https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Sat, 11 Apr 2026 06:35:14 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-575299 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:26:28 +0000 Arden 575299@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm already majorly possessive, and LO isn't here yet! IL's are super annoying with their parenting opinions and all I can think is "MY baby, MY choice!"</p> <p>FIL has said that when I get up in the middle of the night for a snack during pregnancy, I'm "training" the baby to want to eat "between meals". Um, it's a baby. It'll eat every three hours. There is no such thing as "between meals". What do you think I'm going to do, nurse it three times a day?</p> <p>He's also said that all three of their kids slept through the night from the very beginning, even at the hospital, and if ours doesn't it's because we're not "training" it right. First of all, I call bullsh*t on their newborns STTN, and second - you can't TRAIN a newborn!</p> <p>Ugh. They are NEVER babysitting because I know they won't follow our rules. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-575197 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:06:15 +0000 avivoca 575197@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: Absolutely, safety first! I want to know the safety rating of any seat that my child will ride in, and not any old seat will do. This also opened up the whole convertible/infant seat argument (I'm buying an infant seat, she thinks we should save money and just get a convertible), but LO is coming in the fall and I'll need a way to keep him/her warm. Mom doesn't understand. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-575165 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 11:01:33 +0000 LuLu Mom 575165@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@grizz: ahhh yes that would make a huge difference to me too! Safety first!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-575083 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 10:51:15 +0000 Boheme 575083@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@evansjamie: @eeh: @Cherrybee: @jessiejo17: One of my carseat issues with my in laws is that my MIL thinks she can pick up any old carseat from a yard sale or a free hand me down and that it'll be just fine. So I guess its not so much of a possessiveness thing as a common sense safety issue. I cannot get her to understand that its important to me that I know where the carseat comes from. She told my DH I was just being snobby about it. She had no idea they have expiration dates and thinks I'm making things up to make her life hard. Sigh. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-574909 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 10:23:04 +0000 avivoca 574909@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's already coming out in my mom, and I'm only 7.5 weeks. Right after I told her, she found a carseat she wanted to buy for when they take care of the baby, and I go so angry! It's our baby, why on earth would it need to ride in her car, especially when she lives 45 minutes away? I'm okay with them having a base, but I want to pick out the seat, and LO will definitely not be going on overnights or any trips where the grandparents need to drive for awhile. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-574703 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 09:29:50 +0000 mamimami 574703@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No not really. </p> <p>Want to hold her? </p> <p>I'll be right back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-574696 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 09:28:14 +0000 sorrycharlie 574696@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ohhhh I can't wait to get my hands on this thread. So muh to write but hate iphone!! Ill be back! Lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-574552 Tue, 19 Feb 2013 08:57:21 +0000 MsLipGloss 574552@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sunny: Yep! :) It's almost as if the mother becomes background scenery and the baby takes center stage . . . which is fine most aspects but for the fact that the mother just completed an exhausting almost 10 month process that culmintated in an even more exhausting birthing process. So you would think that it would be obvious that *she* would need help. I hope I don't forget that if/when my baby decides to have babies! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-573290 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 20:03:40 +0000 sunny 573290@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: Can I +1 your entire post about helping *me* vs. helping with the baby!?!? I know the baby is way more fun, but if they really wanted to truly help us.... cooking was what needed to be done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-573233 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 19:38:17 +0000 cranberryapple 573233@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Wow, I'm probably the least possessive! I LOVE when people take LO off my hands. In fact, I feel bad that I'm not more possessive.....makes me wonder how I look to others if I'm just so carefree about them watching over LO. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572650 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 15:28:14 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 572650@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In our house, we call this Baby Rabies and Grabby Hands.</p> <p>Giving it a silly term makes us giggle and feel less stabby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572644 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 15:25:25 +0000 Revel 572644@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ah, I can totally relate to this post! 25w here and I feel very possessive when I think about LO being here. My hope is that it is mostly pregnancy related, because neither my mom nor my MIL are overbearing nor do they have boundary issues at this point, such that I should have reason to worry right now.</p> <p>@grizz: Like you, I worry about this a lot more with regard to MIL than my mom - maybe it's a comfort level thing for me, because there hasn't been any ridiculousness... yet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572450 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 14:00:03 +0000 apis 572450@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on your viewpoint we are unfortunately (or fortunately!) too far away from our sets of parents for this to be much of an issue: three and eight hours' flights respectively, so the idea that LO would be spending all that much time with them isn't that realistic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572363 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:11:25 +0000 Rainbow Sprinkles 572363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Totally understand your feelings! You're not alone.