https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 06 May 2026 23:28:42 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859595 Sat, 01 Dec 2018 23:43:20 +0000 QBbride 2859595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have the same fears. It keeps me awake at night, actually. Or I fear that I will get sick and I will be SO angry as I am dying because I don’t want to leave my children :crying: </p> <p>I think speaking to someone isn’t a bad idea. I really don’t think it would be a bad idea. Just wanted to say that I hear you :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859465 Sat, 01 Dec 2018 00:59:01 +0000 Dynamite 2859465@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a lot of intrusive thoughts and anxiety post partum. The second time around was much worse. The sleep deprivation was a major factor. Also my MIL caused a huge amount of tension between my DH and me. It was a shitty time. Zoloft didn't help me because my DH gave me so much grief about taking it. Things eventually got better. It took a long time though. I scaled back my work ambitions and focused more on self care and my family. It sucks, because we're pretty strapped for cash, but I no longer feel hollowed out all the time. You're only 9 months out? Things started improving for me at the 18 month mark. I suppose I could have gotten help sooner, but I had no back up child care, no health insurance, and no energy to make the damn phone call. My mom had a pretty similar PPD experience. She didn't have to worry about the MIL factor. I knew I should have listened to her advice and married an orphan. :silly: I know how hard it is and I'm sure you're doing the best you can. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859382 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 15:39:25 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2859382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What @pachamama said about seeing a therapist not being a magical cure all really rings true to me even though I’ve found it quite helpful. I assumed I would see a therapist and magically they would make me better and I wouldn’t be anxious ever again. But seeing my therapist made me realize that my brain is wired to assume the worst, constantly worry and obsess and it’s actual WORK for me to reframe my thinking when I feel those thoughts bubbling up. We worked on creating strategies to cope and even just knowing I had an appointment coming or could make one if needed, helped me a lot. Also realizing I could reframe my ways of thinking, no matter how hard it was, helped me realize my anxiety doesn’t have to dictate my life and was empowering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859376 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 15:20:38 +0000 pachamama 2859376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: I'm sorry you're going through this. I too have similar anxieties you have and while I know they are irrational (the health paranoia especially) I can't help but feel them. I feel like my brain has been hijacked since having kids and I'm not the same person in terms of worry. interestingly, there's a lot of nasceny research that shows our post-natal brains really *are* hijacked. Even things like MRIs show significant changes in our neurological chemistry and hormonal makeup. They say it's evolutionarily important for moms to become extremely anxious through the early stages of their kids' lives as a protective measure. It's fascinating if you want to look into it (aka Google lol).<br /> So I do see a therapist but I don't think it's been any magic thing that made me feel better. A lot of it was to get people off my back lol. But I am in a better place. Really, surrending to the fact that motherhood in these early years is just tremendously hard has made me feel better. I have a 3 year old and I am definitely seeing the light at the end of the tunnel (well,... I'm 34 weeks pregnant so things will be dark soon, but I know there is light at the end of these early times when we are in the trenches!)<br /> Hope this helped. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859365 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 14:33:18 +0000 snowjewelz 2859365@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I echo a lot of what others already said; that's normal but if it's gripping you so much it's probably better to see someone and get some help to manage/reduce it. I just want to give you some virtual hugs :heart: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859346 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 13:47:57 +0000 DesertDreams88 2859346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok, coming back to add more detail. I had a horrible year about 4 years ago with multiple traumatic events (deaths, losses, floods, IF, etc). IT triggered anxiety that basically everything good was hanging on a precipice and I was too lucky to have a baby and that at any point, something would happen to him (scorpions, drowning, eating rocks, choking, falling, SIDS(!!), disease, car accident, etc). It was like the volume in my head was way up and it was a non-stop mantra of worries that I was drowning in and didn't realize that I was. Many times I promised myself I'd call and get help the next morning, and then I would chicken out.