will be blessed, and he will continue vegeterian till our baby turn 3 years old. ........... Perhaps he thinks that he eat vegeterian, he not eat meat can bestow blessing/can bring blessings to me and our baby. I dunno, but he said it something he really want to do, and he asked me to let him it for 4 years (during my pregnancy and till our baby turn 3). I mean he not hurting anything.. If you were me, would you let your DH do this? If your DH want to do something like this, would you let your DH? ------------------------------------------------------ okay, and he said it will ONLY be him eat vegeterian (in that 4 years), 'him' only. He wants me to eat normally eat meat, and my pregnant tummy need nutritious foods, regardless during pregnancy or post pregnancy he wants me to eat meat. And the baby also need to eat meat, babies/toddlers need iron protein for growth, developed strong immune system, healthy development, brain cells, yada yada.. What he saying is the 9 months of my pregnancy till our baby turn 3 years old, me and the baby need to eat meat. He make it clear that he wants me and the baby to eat meat, it just him eat vegeterian. (not me or the baby) ........... You know how when I offer to cook separate food with meat for him on the 39 days I eat vegeterian, he said No. He said he not gonna enjoy eating meat by himself when his wife is eating vegeterian food. He said he is my husband, the days I eat vegeterian, he will eat vegeterian together with me.. But then look at it now, while me and and the baby eat meat, him eating vegeterian only. He doesn't want doesn't want me and the baby to eat vegeterian with him in that 4 years. He wants me and the baby eat meat, eat nutritious food. What would you do if were me? I guess I should let him have it his ways so he can be happy right? Since he said it something he really want to do, and asked me to 'let' him.. If your DH want to do what my husband do, would you let your DH? ------------------------------------------------------------------ My husband he work 70 hours a week (10-12 hours a day). He doesn't eat much at work, he just eat what I pack for him like a salami sandwich or like baozi (it a Chinese round shape bun inside/filling have meat in it). And to be frank, the nature of his job doesn't give him much time to eat. He always save his stomach to come home to eat with me.. He very important on family eating together. He said eating homemade food that his 'wife' cooks, able to eat together; means alot to him. He wants me and him eat together everyday. He not picky on food, at.all. he never picky on food. He said he eats anything his 'wife' cook. And I do cook for him everyday (my culture food), he never ask me to cook anything specific for him, he said he eat what me--his wife eat. (since he wants to be vegeterian/not eat meat for 4 years to bestow blessing, bring blessings to me and our baby).. Talking about vegeterian food, this lead me to the next question. Can anyone educate me on the 'western' culture of what vegeterian food is. Can you help give me examples of what to you would be considered as a 'vegeterian' dishes? To be frank, I only know how to cook and good at cooking my culture food (Chinese/Vietnamese). I'm not good at cooking western food.. And the version of ours culture 'vegeterian' food it just different from the 'western' vegeterian food that I see. From what I see in the 'western' vegeterian dishes is like it concentrate mostly just eating big portion of the vegetables itself; it all vegetables, ALOT of vegetables, vegetables (and alot of raw leafy green?). But Vietnamese 'vegeterian' food it not like that. It different, we don't concentrate on the vegetables or raw leafty green; But the we concentrate on the rice--noodles--vermicelli as the big portion, and the (cook) vegetables just put on top. No raw leafty green like the western salad. ........... I give some examples of my culture vegeterian dishes that my husband eat with me in the 39 days I eat vegeterian. this dish as you can see, the main part of it is vermicelli noodles, and it just little tofu on top.. I dunno, but it just different from the western vegeterian dishes I see. [attach=6137/16/ohhq6k.500x372.ResizeMienXao.jpg] Or like this dish, it just tofu and eggplant. And he just eat it with a big bowl of steamed rice. The main part is the rice, and the tofu and eggplant just go on top. [attach=6137/16/ohhq6l.500x316.ResizeDauHu.jpg] Or like this noodle vegetables dish below; you see it just little vegetable on top (mushroom and beansprouts), the main part is the noodles. [attach=6137/16/ohhq6m.500x330.ResizeMiXao.jpg] It different from the 'western' vegeterian. As you see from the pics, the big portion main concentration is the rice, noodles and vermicelli. NOT the vegetables.. When look at 'western' vegeterian dishes it just have alot of vegetables, way way more vegetables/leafy green than the Vietnamese vegeterian dishes. I'm thinking of signing up for a 'western' vegeterian cooking food class. I'm sure here in the Bay area it not hard to find a cooking class (vegeterian or not). And I need to go buy vegeterian cook books. Can anyone help educate me more on the 'western' vegeterian? Like can you give examples, or post pics or describe what to you is 'vegeterian' food? Perhaps I'm cooking vegeterian food all wrong here?:-( My husband he 6'1" and weight 170 lbs, which is an average weight for his height; but he slim and very lean. He has zero body fat. He been this skinny/slim body type all his life, he just very slim. He eats normal, he eats meat. He eats all the food I cook him, and he remain the same skinny/slim weight. I guess he has a fast metabolism. Regardless, he just very slim/skinny, he very lean.. Don't get me wrong, I admit I'm sexually attracted to him being slim/skinny. I just worried his 'iron' level--I not sure if he will get enough iron (in the 4 years vegeterian) from mostly just the rice, noodles, and vermicelli. And he wants to be strictly vegeterian in the 4 years.. No dairy No eggs. In Buddhist you touch eggs that is no longer vegeterian. Buddhist vegeterian food is pretty much what I show in the examples above; steamed rice, vermicelli, noodles, tofu, eggplant, boil vegetables and soy sauce. (No fish sauce or oyster sauce neither. Yes, I know it sauce but it fish and oyster sauce so that no longer vegeterian. So it just soy sauce). No meat, no fish, no seafood, No dairy no eggs, no milk, no fish or oyster sauce etc.. He wants himself to be strictly vegeterian. I guess he want to make an effort of follow my Buddhist and culture of what 'vegeterian' is. I don't mind cook for him everyday, I eat the food too, we always eat together.. And what I cook is my culture food, he never ask me to cook anything specific for him, he said he eat what me--his wife eat. (If he wants to eat those Vietnamese vegeterian food for 4 years, I don't mind cook it for him). Every day I eat steamed rice. There days when we eat noodles, vermicelli; but me I mostly eat rice.. What difference if I add in a bowl of vegetables for him. Or make him a side of tofu so he can eat it with his bowl of steamed rice. Or put vegetables on top of his noodles/vermicelli dishes (like those pics examples above). It not hard at all. I just wish those dishes contains enough 'iron' for him.