</p> <p>My LO is nine months old and my mom has never driven her in the car! (Not that I have prevented it from happening, but the opportunity just has not arisen).<br /> My mom thinks my LO is her own daughter sometimes and it definitely irks me. I think those feelings are normal. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572360 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:10:28 +0000 GrapeCrush 572360@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Yes and no. when it came to taking DS to things for the first time(ie the zoo, fair, etc) i wanted to do that. when it came to buying him his first christmas outfit, thanksgiving bib i wanted to do that. and i got upset when someone wanted to try and do that first(ie. my MIL, who HAS bought him holiday things....) when it came to gear, i figured the more they had the less i needed to haul with me when we visited! my dads house, moms house and IL's all have highchairs, pack n play(or crib) and toys, which is nice that we don't have to bring our own. my IL's also went out this weekend looking for a carseat for their car for DS. i'm ok with it, because i don't want to have to take my carseat out of my car when they take him places(my mom watches DS every Wednesday and MIL watches him every other thursday while i'm at work) because that's a pain! i figure if they want to spend the money on the stuff go for it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572345 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 13:03:16 +0000 Boheme 572345@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: @MsLipGloss: Mine is totally going to emerge full force once baby gets here. At our church people like to pass babies around without really any regard to mom or where she is. I noticed that happening yesterday, and somebody whined when the mom took her baby back that she was being selfish and I freaked out on her behalf. I will not be ok with it at all! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572322 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 12:51:10 +0000 MsLipGloss 572322@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@BabyBoecksMom: Oh yeah, I totally have the *RaWrRrR* mentality/expression going on! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572317 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 12:49:13 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 572317@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: I'm sorry, but I laughed so hard while reading your thread because I was the same way. My inner "momma bear" came out as soon as DD got here. I gave people the evil eye whenever they held her. MY BABY!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572234 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 12:02:50 +0000 hellocupcake 572234@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i welcome the fact that people love holding her...buuuut im like a gaurd dog, if baby isnt in sight i immediately get up and stand next to her. i get made fun of a lot by the inlaws but oh well. MIL cant wait to babysit and keep her overnight...haha...im a sahm so she can wait a very long time before im ready to leave LO with anyone (: Plus, i would rather leave her with my parents who dont think it’s okay to let her cry it out...i hate when inlaws suggest i let her cry it out :/ </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572202 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:40:57 +0000 Foodnerd81 572202@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was surprised by this too! Before I got pregnant, I always got a little sad thinking our parents wouldn't be that excited, we live far away and no one ever visits us, who would even come see me in the hospital after I have the baby... All these, poor me, no one loves me kind of thoughts. Then when we told our moms I am pregnant, both immediately said they would come out for the birth and stay with us for a week or a few weeks, to the point that MIL said DH might not want to take his paternity leave until a few weeks after the baby is born, since I'll have help from MIL and my mom at first. All of a sudden it was like, NO, who invited you? I want the baby to bond with ME and DH, not you guys, who said you could come right away?? I couldn't believe the quick turnaround! I think we will work it out-- neither of them are at all over bearing, but I totally understand how you feel.<br /> No risk of ongoing pushiness, really-- we are a 5 hour drive from my parents and across the country from MIL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572175 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:30:20 +0000 Boheme 572175@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: Ohhh, definitely! I actually loved my in-laws til I got pregnant but now all their possessive "my baby" comments make me INSANE! I so regret buying a house 7 minutes away from them. I mentioned cloth diapers and my MIL said "Those are going to give my baby rashes!". DH mentioned me going to the chiro and how the chiro wants to see me and baby both after he's born and FIL said "I don't want ANY chiropractor touching my baby!" All the while I'm thinking... Hello? I'm the mother. I'm gestating this kid. I'm giving birth. MINE. </p> <p>The only moment I've let it show was when I showed them an ultrasound pic and she said she couldn't wait to kiss all over him and just hold him all day long. I told her she'd be waiting a little longer because he would probably rather his parents hold him all day long. Whoops. Blamed it on hormones :)</p> <p>ETA: Strangely I have no issues with my own parents on this. Probably because they don't force their ridiculous opinions on me and respect me and DH to raise our own child. I'm also sad they live far away and won't see him much so I don't have any possessive feelings with them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572107 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:12:06 +0000 eeh 572107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Both of our moms bought a base and both use it frequently. My mom's get used a lot when we're together since it's sometimes easier to take her car. Both grandmas spend time with our daughter frequently (usually a couple hours once a week) and they will come pick her up or drop her off which is a big help for me. Also, when she is with them I don't care if they take her places and I actually encourage it because I want her to have those memories. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572106 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:11:22 +0000 MsLipGloss 572106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I will also add that everyone wants to *help* with the baby . . . what I needed (in the beginning) was for them to help *me* so that I could care for the baby! For example, what I needed was for my family to cook so that I could bathe and feed the baby . . . instead, they would have preferred that I cook while they bathed the baby (I BF, so only I could feed her). So annoying! </p> <p>The other part is that *help* is usually being offered when I don't need any, like BabyGloss and I are all dressed and ready to go somewhere, and just need to leave the house . . . so no, I don't need help getting her in the car (I needed help when I was getting ready!). What is more challenging is getting someone to watch the baby in the early a.m. so that I can get an extra hour of sleep or get a shower, so that I can be ready for the day. *augh* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572091 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:05:59 +0000 .twist. 572091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>What about when it's your friends. I have a good friend (who's just a little bit of a in-your-face-control-freak; but I love her!) who has said that she wants to babysit ALL the time, she wants to be a close second to my MIL and I just can't help but think... um... what about my mom? or my best friend who will be an aunt? BACK OFF. I'm only in the second trimester, too. This is going to be a looooong pregnancy. LOL. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572089 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:05:40 +0000 Lozza 572089@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO has a room at my parents' house and I think it's awesome :)<br /> They have a carseat, a crib, booster seat, extra clothes, diapers, toys, baby bubble bath... the whole shebang. Makes my life easier and I appreciate the fact that they're so excited about LO!<br /> They're also really good about boundaries- they basically put it out there that they're happy to hang out with LO anytime, but we're the ones who set the dates and times. We're the ones who say "hey, can we drop off LO with you for an afternoon while we go work out" or "can you pick up LO from daycare because he's sick, and I'll meet you at the doctor's office since I work far away from daycare."<br /> When I was on maternity leave, I was usually pretty happy to hand off LO to anyone else. He spent 10 hours a day attached to my boob- I just really wanted to hand him off and, you know, pee. By myself. Once I went back to work and LO got more fun (mainly around the 6 month mark), I was a lot less like "hey, anyone want a baby? anybody?" but I was also good at turning people down if they offered to take LO but I was enjoying hanging out with him. Breastfeeding was such a great excuse- "sorry, I need the baby back, time to eat!"<br /> LO is almost 2 now, and while there are certain activities that I want to make sure I get to witness, I'm also pretty happy for LO to get to do special stuff with his grandparents or aunts/uncles- I love that they're so excited about him and that they're building such a great relationship with him!<br /> (But like I said, my family is great about respecting boundaries and letting us take the lead in asking them to hang out with LO). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572071 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 11:00:42 +0000 Cherrybee 572071@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@yoursilverlining: Your attitude is awesome. I really thought I'd feel like you - perhaps I will when LO is here, maybe this is all hormonal....!</p> <p>@PurpleUnicorn: Urgh, yeah - the thought that my LO might cry when it's time to leave daycare/nanny's house and go back with me makes me feel so sad. :-( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572061 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 10:56:05 +0000 Maysprout 572061@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My LO looks like a cross between my husband and my sisters so when one of my sisters holds her they always get congratulated and especially when LO was younger I quickly jumped in and corrected them, my baby!</p> <p>But both sets of grandparents have lots of baby stuff at their house, that doesnt bother me. Though one of the grandparents was a bit more bossy than I liked so we had a couple rough patches the first year bc there was no question in my mind that I was the mom. I listened to the opinions respectfully but when they crossed over into them taking action I quickly drew the line. It causes a bit of tension for 'kids' to be making the rules but oh well grandparents will get used to it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572044 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 10:51:22 +0000 matador84 572044@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>yes and i don't really care. ds is EBF so that helps with the possessiveness and makes me seem a little less crazy. it also helps that he is SUCH a mama's boy and doesn't really do well for anyone other than daycare or me. ;-) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572032 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 10:45:16 +0000 PurpleUnicorn 572032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>i still have a long way to go before I have to leave LO in anyone's care besides myself or DH and we don't have family that live near us......BUT i have been thinking it would be nice to get a babysitter once in a while, and that it would be nice if that babysitter could turn into our full time nanny when i go back to work....then my thoughts turn to L spending every day all day with someone else and getting attached to them and it makes me so sad :( i try to tell myself it will be good and healthy for him to several adult attachments in his life, but i also think "no, i want to be there for everything and be the one he goes to for everything and be the only "mother-figure" that he loves!" i figure though if we find a good nanny that we trust and he is happy with, then i will be happy too.....i hope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-are-you-possessive-of-your-baby#post-572028 Mon, 18 Feb 2013 10:43:50 +0000 yoursilverlining 572028@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No, I’m not very possessive. Honestly; it makes me really, really happy to see how happy both LO and her grandparents get when they see each other. My LO loves grandma kisses and hugs and seeing her smile and squeal in delight makes me happy, not jealous. </p> <p>My parents have a car seat base in their car and it’s been very handy. If my mom wants to pop down to daycare and pick up LO and take her for the day (or part of the day), she can do that without any concern about having to come to one of our works, switch out carseats, yada yada. </p>