https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 13 Apr 2026 00:52:30 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid/page/2#post-1217850 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 22:41:25 +0000 BoogieBea 1217850@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My sister and I were fearful of our parents as well. They had that look. It was definitely effective on us but it also made us very passive and were afraid of expressing our oppinions or desires. I don't want that to be the case for my kids. They are definitely not as fearful as I was of my parents. It would make life much easier if I can just give them a look though. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid/page/2#post-1217827 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 22:36:34 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1217827@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: "not sure if it was because I wanted to make them happy, or if it was because I feared making them unhappy." &lt;&lt; this.<br /> I fear disappointing them because I admired them , but I didn't *fear* them, if that makes sense. My mom had her look; my dad has his "enough". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid/page/2#post-1217814 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 22:34:25 +0000 Sunderling 1217814@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was mostly raised by my mom, and I was never afraid of her, but I was always afraid of disappointing her and making her cry, because she cried really easily. And then I would cry and she would feel bad for making me cry and it was awkward. It didn't make me behave, it just made me hide my disobedience. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid/page/2#post-1217804 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 22:32:23 +0000 sandy 1217804@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: she wore a lot of hats/scarves until it grew back...we didn't see her much during that time...I think both she and my uncle/aunt were embarrassed about the situation </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217673 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 22:00:41 +0000 wonderstruck 1217673@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Hmmm. Good question, and a bit tough for me to answer. My mom had the look perfected and I knew that if I didn't stop whatever I was doing she was going to spank me once we got home - it never hurt, more of a message-sending kind of thing. After testing her once or twice I learned quickly and would immediately stop whatever I was doing. But I was a pretty obedient kid anyways, so it happened rarely and was never used by the time I was in middle school. I was one of those kids where if I messed up I felt SO guilty that I would tell on myself, at which point we would talk about it. We're very close.</p> <p>My dad, on the other hand...he was unpredictable, and that was terrifying. One day he'd be fine with you doing something, and the next day he'd be in a bad mood and you would get the look for it - if you were lucky. If you weren't lucky, he would snap and hit - and he was the opposite of my mom, it wasn't because he wanted to send a message, it was because he had totally lost his temper and was taking it out on you. This was exceedingly rare - maybe once every 2 years. But that was often enough that getting the look from him would cause my whole body to just clench up in fear, and I would immediately stop whatever it was and get away from him ASAP. Even today I tear up thinking about it. Amazingly, we are now super close and have an awesome relationship. But that didn't happen on it's own, it took years of therapy that happened after my mom put her foot down and gave him the options of family therapy/anger management or divorce. My DH can't even imagine it because my dad is such a warm, loving, goofy guy - which has always been true, but it was hard to be close to him when you never knew when he would turn on you.</p> <p>So based off that, I hope I have a kid like me with a guilt complex because it makes life easy, haha! And I will never ever punish or react while angry - time outs for everyone until I'm thinking more clearly. There's different kinds of fear - as PPs have said, the fear of disappointing vs the fear of being hurt. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217523 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:29:10 +0000 Mrs. Yoyo 1217523@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Rubies: what is up with that? My ILs would probably rather die than hug DH, but they are very affectionate with our son. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217506 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:23:56 +0000 pastemoo 1217506@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: YES, pretty much the same. There was "the look" </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217449 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:04:56 +0000 mrbee 1217449@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: Wow, so interesting!!</p> <p>But wait, what happened with her hair? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217443 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 21:01:25 +0000 sandy 1217443@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I was super young when this happened...8-9. I never see my cousin...she left home as soon as she turned 18...married some rich guy...divorced him bc he was unfaithful...now she lives off of her spousal maintenance and child support (she has 3 boys that never want to be with her and always go to their dad)...obviously the harsh discipline did not work effectively on her...so sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217438 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:57:51 +0000 Anagram 1217438@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was definitely a little afraid of both of my parents. But we were/are close as adults and then and now I respected them and thought they were good parents. My parents were definitely strict but I appreciated it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217425 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:54:57 +0000 luckypenny 1217425@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Nope. They were more like grandparents then parents. I was never disciplined. I was a terrible and spoiled child :( Its embarrassing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217418 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:53:56 +0000 mrbee 1217418@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sandy: Holy cow!!!!!!! Then what happened?? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217384 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:45:42 +0000 sandy 1217384@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I wasn't afraid of my parents on a day to day basis but I definitely stayed in line bc I knew if I did something they really disapproved of that they would have no problem implementing harsh discipline. For example, my cousin ran off with her boyfriend and lied to her parents and my uncle SHAVED ALL OF HER HAIR OFF!