Hellobee Boards Topic: Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 25 Apr 2026 20:46:25 +0000 MRSJX3 on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751660 Sat, 24 Jun 2017 10:31:52 +0000 MRSJX3 2751660@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think you did the right thing. Trust your intuition. I'm in early childhood ed and can tell you that for every quality center, there are low quality centers. Littlebit7 on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751637 Sat, 24 Jun 2017 08:01:46 +0000 Littlebit7 2751637@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @oneleaf: just from a basic glance, sure your decision was rash but that doesn't mean it wasn't unfounded. You trusted your instincts. The upside is you most likely saved yourselves a ton of stress. The likely scenario would have been that things might have gotten a little better, say 50%, but that is still not awesome and you still would have had a pit in your stomach most of the day. I'd just move on which it sounds like you are doing. It's all life and experience and little bumps in the road in the grand scheme of things. oneleaf on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751596 Sat, 24 Jun 2017 02:04:06 +0000 oneleaf 2751596@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thanks so much for all of your replies. It is good to gain perspective from other parents, since we are new at this. Parenting is so emotional, and in hindsight, there may have been better ways to deal with this. The owner did tell me he thinks new parents peek in too much. However, neither my wife and I are the type that would normally peek in every 1 to 2 hours (honest!). We have left our daughter for longer with new caregivers. We only kept going back because we didn't like what we saw. On the other hand, I am willing to admit that the first impression might have perpetuated my ill feelings towards the school as I kept going back. I am certainly not angry at the school, but the more I think about it, the more I am convinced it was not a good fit for her. @lamariniere: It's too bad your DD's daycare has changed so much for the worse. I also felt that may have happened to the school my daughter went to. And of course, I need to be prepared for that if the dynamic changes at the new place. lamariniere on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751593 Sat, 24 Jun 2017 01:13:41 +0000 lamariniere 2751593@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Agree with others about trusting your instincts. That's great that you were able to find another solution so quickly. I also wanted to add, my DD has been at her daycare for more than 2 years. Anyone who would have visited it a year ago would have been impressed. Anyone who would visit it this week would probably run away and never come back. I am thisclose to withdrawing her but the only centers nearby don't have openings until fall. So maybe something in the dynamic changed between when you visited and what is going on now. travellingbee on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751558 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 21:07:56 +0000 travellingbee 2751558@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @daniellemybelle: this is exactly, exactly what I was thinking! daniellemybelle on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751549 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 20:46:34 +0000 daniellemybelle 2751549@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Is 3 days pretty quick? Yep. Is it kind of overkill to peek in every 1.5-2 hours? Yep. Should you trust your gut? 100%. If you feel you did the right thing don't give it another thought. I hope the new school is great! winter_wonder on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751540 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 20:10:06 +0000 winter_wonder 2751540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ As others have said, trust your instincts. Mae on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751539 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 20:09:38 +0000 Mae 2751539@https://boards.hellobee.com/ You did the right thing. Some daycare teachers suck. My daughter is at a Goddard, and has had more teachers than I can count. Some we like, some suck-- but we don't have a lot of options given our location/schedule/etc so we choose to leave her there because she is *safe*... but I'd have pulled her a long time ago if we had a better option. And I have to say, when I meet a new teacher, I know pretty much immediately if they are going to be good or not. After 3 days, you know if that teacher sucks. ladybee on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751537 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 20:04:54 +0000 ladybee 2751537@https://boards.hellobee.com/ You made the right call. I didn't trust my gut when it came to daycare and I regretted it. nana87 on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751531 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 19:39:49 +0000 nana87 2751531@https://boards.hellobee.com/ When I first started reading your post I thought 3 days??! But then, by the end of reading I think you made the right call. The social-emotional connection is really the foundation of early learning-- kiddos this young need to build strong attachments to be comfortable and confident in their environment in order to really start exploring and learning. travellingbee on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751508 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 19:07:01 +0000 travellingbee 2751508@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I think you made the right decision. It was quick and you didn't give them time to correct it, but it seems like you could tell it wasn't the right place for your child. That's ok. My Only Sunshine on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751505 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 18:49:02 +0000 My Only Sunshine 2751505@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @oneleaf: I once pulled my kid out of a preschool the week BEFORE it was supposed to start because I got a terrible vibe at the new parent orientation. And I had really liked the school up until then! So I am a huge believer in listening to your gut. It sounds like you made a good choice for your family! SugarplumsMom on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751500 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 18:02:07 +0000 SugarplumsMom 2751500@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Trust