https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 30 May 2026 17:01:01 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964565 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 14:54:46 +0000 lamariniere 1964565@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My ILs, well, mainly my MIL, always wants to do a lot of babysitting, so much so that I feel like I don't even get to see my own kids, which I'm not ok with. I mean, it's nice to have a date night or two, but she's all about the kids all day long. She also does most of the cooking, but they don't eat the same kinds of foods as I do (heavy on the meat and potatoes), so I don't feel that bad about not cooking. So in a way, I guess it's more lax with the parenting duties, but being with them always stresses me out (they were just here this weekend!) and I don't really feel relaxed.</p> <p>With my dad, we strike a good balance between his time with them and our family time, but I can also discuss with him directly whereas I leave my DH to deal with his parents.</p> <p>I don't think there is any right answer though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964562 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 14:50:59 +0000 Smurfette 1964562@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents totally help out. They get up early with her and let us sleep in. We don't go on dates but I can at their house and relax. I know R is taken care of.</p> <p>The ILs are 100% opposite. I don't think they would know how to even change her diaper. They are just awkward around her. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964553 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 14:36:22 +0000 looch 1964553@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have lived away from my parents and inlaws. They are actually very similar, in that they help a lot. We can go out to dinner or for an overnight trip when we visit no problem. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964432 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 11:49:17 +0000 Anagram 1964432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think either of our parents are happy to help with LO if we specifically ask, but neither sets would use their own money to buy gear and I wouldn't ask them to. We either go without or bring our own (like neither set has any kind of pack n play so we bought a travel crib we can fly with and we bring an umbrella stroller and do without everything else). It can be challenging to feed LO without a proper high chair but buying a ton of gear adds up so we wouldn't ask them to buy it..</p> <p>We also bought a cheap car seat to keep at my moms; even though we are only there twice a year. </p> <p>Neither side ever makes us feel like an inconvenience though- they are always super excited to have us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964401 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 11:09:15 +0000 blackbird 1964401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>More like the first set (even though I find my family emotionally draining and I hesitate to call it a break). I'm not very inclined to spend a lot of time with people who aren't interested in her (like my dad). I don't think it's normal behavior, frankly </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964395 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 11:04:14 +0000 BandDmommy 1964395@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My parents are the helpful grandparents. My MIL brings the drama and isn't overly interested in playing with LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964392 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 11:01:06 +0000 Tanjowen 1964392@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both sets are more the first scenario and are great about giving us a break, but we live 15 minutes from my parents, so we don't really stay at their place - they do offer to take care of LO when we need a date night though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964370 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 10:33:11 +0000 Applesandbananas 1964370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I never catch a break, they're all closer to the second scenario. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964360 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 10:16:00 +0000 JoyfulKiwi 1964360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All our sets of parents are like the first set you described in regards to LOs care. They all offer to watch him, play with him, and let us take a nap/have a date night/run errands alone. We generally clean up after ourselves like in any guest situation, but my parents do a little more of the "we'll clean, cook, do everything for you" routine. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964354 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 10:12:07 +0000 yellowbird 1964354@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Dhs parents are like the first set of grandparents you describe. They are wonderful!!!!! My parents do a good bit with her and make our food and help us clean up but aren't as insistent that we take it easy. I feel like we're really lucky with both. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/visiting-family-during-the-holidays#post-1964350 Sun, 30 Nov 2014 10:09:53 +0000 luckypenny 1964350@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you visit family do you get to relax on parenting duties and go out with your SO? </p> <p>Trying to figure out what's the "norm". Two sets of grandparents basically insist we don't clean, go on date nights, take naps, and enjoy ourselves. With one other set of grandparents I feel like we are a huge inconvenience to them. I have to beg them to get baby gear, they ask us to clean up after ourselves (which I generally think we do but obviously not good enough), they never offer to watch the kids and they don't play with the kids when we are here, at all. We have to ask them to hold/play with the kids. </p>