https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 30 May 2026 15:46:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2451432 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 16:44:01 +0000 littlejoy 2451432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Our 25 month old is super-advanced verbally ... while she isn't aggressive, she is very independent. This translates to her getting frustrated if she can't do something she's trying to do, and lately, she enjoys independent play, and doesn't like people touching her toys. </p> <p>I don't know that there would be a link between aggression and early talking (I would tend to think it would be more like that for a late talker (who couldn't express their feelings).</p> <p>I do think (and I know you realize this) that there is such a wide range of normal toddler expression &amp; emotions ... being an overly-emotional human is the trademark of being a toddler. Our friend's son is super aggressive (he's not talking yet), but I can tell you I never hold that against him or his parents. I just know that all kids are different. I try to lead by example, and only interject if I think she's going to hurt another kid.</p> <p>I am seriously glad I'm not a toddler! Have fun with her at this age ... we're there now, and man, some of the things she says are crazy! ;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2451406 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 16:26:45 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 2451406@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My oldest is/was this way. She's now 4 and we're still having to work with her because she's more advanced/gifted then most kids her age. Because of that, the behavior side of things takes longer to work out. We've actually been seeing a child psychologist to help us work through behavioral issues with her, and we've made huge steps. I will say the biggest thing is that you will always have to stay on top of her to let her know that the aggression is not acceptable. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2451374 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 16:14:30 +0000 daniellemybelle 2451374@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I am looking very hard for activities but I haven't found much! :bummed: She starts preschool in the fall in a mixed age class (Montessori) so I think that will be great for her.</p> <p>@lamariniere: Thanks for sharing your experience! I think there is some sensory stuff going on along with this which as I am researching more, I'm finding is common. Now to figure out how to help her! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2450426 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 04:18:59 +0000 Cherrybee 2450426@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are having a similar issue with E at daycare. Her friends were all older than her and they have now all moved up to the next room at daycare. We are just waiting for a space to open up for her but, until it does, she is stuck in a class with younger children - not *much* younger, but E is very bright, very verbal and thrives around older children. She doesn't get aggressive, she becomes sad and withdraws. Ive noticed that she loves dance class when we are around the three year olds. I think you would be wise to try to get her into activities with slightly older children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2450407 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 03:04:12 +0000 lamariniere 2450407@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My son was very verbally advanced at 2, definitely miles ahead of his peers when he started daycare right at 2. He wasn't aggressive, but that's just his personality. He has never been the aggressive kid. I agree with the others that is sounds like this will resolve as her peers catch up and they become more verbal and more of a challenge to her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2450396 Fri, 05 Feb 2016 01:46:08 +0000 Applesandbananas 2450396@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: that makes sense! Maybe just saying "gentle hands, he's a baby" or something very simple like that? </p> <p>It'll get better, hang in there! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2450319 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 23:27:08 +0000 daniellemybelle 2450319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Applesandbananas: What's hard is that she is still definitely 2 emotionally/mentally. So the world revolves around her! I definitely try to emphasize empathy and patience with younger kids but she doesn't care all that much...</p> <p>@deerylou: Thanks for sharing your experience! Sounds just like LO. Her play is more "complex" as you said as well. For example, at a play gym we go to they have a puppet show stage &amp; puppets and she wanted to put on a show with different characters, but got frustrated when the other kids were not acting anything out but just playing with the puppets. From there she just devolved into a rage machine and it wasn't the most fun playdate. :bummed: </p> <p>I'm having a hard time finding classes for her where she would be with older kids. Most have specific age ranges they don't want to be flexible on, which I understand because everyone thinks their kid is the exception.</p> <p>@catlady: I don't know that this is the sole source of her aggression. Recently, aggression has become a problem, but she has always been very sensitive. I wonder if there are some sensory integration issues as well.</p> <p>@gingerbebe: Interesting! Yes, I would LOVE to find an art class for her. I'm struggling to find the right things though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2450306 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 23:12:18 +0000 daniellemybelle 2450306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@abbydabbydoodlebug: Happy birthday to your LO! I would love that! I hate that you live so far south :bummed: but we could meet in the middle and we could see who wins the battle of the strong willed 2 year olds :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449841 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 19:24:08 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 2449841@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My DD is 2 today (today, actually! haha) and I'd say she's ahead, maybe not as much as your daughter, but she definitely walks all over kids that are not on the same level as she is. We could do an experiment and get them together and see what happens! Lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449836 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 19:22:51 +0000 Applesandbananas 2449836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's totally plausible! Thats incredible vocabulary and language!</p> <p>The best thing I can think of is to tell your LO they're younger or still babies and that she needs to be gentle with them. I'm not sure how well that'll go over with some other parents but we're on the flip side, LO is very very behind and other parents tell their kids that he's younger/still a baby/just a little guy, etc. and they're much nicer after that or at least a little more patient (or they just leave him alone, which is fine too!) I don't find it offensive or rude, but I prefer that over their kids struggling to interact with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449833 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 19:18:39 +0000 deerylou 2449833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It took a while for our daughter's verbal skills to explode. Now, at 2.5, she has an advanced vocabulary and complex play skills. </p> <p>We spend a fair share of time with children that were born right around the same time (due to a particular age-related playgroup we joined after she turned one), and she tends to grow frustrated with the way most of the others communicate and play. She tends to want to orchestrate a scene, with each child playing a particular role with a specific game plan. We've dubbed her, "the director" and joke that she'll go into the film industry. </p> <p>I've found that she gets along better with children we bump into at the park and library that are in the 4-6 year old range. She's still home with me, but we're enrolled in several community classes where she gets regular exposure to peers and other adult instruction. </p> <p>With that being said, we're looking into preschool programs now, and feel this will be ironed out, from there. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449819 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 19:02:41 +0000 catlady 2449819@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Interesting. My LO is pretty advanced verbally as well and she isn't aggressive but she is considered "bossy" at daycare around the other kids. She also definitely prefers hanging out with older children. She still does fine though because her teachers are always leading different activities throughout the day to keep her busy.</p> <p>I imagine that this will resolve itself with time as you suggested. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449761 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 18:11:22 +0000 gingerbebe 2449761@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WAS your kid and I stayed at home with my mom and we lived with my grandparents, so I was around adults all day long. My grandfather was the head pastor of his church, so we had adult guests all day long too, so I wasn't around kids my own age very much except for the neighbor kids sometimes, and even they were older (school age) who would play with me when they came home. So I never had aggression issues, although I was that annoying sassy pants kid. I didn't attend daycare or preschool and never had formal schooling until kindergarten. I was also an only child until my brother was born when I was 4.</p> <p>I think I totally would have been frustrated with peers who couldn't communicate with me and I do think more adult directed classes and activities could be good. I was really challenged in sports classes and teams because I wasn't a super athletic kid and I'm sure it taught me humility and teamwork because there were other kids who were just better at swimming or basketball than me. Art classes are also good because there's usually no "right" way to do something and its an individual activity done alongside others. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449758 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 18:04:20 +0000 Andrea 2449758@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: Great, my daughter is the same way. She absolutely thrives with structure, which goes against so much that's written here. "Free play is the best!!!" This just doesn't work for all kids, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449757 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 18:04:17 +0000 mrsjazz 2449757@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: So when my LO was in a nanny share she was aggressive sometimes with the other child and would boss her around and tell her what to do and get frustrated with her. What helped for us was preschool...she needed a more challenging environment. She is an angel at school so says her teachers. </p> <p>Can you look into a part time program or activities where an adult is teaching her or she interacts with older kids, too? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449755 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 18:00:39 +0000 daniellemybelle 2449755@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: She only does one structured activity that is led by an adult without my participation - ballet class. We just started last week. She LOVES it! On Mondays we usually go the children's museum and that is a mix of free play and more structured activities but it's not as directive as an actual class. The other days of the week we will usually go to story time at the library once and casual playdates once or twice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449753 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 17:54:38 +0000 Andrea 2449753@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: What activities does she do? DD loves activities because it's led by an adult, like school, I suppose. It's not about being verbal with other kids. I'm talking about things like swimming, ballet, tennis, piano .... but I know your LO is still young so there aren't as many activities she can do yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449743 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 17:36:37 +0000 erinpye 2449743@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@daniellemybelle: perfect, I'll shoot you an email tonight! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449742 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 17:35:55 +0000 daniellemybelle 2449742@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinpye: Yes, LO will scream, "I'm just mad!" or "I don't want you to do that!" And they will just stare/cower blankly :bummed: She does have conflicts with LOs that can talk more but they don't get nearly as physical. </p> <p>I am not Gold but I will wall you my email address! </p> <p>@Andrea: This is what I am REALLY struggling with - how much is affected or could be affected by her SAH with me, or starting her in preschool/daycare. She had a hard time with daycare before we moved and DH &amp; I feel like she has really blossomed by being home with me over the last 6 months. Her separation anxiety disappeared and she is very social, outgoing, bright, etc. However, I do wonder if she went to school and was challenged in that way, if it would help these frustrations. We stay busy with activities, but a lot of them are with other toddlers 18 months - 2.5 years old and they are not on the same level verbally. It is the same at the gym daycare where she's been having the hardest time - most of the little ones are around her age but they are not as verbal as she is. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449727 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 17:23:00 +0000 Andrea 2449727@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I go through this as well. I need to keep my daughter very challenged or else she does act out. She acted out against her peers when she was bored at daycare so we switched her out to a more challenging environment and then she was fine. She hasn't had any further aggression towards other kids, but still gets very frustrated when she's bored at something so I try not to let that happen. I can see some improvement as she's old enough now to challenge herself at things, but it's still a journey that we're on. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449716 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 17:17:59 +0000 erinpye 2449716@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DD went through this and would scream "I'm frustrated!" Because peers didn't understand her. She also was aggressive because of it. Feel free to wall me if you want to talk more- it gets better as other kids start talking more and match her expectations. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/verbally-advanced-2-year-old-aggression#post-2449708 Thu, 04 Feb 2016 17:14:27 +0000 daniellemybelle 2449708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, I know there is a very broad range of normal at this age and they all kind of catch up to each other eventually, so I don't think LO is like a genius or anything. </p> <p>Still, I think it's pretty clear that she is more verbal than most 2 year olds. It is pointed out to me on a daily basis. I have started to notice that there are 3 &amp; even 4 year olds that are not as verbal as her. She uses full sentences 99% of the time, with correct grammar, tenses, and references to time ("first," "until," "then," "next," etc.) Today I paid attention to it and the majority of her sentences average about 8 words, and "the Internet" says at this age, 2-3 word sentences are more typical.</p> <p>DH is not around toddlers as much as I am and anytime we are around other 2 or even 3 year olds he always asks me why they don't speak as well as LO when we leave.</p> <p>I guess I never really thought about that this could be connected to why she gets so frustrated and aggressive with other toddlers on playdates or at the playground, children's museum, etc. until friends suggested that to me as the reason. Now it is really clicking. She does so much better with adults and older children. Maybe it is the fact that she can't communicate how she wants with kids her age?</p> <p>Of course, this is totally not an excuse for LO to ever be aggressive to other kids. But I am just wondering if this is common and something that will work itself out as other kids catch up? </p>