Hellobee Boards Topic: Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?

Hellobee Boards Topic: Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself? https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 22:27:26 +0000 skibobrown on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420419 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 21:16:59 +0000 skibobrown 420419@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was definitely told by my parents and grandparents that I was smart. Not in a smug way but more just to tell me that I was capable of using my brain to solve problems. It definitely made me more confident. I ended up getting a Ph.D. from an ivy league University, so I guess it didn't turn out too bad. aprk on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420412 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 21:14:46 +0000 aprk 420412@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes I was told that all the time. I think it's true in lots of ways, although I definitely didn't apply myself in school like I perhaps should have because I was a "natural." mlm2934 on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420401 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 21:12:15 +0000 mlm2934 420401@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was always praised by my family and in school for doing well and being smart. I definitely think it's given me confidence in my abilities and helped me excel at work as adult (even though i'm not confident in general, I'm very confident in my work skills). But I'm not fooled - I know I am not nearly as "smart" as I was told - I am just the type who keeps trying til they figure it out., analytical I guess. And I swear I feel like I never even went to school when people start discussing history, literature, science! Sammyfab on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420228 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:24:13 +0000 Sammyfab 420228@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, but mainly in elementary school. I was in gifted programs and I skipped a grade so there were very high expectations of me. I think I peaked at age 10 or something because I quickly became average in high school. My teachers did tell me I had potential but that I needed to apply myself more :). Mrs. Pen on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420214 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:18:46 +0000 Mrs. Pen 420214@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Nope. In fact I remember my mom, on several occasions, saying I was dumb or stupid. (Disclaimer: I love my mom, we have resolved this about our past and have moved on, but that doesn't mean it doesn't still hurt sometimes.) It made me work my butt off in college trying to prove her wrong and get good grades. Mostly out of spite. I graduated with a 3.23 GPA so I didn't do too horribly. But it has really affected me as an adult too. I don't feel respected by others and definitely feel inferior to those with more education than I. I feel that if she thought that about me, others must have as well. Andrea on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420212 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:17:16 +0000 Andrea 420212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Hmmm, I'm not sure. I was told that I needed to get straight A's so I did. DigAPony on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420205 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:13:58 +0000 DigAPony 420205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ Yes, I was. My parents were very supportive and wanted me to do well in school, and I always loved school and excelled. I only got one B in all of middle school and high school! The downside: when I got to college I really had a hard time, because suddenly things didn't come so easily, and I struggled to accept that I would no longer earn straight As and that that was okay. I put all the pressure to get straight As on myself, though--my parents expected me to work hard but did not demand As. BananaPancakes on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420198 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 19:08:59 +0000 BananaPancakes 420198@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was told I was smart all of the time growing up. Things came very easily to me and I was full of myself. Then, in the 4th grade, I started having a really tough time with fractions. It was the first time I ever had difficulty, and I don't think I ever recovered. I have a terrible fear of failing now and pretty much stopped taking risks for fear I wouldn't look smart. I don't care about looking smart, now, but I think it really changed the way I saw myself. The first time I read Nurtureshock, I was stunned to see how similar I was to the examples of children in the book that were told they were smart their whole life. Maysprout on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420179 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:54:31 +0000 Maysprout 420179@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was told it alot and I think it motivated me. But I think our high school should have been better about helping kids know how good they were. There were kids a lot smarter than me too but since we went to a public school in the middle of no where we were told the 'smart' colleges are for rich private school kids who are super smart. So while they might make kids feel smart to an extent they made them feel dumb in the grand scheme of things and I think that made a lot of the smart kids underachieve. blackbird on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420164 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:38:46 +0000 blackbird 420164@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was always told I was smart and could "do anything'. And then i went to college and struggled in some of my engineering classes. I didn't do as well on the MCAT numerous times. But my parents still insisted, "but you're so smart, you need to try harder". At some point, I just realized that some things were beyond my ability. I had always worked very hard, but when I STILL worked hard and still only did OK on some things? It was time to be realistic. I want my kid to think she's smart, but I don't want her to be delusional about how intelligent she is, either. Freckles on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420160 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:33:42 +0000 Freckles 420160@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was a very smart/advanced baby, like singing full songs and doing 100 piece puzzles by 18 months smart, so my parents had really high expectation of me. I tell people i peaked intellectually at 2 and it went downhill from there. They never told me i was smart, but part of me knew i was smart so i didnt really need to be told! Mrs. Blue on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420151 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 18:20:02 +0000 Mrs. Blue 420151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents said things like, "You are smart enough to do ____, you just need to work at it, apply yourself, etc." So, yes, sort of, they did. I think they comment on our intelligence more as adults than they did when we were kids, maybe. I guess for me I would say it had the effect of raising my expectations of what I was capable of, but also taught me that my success would be most based on my effort. BabyBoecksMom on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420049 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:05:16 +0000 BabyBoecksMom 420049@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: I would never guess that you don't/didn't think you're smart! I didn't think I was smart because I'm not good at coming up with ideas... for anything! (clothes, babies, inventions, food, etc). I can copy almost anything I see though, and I'm a pretty quick learner, so I'm kind of smart.. just need to work on my confidence now. BoogieBea on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420042 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:01:24 +0000 BoogieBea 420042@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was told I was smart but my parents were also very harsh with their words, so I guess it cancels each other out? Rock n Roll on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420040 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:00:54 +0000 Rock n Roll 420040@https://boards.hellobee.com/ My parents didn't tell me that. But, I was in talented and gifted programs at school and stuff, so I knew I was supposedly smart. Plus I got good grades. I don't think it really had much of an effect on how I saw myself. I think my SO was probably told he was smart. He's pretty full of himself. ;) tororojo on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420039 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 17:00:17 +0000 tororojo 420039@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I sure was! But mainly at school because I did well, not because of my parents. Not that they told me I was dumb; they just didn't give me a big head. In fact, no matter how well I did in school, my parents insisted that I do better BECAUSE I was capable. I have always thought of myself as quick-witted more than anything. chopsuey on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420035 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 16:58:36 +0000 chopsuey 420035@https://boards.hellobee.com/ @mrbee: uh you're totally smart -.- chopsuey on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420034 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 16:58:10 +0000 chopsuey 420034@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was told I was smart all the time. And I'm pretty full of myself. Hahah :P mrbee on "Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?" https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-or-your-so-told-you-were-smart-growing-up-did-it-impact-how-you-thought-about-yourself#post-420029 Wed, 28 Nov 2012 16:56:07 +0000 mrbee 420029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ I was not... I have three theories why: 1) I wasn't smart 2) My parents didn't want me to be full of myself 3) Japanese don't really believe in being smart... they only believe in hard work If I had to guess, it would be mostly #1 and #3. Were you or your SO told you were smart growing up? Did it impact how you thought about yourself?