https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 16 Apr 2026 18:20:53 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731191 Tue, 02 May 2017 07:06:46 +0000 runnerd 2731191@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Happy to be pregnant but with extreme anxiety (only laid around like a depressed person when I didn't have something to do, and CONSTANT worry/what if thoughts to the point of being physically sick feeling). It only lessened at the 12 week mark, and didn't completely go away until around viability.</p> <p>It's one of the reasons we stopped at 2 kids. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731185 Tue, 02 May 2017 06:26:49 +0000 delight 2731185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@winniebee: :heart: hope you're feeling well mama!</p> <p>I had a 22 week loss followed by a 10 week loss before conceiving my son. I also had a MC before my DD. I found that I was always excited initially when I got my BFP. There is something exhilarating about seeing those two pink lines. When I was pregnant with DD I had only had an early MC and was able to enjoy her pregnancy. With my DS, after the BFP I was terrified for months. I hated the first few months. I had a terrible scan at 7 weeks and thought I was having another loss. I was an absolute wreck waiting for repeat blood draws and follow up scans. After the 12 week scan I felt a bit better but kept thinking something would go wrong. After the anatomy scan I relaxed a little, especially since I was starting to feel the baby move. I felt good during the second half of my pregnancy and did really try to enjoy it, but it's so hard after losses. I really was just trying to get through it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731145 Mon, 01 May 2017 20:35:30 +0000 winniebee 2731145@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>With this current pregnancy I didn't get excited, like at all, until after my anatomy scan. After 5 prior chemical pregnancies and an 18 week loss, being pregnant again was frankly terrifying. I'm not sure how I made it through the first 20 weeks - lots of therapy, lots of testing, and then also lots of trying to ignore being pregnant. But I've also felt hopeful and have tried to not buy into negative story lines. I'm now 31 weeks and still have lots of anxiety and fear that something catastrophic will happen. And it's more than any worry I had in prior pregnancies. But, I'm still here and still doing it. Unfortunately if you want to bring home another biological baby, you have to forge ahead and just do it. It will be hard, especially the first 20 weeks, but I'm sure you will find a lot of support here. Good luck :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731138 Mon, 01 May 2017 20:13:11 +0000 Littlebit7 2731138@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think I really thought it was actually happening until the anatomy scan with LO1. Maybe cautiously optimistic yet protectively detached is how I'd describe my emotional state. Right now I'm "pregnant" but it's super early on and I feel quite the same way as I did with LO1. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731107 Mon, 01 May 2017 18:37:03 +0000 periwinklebee 2731107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: I'm not sure if this works well, as I've never been viably pregnant, but last time that I got pregnant I made a list of all the things about pregnancy that I'm looking forward to and really want to enjoy and savor. Then I made a mental note to myself to not take those moments for granted and to just try to be in the present when they happen and really appreciate them. The rest of the time, I think I just want to be distracted to the greatest extent possible, to avoid too much anxiety and worrying. TTC has already been really tough, and who knows how much longer it could take - I don't know how I could handle 9 months of constant anxiety on top of that.</p> <p>I could actually see it going both ways, maybe after loss it's harder to be excited in general, but there are things that you may take less for granted, that will hopefully bring a huge amount of joy even though they aren't guarantees. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731034 Mon, 01 May 2017 15:10:13 +0000 nana87 2731034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had a really early loss in between lo1 and lo2 and it really shook me. I felt like I was waiting for something to go wrong for my whole pregnancy.i mostly just didn't let myself think about it too much though-- I have an older lo too so I was mostly focusing on her and work-- but there were moments when I would get test results back or u/s and just start sobbing with relief when I didn't even realize/let myself feel how worried I was. Lo2 is 11 weeks old now and I still sort of can't believe she is here and healthy </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731025 Mon, 01 May 2017 14:59:06 +0000 bloved 2731025@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I had 2 losses and several failed fertility treatments between ds1 and ds2, and the suffered a huge sch at 6 and 8 weeks with ds2, convincing me I lost him. I wound up not enjoying the second pregnancy at all, and could not wait to be done. I wound up seeing a therapist throughout to hopefully get past it, but was unable. Now I have so much regret that I didn't let myself enjoy my pregnancy and wish Could do it over again. hopefully you can find your way past the fear and actually embrace and enjoy the time you so much deserve!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731023 Mon, 01 May 2017 14:55:32 +0000 Alba4 2731023@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I felt a mixture of emotions after both of my losses. It's so hard getting through that first trimester. Good luck. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2731017 Mon, 01 May 2017 14:38:48 +0000 mrskansas 2731017@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I really appreciate everyone's honesty. </p> <p>Even thinking about being pregnant makes my stomach turn from both excitement and fear. I'm glad to know this is normal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730944 Mon, 01 May 2017 12:58:52 +0000 bhbee 2730944@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's never the same as that first bfp. For my first sticky pregnancy, I felt excited to get two super dark lines (my betas had always had trouble before on two earlier losses). Then at my 7w ultrasound they dated me way behind but somehow I was optimistic. 9w ultrasound looked on track and I think then I let myself be truly excited although you still feel anxious for the big ultrasounds. After anatomy scan I was just thrilled, I'll always remember that.<br /> Second sticky pregnancy was after two more losses which I took hard. But it seemed a little like fate since it was the cycle we stopped trying to make a big move - I got to have a 6w ultrasound before we left and saw hb and another at 8w with new ob - so I think then I felt it was real and got more excited.<br /> This last pregnancy (which had no hb at almost 11w) was weird though. I think I did have some intuition not to be excited. It felt really different than my other times even though I got two dark lines and saw hb at 8w. I was never excited - I always felt anxious, nervous. So I wonder now if I really did subconsciously know something was off or if I'll feel that way next time too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730939 Mon, 01 May 2017 12:51:10 +0000 Mrs. Cereal 2730939@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Honestly, I was not excited, I was terrified. I have an anxiety issue, so the entirety of my two successful pregnancies were spent in worry and I did not enjoy them until the very end. I hate saying this because I did appreciate being pregnant, but the fear was overwhelming and exhausting. Interestingly, in my last pregnancy that ended in loss, I was sooo excited and hopeful. I think this was because this was such a surprise, and I thought that this meant that it would be a successful pregnancy. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730933 Mon, 01 May 2017 12:46:13 +0000 ssmom 2730933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Unfortunately, no, I just haven't been able to bring myself to be all that excited (I'm currently 16 wks). I feel like I've been stuck in time and haven't allowed myself to emotionally process this beyond 8 weeks (which is when we experienced our first loss), so I've basically been acting like I wasn't pregnant. I started seriously showing at work though and it became impossible to hide so we've only told immediate family and any friends that we've seen.<br /> Even now I am cautiously optimistic but can't bring myself to look up names or make any kind of plans that involve this baby :bummed: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730931 Mon, 01 May 2017 12:41:25 +0000 catlady 2730931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Very mixed. Excited to get the positive and then my anxiety would grow through first trimester. For my 2 successful pregnancies, I relaxed a bit after getting past the anatomy scans but I don't think I let myself get truly excited about meeting my baby until the very end. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730928 Mon, 01 May 2017 12:33:05 +0000 Mrs. Lemon-Lime 2730928@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was ecstatic at the pregnancy test, but on pins &amp; needles until the 8 wk visit and heard the heartbeat. Eventhough we shared the news with our moms before the ultrasound I kept saying some version "if this lasts." I was happy throughout my pregnancy, but there was a cloud during most of it that I couldn't take every extra day of being pregnant for granted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730887 Mon, 01 May 2017 11:37:26 +0000 MrsKoala 2730887@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just kind of felt blah the whole time. Not excited at all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730881 Mon, 01 May 2017 11:21:52 +0000 periwinklebee 2730881@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: Focusing on other things is a big thing that I'm working on now. I think my personality is such that when I decide I want something, I get really into it and want to work really hard to make it happen. But TTC doesn't work like that. Beyond DTD during the fertile window (and following whatever the protocol is if you're doing treatment), there is not much you can do to get pregnant or make it stick. Trying to savor what I do have and focus on more achievable things...I hope this will help both with TTC and ultimately making it through pregnancy... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730876 Mon, 01 May 2017 11:18:17 +0000 littlejoy 2730876@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We waited 2.5 years to start trying, and once it was time, I felt that old fear creeping in. I was excited and ready to try to get pregnant, but previous losses just takes away some of the joy of TTC, the 2 ww, and the 1st trimester. </p> <p>I will say, I was definitely in the camp of needing betas, dating scan, and 1st tri scan before I felt really confident. Some women can go through without those check-ins, but I knew I needed them for peace of mind.</p> <p>Feeling hopeful for youuuu!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730866 Mon, 01 May 2017 11:12:04 +0000 knittylady 2730866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>:heart: </p> <p>That about sums it up.. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730857 Mon, 01 May 2017 11:03:31 +0000 mrskansas 2730857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: That's what I have been contemplating as well. I don't think that being "neutral" about a pregnancy would make a loss any easier than if you were excited about it.<br /> I also need to work on focusing my energy on others things and just having faith that everything will be OK, one way or another. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730855 Mon, 01 May 2017 11:01:10 +0000 periwinklebee 2730855@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrskansas: Maybe you'll still have that excitement, but this time it might come after the NT scan, or after the anatomy scan, instead of after two pink lines. </p> <p>I was actually really nervous about loss with my first pregnancy and let myself feel much more excited with my second. I'm not sure I'll be able to feel excited like that by a positive test again, but I think there will be lots of other things to ultimately get excited about with a healthy pregnancy... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730851 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:58:27 +0000 mrskansas 2730851@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@erinbaderin: I miss the excitement I felt with my first. I would give anything to be that blissfully happy about a pregnancy again! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730848 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:56:57 +0000 periwinklebee 2730848@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It's hard :heart: - thinking of you :goodluck: </p> <p>When I got pregnant again after my first loss, I did let myself be excited, but when that ended in loss too I felt really down. I'm not sure if it would have mattered what my reaction to getting pregnant was, or if it would have been equally hard regardless. I realize now just how little a positive test can mean - obviously there's more hope than if AF shows, but not necessarily a lot more. I think in the future I will just try to approach it with realistic expectations and stay as distracted as possible during first trimester. I have been working on self-care - savoring the great things I have now, exercise, mindfulness, getting outside - and am hoping the things that help me to cope with TTC will also help me to cope with a pregnancy if or when I get pregnant again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730847 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:56:55 +0000 mrskansas 2730847@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@azjax: @LindsayLou: Mixed emotions is right. When I found out I was pregnant after experiencing my first loss, I was happy but also so scared of something happening again.<br /> Now that I'm TTC again, I feel like I don't want to let myself be optimistic for fear of being disappointed and sad.</p> <p>@Mrs. Oreo: Thanks, girl! I appreciate your support :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730845 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:54:23 +0000 erinbaderin 2730845@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was definitely a different feeling being pregnant after my loss. With the first positive it was undiluted excitement - something the chance that something might go wrong didn't even really occur to me. The second time I knew all too well that something could go wrong, so I was afraid to get my hopes up, especially at the beginning. At 5w5d, which was the day in my first pregnancy that I started spotting, I had a total meltdown panic attack. Every day after that things started to feel easier but the fear never totally left me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730844 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:52:48 +0000 Mrs. Oreo 2730844@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm optimistic for you, sister! :heart: :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730842 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:51:48 +0000 LindsayLou 2730842@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I have a lot of mixed emotions when I get pregnant after a loss. I've been pregnant 6 times, we have a 20 month old daughter, and I am 22 weeks pregnant with our second daughter. I try to be cautiously optimistic. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730834 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:45:59 +0000 azjax 2730834@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I've had mixed feelings. It usually starts with a rush of joy and optimism, followed by fear and pessimistic thoughts of things going wrong. Having experienced loss really takes some of the naive joy out of pregnancy, which is cruel. These days, I just try to enjoy myself and love my baby as much as possible, and not let fear steal whatever time and happiness I presently have. It is hard, and the surging hormones that go with TTC and pregnancy don't really help!</p> <p>FXd for you :goodluck: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-excited-to-be-pregnant-after-prior-losses#post-2730812 Mon, 01 May 2017 10:20:55 +0000 mrskansas 2730812@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When you were pregnant after experiencing a loss(es), did you allow yourself to be excited? If not, how did you feel? How did you deal with all the emotions?</p> <p>As there is every month, there is a chance I could be pregnant. I've had three confirmed losses in the past 7 months and keep telling myself that this month isn't it, next month will be "my" month, etc. I don't know if that's intuition talking or just my fear of being pregnant. </p>