https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 28 Apr 2026 05:25:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394229 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 22:02:13 +0000 Mrs. Fix 394229@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am a pretty light sleeper so even if DH is helping on the weekends it's just easier for me to have the monitor by me. LO is only getting up once at night and I pump exclusively so it's nice for DH to take care of LO while I pump. However since I'm still on leave, he only gets up on the weekends which is working just fine. We will have to see when I go back in a few weeks! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394206 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 21:41:58 +0000 Honeybee 394206@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I SAH and DH usually gets up once a night. It's easier, since I'm not breastfeeding but with two kids it's easier to divide and conquer. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394145 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:58:40 +0000 Sammyfab 394145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessicaMcB: I see where you're coming from and I did feel guilty at times waking DH up when he had to go to work the next day. But being a SAHM is a freaking hard job too (where you need to be well-rested and functioning)!! :D </p> <p>I've left my LO with DH for 24 hours twice and he's commended me for staying at home with our LO everyday because he was absolutely exhausted (and this was with NO middle of the night duties!). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394140 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:48:56 +0000 knittingmama 394140@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessicaMcB: Oh, well, I guess I think of taking care of a LO as working, too. If you weren't on leave, you would have to pay a nanny or daycare. I *do* understand your viewpoint, but I wanted to point out why I think differently. I think my own mother and MIL think like you—"He's going out to earn money, you can take care of the baby all the day and night," but I found the early days (first 8 weeks or so) of taking care of her so much harder than any paid job, that I really needed the help and the breaks my husband could give when he was at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394126 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:36:29 +0000 JessicaMcB 394126@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@knittingmama: @Sammyfab: Definitely wasn't judging anyone else's choices, sorry if it came across that way. If other people's husbands want to get up in the night I'd say more power to them! </p> <p>I do however stand by how we've chosen to take care of Emma- even if DH worked in an office we'd probably still choose to do it this way because he's the one actually out working and bringing in the money (not really sure why pointing out that he is actually the one going to work is offensive as it's true?) while I'm on maternity leave. I'm on leave quite literally to take care of her YKWIM? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394116 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:33:00 +0000 Chastenet 394116@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In the early days when he was still on vacation and LO wasn't yet sleeping as well he would sometimes get up at night and take care of her. But since I have the boobs, most of the night awakenings have been handled by me. Also, we stopped changing her diaper at night after about 2 weeks, I just feed her and put her back to sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394111 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:29:25 +0000 Sammyfab 394111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessicaMcB: understandable. If my husband had a job where he needed to be well-rested or was on his feet all day, I probably wouldn't have woken him as often as I had. I do agree with @knittingmama about your wording. It's a little off-putting. it can easily be interpreted as if all of the other moms who choose to wake up their DH (or DHs who choose to be woken up) aren't doing their jobs properly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394101 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:21:29 +0000 chrispygal 394101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope, never. DH would do the late evening feeding and I would go to bed around 8pm and then wake up in the middle of the night when LO needed to be fed. When I went back to work I was still the one to get up in the middle of the night. LO started sleeping through the night shortly thereafter so it's worked well. Now if LO fusses, I'm usually the one who wakes up first so I'll go to her but it DH hears it, he'll go too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394098 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:20:23 +0000 knittingmama 394098@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessicaMcB: I understand why it's important for your husband to sleep with his job (mine works at an office, so it's different for us), but I find your phrasing a little...strange. </p> <p>I don't think it's "pawning off" my daughter to have my husband wake up at night to change her before I nurse her. It's one thing to let your husband sleep because of the type of job he does (like yours), it's another to describe a job outside the home as "actually working." </p> <p>It's something my husband and I spoke about, because I think he had a similar thought process as to you (and in the beginning, I did let him sleep through some of the feedings, and now that she sleeps through the night, it's fine), but I was quite resentful—to me, if it's possible, both parents should help out at night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394085 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:09:34 +0000 JessicaMcB 394085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sammyfab: In my husband's case, definitely. I don't get a year's maternity leave just to pawn her off on my husband who is actually working especially when it's dangerous for him to be sleep deprived. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394081 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 20:06:40 +0000 lovehoneybee 394081@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I'd have to get up and kick at DH to get him up, though. He's slept through E screaming for 5 minutes right next to him (I was in the shower)...he's a ridiculously heavy sleeper. I wake up instantly and can have him changed and settled onto my breast in the time it would take me to wake DH up. </p> <p>We co-sleep the second half of the night, though, and I side-nurse, so it really is just a matter of settling him on my breast before I'm falling back asleep. And the rest of the night he almost never wakes up wanting to be changed, and if he's hungry he can turns his head and can latch. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394054 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 19:46:52 +0000 baby98765 394054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>um, yes. Our baby screamed bloody murder when he woke up hungry so one of us would wrangle him and change the diaper while the other went to make the bottle. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings/page/2#post-394039 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 19:39:47 +0000 autumnlove 394039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH did most of the night wakings for the first month when he was on leave. I was mostly pumping so he gave her bottles. I took over when he went back to work! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-394001 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 19:14:22 +0000 hellobeeboston 394001@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ChelseaRose: that is exactly what we do! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393976 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:58:48 +0000 littlek 393976@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@junebugmama: hahaha my DHis the same way... It takes him forever to wake up </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393974 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:58:35 +0000 Pink Champagne 393974@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH gets up with me at our one night feeding-around 4:30 am- he gives LO a bottle of pumped milk while I go pump. From start to finish, we are all back in bed in 20 minutes max. Much better than the hour it was taking for me to get up, feed the baby, burp, change, swaddle, and then be in pain for an hour because LO is the laziest nurser in the middle of the night, so he would always latch badly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393967 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:56:29 +0000 Sammyfab 393967@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JessicaMcB: I'm curious as to what you mean by "doing my job for me." Are daddies off the job once bedtime rolls around? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393964 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:54:28 +0000 NerdBee 393964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm on mat leave and DH has a long commute to work. I think driving while sleep deprived is dangerous so I let him sleep. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393955 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:48:44 +0000 LemonLong 393955@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We put the baby in the nursery right away. The first week when we were both home, we took shifts sleeping- one of us on the floor of the nursery and one in our bedroom. He would come get me for feelings. That way we both got some sleep. </p> <p>After he went back to work, I sleep in the nursery and and then on Fridays and Saturdays he comes sleeps with me and does all the diaper changes. I'm hoping she'll be sleeping through the night or at least close to it by the time my maternity leave is over and then we will both move back to our bedroom and use the monitor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393934 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:35:47 +0000 Mrs. Superhero 393934@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did, but he worked nights so he was either able to sleep in, or not at home. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393888 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:10:50 +0000 junebugmama 393888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. My husband is like a zombie when he wakes up. It would take 5 times as long for him to do it. He offers to do it, but it doesn't make sense. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393883 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 18:02:39 +0000 JessicaMcB 393883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The short answer would be hellz no. My husband works around live electricity and could die at work if he's exhausted from doing my job for me. So even though up until last night (she's 26 days old) she would only let me sleep an hour a day and I was losing my mind I STILL took care of her by my onesie. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393878 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:56:36 +0000 MrsRcCar 393878@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH wakes up when DS wakes at night. We all sleep in the same room so we are always up together. DH tries to give me a break. I work from home and he works full-time out of the house. We try to split everything 50/50. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393873 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:54:38 +0000 prettylizy 393873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coacheswife123: Honestly, do what feels right for you guys. DH came back to our room when Prettybaby was down to 2 wakings a night and they were quick and painless (After avout 4 or 5 weeks I think?). The hardest part for us at that time was getting her back to sleep, sometimes it would take over 30 minutes. I would be so upset trying to keep her quiet and the stress was NOT helping the baby relax at all. I'm like you, I rarely ever want us in seperate bedrooms but it made us all so much happier. I wasn't close to ready for any nocturnal action at that point anyway so it's not like we were missing out on intimacy either! lol! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393868 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:50:34 +0000 blackbird 393868@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When i'm home on maternity leave, I'm going to take care of the weekday duties. He's going to take care of Friday nights and maybe another night in the middle of the week for me. This way i'm not a total zombie. But i'm respectful of the fact that he has to drive to work (safely) and work with other people (coherently) and i can sit around the house with my eyes glazing over. We'll see how the plan works out. In the beginning, he will probably have to bring her to me since I'll be sore. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393857 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 17:47:22 +0000 Kemma 393857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I usually let DH sleep (Baby is in her own room next door) but I will wake him up if she's somehow managed to get poo everywhere or we're having some other sort of crisis! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393624 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 16:02:08 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 393624@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coacheswife123: we do this....well the first half of the night were together, but that's only like 5h, the last 4h of the night were apart because after 4am, DS starts waking every hour so DH makes a run for it. So it's been perfect for us. He gets his sleep and we still get our time;) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393619 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 16:00:00 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 393619@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Absolutely not! I stay home and watch baby. He works. He needs his sleep.<br /> That being said: he occasionally gets up sometimes anyways because he feels bad for me:/ haha and he will feed baby while I mosey out of bed but then he will go back to sleep &amp; I'll burp and change baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393559 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 15:36:54 +0000 heffalump 393559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I did..... well he woke up anyway because he's a light sleeper. But I didn't feel bad about it. I couldn't nap when LO napped because she would only nap in my arms and I was always scared of dropping her. And taking care of a newborn is hard, I needed my sleep too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/waking-up-dh-for-middle-of-the-night-feedings#post-393544 Mon, 12 Nov 2012 15:31:20 +0000 sarac 393544@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@coacheswife123: My husband and I would normally never consent to sleep apart, but there were times when we did so due to baby sleeping issues, like when we recently night weaned. It sucked, but sleep became a priority. And it didn't last long. </p>