your gut! PawPrints on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751490 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 16:34:02 +0000 PawPrints 2751490@https://boards.hellobee.com/ You made the right choice. I'm always inclined to give caregivers the benefit of the doubt, but these are huge red flags. When we drop into our daycare, even if the teachers are frazzled they always have something nice and warm to say to my kid and are absolutely going to give her their full attention and a hug if she wants to say goodbye. I usually see random kids running up to me with huge smiles on their faces. It definitely sounds like she's at a much better spot now. MrsBucky on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751488 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 16:12:42 +0000 MrsBucky 2751488@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Honestly, my gut is with you. She already sounds happier at the new place. I probably would have given it more time, due to the financial hit, but you made the choice and it sounds like the new place is warmer and that warmth is a better fit. So much of parenting is a gut decision. No sense in second guessing it now! Have faith! I hope it works out. oneleaf on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751487 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 16:10:53 +0000 oneleaf 2751487@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @pinkcupcake: I would be okay with it taking a few weeks for my daughter to get close. But I expected the teachers to be warm and give a positive and happy environment. Smiling a lot, freely giving physical comfort, etc. We tried very hard to see a glimmer of that in the first few days but just didn't see it. If they provided all of that and it took my daughter awhile to get close, that is to be expected. But I just never saw any kind of joy among the teachers or the kids that have already been there for a long time (like well over a year). If there were happy teachers and happy kids, and my daughter was shy and took weeks to warm up, I would be perfectly happy with that and that was what I expected. pinkcupcake on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751485 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 16:05:23 +0000 pinkcupcake 2751485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Three days? Yeah, you didn't give them enough time. Did you think your daughter would be super close to the texhers by the end of the 3rd day? I don't think that's normal or to be expected. oneleaf on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751484 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 16:05:16 +0000 oneleaf 2751484@https://boards.hellobee.com/ It's a good point. However, I should mention that neither my wife nor I have had a history of being overly worried when trying out new caregivers (either sitters or drop-in daycares). I think a lot of it is our impression during the handoff. Our experiences at the school just gave us a bad vibe in a way that made us keep checking back. Now, the classroom is set up in a way that it is easy for parents to peek without the teachers or the students really noticing so I don't think our presence stressed them out (if they even knew). But again, it was the vibe they gave us that made us keep wanting to check back. Other places we have dropped our daughter at had a warmth and nurturing environment such that we never felt a need to keep checking. I know it doesn't sound like it from my initial post, but I really do tend to trust other caregivers and give them space! But I do understand your point and will be sure to keep it in mind next time I see something I am not happy about. matador84 on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751479 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 15:57:59 +0000 matador84 2751479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Honestly, they may have looked stressed if you were checking in about every hour and a half. Going to school full time is a big transition for a little one and only by giving it time can you really tell if they will thrive in the environment or not. I would have talked to the director and asked more questions before pulling my kids out. You never know if you'll experience worse treatment at another facility. oneleaf on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751477 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 15:54:21 +0000 oneleaf 2751477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Thanks for the responses. I did consider speaking with the director first, but I was afraid it would create a worse environment for my daughter with me complaining about the teacher and classroom after only a couple of days. It was not the same teacher or classroom that we toured 6 months prior, and we did consider asking for another class. But we did speak with other parents there (with kids in other classrooms) and many of them had the same opinions as we did, just not as strongly (since they still kept their kids there). And so, I felt it was just how the school is run, and I really just wanted my daughter to move on to something else rather than fix something that we barely invested anything into (other than a month's tuition). littlejoy on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751452 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 15:18:30 +0000 littlejoy 2751452@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I would be disappointed in the perceived attitudes of the caregivers, and I would have asked to speak with the director. DH and I have jobs that wouldn't offer flexibility in finding new care, so unless there was a major issue that I felt wasn't being addressed, I wouldn't be able to pull her out so quickly. I would think that getting to know some of the parents would help (for the future). I get a pretty good idea of the general happenings from the other parents at school, and it helps me feel more confident. We don't have any way to check in during the day, which might help too (I don't get to create my own opinion of what I'm seeing). 