https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 08 May 2026 21:43:32 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018633 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 09:10:51 +0000 LindsayInNY 1018633@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We were among the first of a lot of our friends to get married. I kept a list of everything we got and, for the most part, try to match it when giving for their wedding. I do adjust based on whether I have to travel or not (flight vs. drive, hotel, etc.) In general though, I find the acceptable value varies considerably from city to city. I've never really gone by the "cost of your plate" amount though. I guess I'm not much help there. I haven't been in a wedding party but my party (sister and SIL) gave gifts and I know my sister has gifted in the other weddings she's been in. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018570 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 09:01:17 +0000 loveisstrange 1018570@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1. $50-100 is totally acceptable. More or less depending on how close you are to the person.<br /> 2. I would still bring a gift.<br /> 3. Yes. I guess my thought is that you can choose not to go to a destination wedding, so that shouldn't effect gift giving. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018563 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 09:00:01 +0000 wahine08 1018563@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @Mrs. Lemon-Lime ... I would decline an invite if I wouldn't gift them the $100. This would help eliminate "extra" weddings.</p> <p>1. What is an acceptable wedding gift value? I also usually give about $100 off their registry.</p> <p>2. If you are in the wedding party, do you still give a gift? I always get a gift, if I'm in the party or not (if I am attending the wedding) I may not give the full $100 if I've been to the bachelorette &amp; bridal shower and given gifts at either/both of those, though.</p> <p>3. If you are traveling to a destination wedding (plane tickets, hotel, etc etc) do you still give a gift? I've never been to a destination wedding, but I would assume the cost of a gift with the expense of the trip/wedding. So, yes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018557 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:58:35 +0000 pui 1018557@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>1) $100 for a couple (you and your SO) is more than fine.<br /> 2) I give a present even if I am in the wedding party.<br /> 3) We still have a gift to DH's sister when she had a destination wedding, but I don't think I would both give a gift and attend the destination wedding of someone less close. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018546 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:55:52 +0000 kml636 1018546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, good to know. I know we can't go to all of them. @autumn865: I think it is definitely regional. I have a friend from NJ and she was complaining about getting a $100 gift :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018274 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:18:55 +0000 hilsy85 1018274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We always give a gift, and give more if we're in the wedding party. The destination/travel expense has no bearing on the amount we give. The amount is determined by how closer we are to the couple. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018261 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:16:41 +0000 Foodnerd81 1018261@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would always give a gift, and generally would give slightly more if I was in the wedding party. But I'd give less for a destination wedding, so in that case I guess stick with the usual. Do you have to go to all the destination ones? Obviously the ones your Dh is in, but can you skip the others? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018260 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:16:37 +0000 autumn865 1018260@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Question 1- I think gift amounts can be a regional thing. We live in NJ and depending on the place, level of friendship, and what the couple gave for our wedding a standard gift is $200-$300.<br /> Question 2 &amp; 3- yes and yes. Always give a gift no matter the status (guest or wedding party). Where we live being in the wedding is just considered an extra cost along with the cost of the gift.<br /> 7 weddings is a lot! Are there any you can respectfully decline? This summer DH and I had 4 and honestly by the 4th one we were pretty sick of weddings! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018253 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:14:24 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 1018253@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If you can afford it and want to gift the couple, do so. If not give them a card or better yet a cookbook or coffee table with a heartfelt message.</p> <p>I would take the couples up on their word that your presence is enough. Honestly, I would not attend someone's wedding I or DH was not close with. For those you would deviate from your standard $100 gift I would decline the invite. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018248 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:13:29 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1018248@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I always give a gift, regardless if location and even if I am in the wedding party. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weddings-and-wedding-gifts#post-1018228 Thu, 15 Aug 2013 08:06:05 +0000 kml636 1018228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Okay, just have to vent/ask for advice for a minute. This fall/spring we are invited to 7 weddings, four of them destination weddings! I guess my questions really boil down to this:</p> <p>1. What is an acceptable wedding gift value? (I usually give around $100 if I know the couple well, more or less depending on how close we are).<br /> 2. If you are in the wedding party, do you still give a gift? I always do, and DH is the best man in two of these weddings... but someone recently told us if you are the best man or MOH you don't have to give a gift???<br /> 3. If you are traveling to a destination wedding (plane tickets, hotel, etc etc) do you still give a gift? Again, I always have, but some people told us just our presence is a gift.</p> <p>Both weddings where DH is the best man are destination weddings, of course. By the time we add up hotels, plane tickets, babysitter, tux rental, bachelor party, wedding gifts, shower gift, bachelorette... It's getting to be at least $1500 per wedding. Yikes! I'm not going to go to the showers or bachelorette parties for this reason alone. Just too much! </p>