https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 09 Apr 2026 15:03:23 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823883 Mon, 21 May 2018 20:27:14 +0000 Amorini 2823883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@lilyofthewest: I love everything you said.</p> <p>@themrsgoff: I know, I think I’d be okay having one nursing session (before-bed) until 2, but something is tell me that we need to start the winding down now. Mamma instinct trumps all!</p> <p>@Foodnerd81: Good advice. Thanks for sharing how you handled it with your two.</p> <p>@snowjewelz: Thanks for the encouragement! Yes, I totally get it now that there are so many more distractions in the morning. Oh yeah, that nurse to sleep association is a hard one...maybe your DH can step in and you can do a brush teeth/Dad lays him down. We started doing that at 13 months and it works pretty well, but that’s partly because he gets nursed first and has nothing to complain about!</p> <p>@babypugs: Yes, nursing to sleep...it’s magic. And I did the same until 13 months. We honestly stopped it because of the teeth-brushing! For a boob man, he took to the revised routine pretty well.</p> <p>@2littlepumpkins: I think you’re right! And I will totally remember this in the next few days when we drop the morning feed. I think he’ll come around much faster when those morning distractions pop up.</p> <p>@avivoca: I would really welcome an uneventful way to end things like you had, even if it was impromptu. Like others have said, if he just took to the new normal without a giant fuss, then it would have been fine with me. However, it was a super giant fuss so, you know, mamma instinct...and all the feelings! </p> <p>@Mama Bird: Thanks for sharing! So interesting that your DS was so into the whole idea even after weaning awhile back. Sure enough, my DS went totally back to his boob habit. The morning after I wrote the post it was like he couldn’t wait! My theory is that if he gets it at night, he’ll still want it in the morning but not as much as if he hadn’t had it the night before. So first I’ll get him used to the new morning routine! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823881 Mon, 21 May 2018 20:08:26 +0000 Amorini 2823881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thanks, hive! Great thoughts and encouraging words and just good knowledge about varying experiences!</p> <p>I just wanted to circle back and let you all know what happened. The morning after he wanted na-na, not skipping a beat. At night, he wanted it. The next morning, still wanted it. Now each time, I give him a little “talk” for a few moments about him growing up and not needing na-na as much and even not at all very soon. I definitely think it will be easier to drop the morning feed first (uh, obvious!) and have a bunch of ways that I can think of to avoid the association. Nighttime is harder and I think we might hang on for a few more months, if he’s still into it.</p> <p>@AnnabelleG: You are so right that the ambivalence of weaning a toddler is hard! So hard!</p> <p>@Sams Mom: So funny that he didn’t bat an eye for you! For me, it was like the total opposite of “oh yeah, I want it!” without skipping a beat.</p> <p>@ElbieKay: Yeah, I think DH and I will have to map out the before-bed weaning. Removing me from the scene seems like the only way it will work right now.</p> <p>@MamaCate: Big feelings for sure! The whole night I sprung this on him and made my OP, I had this new mom awareness that he was going to be super, super upset with me at times, justified or not. I guess weaning is getting real about both of us moving on to new stages. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823457 Fri, 18 May 2018 12:35:56 +0000 Mama Bird 2823457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Aw, I'm sorry! That sounds pretty stressful for you both. Maybe just follow his lead over the next few days - assume he's weaned, but if he's insisting on milk, don't refuse.</p> <p>For what it's worth, even when you think weaning was a success, it can still not go "perfectly." My oldest weaned at 15 months very easily, no drama, no looking back, and I was positive he was ready. So a year and a half later, his little sister is born, and when he sees me nursing her for the first time... omg. So much drama. He seemed totally shocked at first, like he'd forgotten what nursing is, and then spent two or three weeks walking circles around me asking if he can try a sip. Poor kid. In the end I convinced him to have some milk from a cup when I had extra. Just as well that he wanted to try it, because he spent most of his second year on antibiotics and probably needed another dose of the good germs in the milk... but I felt so bad for him because he clearly wanted to go back to nursing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823446 Fri, 18 May 2018 11:33:33 +0000 avivoca 2823446@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I probably wouldn't start over. We had an abrupt weaning experience with my oldest. I was in the shower when she woke up and was okay with just a cup of milk, so we went with it. It just meant that for the next several weeks, we couldn't have milk in the bedroom because I would always bring her back into our room to nurse. It ended up being fine. With DD2, she just weaned herself. One day, she wasn't interested and that was that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823442 Fri, 18 May 2018 11:09:48 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2823442@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think try one more night. My son hasn't been bf but has been very sensitive to where he is sleeping. The first night of hotels or when we moved etc went badly but by the second night there was a great improvement. So it may be better than you think, since he already went one night. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823435 Fri, 18 May 2018 10:43:31 +0000 snowjewelz 2823435@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@babypugs: Ugh I know. On one hand I know if I just wean and figure out the "new" way to sleep then I'll be more free. But on the other hand, it's just easy to nurse her to sleep! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823432 Fri, 18 May 2018 10:39:42 +0000 babypugs 2823432@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@snowjewelz: Ditto. We recently dropped the morning feed (17-ish) months and it was no problem. I would love to drop the night time nursing session but I have no idea how to get her to bed without it! That's why my first nursed so long... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823425 Fri, 18 May 2018 09:50:36 +0000 snowjewelz 2823425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't beat yourself up! Every kid is different and there's no "right" way to go about it. You and him will be fine, I promise! </p> <p>I have a 17 month old still nursing, but usually I can get away with morning with distractions like changing, breakfast, TV (her sister gets morning cartoons she she does too hah), etc. Sometimes she asks for "boobie" but I legit would be busy so I just distract her and often times I leave for work not having nursed her. </p> <p>At night it's MUCH harder since I still nurse her to sleep. I thought I'd wean by 18 months but now I'm not so sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823420 Fri, 18 May 2018 09:40:47 +0000 Foodnerd81 2823420@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I weaned both my kids around 20 months. With both we ended up dropping the morning feed first- it was easier because I could distract them in the morning and give breakfast quickly so they didn’t miss it as much. </p> <p>For the bedtime nursing session, my first daughter was showing signs she wasn’t that interested anyway- I would have to call her over a bunch of times to get her to settle in, but once she did she would happily nurse. I decided I was done after a trip so the last night of the trip, I prepared myself and her that it was the last time, and I let myself truly savor it knowing that was it. The next night she asked for it but was ok when I said it was all done. Pretty tear free- but it turns out I was already pregnant so maybe the milk was different anyway? </p> <p>With my second it was the same in that i decided I was done, but she did cry more. It took a couple nights but I think she was mostly ready. It was harder for me because I know she is my last baby though. </p> <p>So my only 2 cents is it was easier to drop the morning first since it’s easier to distract them then. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823414 Fri, 18 May 2018 09:12:28 +0000 themrsgoff 2823414@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just weaned my 19 month old over the last month, and my experience is that for us, it wasn't linear. I dropped feeds over a couple of weeks - but my milk had almost completely dried up since I'm pregnant so I wasn't making much as it was. It was definitely a comfort measure for him. Post-nap was the last to go as it was his favorite.</p> <p>Honestly, he still asks every couple days and I usually say no. Yesterday he smacked his face pretty hard on the corner of my desk and instinctively I offered to nurse him which in hindsight seemed like maybe the wrong thing to do/confusing thing to do. However, it did the trick.</p> <p>Just follow your gut. I hate that I had to wean him, I was hoping to get to 2, but he was getting so frustrated with not having much milk.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823413 Fri, 18 May 2018 09:10:34 +0000 lilyofthewest 2823413@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would talk with him about it. Tell him you recognize that he was really upset and that you made a mistake springing the change on him without involving him the decision. As him to help you pick how many more nights he wants "na-na" at bedtime and count them down visually. I would also talk up how the change is because he's growing and learning and you're so proud that he's getting so big. It might also help to have something to slot into that spot in the routine -- maybe a special new blanket or stuffed toy? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823387 Fri, 18 May 2018 07:59:29 +0000 MamaCate 2823387@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: I think that sounds like a good plan. Especially if that is a better fit with how you would like to approach it. You can try to drop a few hints about how he is “almost” too big maybe so it is not so cold turkey. </p> <p>I think hopefully you would feel better if you go with an approach you are comfortable with and then LO can choose how to respond. Ending nursing can have a lot of big feelings for everyone so it can be tricky! But you will figure it out! ❤️ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823363 Fri, 18 May 2018 04:44:32 +0000 ElbieKay 2823363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I avoided this by having my husband do bedtime for 2-3 weeks when I wanted to kill the bedtime nursing session. So we did not have drama like you are describing but we also just evaded it to break the association.