https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Wed, 22 Apr 2026 01:11:12 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591803 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:51:17 +0000 Alivoo01 2591803@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Less helpful which totally sucks. He's also less helpful since #2 has been born which is even worse!! I called him out on it and it doesn't make a diff. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591797 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:49:05 +0000 snowjewelz 2591797@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm 16 weeks along with #2 and DD is 19 months.</p> <p>I voted DH is more helpful, but I think he's less empathetic, haha. He def does even more when I was moping around during 1st trimester, since we have more laundry, more cleaning up, and also having to take care of DD.</p> <p>BUT I think b/c he's tired too, he's less empathetic to me feeling bad haha. Which I kinda get, but 1st trimester was definitely hard on us. It still is occasionally since I still don't feel great from time to time and am exhausted all the time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591769 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:23:27 +0000 Baby Boy Mom 2591769@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yeah definitely less helpful with the second and third, particularly during first tri. He majorly stepped up the last month with my third because he could see how much pain I was in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591754 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:09:35 +0000 catlady 2591754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had a few losses after LO and then this current pregnancy, and DH has really stepped up, although with this current one, I also had to step back up after first tri was over because he was really burnt out. We are probably 50/50 with both housework and parenting right now, but that's ok. He took over a larger portion when I was sick in first tri and will probably take some back again when I start to get too big. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591748 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:03:41 +0000 mrsjd 2591748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm still waiting on him to be helpful/more attentive during this first pregnancy. :wink: Because I'm in such good shape and have had an easy pregnancy, I think he's hard for him to even see me differently. Now that I'm 33 weeks, I really need him to take more initiative around the house! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591746 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 08:01:22 +0000 lovehoneybee 2591746@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I dunno. He definitely didn't hover around me as much the second time, but he was very hands-on with our son, which helped me a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591708 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 06:12:27 +0000 avivoca 2591708@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's been about the same. I was a lot sicker this time around and since this was not our first trip to the rodeo, he understood that while Indid not look pregnant, I was sick and exhausted and needed help. He has also been very vocal with our toddler about how she has to be careful with Mommy's belly and when he is home he does the majority of the lifting, potty breaks, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591706 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 06:09:00 +0000 MrsKoala 2591706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's done so much this second pregnancy. I've been out of commission for a lot of it due to illness and he has stepped majorly with LO1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591698 Mon, 25 Jul 2016 04:52:41 +0000 madger 2591698@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>he's definitely stepped it up the second time around, especially with helping with our 22 month old so I can lay down every once in awhile. I make sure to let him know how much I appreciate it all the time (to the point where I think it's annoying), because it makes a huge difference and his help means a lot. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591669 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 23:25:21 +0000 Boogs 2591669@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>A little in the beginning when I couldn't smell food at all. After that, I was pretty much on my own. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591655 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 22:41:49 +0000 Anagram 2591655@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think my husband was less empathetic the second time around--but he was also more busy, because I was super super sick and he had to take over a lot of the care of LO1 after he got home from work. But yeah, he didn't attend appointments or get excited about what week I was on, or really care when I complained about back aches and stuff. But he *did* take care of all of LO1s wakeups (priceless) and take over a lot on weekends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591650 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 22:19:15 +0000 jaguar 2591650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Not the same, but he was brilliant with our daughter, and has picked up the slack when I've been exhausted. Helpful in different ways, maybe? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591620 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:56:44 +0000 nana87 2591620@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He's the same amount of helpful this time, or maybe more helpful-- I can't really remember, but I think now he is more used to doing more around our home since our lo is very clingy with me so he has had to step up to balance it out. Like, pre-lo we split walking our dogs and now I rarely walk them. I wish lo would let him help more with her though, but that's on lo, not dh-- he tries to take over bed/bath/etc and she doesnt let him! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591618 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:54:10 +0000 pastemoo 2591618@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coffee-lover: I hope it gets better!<br /> Mine was a dick The first time and thought I was exaggerating. Never helped with sickness or cravings. Second time he was much more understanding and helpful. He also requested I be more vocal and blunt about my needs so that helped. And I was much sicker the second time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591615 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:51:15 +0000 Mama Bird 2591615@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes, I think so. Or maybe I was just feeling way worse because DS shared all his day care germs with me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591586 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:11:58 +0000 Mrsbells 2591586@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Coffee-lover: Sorry to hear that. Have you had a talk with him about it? When LO was born my husband didnt initially realize how much work I was actually doing especially since I was home with her and he went to work. I actually had to talk to him and ask him to take on specific tasks to ease my work load. Once I did that he was really great about it. So I definitely suggest having that talk<br /> This time around I think he is the same as the first pregnancy. Some husbands dont fullly understand the first trimester fatigue unless you really break it down for them </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591584 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 20:10:47 +0000 catomd00 2591584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>About the same empathy wise, more helpful second time because he had to be. I just couldn't do some stuff so he had to really step it up, especially with dealing with our toddler. He basically did all night time wake ups the entire time, and did all bed times in the first trimester and essentially everything the last few weeks when I got SPD so bad I couldn't walk. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591527 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:17:35 +0000 Alba4 2591527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>He had to step it up majorly my second pregnsncy because I was on modified bedrest! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591524 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:15:36 +0000 erinbaderin 2591524@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm not sure if he was less helpful or there was just more to do the second time in account of the toddler, but I definitely felt like my husband took less off my plate the second time around. He told me he kept forgetting I was pregnant because I wasn't complaining. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591523 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 18:09:33 +0000 brownepiano 2591523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH did more the second time. He didn't keep up with clutter, but he did take over everything with ds1 and all the dishes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591501 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 17:15:03 +0000 autumnleaves 2591501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>DH was busy with LO1 with my second pregnancy. The house was not as clean and there were no foot massages or coffee in bed treats the secon time around but DH gave LO1 all his baths and took over bed time and lifting when I needed him too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591496 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 16:58:46 +0000 Smurfette 2591496@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So far he is the same amount of helpful. He knows I have a lot on my plate working full time, solo parenting all week, so he does all he can on the weekends. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591494 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 16:48:45 +0000 BelugaBean 2591494@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a much harder second pregnancy so I think that made him more helpful the second time. At the same time, I limited myself less when I felt okay the second time so I didn't ask for as much help. So it was kind of mixed but he was super helpful both times. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591481 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 15:19:17 +0000 Mrs. Toad 2591481@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was and am still nauseous and he has helped with our son. On the other hand, almost nothing was cleaned. I couldn't and he didn't care. We aren't the most clean people around and had no visitors. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591480 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 15:14:29 +0000 MrsSRS 2591480@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both pregnancies I feel like DH stepped up more once I was visibly pregnant. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/was-your-so-less-helpfulempathetic-during-your-2nd-pregnancy#post-2591479 Sun, 24 Jul 2016 15:12:48 +0000 Coffee-lover 2591479@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My husband was awesome during my first pregnancy. He insisted on cleaning the bathroom because he didnt want me around fumes, asked how I was feeling, took over cat box duty with no arguments, and seemed really empathetic.</p> <p>Our daughter is just over a year old now. He is awesome with her, but most of the house stuff has fallen to me since she was born. I generally vacum, cook, clean, and feed and bathe our daughter. He loads and unloads the dishwasher. </p> <p>I am only 6 weeks along so far, and feel awful! Im so dizzy and nauseus all the time. He is not stepping up at all, and I am so much more exausted this time around having to chase around my daughter all day on top of everything else. I was wondering if anyone else noticed a change withh their husbands behavior with their other pregnancies? </p>