https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 21 Apr 2026 01:57:09 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-488085 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 09:55:19 +0000 eeh 488085@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This sounds absurd. Tell her (the bride) you're grateful t be going to the wedding and it means a lot that she has offered but you just aren't able to be in the wedding but you are happy to help in other ways. Then, email the friend and say thank you for trying to help solve this but you and the bride have taken care of it and everything is settled. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-488058 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 09:49:22 +0000 Cherrybee 488058@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: Hmm...... Weddings bring out the worst in some people, dont they? Well I tend to agree with PPs, that you should make yourself clear to the bride (which you have done) and leave mutual friend out of it - its not her business as much as she tries to make it that way. So stressful! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487916 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 09:01:50 +0000 SugarplumsMom 487916@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I don't know anymore :( Because the whole thing isn't normally her. I think she thinks it's her job to give the bride everything she wants without compromise. She's a wedding planner. I also know that these kinds f things mean a lot more to her than the bride-to-be AND me combined. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487910 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:59:17 +0000 SugarplumsMom 487910@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrsbells: Good point! Because in order to be absolutely clear, I have to be a little blunt and tell her to stop, which is something I may regret later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487899 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:55:33 +0000 Cherrybee 487899@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: Does this mutual friend usually like stirring up trouble?? Or could it just be a great big misunderstanding - pehaps the Bride was worried that you were declining because you didn't want to be too muh trouble/ were worried abut fitting into the dress and this mutual friend was just trying to help?? Or do you think mutual friend was deliberatly trying to cause problems?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487890 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:52:56 +0000 T.H.O.U. 487890@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would just stick to the facts. You can't be in the wedding. It is your choice. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487888 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:52:45 +0000 Mrsbells 487888@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldnt contact the other friend again, because it seems like each time you talk to her about it, it makes her feel as though you are bringing her into conversation and that she isnt meddling and has every right to express her opinions of what you really mean </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487882 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:50:16 +0000 prettylizy 487882@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Crumbs: That is a good plan. Write the e-mail and sit on it for a bit. Maybe even get your SO to take a look and help you edit it if needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487873 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:47:21 +0000 SugarplumsMom 487873@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@prettylizy: I wrote out a long ass email already (I can't call - serious timezone difference) but I wanted to share this here before I react, so I haven't sent it yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487864 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:45:11 +0000 prettylizy 487864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would address this with your mutual friend. She seems to be the one that is causing all this greif. You and the bride come to a consensus that works for you both, then this other person comes and messes it all up!!!! She would be on my call list asap. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-drama-meddling-friend-advice-needed#post-487859 Tue, 08 Jan 2013 08:40:26 +0000 SugarplumsMom 487859@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Last time I was home for the holidays, a childhood friend of mine asked me to be in her wedding and I instantly I agreed. I was just in my 1st trimester at the time and know it would eventually mean we'd all be taking a long international flight to be there - around 24 hrs of travel time including connections. But complications with DH's work came up (they closed down his entire location) and coupled with my uneasiness to plan ahead when my LO wasn't even born yet, made me uneasy. So I declined and I made sure to tell her <u>way</u> in advance - that way she can plan accordingly. I still felt bad about not being able to attend, so we eventually managed to plan a trip last minute even though DH just started a new job. It was a surprise for her that although I can't be in it, I'll be able to attend. This is a month and a half before the wedding and everything is planned, dresses bought. </p> <p>She still wanted me to be in the wedding but her and I talked it out and came to the conclusion that perhaps another part would work best. I know she doesn't want the extra planning stress and I declined a second time because I'm not comfortable leaving LO all day with new ppl, plus she's going though atopic eczema right now and is extremely fussy. </p> <p>It took us 2 talks to come to a conclusion because a mutual friend has been talking her into having me in it. This is the same mutual friend that I employed to help me explain to her (bride-to-be) how it'll be difficult for me to be in the wedding! She even told me that our friend said, "if that was me, I'd just tell her: you're in it." as in period -_-</p> <p>So we had a great talk, everything was out in the open. All good. She even told me to tell our mutual friend that all is good. Then I get a msg about a seamstress and making a different dress. And yes, I know I sound like a biatch right now because I should just be happy and honored that she wants me in her wedding, but now, more than ever before am I NOT wanting a whole day plus of obligation!!! Planning a last min trip while LO is sick is enough stress already! So I had to flat out, politely declined for the 3rd time. She responded to me saying she won't ask again and all is good but it's all because our mutual friend <b>convinced</b> her again! </p> <p>Sooooooo if you made it all the way here, this is my question. Should I just let it go and hope our mutual friend doesn't try to meddle again or should I msg her meddling ass? I don't want to react so quickly and end up complicating this with her BUT at the same time she needs to just stay out of it! </p>