https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 07 Apr 2026 16:56:26 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/3#post-2598283 Thu, 04 Aug 2016 09:39:10 +0000 looch 2598283@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: have you made any progress?</p> <p>We've decided that we at least need to put together a list of all accounts, where they are located and what the online log in and passwords are....small steps. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2562274 Sun, 05 Jun 2016 19:51:33 +0000 thestairs 2562274@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Separate here. It was' Me' that insist on keep financial separate, it was my request and I make it very clear.. He pretty much have no choice on this. If he want to married me, he have to let me have my request.<br /> He was very keen on get married, and I agree to married him, but with one condition: we keep separate financial. </p> <p>My job is minimum wage, I get pay $10 an hour.<br /> My husband salary average out to $40 an hour. So he make 4x more income than me, so 'the husband' clearly is the favor/beneficial from me want to keep financial separate. I'm not bully him or anything.</p> <p>Why I insist on keep seperate financial? Because I feel that it more fair, due to he make 4x more than me.<br /> And because I feel terrible for him due to my parents discriminate against him and disrespect him.. Because he married me, he doesn't have a MIL, he doesn't have any in-laws.<br /> My Vietnamese mother discriminate against him due to SOLELY one reason--his ethnicity. (My husband is from West Africa).<br /> My parents disown me after I got married, my mother is ashamed of me and wants nothing to do with me. Added on she call me all kinds of hurtful names, curse and and insult me in every way she possibly can. She hates my husband due to his ethnicity.<br /> I always self-blame that I can't give him a MIL. That he doesn't have MIL like other men out there.<br /> Yes, I know most men don't care about having MIL, they're fine with not having a MIL.. And that my husband rather not have a MIL than have to deal with my mom (a MIL who discriminate and disrespect him).<br /> I know this reasoning, but I still blame myself that my mother discriminate against him.</p> <p>Anyways. My husband always bank with Chase. I always bank with Wells Fargo. NEVER once we had fights or arguments over money, there nothing to be argue about. Eventhough we have separate accounts, we completely financial transparency with each others.</p> <p>He very responsible with money, he work hard to secure for the future. Every month he always puts money in saving account in case of rainy days. He make sure we have a decent amount in saving, make sure we in a comfortable financial position. He save for our baby future and save for us, and save for emergency. He's a huge planner.<br /> Me? Pfffffffff! I'm not a planner. I'm a girl that live paycheck by paycheck; because my job is minimum wage, it not much to save.<br /> It him that worries and secure everything from emotionally to financially, so I can live a stable steady and comfy life.. Thank you to him, I live a comfy life.</p> <p>Because we both Debt-free, zero debt. No school debt, No credit-cards debt.. Due to being Debt-free, and due to we both are not big spender, life is comfy for us.<br /> Everything, including bills are all pay on time early every months. Never once we have a late payment, let alone a missed payment.<br /> He doing fine with his salary alone for a guy by himself, make average of $40 an hour.<br /> He said he make 4x more than me, he wants to be the one that pays for everything. But I say No.. So he said how about I pay for grocery. And the rest everything he pays, Rent/mortgage, all Bills is he pays.</p> <p>We keep financial separate. But I'm the one that do checkbook balance, keep track of money, balances the checkbooks. He specificly asked me to. He said I'm his wife, and he trust me.</p> <p>He doesn't like to go online. He doesn't like to do any banking/financial stuff related online. He Never do eStatements, everything is through paper mail home to him.<br /> All bills all financial bills stuff, monthly credit card bills, saving/checking bank statements; are all mail home to him in paper. He wants Paper Statements for everything.<br /> I know all financial, his Saving/Checking account, his 401k/retirement, I know exactly how much he have in his saving. I know how much money he have, know his working hours, his paychecks. I know his taxes.</p> <p>It him he the one that wants me to help balance his checkbook for him. So I do help him, I balance it and let him check it over afterwards. We have complete financial transparency.<br /> It works for us. Never once we argue or fight over money, there nothing to fight or argue about. We both are not big spenders, and we Debt-Free.</p> <p>He knows I insist on keep financial separate due to my parents discriminate against him and disrespect him.<br /> He knows I work a minimum wage job. And he knows I'm very frugal.<br /> He does try to make it up for me. I guess due to I keep insist on keep separate financial, his way of make it up to me is he gives me money every time he gets pay.<br /> He have full time job that pays weekly, and a part time job that pays bi-weekly. So he get pays 6 times a month.<br /> And every time he get pays he give me $200 to $300, and when I refused to take it he leave the cash in the wallet at home for me.<br /> He said it my monthly monthly money, spend it--use it on anything I want, go shopping and buy things for myself. He said he give it to me, it is mine.</p> <p>He already secure everything from emotionally to financially, so I can live a stable steady and comfy life. He really doesn't needs to give me monthly money.. But he insist on give me, he said he 'wants' to. So that leave me with the only option of keep continue saving it.<br /> I haven't use a penny of of it, I told him I open a saving account, and put it all in a saving account. The money he gives me it all still in the saving account.. I want to save it for our future baby expense, or save it for baby college. I just don't want to use it for myself.