https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 14 May 2026 15:23:24 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658619 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 13:05:08 +0000 birdofafeather 2658619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yeah, this is what makes me nervous that my SIL, who is pregnant with her first but doesn't have friends with kids, is hosting their extended family's big Christmas Eve party, but doesn't have a fence around their pool. :( there are a lot of young kids in the family who aren't pool safe (mine included!) and now we'll have to be even more vigilant because it's totally a "if everyone is watching, no one is watching" kind of situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658611 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 12:53:50 +0000 oliviaoblivia 2658611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Taking my three to non baby proofed homes is so so hard. People without little kids don't get how much trouble they can get into quickly. Last summer my mom had my 3yo and I asked my dad to keep an eye on our 18mo while I put the 6mo to nap. I was gone literally five minutes and she's in a different room than my dad and is standing on top of the counter and had thrown a porcelain figurine on the ground. My dad was on his phone. 🙄 myself and my sisters are alive so he wasn't an idiot at one point but I can't trust him now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658603 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 12:45:53 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2658603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the toddler age is a tough one with respect to family gatherings because they can have a multitude of things going on from separation anxiety and of course climbing/walking/etc without being stable aka needing constant eyeballs on them. And you have twins, so it's tougher that way! Although even with my four year old I don't really relax at family gatherings (or anywhere else we bring her, really) it does get more laid back. I think you're doing what you can- hopefully your family can be a bit more helpful when they start talking. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658581 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 12:07:56 +0000 looch 2658581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: I think what you've experienced mirrors what I have experienced, in terms of kids being okay with the older kids.</p> <p>I think they're more aware that they need to be gentle, share, yield to the younger children. Younger ones are still working on those skills and my son has a hard time understanding that they're not at the same level as he is, even though we went through the exact same things. It's a work in progress.</p> <p>I know that all parents think that their children are super well behaved and cooperative and that they should work it out on their own, but the behavior I have witnessed suggests otherwise, my kid included! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658546 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 11:18:44 +0000 Anagram 2658546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@aprild: @looch: That's interesting. I let my 3.5 year old basically do whatever she wants at public playgrounds and at our family's houses. At the park, I keep an eye on her location but since I have a 15 month old too, I literally can't be in 2 places at once and my 15 month old can't keep up with how fast my 3.5 year old runs around to different play structures, so I just shadow the 15 month old and let the 3.5 year old do her own thing. It's the same at our family's house except there I'm generally relaxing because our families are good about keeping an eye on our kids (we watch their kids too). It might just be the age dynamic we have in our families, though. On my side, all of our LOs cousins are older--11, 15, and young adults. So they play with her and are also in charge of her. Too old to have "fights" or anything I have to supervise. On my husband's side, the kids are 13 months, 7, and 9....so my 3.5 year old tends to play with the 7 and 9 year old while the adults keep the the 13 month old and our 15 month old corralled together. We let the older kids go play alone in the basement or upstairs and haven't had any issues so far. Maybe again because they are so much older? But they are very gentle and nice with my 3.5 year old so we haven't had any issues. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658522 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 10:03:44 +0000 catgirl 2658522@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@SweetCaroline: those type of situations, with the glue guns, are what make it so hard for us to visit family. I don't expect people to have baby proofed houses but there are things to be careful of when kids are around. Last time we were with my great aunt she had open pill bottles on her coffee table and she was mad I wanted to move them. So many other crazy things like that. </p> <p>As far as DH this was a bigger issue last year when DD was 1. He's gotten better about being aware of where she is. If I have had her I always make a point of saying to him "DH I am going to do x you need to watch her." And I never assume a family member is paying enough attention. Even those that have had children forget how quickly a kid can get in to something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658501 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 09:21:05 +0000 cat620 2658501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I agree with this. I have a 3 and 1 year-old, but I still make sure to keep an eye on the older one, because he's capable of getting into mischief. Also, if there are other kids around, I have to watch him to make sure they are all playing nicely and not fighting or being too rambunctious. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658498 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 09:16:35 +0000 looch 2658498@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@twodoghouse: Yes, agreed. As they get older, they are more sure of their movements and their surroundings, but they (in my opinion) shouldn't be left to their own devices in mixed age group company. </p> <p>That's why I am always there, I don't care what the other parents say about it. I know they were probably like OMG she's smothering her son, but I am okay with that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658493 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 09:10:13 +0000 twodoghouse 2658493@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: I get what you mean. My son, especially, is capable of a higher level of mischief at 2.5 than he was a year ago! I can see that getting worse, not better, over time. But, from a twin mom perspective, at 2.5 I'm much less worried about them hurting themselves if I can't be with both of them at once. Now they can go up down steps safely, climb on and off chairs by themselves, get involved in an activity that will occupy them for long periods of time so I can breathe. So in that sense, it has gotten easier for me! I don't know what the next couple of years will hold, though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658490 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 09:04:58 +0000 twodoghouse 2658490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a system where we assign ourselves to one kid and if anything is changing, we just keep communication up with each other so we always know the status. If one of us needs to get something done, even go to the bathroom, we will say "I'm going to do this. You're in charge of both of them." Or if one of us is in a conversation and one of the kids wanders away, the other will just acknowledge that "I've got her" or whatever. It sounds sort of elementary, but my husband will get distracted easily by a conversation, so the verbal reminder helps him out so I don't get mad at him for not reading my mind. It's not always one parent per baby, either, as I spend all day watching both of them and obviously survive. But it's just that verbal reminder that both kids are accounted for. I second @trailmix that it gets easier past two. A and B are 2.5 now and can play by themselves for a while (as long as the house we are in is somewhat kid-proof), so DH and I just need to watch out of the corner of our eyes to make sure they aren't destroying something. :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658486 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:57:42 +0000 looch 2658486@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: You're going to think I am nuts, but I don't think it gets better as the kids get older, I think it gets different and more complicated. </p> <p>One thing I have noticed is that it is perfectly fine for me to leave my younger son around older children, but not with younger. This year, at Thanksgiving, a 4 year old body slammed my almost 6 year old. Had both of us parents been there, it wouldn't have been a good situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658472 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:36:53 +0000 catlady 2658472@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hated this when my LO was that age. I felt like everyone assumed that someone else was watching her, which meant nobody was. It does get easier though. She's 3 now and this year I've felt like I've been able to relax a lot more when we're at family gatherings. Part of it is not worrying as much about her getting into things, and part of it is that family members are more apt to actually play and engage with her for longer periods of time now that she's older and can hold a conversation. Thanksgiving was actually relaxing for me because one of my cousins decided to spend a bunch of quality time with all the little ones and basically watched them the whole time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658471 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:36:49 +0000 Anagram 2658471@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: you are in a rough time, but it gets better after age 2 or so when you can leave the kiddos alone for longer.</p> <p>Mine are 3.5 and 15 months and we only have to keep an eye on the 15 month old. Luckily for me, this is one area my husband really shines in--he's just as involved as I am in watching our girls. Also, all of our parents are really good at watching them too. It's honestly a vacation for me when I go to my mom's house or my in-law's house because they are all so good at taking the girls and entertaining them.</p> <p>I would have a sit down conversation before the next trip or family gathering and use I statements and tell your husband how you feel. "I feel like I never get a chance to sit and talk because I have to watch the kids all day while you are socializing kid free", and come up with some solutions together. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658463 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:26:52 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2658463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Normal. Now with 3 we are constantly telling each other, I've got this one, or Can you take that one. We've kinda agreed that one of us still monitors if family is "watching". But our family is really good that if they are on duty they are on duty again until they pass it back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658462 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:26:07 +0000 travelgirl1 2658462@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happens with us a lot. I got annoyed with DH on Bonfire Night for sitting on the sofa watching sport with his brothers and cousin while I was left to chase both our kids around a large unbabyproofed house. At my family functions he prefers to at least take the baby and try nap him so he gets out of socialising :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658455 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:17:25 +0000 cat620 2658455@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would say whenever we go to visit family or to a party of some sort, I'm the one in charge of watching the kids 80% of the time. I have to tell him when I need him to take over, and even then, I'll notice him paying attention for a few minutes, and then walking away to get a beer or something. It's so annoying! I'm not sure he realizes how much work it is to follow two kids around making sure they are both behaving and not getting hurt (I have a 3 and a 1 year-old). I feel like I can't ever relax when we go out, and I'm constantly having to leave in the middle of conversations to grab a child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658453 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:16:07 +0000 Foodnerd81 2658453@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Silva: yes, dh gets the same way with his brothers. Like they make plans to go do something dumb or play video games for a long time and I'm like, look, this is my holiday too and we have kids. Even last year when we had a one week old baby I had to remind him a couple of times. He's actually better at our house though I think-because he is used to being an adult here and being the responsible one, as opposed to being the kid at his moms house. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658449 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 08:05:44 +0000 Silva 2658449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>For some reason this is the one time my husband is a completely lazy parent. Maybe it's because he reverts back to adolescence whenever there are older parents there? He spent all thanksgiving lying on the floor infront of the tv playing on his phone. I wanted to kick him in the gut.<br /> He's usully a fantastic involved co parent. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658438 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 07:47:18 +0000 SweetCaroline 2658438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I do the same thing as @Foodnerd81: . If DH is not in the room and I have to do something, I pointedly ask my SIL or MIL or FIL to watch DD. I never assume someone (the masses) is watching her. </p> <p>DH usually gets busy talking and I have to ask him for a break. It wouldn't be that big of a deal except crap is never babyproofed so it is exhausting. They had hot glue guns out making ornaments last weekend. Nobody was alarmed when DD was running around by them and the cords. Ay! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658431 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 07:39:15 +0000 Adira 2658431@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I feel like Hubs and I trade off, depending on who's family we're seeing. When we visit his family, I tend to watch the kids more so he can socialize with his family and catch up. When we visit my family, he tends to watch the kids more so I can socialize! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658429 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 07:37:17 +0000 Foodnerd81 2658429@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah we have that issue, even when we only had one. And it's extra hard at someone else's house where they haven't baby proofed the same way you have. </p> <p>Now I generally make sure to say to one specific person "can you watch c/g while I go ---?" And remind dh to keep an eye. But our 3 yo can generally be left for a few minutes without getting into too much trouble. It's the baby who is a few months behind your twins who seems hell bent on getting hurt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658415 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 06:40:03 +0000 ValentineMommy 2658415@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This is my DH all the damn time, at every family function. I constantly have to remind him "you're on duty with DS1/2", or "I have to go to the bathroom, can you watch them for one second?". It's so aggravating....the expectation that you or someone else is handling it, without making sure, drives me nuts. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658414 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 06:32:48 +0000 hellobeeboston 2658414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bluestriped bee: yeah, this is a tricky thing we have been working on. Our first is now 4 but the baby is almost 14 months. I can imagine it's tough with twins!!! The 4 year old can be left alone with his cousins now which is great. Then we try to take turns keeping an eye on the baby and getting a chance to relax and have some good conversation with family. We both were talking and my 14 year old nephew was watching the baby and he fell down a couple stairs (he was totally fine) but that ended us thinking we could each keep an eye off of him. </p> <p>I think it's a matter of each of you feeling like you get a little adult time to catch up. But I just think with busy twins it might be a little while till you can totally relax at family gatherings!</p> <p>And, as you see your family more now (congrats on the move back!) you'll trust them more now too I bet. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658413 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 06:29:24 +0000 Trailmix 2658413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You're at the hardest age, by far! From about age 1-2 years, it's super hard with twins. Gets much much easier after age 2! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658412 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 06:27:41 +0000 brownepiano 2658412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's like this anywhere I go with two kids, although mine aren't twins so I can take my eyes off them in different situations. I think it is just hard wired into me from being with them all day and not into DH. He'll watch them if I ask him to, but then I need to step back and let him do his version of watching. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-and-always-keeping-an-eye-on-all-your-kids#post-2658404 Tue, 29 Nov 2016 03:42:37 +0000 BSB 2658404@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we had our first big holiday family gathering and it is so much different with kids. Not complaining just trying to figure out how things work logistically. </p> <p>So I pretty much had to make sure I knew where both the twins were at all times. Even when family was 'watching' them. </p> <p>I guess I was annoyed that DH was out in the sunroom talking to his family member with no kids in sight. I'm with one baby and I start walking around the house and see my daughter unattended under a coffee table. Luckily, I caught her before she broke anything or hurt herself. </p> <p>Being that this was the first big holiday, it dawned on me how my SIL would get mad at my brother for him not knowing where all of his kids are. </p> <p>I did tell the DH how DD was left unattended. He response was "I thought someone was watching her." He agreed that he will make sure he will keep track or make sure the kids are in his sight. I would, of course, do the same.</p> <p>Babies are almost 15 months. Both are mobile with one walking and the other can crawl pretty fast. Enjoying this time before both of them can walk. :grin: </p> <p>To end on a positive note, it was good to be back home for the holidays since we moved back to the east coast. These big family gatherings will now be more common now that we are closer to home. </p>