</p> <p>This was out of necessity because he would no longer nurse to sleep -- unlatching always woke him up -- but he would insist on rooting/nursing at bedtime with me. So it literally became impossible for me to put him to sleep without CIO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823358 Thu, 17 May 2018 23:30:39 +0000 Sams Mom 2823358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were down to just night time feeds at 10 1/2 months, I want producing much, he was mainly using it for comfort, so one night I refused just to see how he took it (fully intending to waffle and let him nurse). He cried for 30 seconds tops and fell asleep. He never tried again. About 3 days later I felt terrible thinking I had cut him off too soon, so I offered him the opportunity. He didn't even bat an eye, ignored me, and went on jabbering about whatever. We never looked back after that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823357 Thu, 17 May 2018 23:24:18 +0000 AnnabelleG 2823357@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You didn't mess anything up, it's just hard! I think @MamaCate is right on, that either road you choose is fine. Either ripping off the band-aid because it's what you want to do or trying it again a little later/differently. The ambivalence of weaning a toddler is so hard. I ended up tandem nursing my kids (newborn and 2-year old) for 6 months because I couldn't commit to weaning! I thought my older son would never be done, but at 2 and 1/2 he was over it on his own. Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823353 Thu, 17 May 2018 22:46:46 +0000 Amorini 2823353@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaCate: Thanks SO much for the support. I feel so bad (and foolish) about springing this on him, but you are right that he seemed to have recovered pretty well, all things said. It was probably just confusing and upsetting...and then he drifted off.</p> <p>If I had to guess, I would imagine that we would have more tears for awhile if we continued down this path. Tear-free or at least with a little more thought-through distractions and alternative comforts is more my preference and style with him. So since my post, I was thinking of just going back to 2x day tomorrow morning if he wants, do that for a week or so, and then develop a strategy for dropping the morning feed first. But you are totally right, he may have other ideas! Thanks again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823343 Thu, 17 May 2018 21:31:23 +0000 MamaCate 2823343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Amorini: Ugh mama this sounds awful! But he is so little (relatively) and recovered reasonably well, that I think the ball is in your court. LO will be fine either way.</p> <p>So if you are comfortable with having tonight be the night you are ripping off the bandaid and you are done, then own that and move on. You can talk with LO tomorrow about how he is too big for “na na” and you love all the big kid things he is learning. Then hold the line at bedtime. I would think he will adjust quickly.</p> <p>OR, if you feel like this is not how you hoped it would end and his upset is not working, then you could offer again. And just see how he reacts...</p> <p>But also the end of weaning is not ultimately up to you: I was ready to gradually wean my boob monster DS at 2 and after his birthday and a couple comments about 2 being too big for milk, the next night he said “ok no milk bye bye milk” and didn’t look back! Not what I was anticipating but tear-free 😛 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weaning-a-toddler-did-i-just-it-screw-up#post-2823322 Thu, 17 May 2018 20:04:37 +0000 Amorini 2823322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>TLDR: I uncharacteristically didn’t plan out or study up on dropping the last couple of nursing sessions and it was a wildly sad bedtime experience! Can/should I start over? </p> <p>DS is 19 months and we have been nursing mornings and before bed. I’m torn about weaning, but on a whim this evening, I bargained myself down to once a day. Hindsight is that the morning feed maybe should be the one to go first... Even though he loves loves “na-na”, we went from EBF to two feeds very smoothly without much planning or studying on my part. Last night (and another night about a month ago) DH had to handle bedtime without me and all went well. So that’s why I got the idea just before bedtime tonight of just continuing with last night’s pattern. </p> <p>Tonight I did our bedtime routine (books, nurse, brush teeth, handoff to DH, I leave room, crib) except the nursing/“na-na”. I told DS a few times no milk tonight, but it’s not like he’s been hearing that for awhile. He was his normal self during teeth-brushing, then started to wimper when I put on his Zippadee Zip.... and then full-on screamed for “na-na” like I have never heard before when I passed him off to DH. Right then my gut was telling me that he isn’t ready and/or I didn’t do this gradually enough and/or dropping the morning would have been better.</p> <p>To make it worse, DH said he needed a sippee of milk (which should be before teeth-brushing, per the routine). I thought he had said NO milk. Ugh. So I had to go get the milk while DS was screaming and sad. At that point he was too upset for milk and DH just held him. Minutes later he was asleep with just a little off and on whimpering.</p> <p>So... quite a bungled effort. I am thinking of just starting over and maybe trying to drop the morning feed first. I’m just sensitive to a toddler who likes/needs structure and (as I have now learned) a gradual introduction to big changes. Help!!! I really feel like I’ve messed this up. </p>