<br /> I know he work hard for his money, it didn't fall down from the sky. I don't want to spend it.<br /> I'm a very frugal person. I cut coupons, I use coupons. I save every dollars as I can.</p> <p>Ugh.. I don't need him give me monthly money. Every.time. he gets pay he always give me $200 to $300; he give me that amount but six times a month--so times six.<br /> $200 to $300 times six = that how much he give me a month. He give me too much.<br /> (it probably not be alot to others; But I'm just a girl who work minimum wage jobs all my life, to me it alot of money).<br /> I don't need that much money each month from him. I know he cares for me and wants to see me well taken care of, but I really don't need it.<br /> I can debate with him till my face turn blue and steam coming out of my head. And he still give me money, he says he "wants" to give me money.<br /> ( I know he doing it because he make 4x more, and it "Me" that keep on request separate financial.<br /> And I know he wants to make it up for me because married him, it resulted in my parents disown me. He knows I grief about have my parents disown me. He said when I feel grief, he feels grief too.)</p> <p>Anyways, that how our financial system is in our family. I guess it works for us, because Never once we argue or fight about money.<br /> Heck, in fact we don't even fight or argue in our marriage. He a loving and devoted husband, he treats me really really well.. It been a peaceful marriage, too peaceful. Everything just so peaceful, sometimes I wonder if we normal or not, lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2562146 Sun, 05 Jun 2016 11:26:17 +0000 FaithFertility 2562146@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have joint accounts saving/checking!<br /> I pay most bills and keep an eye on our savings!<br /> We have pretty reliable spending habits and really only aks if it's a big purchase!<br /> With that said DH does have a savings CD that we acquires from.an accident when he was younger he spent most to buy our house but has a few grand in there still, I've never r asked to be put on it or ask about it, it is his and for all the trouble he went through, although I know if we needed it he would not hesitate! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2562104 Sun, 05 Jun 2016 08:43:48 +0000 ElbieKay 2562104@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>About a year before we got married, my husband moved into my apartment. I was making more than he was. Rather than figure out an equitable rent-sharing formula, we decided that I would keep paying the same rent. The money he had previously been spending on rent and utilities was deposited into a new "shared savings" account. It started out as a sort of rainy day fund. We also got a new shared credit card and used it for household expenses. We split that 50-50.</p> <p>After we got engaged, we increased the contribution to the shared savings. We based the savings rate on our respective paychecks and spending patterns. The shared saving account turned into a wedding fund.</p> <p>After we got married, it became a car fund and then a condo downpayment fund.</p> <p>At this point we have added each other to some of our independent checking accounts in case the logistics would be convenient, but we haven't really changed our behavior otherwise.</p> <p>I am not going to pretend that we never comment on each other's big purchases, but this system has generally preserved our spending autonomy while still being accountable towards our mutual goals.</p> <p>Look into "transfer on death" (TOD) for investment accounts. That is supposed to sidestep the estate settlement process even if you don't have access to the account while the account holder is still alive. That is how I set up my IRA. It's still in my name only but will automatically transfer to my husband if I die before him.</p> <p>ETA: We do a monthly reconciliation and pay each other back for shared expenses. It's sort of an annoying and complicated process but works for us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561858 Sat, 04 Jun 2016 13:17:24 +0000 Modern Daisy 2561858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a joint checking, joint savings and two joint cc accounts (visa and Amex). I think it works great! Everything is linked so it's easy for us to pay off the cc bills in full every month and transfer from checking to savings. Since it's all joint I don't mind that DH handles everything because if I ever need to check in I can without asking him for any passwords. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561722 Sat, 04 Jun 2016 05:07:12 +0000 Ms maths 2561722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We share all money/accounts. Just wanted to add that I LIKE having both of us know what the other is doing. We generally don't give eachother a hard time at all about what the other spends, but knowing that DH will see what I am spending reminds me to think about whether or not I think it's worth it. (We both tend frugal, though, so not spending feels almost as good to us as spending :) ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561718 Sat, 04 Jun 2016 02:35:28 +0000 lamariniere 2561718@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Everything is joint. My DH is the breadwinner and my income is variable from month to month because of the nature of my job. My DH handles all of the finances because he's much better at it than I am and most of our investments are in accounts he already had before we met, and in another country, so I'm not really sure how they work. As for spending, we always run larger purchases by one another to make sure they are ok. I do most of the researching/purchasing for household things like kid related stuff, furniture, food, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561705 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 23:54:01 +0000 AprilFool 2561705@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: We have a very large salary gap. I work part time, Dh is on a very good wage. All our bills, including fun money are paid from DHs wage. My wage has been paying down debt and saving for expenses for #2 but we are going to lose that very soon. We have a joint account and then a separate account each for our own purchases and personal savings. We consider it all ours, no matter who contributed what. We also have very different spending habits. I shop a lot, DH doesn't. I am also a saver, DH is not. Weird right? YNAB lets me shop but keep everything in check. I deal with everything money related because DH is just not interested and I like doing it. Things like haircuts are paid out of our fun money and currently I get a little more fun money because girl things cost more and and DH doesn't spend all his fun money anyway. