https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 05 May 2026 14:32:44 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-218427 Thu, 12 Jul 2012 11:22:11 +0000 heffalump 218427@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm a SAHM and people make me feel bad all the time because my LO ISN"T in daycare, and doesn't get proper socialization, etc. The grass is always greener.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217545 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:53:07 +0000 kakimochi 217545@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>it's hard not to take offense, those kinds of comments would annoy me too. but yup, thick mommy skin, you will encounter soooooo many comments all the time, rude, obnoxious, snooty, oldfashioned, cultural, naive or ignorant opinions--daycare, potty training, sleeping through the night, bottle vs breast, co-sleeping vs crib, how you dress your kid, on and on and on, hahaha but i just nod, say "that's cool", and then do my own thing anyway. you're the mommy, you do what's best for you and your family! every situation is different. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217501 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:34:01 +0000 ladyfingers 217501@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank you everybody! I feel silly for being offended, but you're all right. And I do need to develop my mommy thick skin. I love this board. That's all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217497 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:31:15 +0000 banana 217497@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I put my son in daycare when he was 2 and I wish I had put him in sooner. My mom had been watching my son since he was 5 months old (when I went back to work) and I was very happy that she had been able to watch him for so long. BUT looking back now, I realize that there are many benefits of placing young children in daycare. Although my mom talked to my son a lot and let him play outdoors, he started lagging in terms of social and language development. He's probably about 8 months-1 year behind in his expressive language skills and I really really think that daycare would have been very beneficial for him. </p> <p>Since he's been going to daycare now (it's been about a month), he's learned SOOOO much and is a completely different child. He babbles ALL day long , mimics people, mimics sounds and engages in pretend play. He did none of those things before daycare. He's also MUCH more affectionate towards other kids now. </p> <p>Unfortunately he's delayed in some areas and we can't get that time back but he's making huge improvements ever since we placed him in daycare. SO, forget what your "friends" are saying. They don't know what they're talking about because they have no experience in the matter. </p> <p>Everyone kept telling me how "lucky" I was that my son was home with my mom all day and not in daycare. Looking back, I wish I hadn't listened to those people and actually placed him in daycare much earlier. You have to do what's best for your family because at the end of the day, these other people aren't the ones that have to live your life. </p> <p>Oh, and congrats on your pregnancy!!!!!!!!!!!!! (had to end it with a positive!) :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217478 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:15:55 +0000 Adira 217478@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rescuemom10: That's a great response! Good for your mom!!! I'll have to remember that quote when/if people bug me when we put our kids in daycare! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217477 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:15:04 +0000 Mrs. Train 217477@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>While I think it's awful that your friend offended you with a hurtful comment, now you can use it as a Learning expereience for yourself. It's time to develope your mommy thick skin. No matter what decissions you make there will be people there saying its the worst and the best decision you could ever make. I would just let it roll off your back and if she is still super insensitive when your baby (congrats by the way) comes then maybe she's not the best person to be around. I had to change some of my friend when I became a mom because I didn't want them to be role models in my children's life. </p> <p>Next time if your in that situation you can politely tell her that it's her opinion and maybe that's what works best for her family but not for everyone. I stay at home and I rarely talk about why I choose it but I had a friend ask me once. (we had worked together before kids and she stayed in teaching while I left). She said "so how to you feel about being part of the turn around statistics for teacher?". </p> <p>I said "you mean the fact that 50 percent leave within five years?"</p> <p>She said "yeah, does it make you sad that you wasted so much money on schooling an now aren't working?"</p> <p>I said "I use my schooling every day I'm just not getting paid for it anymore.". </p> <p>It kind of stumped her for awhile then she actually got into why I choose to quit and if I was satisfied and how I survived all day with three (now four) kids at home with me. She didn't really mean to offend but just worded things strongly without realizing she just told me my schooling was worthless because I'm not using it anymore. </p> <p>I wish I could tell you that things like this won't happen anymore but they will, people are opinionated and don't often voice their opinion in the nicest way. Good luck with your friend, have no fear about your child's daycare situation and know that you will make a loving home for your child. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217476 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 12:14:02 +0000 Rescuemom10 217476@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I use to work in daycare, I its really about just finding the right one. Your friend just sounds naive like others have said.</p> <p>My mom ho0wever did have a friend (we recently wer talking about daycare) who gave her a hard time for putting my brother and I in daycare. Asking her how she could do it, how could she have her kids with some other women all day and isnt she almost ashamed that she doesnt get to spend that time with us???<br /> In which she responed....</p> <p>"Its not about the quantity of time I spend with my children...but the QUALITY of time I spend with them!!!" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217457 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 11:53:51 +0000 DillonLion 217457@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Someone will be around to judge whether you put your child in daycare, get a nanny, stay at home, or whatever you decide. There's no way to escape judgmental Negative Nancies. Try to not let it bother you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217454 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 11:52:22 +0000 Adira 217454@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @jessiejo17 completely. Your friend sounds naive and probably doesn't really know what she's talking about. It's fine that she has opinions, but you probably shouldn't worry too much about what she thinks, since she doesn't have any experience to back up her ideas. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217447 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 11:47:16 +0000 LuLu Mom 217447@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think she is just a little naive and because she doesn't know you are pregnant that she could be possibly be stepping on your toes. </p> <p>As with the house, she might be having unexpected expectations when it comes to being a homeowner and what the real cost is, I just had this discussion with my friend. </p> <p>Try to not let it bother you, hormones are going crazy and she didn't mean to personally offend you it sounds like. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217436 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 11:31:51 +0000 Modern Daisy 217436@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Your friend just sounds like she's bashing your choices to justify her own, which is a slippery slope esp since she has no experience with daycares - and who knows what her situation will be when she eventually has kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217428 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 11:24:02 +0000 purrpletulips 217428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I completely sympathize with you. Your friend is not based in reality. DH and I are struggling right now because he keeps pushing for me to be a SAHM once #2 arrives because of how much daycare costs. However he doesn't take into account how much we would be losing if I stopped working (health care and all investments come out of my paycheck which is a little higher than his). I don't worry about what people say regarding daycare anymore (I did at first) because I see how well DD is thriving and know that I probably couldn't provide the educational and social experiences she is getting there in the 2-3 hours we have together each night and the two days we have together each weekend. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217398 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:57:27 +0000 Mrs. Blue 217398@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry that happened! It would bother me, too! I would love to be able to stay home at least part-time when we have little ones, but like you, it's just not feasible for us. I already struggle with the idea because I just want to be the one that is there with our baby, but I remind myself that some stay-at-home moms don't care for their kids as well as some daycares, so there really is no "right" way. As long as you are doing what is right for your family, don't pay any attention to her or anyone else! And a thousand dollars is so not an incredible amount. She sounds like someone who just has to comment about everything to make her feel better about her own choices. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217390 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:52:57 +0000 Foodnerd81 217390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm sorry you had to deal with that-- it sounds doubly frustrating since you couldn't really say what you were feeling without telling them about the pregnancy (congrats!). It sounds to me like she is justifying her own plan to stay at home, honestly. I feel like whichever you decide, you always feel a little guilty about it and feel the need to justify your decision, so her way is to talk about the evils of daycare. I know plenty of people who don't NEED to work, financially, but prefer to for a million different reasons.<br /> I can't even comment on the housing stuff, since we pay so much more just to rent a 1 bedroom. Only paying $1000 a month would be insane (in a god way) to me. :) She doesn't sound like a very nice person. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217382 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:41:51 +0000 Smurfette 217382@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sorry! I know how you feel though. I have a friend that makes comments ALL the time about how she doesn't agree with daycare, the kids get so sick from it, and on on on. I always feel so bad for my other friends there that have kids in day care. She is a nurse so she chooses to work nights on the weekends so she can be home with the kids during the day. Most of us don't have careers that give us that option. She also complains cause she can't do anything with us girls on the weekends cause she has to sleep during the day. Sorry but that was your choice. What really urks me though is last time I saw her she made some comment about how the TV is on all day at her house. So TV is better then day care? I don't think so. </p> <p>Our child will go to day care and I will not let her or anyone else make me feel bad about it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217372 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:30:40 +0000 jedeve 217372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I worked in a daycare, and it made me feel way more comfortable about putting my kid in (a good) one. Sure, there were families who left kids there for 50 hours a week, 8am to 6pm, put their kid to bed at 7, and basically only saw them on the weekend. Did I spend more time with their kids than they did? Yeah, probably. But they weren't attached to me like their mom!! And that was just extreme cases.</p> <p>I know they've proven now that daycare is no worse than staying at home for a kid. There are lots of benefits to daycare (though I think most start at 12-18 months +), but there's no harm! I would feel better about daycare than having my mom/mil or a nanny watch our kid full time. The daycare is trained professionals with plenty of resources and experience. It can be great! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217368 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:25:24 +0000 eeh 217368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm currently a stay at home preggo since the school year ended but will be staying home with our daughter once she's born because that's what works for us and my income wouldn't even cover daycare.