https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 21 May 2026 17:24:50 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899772 Wed, 16 Oct 2019 19:42:54 +0000 pachamama 2899772@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Be like, Ma, fucking chill out. I'm cooking for 3 needy people. Have some pretzels and cheese. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899748 Wed, 16 Oct 2019 14:24:16 +0000 Grace 2899748@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Geez that’s awkward. Is dinner usually at a set time? Say 7? Cause then, I guess it’s just a matter of sticking to your guns and repeating “dinner is at 7, like it is every night. Feel free to get a snack if you need”. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899723 Wed, 16 Oct 2019 10:07:26 +0000 nwm 2899723@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>the interwebs ate my lengthier response, but my take was similar to @anagram's--i wonder if the easiest course is to just say your mom can fend for herself for dinner. that way, you're not feeling like you're doing chores for her, and not getting annoyed when she doesn't pull her weight on providing for the full family. as someone who prioritizes speed of food over quality and hates cooking (my DH does most of it for our family), i feel like i probably think somewhat similar to how your mom does, and i would honestly feel it was a relief in this situation to just do things separately, even if that doesn't seem efficient when you're so often cooking for three. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899719 Wed, 16 Oct 2019 09:35:27 +0000 Anagram 2899719@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: This sounds frustrating. I think it would be best to sit down on a weekend when it's not dinner time, and make a plan for going forward. And don't bring up the past incident or try to assign blame, just say the current situation isn't making anyone happy, so let's come up with a new plan going forward. And then listen.</p> <p>Maybe she'll end up choosing to keep all meals and groceries totally separate. So you'll be shopping and preparing foods for your own family, and she'll be shopping and preparing foods for herself. Or maybe she'll volunteer to take 1-2 meals a week to plan and cook, and you'll be responsible for the others. But it's important for both parties to have input on the solution so there's buy in from everyone. It won't work if she's just assigning you tasks, or you're assigning her tasks.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899714 Wed, 16 Oct 2019 08:49:24 +0000 muffinsmuffins 2899714@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I imagine the parent/child dynamic in your situation kinda complicates how your mom acts...as in you’re still the ‘child’ to her even though you are an adult with your own child! I would do as others say and have a sit down talk to make a responsibility chart with you, her and your DH. Meals are planned and tasks on a white board delegated so everyone knows what they’re doing and when. Depending on work hours, maybe it makes most sense for you to do the majority of the cooking? In which case I would perhaps plan some batch meals or double recipes so people just have to heat up when they wish to eat. What about budget for groceries and eating out? Maybe your mom could have a go-to quick meal option for her if she doesn’t want to wait on dinner (sandwich, cheese/crackers, etc) because it’s not fair for her to get mad if she’s hangry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899692 Tue, 15 Oct 2019 20:56:33 +0000 crazydoglady 2899692@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@macintosh: Just she pitch in in other ways whether that be financially, child care, etc? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899691 Tue, 15 Oct 2019 20:21:01 +0000 macintosh 2899691@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Basically it’s a huge double standard. I have to make dinner for DS and DH, so I’m happy to include her but she puts a lot of pressure on me to get it ready by a certain time at night (on an ever changing schedule). She really gets hangry!</p> <p>When it comes time for her to cook or pick up dinner, she had endless complaints about how many of us there are and the special orders (DH is vegetarian). She acts like it’s too much to ask of her - even though it’s only once or twice a week. She’d rather opt out and get her own dinner separately.</p> <p>A couple weeks ago I asked her to pitch in and make dinner plus clean up once a week. She did it once and then didn’t even try the past 2 weeks.</p> <p>I also do 90% of all the dishes (she unloads the dishwasher). I also do almost all the grocery shopping, though she pays for more than half of it. I feel like an employee with no appreciation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899690 Tue, 15 Oct 2019 19:50:20 +0000 gotkimchi 2899690@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That’s annoying! We started planning 4 meals per week - 1 being extra easy. I would start with something like that that way whoever is doing dinner that night doesn’t need to think of anything. Also I save any of my good cooking for the weekend, weekdays aren’t classy lol so just as an example one week we did</p> <p>Baked potato soup (made ahead in crockpot)<br /> Asian beef with rice<br /> Potstickers - easy frozen<br /> Chicken dish</p> <p>Pineapple chicken with rice (crockpot)<br /> Pizza (easy)<br /> Cheesesteak casserole<br /> Fish tacos </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899689 Tue, 15 Oct 2019 19:24:56 +0000 JennyPenny 2899689@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh, that sounds super annoying. I for sure would have had to bite my tongue to keep from saying "fine, if it's too late, go get your own dinner" But I agree with @erinbaderin that probably the best real solution would be coming up with some sort of system. It'd be nice to take the burden off you sometimes. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899688 Tue, 15 Oct 2019 19:20:34 +0000 erinbaderin 2899688@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It sounds like you maybe need a better system? Could all the adults sit down and work out a plan? Maybe your mom cooks something quick two nights, you get takeout two nights, and you cook three nights, and you plan the meals in advance so you at least don’t have to think about it? Or one weekend night you could make a bigger batch of something that you could eat as a second meal later?</p> <p>But it’s definitely not fair that you have to do the cooking and you get a hard time when it isn’t done to her satisfaction. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899687 Tue, 15 Oct 2019 19:08:23 +0000 crazydoglady 2899687@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would have an honest conversation and ask her what she would have liked you to do. Is there a chance there is something else going on that is bothering her? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weeknight-dinner-drama#post-2899686 Tue, 15 Oct 2019 18:55:52 +0000 macintosh 2899686@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We live in a house we bought with my mom.. DS, DH, my mom and me. Every day there’s the ongoing question: what’s for dinner? My mom works more hours than I do (and makes more money). I like to cook so I do that most nights, other nights i get takeout.</p> <p>Weeknights are hardest as you all know. Tonight I got home at the usual time (after 6) but I dropped my phone in the driveway and broke the screen. I bummed out about that briefly before getting changed to start cooking dinner. </p> <p>My mom came home a bit later and got pissed at me for not having dinner started! I work full time too! She said I was rude to try to make a recipe so late that would take time. Rude for making you dinner?! Then she was mad that I got mad back.</p> <p>Jeez...so I’m sure i have to apologize because it was a big blowout but I can’t believe the gall. I mean, offer to help or pick up something but don’t get MAD at me!</p> <p>Sorry for the vent... </p>