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561704 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 23:53:19 +0000 kakimochi 2561704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We got married and have separate accounts, and separate credit cards; I mainly do the majority of our finances, and most of the bill payments, I figured out a budget for us, and he just transfers a set amount of money into my account on a monthly basis. if we have a larger family expense that comes up, say vacation expenses, I'll have him transfer a portion of the expense to help cover. while I have a mint account to help keep an eye on things, it doesn't have his bank accounts or credit cards on it. i use several excel spreadsheets that i created (simple spreadsheets) and tweak regularly--bank register, budget, tax estimator, investment/asset/liabilities inventory. i only check the bank register regularly and reconcile with my bank account, but the other spreadsheets I look 2 or 3 times per year to see if I need to change things (tax withholdings, investment mix, budget changes). he does some existing bill payments and all of our medical insurance is deducted from his paycheck. </p> <p>he's not much of a spender, so i trust him to make good decisions with his money, but i'm trying to get him to do regular credit checks. we talk about large purchases, but we don't really ask for permission, if there's something either of us wanted, it's never questioned, we just trust each other to make good purchase decisions. i have a spreadsheet of all of our accounts and liabilities so he knows what we have if he needs to take the reins.</p> <p>the cons are i don't think we've ever fought about money. we fight about other things lol but money isn't one of them, we think pretty similarly on saving and our goals, although he is much stingier than I am. we regularly buy things we want and it's never an issue, since it's reasonable purchases. the cons are, if something were to happen to me, i do worry about how he would take over. while we are beneficiaries on each other's account, i want to create a living trust, and we need to have better access to each other's accounts if something were to happen to either of us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561653 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 20:23:37 +0000 Littlebit7 2561653@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ok to the financial stuff. DH and I have a big pot o money. We have been together 15 years, married for 8. Just lumped everything together. He makes waaaaaaaaay more than I ever did when I worked full time and it will continue to be that way. I work very very part time now. We really don't have a method. He handles all of the investing (he's a cpa and cfa) and bills/accounts. I basically run the house 98% of the time including almost all spending. Travel, household, clothes (both his, mine, and baby), car, groceries, etc. to that effect, I also am pretty bad about just buying stuff without asking him. However once he sees it he generally is on board (ex: new non shedding non itchy rug for nursery). I think at times he thinks I spend too much, but also realizes I'm a pretty smart shopper who occasionally buys dumb stuff (new running shoes when I don't run). It's pretty fast and loose but it works for us </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561645 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 20:16:12 +0000 Littlebit7 2561645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@NorthStar: the password thing jumped out at me. I started use one 1password and it's a total game changer. I feel so much better about my online security. It syncs between all of my devices. I'm not schilling for the company; DH uses a different app and likes it. It had totally changed my password habits. My skype account (that I never use) got hacked and I had forgotten to add it to 1password. Never again!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561634 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 19:53:05 +0000 gingerbebe 2561634@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a huge income difference even when I am working (on maternity leave now). DH handles all the bill paying, we have joint combined everything, we do a monthly budgeting meeting where we talk about the month's large expenses and perhaps if a big expenditure is on the horizon the next month or two we talk about whether we need to throttle back to make sure that's covered. If there's a holiday or birthday or event or vacation coming up that month we talk about it and allot money for it.</p> <p>Our large expenses are pretty fixed and we try to regulate our bills in a way to make them predictable. That builds the baseline budget and we have that in Mint which we can track at all times. The big variable is our credit card that we pay off monthly. We generally have all our spending go on the card and try to keep that within a certain window (unless it's one of the bigger expenses we've allotted for). I'd say it's ballpark within $500 of the same amount every month of we don't have a big purchase.