2littlepumpkins on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751449 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 15:14:18 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2751449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Three days is short but sometimes your gut is right, and what's done is done and you seem happy with the new school, so no point worrying about it now! Fwiw I feel very strongly about school being fun and play based at that age. My dd just had her very last day at preschool and her teachers were sad to see her go. There is no replacement for the confidence we had in her teachers. They loved our child when she was in their care, and she blossomed. That was so important to me (and dh.) T.H.O.U. on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751445 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 15:07:22 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2751445@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Just curious, was it the same classroom, teacher, students that you toured 6 months ago? Or have things changed? Did you have any experience looking at other classrooms? All the issues you described are about the teacher and that specific classroom, maybe its an issue there more than with the school. shabang on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751442 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 15:04:37 +0000 shabang 2751442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Oh wow, 3 days does seem like you didn't give it a chance. It would have taken something pretty egregious for me to withdraw that quickly. But, what's done is done and it sounds like you and your daughter are much happier now, so I wouldn't spend more time worrying about it. Different environments are a better fit for different personalities. In the future, I would just keep in mind that kids can take weeks to adjust to a new environment, and your response to a situation can greatly affect your kid's reaction to it too. oneleaf on "Was I rash in withdrawing my child from preschool after only 3 days?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-i-rash-in-withdrawing-my-child-from-preschool-after-only-3-days#post-2751437 Fri, 23 Jun 2017 14:56:20 +0000 oneleaf 2751437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My almost 2.5 year old daughter just started preschool for the first time this week. She had previously been in drop-in daycares and had babysitters and generally does great with other caregivers. We also do a lot of classes together and she loves her teachers. 6 months ago, we enrolled her in a local Goddard School that we thought would be the best experience for her and we finally started this week. She started this week and within a few minutes, my wife and I both felt it was not the right fit for her. After two days of observing (and peeking in every hour or two), and asking my daughter questions after school, we decided to pull her out. We had a couple other preschools we were interested in, and quickly enrolled her in another one where I think she will be happy. But I can’t help but feel we (especially me!) might have been a bit rash to make such a quick decision. But here is what happened: First, when we signed up 6 months ago, the classroom environment looked really nurturing and fun. But when she finally started this week, I felt like it was a totally different environment. Here are few areas that made us unhappy with the school: - The teachers and the kids never looked happy. The teachers were not smiling. In fact, they looked stressed and miserable. This was the case during drop off, pickup, and everytime we peeked (about every 1.5 hrs over 2 days). - My daughter usually gets pretty affectionate with teachers real quick. But not at this preschool. She just looked really serious and shy the whole time. Of course, she was new, but the other kids (most of whom were there for well over a year) were the same way. I felt the teachers did not create a warm and free environment. - My daughter never got a big greeting and was never introduced to her classmates even on her first day (and my wife sat in for an hour the first morning to see how she was treated). I even had to go around asking some kids their names on the second day so that I can talk about them with my daughter. (My daughter is really good at remembering who everyone is). She got better treatment and attention at drop-in daycares than she did at the Goddard. - When my daughter wanted to hug the teacher at the end of the class, the teacher was not interested. When my daughter said bye, the teacher walked away and tiredly said bye without looking back at her. - Even by 9:30 AM, the teacher looked like she was ready to lose her mind, and she is there from 8AM to 5PM. - My daughter told me she cried a bit (which we did see a couple times we peeked). When I asked her if the teacher hugged her, she told me “no, she said shhhhh” (and made a shusshing sound to show me what the teacher did). I am inclined to believe my daughter. She has a history of being very accurate when she tells me things. - Having peeked in so many times over two days, I simply never saw any joy from the kids nor the teachers, and especially the teachers just looked really stressed out. When I filed my withdrawal letter, the director felt I did not give them a chance. And it is probably true, we could have waited longer. But this is my daughter’s first preschool experience, and I just did not want her there for another minute. I quickly enrolled her in another preschool that had an opening and already took her in for an hour just to see. And the teacher and the last couple kids there (we went at the end of the day) immediately were interested in her and made her feel special. My daughter loves the teacher and is already talking about her. My daughter even danced around happily there with one of the older kids. The teacher was so warm with my daughter, something I never saw at Goddard, not even when my daughter first walked in all timid on her first day. Of course, this was a very costly decision. We lost our one month’s tuition plus registration at Goddard, which was nearly $1000. But I still question whether the experience at Goddard was bad enough to warrant such a rash decision. I don’t want to do this everytime my daughter is in a less than perfect environment, and normally I try to work things out. But given my description, was the Goddard experience as toxic as I thought it was? Or is it normal for schools to be really serious and all about learning even for a 2-year old? Or is it normal for some days to be really stressful for the teachers and I should have given them a few more weeks to turn it around? I just felt after 2 days, we had seen enough and that there was something deeply wrong about the school. Curious your thoughts and what some of you might have done? What’s done is done and I don’t regret withdrawing her, but some perspective would be helpful in understanding what to expect as my child gets older and we deal with challenges. Thanks so much!