https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sun, 10 May 2026 22:17:46 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1209371 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 17:39:18 +0000 Boogs 1209371@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Yup, our siblings showed up to those things as well. :) My inlaws and BIL have showed up for holidays, and my parents, sibling, grandparent, and a few other family members also have shown up to their holiday events. My inlaws have shown up for birthdays for my parent one time when we actually had a party since it was a milestone. Additionally, my sisters kids actually refer to my FIL as their grandparent lol.</p> <p>All that to say, I realize all families are different and that difference is what makes those types of opinions differ in the debates. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1209343 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 17:16:04 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1209343@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: what you described makes sense...your SO is supported by your parents. What about your siblings? Would your ILs show up for their milestones? To me that is a real manifestation of families blending. Would your SIL or BIL let their children visit for a day with your parents same as they would their own children's grandparents? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1209300 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 17:01:48 +0000 Boogs 1209300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: It's true, that's how our families are also. My family was there to celebrate when my DH graduated college, before we were even married an again my in-laws celebrated my graduation also. My DH also recently got a work promotion and both of our families celebrated with him. </p> <p>@DillonLion: I agree, I think that's why there are differences -- two people vs two families. I'm personally in the two family camp and always was before I had kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208893 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 14:32:41 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1208893@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: that is really special :happy: </p> <p>@Mae: heck I only see my ILs once a year let alone throwing the rest of my family in the mix! Our "immediate" families did not extend just because we got married. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208855 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 14:23:37 +0000 Mae 1208855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Agree. To me wedding are about two people. Not two families. And however those two people want to celebrate is great for them. Some people like a big casual family event. Some people want a grown ups only party. You get one day for your wedding, it should be exactly what YOU want it to be. And I also haven't really seen the "joining of two families" thing. Our parents haven't seen each other since our wedding day. They didn't meet until our wedding shower. They probably won't see each other again until my baby shower, MAYBE, assuming my inlaws even come which I sort of seriously doubt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208838 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 14:19:32 +0000 DillonLion 1208838@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Throw*!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208835 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 14:18:43 +0000 DillonLion 1208835@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: for the most part, yes! My parents will most likely be in attendance at my BILs college graduation next year. My in laws through a big family party in the fall and my family makes the 4 hour trip out to their land.The only difficulties are the fact that we dont all live nearby so the distance makes things challenging. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208792 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 14:05:59 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1208792@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: did that really happen in your case? For instance let's say a sibling of yours did something momentous- graduated college or got married or was promoted and their was a celebration or just a birthday party, would your IL's (MIL, FIL siblings in law) be invited to the celebration and come? Would your family- parents and siblings attend your husbands/ ILs family reunion?</p> <p> I only have one friend where the families truly became one family and it's beautiful. Otherwise most people I know are like me and the commonality between the fams is the couple and all interaction between the familurs is grounded in direct support of yhe couple or their children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208767 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 13:57:48 +0000 DillonLion 1208767@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: That is my sentiment as well </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208762 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 13:54:48 +0000 looch 1208762@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My general feeling is that as a bride or a new mother, you want the focus on you, not the guests, so I try to comply and I don't bring my son to these events unless absolutely necessary or I send my regrets.</p> <p>Where I struggle is that these events usually are LONG and they eat into a lot of time that I consider sacred because I am a WOHM. I hate to use the word "waste" but that's how I feel I am spending my time if I am not with my son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208741 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 13:39:23 +0000 DillonLion 1208741@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: weddings, to me, are about the joining of two families, not two people. Probably where some of the differences boil down to over this debate </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208736 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 13:33:51 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1208736@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: ha! I remember hearing this same sentiment from my husband's friends with small children. Weddings are not about family, to me, it's a formality to make a marriage certificate valid. Whether you follow up with a JOP ceremony or invite two witnesses to the beach or have a larger wedding it's still just about two people not everyone else and their children. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208695 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 13:15:19 +0000 Foodnerd81 1208695@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: nah- I already feel like the baby took attention away from her, so I'm ok with it (for now). She's the youngest in the family so I want to be conscientious that her stuff doesn't get overshadowed. And she found a baby sitter already. So I'll suck it up. Bonus- I won't have to wear a nursing bra with my bridesmaid dress. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1208632 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 12:46:06 +0000 Boogs 1208632@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: I'm so sorry. Maybe you can talk to her about that? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1207764 Mon, 11 Nov 2013 02:21:41 +0000 Foodnerd81 1207764@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Boogs: yeah I think its a bit harsh that her nursing niece isn't even invited to the ceremony, much less reception, with a three hour gap in between. But that's another story. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old/page/2#post-1207592 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:20:34 +0000 Mae 1207592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I think my DH's family was a little bit put off about it but he isn't that terribly close to them and they had lots of Opinions about me/our wedding anyways I think-- so I found it really hard to care. lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207587 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:14:12 +0000 deerylou 1207587@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: Oh yeah, I know what you mean. I do hope that you and your husband can enjoy a very nice evening out, and that you're comfortable leaving LO, day of!</p> <p>@Mae: Hah, that's awesome that your guests were so receptive and excited. We were also quite adamant about having no small children at our reception (save for nursing mothers, but my friend was only one, and she actually wanted the evening away), and got the opposite reaction from family. </p> <p>Our ceremony and cocktail hour were both kid friendly, but the reception dinner was in a small, upscale restaurant. We had a very intimate wedding, so their presence would have been obvious and, dare I say, obnoxious. We got a lot of, "But weddings are about family", and "This is *very* inconvenient for us." Uhm....okay? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207583 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:08:54 +0000 Mae 1207583@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I hope you're able to kick back and enjoy the wedding! Could be a fun night out for you and your DH! </p> <p>For my own wedding I was quite adamant about no little kids being there (although I did make an exception for one cousin who was still nursing her LO and also traveled from out of state to come). I was worried because I had a lot of other cousins with a total of 10+ kids under 10, but before news even traveled about it being an adults-only wedding all of them expressed to me how excited they were for an excuse to leave the kids with inlaws and have a weekend out of town! They all came and had an awesome grown up's night out. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207573 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 22:02:10 +0000 DillonLion 1207573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>aw@deerylou: i just go through these phases where sometimes I cant bear the thought of being apart from her and other times where I am dying for a break. I never know I will feel! Hopefully I will be in good spirits for the adult only wedding in a couple of weeks </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207561 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 21:57:11 +0000 MamaMoose 1207561@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@rachiecakes: hahaha yes I imagine your wedding setting was a little more conducive to families than most others!! :wink: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207556 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 21:54:59 +0000 deerylou 1207556@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@DillonLion: I have an infant daughter, too. It's hard being separated from her, but sometimes I grow nervous she distracts, or steals the limelight. I'm glad you were able to be there to support your friend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207548 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 21:50:29 +0000 DillonLion 1207548@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@deerylou: I felt similarly before having children</p> <p>@Boogs: It wasnt really my scene (very fancy and not at all kid friendly, go figure) and I was missing LO a lot. But I am glad I could support my friend and share in her special time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207540 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 21:43:45 +0000 rachiecakes 1207540@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MamaMoose: my shower was not kid-friendly, lots of champagne and was held at a restaurant, open bar. But the wedding was a pretty unusual setting with tons of kids. The shower and after-wedding party were the only time I really got to party it up. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207538 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 21:37:50 +0000 MamaMoose 1207538@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: neither my shower nor my wedding were kid friendly (both events were in very formal settings with open bar, etc) but for both events we made it very clear to nursing mothers that their babies were obviously welcome. I wouldn't feel like you have the ask again to bring her to the shower! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207485 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 20:49:29 +0000 Boogs 1207485@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Your LO isn't invited to your sister's wedding AND you're nursing. I personally think that's harsh. :/ As for the shower, asking you to drive that distance is enough, so glad she doesn't mind your LO being there. I say take her and don't feel bad about it, especially since you got the ok.</p> <p>@DillonLion: How did the shower go? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207463 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 20:33:31 +0000 deerylou 1207463@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely think you did the right thing, and hope you had an enjoyable time. </p> <p>Personally, I do understand the "no kids" thing. Even as someone with an extremely well behaved baby, I get that she's still a distraction. Also, a baby can occasionally lend to stealing the spotlight away from the person who is meant to feel special on that particular day. I mean, who can resist a squishable little one?! As mothers, it's quite easy to forget that you were once without your child, celebrating events and milestones that were solely about you. It's all about perspective, I think.</p> <p>That being said, I do think it's great to bring your child to events, as long as the hostess or guest of honor is comfortable, welcoming, and happily extends the offer themselves. Logistics and alternate care can be challenging and sometimes it's easier on your schedule and your heart to bring 'em along. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207458 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 20:26:58 +0000 Foodnerd81 1207458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know the shower has already come and gone, but I think it was smart I leave her home. Personally, I would have welcomed her if it was my shower, and would have made sure my friends with kids knew if I thought they wanted to bring them (almost none f my friends had kids at the time though). But I wouldn't assume everyone feels that way. I understand te no kids thing to a point- I didn't invite kids to my wedding and don't expect C to be invited. But generally showers are less formal. </p> <p>Now I'm second guessing my plan to bring C to my sisters shower. She said she was fine with it (and I already know she is not invited to the wedding). I'm breastfeeding and she doesn't like bottles much, though, and it's going to be a long day with the shower two hours away. So maybe I'll just double check again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207409 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 19:56:12 +0000 blackbird 1207409@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You did the right thing. Not everybody loves everybody else's kids. Not everybody wants someone's kids at an event because kids are annoying. I hope you still had a nice time! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207340 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 18:55:47 +0000 Smurfette 1207340@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @MamaMoose: if she wasn't on the invitation and the bride didn't respond, then I would have left her at home. </p> <p>Showers I have given I list the child(ten) if they are invited or I email the guest to let them know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/wedding-shower-can-i-bring-my-almost-1-year-old#post-1207338 Sun, 10 Nov 2013 18:53:16 +0000 Mae 1207338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Lemon-Lime: Agree. Kid-friendly events are just different. Kids (especially small ones) can be really distracting to the group. </p>