https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 16:52:51 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913827 Mon, 13 Apr 2020 09:48:30 +0000 foodiebee 2913827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>SAME, LADIES. @ElbieKay: And agreed, the only reason it occasionally comes to mind is that I feel like a bad spouse but with a 10mo with chronic ear infections (on #2 in 4 weeks of lock-down, #5 in three months) and little sleep and lots of crying and working full time, all I want right now is a latte and more than 10 minutes to introvert by myself somewhere with zero talking, no TV, and no obligations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913816 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 23:58:51 +0000 Mrs Green Grass 2913816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow I guess I’m lucky DH and I are in the same not in the mood page! He suggested we dress up for dinner Saturday which was a nice way of getting us both there! Now we can wait another 3-4 weeks 😆. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913815 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 23:24:11 +0000 DesertDreams88 2913815@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first two weeks, I was just so scared/depressed/worried, there was no way - and I told DH to not initiate (he never really does anyway, strict Baptist upbringing, bummer). Now we're just both too tired from managing a 2 &amp; 4 year old all day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913810 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 21:41:51 +0000 graceandjoy 2913810@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Extra the mood since I also just had a baby 2.5 months ago. But I do it; for the greater good :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913806 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 21:10:43 +0000 periwinklebee 2913806@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'll confess that when I was stocking up on stuff, I thought "how many condoms should I buy." And let's just say it was not a particularly large number 😂 I'm also a few months postpartum and it still hurts, so there's been virtually no action around here. I would like to do it more often - my sole motivation being that we've already been in the house 24-7 for a month and there's no end in sight, so there has never been a more important time to invest in our marriage. But I'm exhausted.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913798 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 17:17:32 +0000 codeitall 2913798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MrsADS: This.<br /> @BadgerMom: I've told my husband this and still boggles my mind when he tries to feel me up at 11 PM. Uh, what? Is the kitchen clean? No? Well that's where my mind is: all the crap that needs to get done around the house and decisions you don't seem to be helping with at all.</p> <p>It doesn't help that I'm 6 months pregnant and he had a really long dry patch after the last baby because gosh, I must be tired and not have energy to spare... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913780 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 06:16:36 +0000 MrsADS 2913780@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope 🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️🙅‍♀️</p> <p>If he's not as exhausted as you at the end of the day and still has tons of energy for sex... he's not helping enough around the house!!!</p> <p>You know what would put me in the mood? How about some cooking, cleaning, laundry, handle these kids and let me get some sleep. Then we can talk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913778 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 05:33:11 +0000 meadow 2913778@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Kemma: 😂😂😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913775 Sun, 12 Apr 2020 04:15:32 +0000 Kemma 2913775@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>🙋🏼‍♀️ My husband keeps suggesting that we have a “nooner” and I’m like “Dude, we have three kids at home!!”. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913765 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 19:26:45 +0000 ALV91711 2913765@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>By the end of the day of working at home. Taking care of two kids and helping one with school work I don’t have the energy. Luckily DH has been pretty good but I know he’s wanting more. The other night I told home yesterday and then fell sound asleep on the couch! Oops! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913764 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 18:29:21 +0000 wrkbrk 2913764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@muffinsmuffins: Same girl same </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913763 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 17:29:57 +0000 Nutella 2913763@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Feeling very relieved it’s not just me, while I appreciate it’s a first world problem I also can’t handle the extra “job” at this point in time. Especially long sessions where it’s actually physically tiring 🙄😬 it’s complicated as we were also TTC (unsuccessfully) prior to this nonsense so now the whole thing is tainted and it’s just not a fun enjoyable thing for me anymore 😓<br /> At the end of the night after trying to work from home and also wrangle two kids, one who is supposed to be homeschooled I just want to veg out with Netflix and no other expectation. 😪😪😪 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913762 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 17:21:44 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2913762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ha maybe this is a female thing because DW and I are both like nope nope nope this whole quarantine. We are both super stressed and our kids are sooooo needy that any sexual energy is completely zapped. Maybe sex is how men deal with stress?! </p> <p>If it was imbalanced in our relationship I would just have an honest conversation about it and wholeheartedly endorse that the one wanting more should ‘take things into their own hands’ and leave it at that 🤷🏻‍♀️ </p> <p>Are there things you could suggest he do that might help you reduce your stress so you feel more relaxed? Like he does bedtime so you can take a bath, housework, etc? Maybe a kid free dinner with candles and stuff? He has to understand that you need more than just come ons to be in the mood and be prepared to do some things to help you feel your love language too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913761 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 17:18:56 +0000 BadgerMom 2913761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh man. I’m right there with you. I had to tell DH one night the only thing I could offer was a quickie. I told him sex beyond that takes concentration for me and I just didn’t have that much focus left in me that day. He seemed completely mind-blown with that idea. I think for him, and a lot of guys, it’s more like a release. Since then he’s been a slightly bit more understanding if I’m not in the mood. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913760 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 16:54:44 +0000 meadow 2913760@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So glad I'm not alone! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913758 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 14:56:57 +0000 gotkimchi 2913758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hear you guys! Guess what I don’t need my ass grabbed while I’m unloading the dishwasher for the third time and still have dishes, wash, cooking to do and haven’t showered in what feels like days. I’m not doing a good job at homeschooling, parenting or my full time job. He seriously thinks that’s “nice” but what would actually be nice is putting away a load of laudnry </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913757 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 14:13:21 +0000 ElbieKay 2913757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am stretched way too thin and am not at all interested in sex. My husband is not happy. I am drowning in children, household and full time job. One of my twins wakes up every night even though she is almost two. I am tired and overwhelmed and have nothing left to give. Literally the only reason I care is that my disinterest may put my marriage at risk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-shelter-in-place-does-not-put-me-in-the-mood#post-2913756 Sat, 11 Apr 2020 14:08:57 +0000 Corduroy 2913756@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH's sex drive is way up with shelter in place and honestly it's the thing that's driving me nuts the most right now. #firstworldproblems.</p> <p>I do not feel like having sex all the time just because we're stuck at home!</p> <p>Now that I've shouted that, I understand physical touch is his language of love and he needs more of it when he's feeling vulnerable. We're having sex a handful of times a week through this. We're generally in a good place. This isn't a bad situation or anything just frustration with the shelter in place. </p> <p>But sh*t man back off with the constant come ons. I feel like I'm failing as a mom, a home (whatever you call this teacher), an employee, and intimate partner. </p> <p>I have been trying to make myself more available and make my rebuffing gentle but I just freaked out on him on something he said wasn't a proposal for sex (there have probably been 6 direct reminders this morning that we have a bedroom or that we could go fool around or similar). Forgive me DH for misinterpreting this last one. </p> <p>Is anyone else in this boat? Any suggestions for phrasing open and productive communication? Or suggestions for getting in the mood in less than ideal situations? </p>