</p> <p>That being said..as a child I was in daycare because my parents both worked full time. I always had awesome home daycare providers whom I loved. I'm still friends with several of the people who were at the daycare when I was even though it's 20+ years later. I still see my old babysitters and think of them like family. However, never, ever in a million years did I think of those daycare providers as the people who raised me. Ever. Don't worry about your child being confused about who is mom and screw that girl for being an insensitive moron with her comments. I've come to the conclusion that when people make comments like that about other people's choices it's because they are insecure about their own decisions and feel the need to justify themselves by making others feel bad.</p> <p>Do what's right for your family. End of discussion. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217359 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:22:52 +0000 Lozza 217359@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I honestly think that objections to daycare make LESS sense for the littlest kids. I just don't get it. A one-year-old won't remember who took care of him/her at that age, and what they really need is just love and attention, which I think you can totally find at good daycares. Once they get older, I think you have to think more about what kind of learning philosophies your center has, how they discipline kids, etc.... but for the little babies? They just need to be held and talked to and interacted with. And they sleep half the time.<br /> My mom was a SAHM, and I remember loving having her around after school when I was in middle school- I'd come home and we'd talk about school, and what I'd learned, and what I thought about it... I really feel like that was valuable. But as an infant/toddler? I don't remember that period at all.<br /> Plus, my daycare does stuff with my kid all day, whereas if I were staying home with him, I'd have to get other stuff done. I think he LIKES hanging out with other kids and getting playground time and water play time and arts and crafts time every day. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217349 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:18:54 +0000 T.H.O.U. 217349@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sounds like shes just a weird person. </p> <p>I never wanted my LO to be in daycare and many days its rough but on my maternity leave I really did learn that there will be bad days even if I'm with her. She had days where she would just cry or be in a bad mood. There are times where she falls and bumps her head whether its at daycare or at home. </p> <p>A big plus is the socialization. My kid loves other people, learned how to wave bye and blow kisses, and all sorts of fun things! </p> <p>Price wise, daycare is expensive though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217346 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:16:33 +0000 MsMamaBear 217346@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Don't worry about it. Just ignore her. I've heard the "daycare will be raising your child" comment. So I guess people raise kids til age 5 and they're done raising them? Does school raise them?? She doesn't have kids yet so she has no idea about anything. Even if she did have them what she does for her family is good for them, NOT you. </p> <p>Everyone needs to mind their own buisness and tend to their own family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217342 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:13:43 +0000 MrsBrewer 217342@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>$1000 isnt that much!!! I pay $920 for Mortgage, insurance, and taxes. It really isn't much.....so don't let that bother you. Also ignore her comments about day care, I'm sure she wouldn't have said that if she knew you were going to use daycare yourself either. She was just being ignorant </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217338 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:12:14 +0000 MrsTiz 217338@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Eesh! Sorry, congrats on being pregnant by the way!<br /> We're lucky in the sense that my MIL will watch LO part time, and I can work part-time some weeks, but if we were alone there is NO way we could manage with me staying home, we'd have to look into daycare so I feel your anger. I get especially jealous on here b/c there are so many SAHM's! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217336 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:09:59 +0000 mrbee 217336@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I try not to pay too much attention to people's opinions about things that they have no experience with.</p> <p>If you've never put a one or two year old into daycare, how would you know if it's good or bad for your kids? It's just her opinion... since it's not backed up by experience, it's a little easier to just ignore I think! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/weird-daycare-comment#post-217332 Wed, 11 Jul 2012 10:06:48 +0000 ladyfingers 217332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I know I'm just being overly sensitive, but this has been bugging me since Sunday. I was out to coffee with a couple of friends, and one of them asked me if my husband and I were going to start "trying" yet. Which is a weird question anyway that I hate, and I hate it even more that I'm pregnant and can't announce anything yet. But anyway, she started talking about how she really wants to try to stay at home because she can't stand the idea of daycare. So our other friend was saying how her daughter goes to daycare in the summer and she loves it, and she's 9. So the first friend is like, "Yeah, but she's 9! That's totally different than when they're so young." So I of course got offended because we have to put our baby in daycare, there's just no way around it financially given my salary compared with my husband's. So I felt like I had to get all defensive and I just felt weird about the whole thing.</p> <p>I know she didn't mean anything by it, but I already feel like people are going to judge me for putting my tiny little baby in daycare and I hate little comments like this. I was also reading a story about daycare costs and all the comments were terrible... "It's 'don't care," not daycare," "Why have kids if you don't even want to be around them," etc. Why are people so awful and judgmental? It's not like we live extravagantly -- at all. Like I'm working just so I can buy clothes and lattes. </p> <p>It also bugged me because they are looking for a house and she asked how much we pay each month and I told her because I don't really care and she was like, "Wow. Well I DEFINITELY don't want to pay THAT each month! That's depressing!" Seriously? We pay $1,000 a month for everything. I don't think that's that much for our situation. Why are you making me feel bad, like we're throwing away money? </p> <p>Sorry, pregnancy hormone rant is over now. </p>