https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 29 Apr 2026 22:32:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191823 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 17:18:13 +0000 jennylynn 191823@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: perfectly said!</p> <p>And no, it's not just your hormones. I dealt with a somewhat similar situation, nothing was ever said about it because I was too afraid of hurting someones feelings, and it put a huge damper on my maternity leave. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191816 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 17:06:14 +0000 Mrs. Pen 191816@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>oh my gosh that is totally inappropriate. I am soo sorry!!</p> <p>I would totally have dh talk to them. I made sure my husband would stand up for me if his mom visited, we talked about it before I had the baby and thankfully he understood. She never was able to come out to see us - but I'm still glad we cleared it up.</p> <p>I like the door sign idea and glad you took out the doorbell! </p> <p>I'm so sorry :( that is so rough. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191808 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 16:42:29 +0000 HLK208 191808@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I told DH about this thread just so he understands, it's not just me! I don't hate his family at all but they are too much right now.</p> <p>I decided to call MIL myself and I said, "we love having you over but I'd hate to miss visiting with you if we're busy, please spread the word to your parents also. We really need some rest to recover" so if that doesn't work...I'll just put up a "do not disturb" sign? It may be a little tacky but we also have a lot of weirdos selling stuff door to door so it doesn't give out too much information. Ugh, it's too bad this has to be a hassle though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191205 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:44:35 +0000 Sammyfab 191205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not your hormones at all! I would be super annoyed if I were in your shoes and I agree with pp, your husband needs to say something to his family. At the very least he can ask me to call and let you know when they'll be visiting.</p> <p>Visitors that come by and help by cleaning, cooking and taking care of the baby are one thing, but since you said they don't help at all, I would just start making excuses about why they can't come around as often. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191189 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:30:24 +0000 looch 191189@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have loved a visitor those first few weeks, especially once my husband went back to work! I would have used the opportunity to take a much needed nap. You want to visit, great!!! Here's my screaming son! Have fun! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191184 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:27:31 +0000 brownie 191184@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I refused all visitors for the first 4 weeks. Have your husband stand up to them. If he isn't there, you don't have to answer the door or do anything. Let them think you are out or sleeping. It isn't rude, you have alot to do right now with recovering, feeding the baby and learning. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191148 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:13:30 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 191148@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I second @MamaMoose: Get your husband to have a talk with them. He should be the bad guy in this situation. You are not hormonal, and it is totally inconsiderate. Perhaps they don't realize it in the excitement, but you totally need some alone time with baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191134 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:05:24 +0000 Foodnerd81 191134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yup, it's not your hormones, they are being crazy rude. And, yes, your husband needs to worry more about his wife and baby's feelings and less about his rude relatives! I would have him talk to them first, and then resort to the sign. Good call on taking the batteries out of the doorbell. I can't imagine my reaction if someone woke my baby up after I JUST got it to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191123 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 09:00:38 +0000 MamaMoose 191123@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, your husband needs to man up. I would hope that the comfort of his newborn baby and his wife who just gave birth would be more important to him than not hurting his family's feeling when they are being RUDE. He needs to just tell them flat out that going forward if they don't call and comfirm it's OK to visit BEFORE coming over, then you won't be answering the door. End of story. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191058 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 08:17:52 +0000 Modern Daisy 191058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Just be careful with the sign because you don't want to advertise to crazy people that you're vulnerable in the house with little ones. I think the best thing you can do is to answer the door when they come over unannounced and only open it a crack and just say "I'm so sorry, we're in the middle of a nap and can't visit right now. I should have told you to call before you come so I apologize for the inconvenience. Our schedule is so crazy right now I'm asking everyone to call first so we avoid inconveniencing our well wishers"</p> <p>Obviously you already told them to call first, so they will realize how rude they've been (hopefully). And it will train them that showing up unannounced doesn't result in getting in so they have a better chance if they call first. Hopefully it will also make them feel bad for waking you up! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-191040 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 08:05:32 +0000 sorrycharlie 191040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>definitely not the hormones! I'd be livid. Especially the shower thing - I don't know how my hormones will be different after-baby, but my during-baby hormones would have had me having a scene (yelling out the door for DH). </p> <p>I agree with the PPs - I think I'm going to get a sign handy before hand. We don't have a doorbell, but the ILs BANG on our front door (I am not exaggerating) and our dog FLIPS out, howling and barking. Sigh. I'm really hoping that I don't have to get crazy-mama-bear on people but I just might.</p> <p>Sorry you're dealing with this! :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190798 Fri, 15 Jun 2012 00:00:19 +0000 SAHM0811 190798@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i would answer the door, but the entire time i would probably just hide out in my room/nursery with the baby and hope they get the hint. (i'm being perfectly honest here. being confrontational with my in-laws isn't an option for me) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190785 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 23:38:03 +0000 cyneswith 190785@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not your hormones - it'd drive me nuts too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190783 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 23:34:32 +0000 Mrs. Train 190783@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents live next door and still call before they come over (if I'm not expecting them). It's just polite to give people a heads up </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190781 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 23:27:50 +0000 HLK208 190781@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Good idea on the door sign! So this isn't just my hormones, right? I feel like there's just a total lack of consideration for us... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190758 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 23:04:24 +0000 ChelseaRose 190758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my nightmare. I would insist that husband speak to them. I'm going to have mine do this before baby arrives so that expectations are clear. It is time for your husband to prioritize your feelings. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190753 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:56:25 +0000 matador84 190753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This would be a nightmare for me!!! I really would resort to just not answering the door. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190749 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:53:08 +0000 holdonforonemoreday 190749@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Lock the door (all doors), put out one of those little signs that say "Mommy and baby are sleeping, please call before you come so that you are not disappointed to miss us!"</p> <p>They'll get the hint when they keep seeing the same sign over and over again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190744 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:48:02 +0000 MsMini 190744@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just not answer the door if I didn't want to entertain. They will get the hint (especially if they know for a fact you are there). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190735 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 22:40:50 +0000 mrsmenow 190735@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would get one of those cute door signs on Etsy that says "baby and parents are sleeping", hang it and then don't answer the door if they knock. They will learn to call pretty quickly.</p> <p>This is not a permanent solution, but at least you can get some rest until your Dh is willing to set limits with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/vent-visitors-during-babys-first-week#post-190670 Thu, 14 Jun 2012 21:51:56 +0000 HLK208 190670@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far, DH's family has come over every day since we've been home from the hospital (last Sunday) which I like having visitors but they don't call when they come! They also ring the doorbell every time they come when we've asked them not to in the past (small house, loud door bell). </p> <p>MIL came over when I was in the shower the other day, but our living room is right next to the main bathroom so I couldn't get out! I didn't have any clothes in with me but I would have had I known she was coming over. I stood weeping in the bathroom because I was so tired and couldn't leave the bathroom naked in my towel in front of her. </p> <p>His grandparents came over yesterday and woke all of us up from a much needed nap. Then they came over that night too again, no call, rang the door bell. So I took out the batteries from the doorbell, problem solved.</p> <p>However, I asked them to use purell before holding baby and his grandmother passed my LO to SIL without using it...she was wiping her nose on her hand the whole time they were over (she's a preteen and isn't very clean in general). They had been at the mall prior and maybe I'm being over protective but come on!</p> <p>And today FIL and his wife were suppose to come over and just didn't show up. I talked to them this morning to make sure they were coming over, they said yes. No call or text. But they posted a lot on facebook this afternoon so I know they're fine. WTH? Another SIL did this Tuesday too!</p> <p>Am I just being hormonal?? None of them offer to help when they come over. I don't expect gifts but it's not like they've brought anything for DD. I'm worried they are going to keep coming over at all hours of the day when I have a newborn and toddler to take care of. I'm so frustrated. DH won't say anything to them because he doesn't want to hurt their feelings. </p> <p>They came over unannounced when I was pregnant all the time too so I asked them to call first but they won't listen...I'm not sure what to do! </p>