</p> <p>Over time, especially at the 1 year mark, things got better and better. I then looked back in retrospect and realized I NEVER wanted to live like that again and that it was NOT healthy for me OR my relationships. I talked about it openly with my friends, husband, and OB, and made them hold me accountable. </p> <p>When the worries got out of control and started impacting my marriage at 5 months postpartum, I called and left a message on the nurse line at my OB. She called back right away, called in a Zoloft script, and had me start the next day, and come in for a talk. I then have met with her every 3 months to talk. She will prescribe Zoloft until 1 year postpartum then wants me to switch to a therapist of general doctor. </p> <p>It has been a game changer for me. I didn't realize life could be this way. I am a more relaxed person about everything. I am more pleasant to be around, honestly. When I buckle my son into his car seat, I think "good enough" and then think "woahhhh is that how other moms feel?" when my daughter eats a leaf at the park, I think "oh darn" and then "wow, I didn't think she would die.... that's nice." When I think about my kids spending 8 hours away from me, I think about all the lovely things and skills they are learning while being loved by their grandparents, instead of obsessing over their sleep and diet. </p> <p>Therapy was a hard commitment for me as a working mom and because all of my anxiety centers around being away from my kids, so more therapy means more time away. I have not gone to therapy but I think I have gained a lot of new perspective since Zoloft has turned the anxiety volume way done, I can see things more clearly. I am weaning off of it right now and trying to keep my new perspectives. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859338 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 13:26:57 +0000 Dahlia 2859338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like I was, and I definitely needed therapy and Zoloft. </p> <p>You don't lose anything by seeing someone, even if they help you decide that you don't need help. I would try it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859311 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 11:56:05 +0000 babypugs 2859311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think it's pretty normal to have these sorts of fears (we all love our kids more than life itself), but if they are interfering with your enjoyment of your children and the thoughts intrude to the point where you are unable to focus on anything else, I think you're right--it's time to seek outside help. I get it, mama, and it's hard--sending lots of love your way. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859304 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 11:15:09 +0000 shabang 2859304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's such a fine line, isn't it?</p> <p>I feel like anxiety is like a pot of water boiling on the stove. As long as I can keep it from boiling over, I consider that (somewhat) manageable. Since having kids, it's a continual exercise to push those thoughts out of my head. </p> <p>Not sure what to say except I understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859288 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 10:14:16 +0000 LBee 2859288@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not normal. Seek help. </p> <p>I’ve been there - you are missing time with your sweet girls obsessing. This time last year I was in a dark place and I have so many regrets I didn’t get help sooner. I wasted so much time worrying. I was physically worn down by the emotional toll it was taking on me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859284 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 09:56:52 +0000 Sams Mom 2859284@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't read any of the responses yet but this was me. I was about 4 months postpartum, had just returned to work, and I was terrified my son was going to die. Like I basked in all of it when I was holding him, but it was like since he was no longer in the womb I couldn't protect him. And I was having a hard time letting go of all of the what ifs that could happen to him. Especially when he was away from me.</p> <p>I would say either talk to your doctor about upping your dose and/or seek out therapy. I started Zoloft after finally asking my doctor for help because I didn't think I was supposed to be this worried. It helped a lot. I have not tried therapy, but I know it has helped many of my friends that have had PPA/PPD/PPP. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859281 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 09:48:47 +0000 Mama Bird 2859281@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds normal :bummed: I'm getting a fair bit of that now, maybe because I'm used to everything being an uphill battle, and when it gets easier, I keep expecting the other shoe to drop. But as others say, seeing someone can help and might get your worry to a more manageable level. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859266 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 09:06:19 +0000 gotkimchi 2859266@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: def see someone. You don’t have to live like this. It took me a long time to realize that and seek help myself. You can’t get this time back so call someone today. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859263 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 09:02:19 +0000 DesertDreams88 2859263@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Short version is, no it is not normal, and yes I've definitely been in your shoes. Call your OB right now and leave a message if you have to. Say that you Have been experiencing anxiety ever since baby's birth, and for probably longer, and you really need to speak to someone. Therapy would be great but push for meds meanwhile. Meds take a while to take effect and build-up in your system, so it's best to start right away.