https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 04 May 2026 16:07:58 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100925 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 10:58:09 +0000 lilteacherbee 100925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks everyone! I wish there were more options to avoid him, but he lives next door to my parents. With the little control his parents have over him, he's always over there or at my grandparents house (its a small town, rural community). We have had to lock him out the house before, which is really sad, but appropriate I think. Aside from never visiting my hometown and family (which would break my heart), there's not much I can do besides leaving the house when he comes around. I think that's what I'll be doing from now on.</p> <p>Its mostly hard on me because I loved this child so much when I was younger, he was my little buddy. Now, I'm one of the few (along with my parents and sister) who tries to get him to behave, which makes him really dislike me (obviously). From working with kids, I've learned that they really need 2 things along with the essentials (food, water, clothing, etc.) and that's structure and boundaries. This kid has neither and it hurts me to see what was once an incredibly loving child turn into someone I can't handle being around.</p> <p>The tough part is my grandparents. They KNOW something needs to be done, but I guess they don't want to believe it at times. I've always been one to push the boundaries of my family (not too majorly, I just let my opinion be known) and they know when I feel strongly about something. I guess that's why its easier to be upset with me.</p> <p>@MsMamaBear: :) I know what you mean, I had some of those at my last job. I have a few now who have their issues, but mostly they are happy kids. It breaks my heart, because my students are considered at-risk (many of them are low income and HALF my class is ESL), so they don't have as many material possessions, yet they are really great kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100909 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 09:45:59 +0000 Cchoi4 100909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>wow. *big old hug*<br /> that is tough, no doubt.<br /> If the cousin wasn't family, I would have avoided a long time ago. But family is always a different story.</p> <p>Sometimes people really don't know their own kids (same for grandparents knowing/not knowing their own grandchildren). They are so blinded by love and/or what has been the norm from when the child was born and growing up that they don't see how other children behave and how they are "supposed" to behave.</p> <p>That said, I commend you on your restraint and maturity. You cannot change this family or their child rearing habits directly. The only thing you can do is to limit your time with them and your cousin to what you can handle. If/when they decide to do something about this little guy, maybe that is when they will be receptive to what you have to say about it.</p> <p>As for your grandparents, you can explain to them gently what is on your mind. You don't want to upset them but still want them to understand you. You are all adults, you can have that conversation.</p> <p>Best of luck with it all.<br /> man, spoiled kids. UGH! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100893 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 09:06:37 +0000 MsMamaBear 100893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. That is ridiculous. The kid is bad, but him aside, your grandparents acting like that? He acts a fool and they tell you to leave? At this point I'd be more mad at my grandparents for chosing him and his behavior over me.</p> <p>I hope they get their act together. He's going to end up in jail if they don't stop it. I teach 4yr olds...I wish I had your class because I've had several of these kids in my classes.LOL </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100839 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 07:50:14 +0000 heffalump 100839@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow. I'm sure deep down your grandparents know that's not ok and just don't know what to do about. It's hard when your family acts like that! Hope it doesn't last forever ... especially for your cousins sake! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100826 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 07:15:55 +0000 mrbee 100826@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh that's the worst!</p> <p>My mantra in situations like this is to try and focus on what I can control (or else I feel my sanity slipping away!). In this case, it sounds like you can't control your cousin's behavior or impact how he is raised... so maybe it's time to phase out visiting the cousin?</p> <p>Can you get alone time with your grandparents? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100825 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 07:15:55 +0000 chopsuey 100825@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>WOW! Sorry that happened to you.. :(<br /> I would have slapped your cousin..! Someone needs to lay the smack down on that kid! I would definitely keep my distance if I were you. It's ridiculous that they're enabling his bad behavior. :T </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100811 Sat, 24 Mar 2012 06:14:56 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 100811@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>**HUGS**</p> <p>That sounds like a rough day, and an even worse situation to have to deal with constantly. I have a cousin who acts very similar to how you described, except she's much older and no one seems to think she does anything wrong. It is very frustrating!</p> <p>You can only hope that his parents will eventually take notice. Until then, take deep breaths and hang in there!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/venting-10-year-old-cousins-behavior-has-me-in-tears#post-100755 Fri, 23 Mar 2012 22:51:01 +0000 lilteacherbee 100755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was in tears today over my 10 year old cousin. I just need to vent because every time it crosses my mind, I get upset again.</p> <p>My cousin was born when I was in middle school. It had been about a decade since a baby had been born in our family, so it was exciting. I spent my teen years spending time with him and looking forward to babysitting him on the weekends. He was an incredibly cute and sweet child...until he was about 5 years old. I think most of this stems from the fact that he is spoiled like no other child I've ever met (and I'm a teacher, so that's saying a lot).</p> <p>At 4, he got a Wii. At 5, he received a playstation for Christmas. A few years ago, he got a Nintendo DS. NONE of these things last over 2 months before he destroys them (usually on purpose). He wanted a cell phone for the past 2 years. A few weeks before he turned 9 (his birthday is on Christmas), his parents gave him a cell phone for no reason...it wasn't a Christmas or birthday present..it was "just because." He got angry with his parents and threw it into the Christmas tree and broke it. He has his dad's Droid in his hands at all times when he's not at school and he's broken his parents' phones countless times because he gets mad and he knows they'll just buy another one for him to play with.</p> <p>This child is so obsessed with electronic gadgets that it drives me crazy. He wants a LAPTOP now. Not to mention, he never helps with any chores or does anything without being asked a million times. He has NO responsibilities, yet gets "rewarded" all the time. He is utterly disrespectful to everyone. He called his dad a "G.D. Bastard," but actually used the words. This made my grandmother cry which in turn pissed me off so badly. I am a pre-k teacher and my 4 year olds behave with more maturity than this 10 year old.</p> <p>Onto what happened today... My cousin (and aunt/uncle) lives next door to my parents and my grandparents live across the street. DH and I live an hour away, but as I only work 20 minutes from them, sometimes I stop by after work to visit. My family is really close (physically and emotionally) and they're having a hard time with the fact that I live an hour away. I was at my grandparents house today when my cousin walked in and started arguing with everyone. As I said, I teach FOUR year olds and they behave because they are taught to (by their parents and by teachers at school). This child doesn't have consequences at all. After being at work all day with kids, I'm not about to deal with a child who is so completely rude to me out of nowhere. So, I walked outside because I couldn't deal with his mouth and watching him be rude to my grandparents. After a few minutes, I returned inside to kiss my grandparents goodbye. My cousin said, "Grandaddy, I'm sorry Jennifer is so mean." I looked at him and was like "Really?! What in the world did I do?" and he tried to spit at me!! I tried to say something to him and before I could, my grandfather yelled and told me to leave if I couldn't "behave." I'm 22 years old.</p> <p>I walked back to my parents house in tears. I love and adore my grandparents. They have a ton of health issues, are isolated from everyone except family, and are fairly depressed. My grandfather gets in these moods and gets mad at the world but it really hurt my feelings :/ </p> <p>My aunt/uncle (and sometimes grandparents) don't seem to think there's anything wrong with the way my cousin acts. He's 10 and completely rules their household (and tries to control the extended family when he's around). He has already been held back in school for one grade, but he doesn't care about school at all. All he cares about is playing with computers and phones. I have a degree in elementary ed and I'm currently getting my master's in child development/early childhood ed. My sister is in college to be a teacher, yet no one listens to us or seems to understand that the child is headed for major trouble in the future. I love my cousin, but at the same time, I can't stand his personality and I can't be around him at all anymore.</p> <p>Okay, I feel better now. </p>