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217358 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 20:28:50 +0000 Andrea 1217358@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: It just made my life absolutely miserable. I couldn't wait to get away from home. Once I got to college, I didn't care about disappointing them anymore. I felt freed by the huge physical distance we had between us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217232 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 19:46:19 +0000 Adira 1217232@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Most of the time - no, I didn't fear my parents at all. But when an opportunity arose to do something "bad" that I knew they would disapprove of, I was always too scared to do it!!! I was so afraid of my mom finding out and having her be disappointed in me!!! I really wanted to make her proud of me and I hated disappointing her - so it was that fear that drove me to not make a lot of stupid decisions when I was a kid!! And my mom DEFINITELY had THE LOOK down!!! We knew not to mess with her!</p> <p>Looking back, I LOVED that about our relationship and I know that that fear of disappointing them really kept me on the straight and narrow and I'm thankful for that now as an adult! I really hope to have something like that with my kids, but I have NOOOOOO idea how to do it!</p> <p>@mrbee: I'm not sure, but I think your kids might be too young for "the look" to really work yet! My mom said that when we were toddlers, we just ignored her too and didn't find her intimidating, but somehow as we got older, the look started working on us! So just keep it up!!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217212 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 19:38:23 +0000 mrbee 1217212@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Andrea: would love to hear more on the negative side!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217151 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 19:21:52 +0000 Andrea 1217151@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just didn't want to disappoint them. It does put a lot of pressure on you ... not all of it positive. </p> <p>DD already has a bit of this. After she does accomplishes something, she always says "Daddy will be so proud of me! Don't forget to tell Daddy!" I think she usually says Daddy because I am always around .... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217139 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 19:17:54 +0000 cmomma17 1217139@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: I think the only way is for them to experience it firsthand! They have to disappoint you somehow so they can know the feeling! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217079 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 19:02:05 +0000 mediagirl 1217079@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: now you've got me thinking how I can put that fear into M!! :-) I think it comes with age. I remember feeling it in middle and high school the most. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217069 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 18:59:56 +0000 mediagirl 1217069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was scared of disappointing them. Thanks was the worst look I could get from them, the look that said, "we know you are better than this. We're so disappointed in you." I lived in fear of that look, but still got it of course. </p> <p>To this day, I want them to be proud of me and my choices in life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217062 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 18:57:43 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1217062@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrbee: both my parents had "the look". I was immune by high school.</p> <p>A lot of friends, even in our 20s, would tell me they were still scared of my dad.</p> <p>My parents are huge softies now. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217052 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 18:55:02 +0000 MsLipGloss 1217052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I was afraid of disappointing my dad. I was afraid of my mom. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217031 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 18:51:05 +0000 chopsuey 1217031@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Only my dad! My mom never raised her voice and wasn't the disciplinarian! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1217030 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 18:50:51 +0000 Mae 1217030@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>No. I mean I tried to avoid pissing my mom off because I didn't want her to yell at me. But I wasn't scared of her it was just making my own life easier. I wasn't scared of my dad at all, I can't remember him ever disciplining me. Also I think that I was just not very flappable as a kid. My grandma still tells the story about how all my cousins were scared of my grandpa because he was sort of a grumpy guy and when I was 4 he told me to do something and raised his voice at me and I just crossed my arms and stuck my tongue out at him. I don't think I was made to fear people lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1216964 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 18:33:22 +0000 HabesBabe 1216964@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom had the look, but my dad never did (maybe it's because they're divorced and I only spent the summers with him). I wouldn't mind if C was a little afraid of me (or making me unhappy, or disappointing me... however you want to word it). I'm not into the whole "kumbaya" parenting style. I think parents should be good role models, able to have open conversations with their kids, and also respected authority figures. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1216866 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 17:53:46 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1216866@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>It was fear, but I wouldn't necessarily call it a healthy fear... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1216611 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 16:49:49 +0000 LuLu Mom 1216611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My dad was a pushover (still is in the best way :) ) BUT when we made him mad he could put the fear in me, or if we disresepected our mother it was shut down immediately. </p> <p> I remember when my grandfather passed away I had a hard time coping (I was 17) and I decided to pretend it didn't happen. I went to a party and skipped curfew (pretty standard for me at the time) and my dad waited for me until I got home at about 2:30...never had I been so scared when I walked in and he was waiting fo rme in the kitchen I was up at 6 am that morning, he made me clean the house/make breakfast/sober up in time for the funeral. I still feel guilt for adding extra stress to my parents during that time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1216604 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 16:46:24 +0000 Alivoo01 1216604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Heck yea I was!!! They were super duper strict on me so I was scared of them if I didn't bring home a good grade or misbehaved. Punishment was brutal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1216595 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 16:44:20 +0000 Mrs. Pickle 1216595@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yeah! I had a healthy fear of my dad, but I was super scared of my stepmother. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/were-you-scared-of-your-parents-a-little-bit-as-a-kid#post-1216590 Thu, 14 Nov 2013 16:43:22 +0000 cascademom 1216590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My mom is a retired kindergarten teacher. She had a look and tone that could shut you up instantly. My dad's the softie out of the two of them. They're actually pretty strict with my niece and nephews in part because my brother and SIL aren't a united front on discipline. </p>