</p> <p> I say this based on this post and many others.❤❤❤ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859253 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 08:15:02 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2859253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with others that constant worry about your children is something all parents have to a small degree but I think what you’re saying is going beyond what is normal, especially when it interferes with your time with them.</p> <p>I had this issue as well during our first sons pregnancy. I worried a lot about him getting to us safely and constantly felt nervous. Once he was born, it went away for a little but got very intense around age 2 when he was hospitalized for 8 days with pneumonia and RSV. I was convinced he wouldn’t survive. Once we got home this transformed into hyper vigilance for how he was feeling, if he had a fever, was his cough too much, etc to the point I could not enjoy being around him and would actively try to not be around him for fear he would get sick/die right before my eyes. That’s when I knew it wasn’t normal. I started seeing a therapist who helped me develop strategies to let go of the control I desperately wanted and deal with my health anxiety. It really really helped. I still have times when the kids get sick where I feel it start up but I have better coping strategies now. </p> <p>All this to say is I totally get what you feel and I think it’s awesome you recognize it might be beyond normal thoughts. I would discuss with a therapist, especially one who does CBT. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859235 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 06:03:09 +0000 catgirl 2859235@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, it is normal to worry about your kids. But the amount of worry you seem to have does not seem normal. Based on so many of your posts I think you could really benefit from a therapist. But also know you might not click with the first therapist you try. It can, sometimes, take a couple of tries to find the right fit. I wish you luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859227 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 02:00:19 +0000 youboots 2859227@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think you would really benefit from seeing a therapist. From this post and others you have made I think it could really be positive for you. I week once a week for over 6 months for a different type of anxiety- I had fears about pregnancy and labor. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859226 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 01:59:14 +0000 mediagirl 2859226@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@CatchAFallingStar: I have the same thoughts and worries. Did you have any discussions with your OB after birth of your second daughter about ppa? I think the all-consuming worry that something bad is going to happen is not normal. I feel comfortable saying that because I feel that way too sometimes. It was worse when my lo was younger. I'd suggest talking to someone. Maybe your OB can make the first suggestion on who?</p> <p>I'm due next week with my second and after all the worries and anxieties I had with my first, I'm pretty sure I'll be askijg for help this time around. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859225 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 01:55:00 +0000 lamariniere 2859225@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everyone has some degree of worry like this about their LOs, but your thoughts sound like they are outside of the bounds of normal since you are constantly thinking about these things and you can't seem to shake them off. I myself have anxiety (about different things) and I see a therapist regularly. CBT has helped me immensely in my ability to process my thoughts and reduce my anxiety. I went through therapy a few years ago and it was very successful, but I've had new issues crop up in the last year or so and got help again as soon as I realized that I needed it. Be kind to yourself, and remember that thoughts are just thoughts. Help is definitely available and you shouldn't have to deal with this alone. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/warning-this-may-be-a-trigger-for-some-post-partum-anxiety#post-2859224 Fri, 30 Nov 2018 01:23:06 +0000 CatchAFallingStar 2859224@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I guess I just want to know if my thoughts are normal or if they are severe anxiety seeping through my medication. I’m considering seeking a therapist. </p> <p>I find it hard to enjoy my two girls sometimes because I worry that having them is too good to be true. I constantly worry that I’ll lose them. That one of them will die. It hurts to even write that. But I think about it every day. I’m haunted by it. The thought of losing them absolutely kills me. I know I could not go on living if anything were to happen to them. </p> <p>I love them with literally all of my being. They’re what I’ve waited for and wanted my entire life. I had them at 36 and 39 (they’re almost 4 and 9 months). Of course there are difficult times, but I usually just bask in the glow of them. But sometimes at night, I think back on the day or look at pictures and start to worry and fear and panic about losing either of them. </p> <p>Does anyone else think this way or have these worries? I know everyone worries about their kids, but is this normal? </p> <p>I can’t talk to anyone about this in real life. So, thank you for “listening.” :heart: </p>