</p> <p>We do a cash based budget so we don't really do debt, although we aren't saving much at the moment because we are still paying off our student loans. We keep a cash cushion in our checking for any unexpected expenses and can back stop with our credit card if necessary. </p> <p>I am the spender and shopper, but I'm a deal hunter. DH really doesn't buy anything other than fast food while he's out or something or gas or haircuts. If he needs something he tells me and I shop around and get it for him. If I want something frivolous over $200, let's say, I'd mention it to DH and see what he thought but frankly I don't buy things like that unless there's some holiday I can cop it for so its not really an issue. For the kids, I'll run a bigger purchase by him and he will either say yes or let's wait a bit. I don't think DH has ever been like NO to something.</p> <p>We believe it's our money so I've never felt weird about spending even though DH makes more and he's never made me feel like Im spending his money. Frankly, DH makes as much as he does because we planned his career together, I support his creature needs, and because I ratcheted back my career for the family. So I feel very much a stakeholder in our finances. And we have the same ultimate goals - being debt free, retirement, helping pay for college - so we don't really disagree on a whole lot. We also tithe and give charitably and agree to an amount annually for that too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561598 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 18:08:38 +0000 petitenoisette 2561598@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: You inspired me to at least get the whole password situation in order so I signed up for My LastPass today. @northstar: It took me like 2 minutes to sign up and you can add someone easily, they just have to get an account too. Then you decide how long it takes them to get access to your accounts once they request it (so you can say no if you are all good but they get access if you are incapacitated in some way). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561581 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 17:27:26 +0000 Cole 2561581@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>One thing we did (and need to update) was to write up a document with all of our various accounts, the account numbers and the phone number of each company. It's really nice having everything spelled out and in one place. In our case, both names are on everything except he still has one savings account in just his name that has like $47. I guess it's free as long as he has money in it or something. I worked that if something happened to him I wouldn't even know what bills to pay, I could easily overlook something like the water bill.</p> <p>We have a joint checking and joint savings but since I sah it doesn't make as much of a difference as it does for you. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561575 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 17:21:01 +0000 katsupgirl 2561575@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We still have separate accounts. I pay all the utilities ( automatic) and he pays the mortgage, preschool/ child care and car payments. This setup is mostly because I'm lazy and already had the accounts set. I used to do grocery shopping but he took that over. Big purchases just depends on whose idea it was and who has the funds. </p> <p>Some really good points were made about access though so that's something we have to look into. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561546 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 16:26:04 +0000 mrswin 2561546@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Like many of the other bees we have all joint accounts which I manage with YNAB. My DH has no interest in actively managing our finances and is happy for me to do it.</p> <p>@Anagram: That being said we have a fairly significant income gap and spending profiles. It took quite some time for me to get my DH on board with a very detailed budget. After a couple of months where we spent a lot of tile reviewing everything and I showed him how we could both have things that we want he got on side. </p> <p>I think since you have always had separate finances it will take some work to bring everything together but it should all work itself out :happy: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561529 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 16:04:33 +0000 youboots 2561529@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just combined finances after being married for 8.5 years- since I now SAH full time. We have an direct deposit account that all the bills auto pay from. Then transfer spending money to a checking account every two weeks- this takes care of fluctuating stuff like gas, groceries, Amazon, Costco, eating out, etc. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561458 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 14:22:19 +0000 kes18 2561458@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have a joint checking and savings account. I call it joint but in reality I am the only one on the account. I probably should get him added for an emergency but I wouldn't give him any cards for the accounts since I don't spend out of them myself (aside from mortgage and paying the cc) and wouldn't want him to do so either. His paycheck and money that goes to us goes into it. We do have a shared credit card and for the most part I put all of our expenses on that and pay it off at the end of the month (for points). TBH, my husband spends very little. He is frugal and a little cheap and I do 99.9% of the buying/spending as far as groceries, doctors, medication, clothes for kids, bills, mortgage. So it makes it nice for me to manage everything. He doesn't even see how I budget things but he knows how much approx is in our savings. Good thing he trusts me I guess lol. The only purchases we discuss would be more major items like furniture, cars, etc. </p> <p>My husband does have his own personal account that he keeps some money in for his hobby but paychecks don't go into that. He also has his own business accounts (he is self employed and runs a business).</p> <p>I just use excel as I've gotten it very detailed and extensive over the years and it works out very well for me for the most part. I did not like Mint at all and I don't want to pay for YNAB when my excel file works great for me. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561437 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 13:53:28 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 2561437@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have joint everything, and we use YNAB to track everything. I login to all our accounts a couple times a week and make updates to YNAB to make sure everything is in-sync. It also has an app, so you can track things as you go. </p> <p>We have different categories setup based on our typical expenses. As far as personal spending... we have separate categories for that (i.e. wife personal, husband personal). YNAB makes it nice to save up for things and separate things out without having separate accounts. In our pre-YNAB days... I would have a separate savings for vacation, and other things we were saving up for... but the categories feature in YNAB makes that so unnecessary now. Obviously I'm a big fan of YNAB and highly recommend! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561390 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 13:07:55 +0000 brownepiano 2561390@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So we have a different set up because I am self-employed. We've had joint accounts since we got married (we added my name to his), but I also have a separate checking account for my business. We've been committed to living on one income (or as close as possible) since we got married because we wanted to know we could survive if I stopped working entirely (I am a SAHM mostly but still work 15-25 hours depending on the season). All my business expenses and income go into my account and then I calculate a specific amount for "self-pay" each month and transfer that into our joint account. Since everything in theory gets paid from his income, we decide together what my income will go towards (usually the goal is savings or emergencies). </p> <p>We both can see our finances in goodbudget and are responsible for sticking with the budgeted amount, although I do the majority of the weekly spending (groceries etc). We gave ourselves a set amount of "spending money" that we also track and comes out of the same account. DH pays some of the big bills, but I could just as easily do them if I wanted to. </p> <p>We are both equally good with money, but DH doesn't like to spend money at all and I like to hit our goals and then have some fun money afterward. Lately we've had some big goals (buy a house, survive our first year in the house and having another kid) so we haven't really had anything extra to decide what to do with. </p> <p>PROS: We don't worry about bills getting paid, we know we have money budgeted for everyday life. We also know we have my income for emergencies.<br /> I am still building my credit because I have a credit card in my name and bank accounts in my name. </p> <p>CONS: We are trying to live on one income so finances are usually tight but not unmanageable. If one of us is not careful we could easily throw everything off for the month, but we still have savings as a back- up.<br /> Since I actually like to spend money, sometimes I wish I could spend more of my income on things I'd like to have. But if I do want something badly enough I can usually convince my husband that my income should go toward that. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561370 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 12:44:48 +0000 skipra 2561370@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have joint checking and savings but also our own personal accounts. I have access to all our credit cards, even those under DH's name and I schedule all the payments.<br /> Pros: We don't have to worry about splitting bills or who is responsible for paying credit card X and who is responsible for paying the water bill. It all just comes from one place and is very easy to manage. Plus if one of us wants to splurge on something the other has no interest in, we just use our personal account. </p> <p>Cons: Mostly if something happens to me, I worry about how long it will take DH to figure it all out and make sure all the bills get paid. He can access everything but is just not as familiar with it. Also, now that I SAH and am not earning anything, my personal account just keeps getting smaller and smaller. I feel weird about buying certain things with our joint account or asking DH for an allowance, even though he doesn't mind at all. Also my IRA is not getting regular contributions which will hurt long-term. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561369 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 12:44:30 +0000 autumnleaves 2561369@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have joint checking and savings except for retirement accounts -we have our own that money goes directly into from work. I earn more than DH and we have a set dollar amount that if we want to spend that, we need to let the other one know. I used to spend a lot of money on facials/skin care and that fell into that let DH know before doing so category. We'd adjust the dollar amount as our salaries changed.<br /> Now we are on a more extreme budget so we set a goal not to spend more than x dollars on groceries and we track that closely and adjust other needs as needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561368 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 12:44:04 +0000 caterw 2561368@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have one joint checking and one joint savings. DH works and I SAH (I have an extremely part time job doing office stuff for my dad's law firm but the hours and money are both minimal- I call it the ice cream money hahaha). I manage all finances- I set aside a certain amount that I transfer to savings and then budget out bills for the month. I basically just tell DH what his "allowance" for eating out, after work drinks, etc, will be for each pay period and I give myself a slightly larger "allowance" since I use it to pay for our daughter's outings to Bounce and Play, coffee at play dates, and anything that I do that is "mom stuff" as well as personal purchases. We have had joint checking since we moved in together when we were 20, but we used to share financial responsibility for budget and bills. This did NOT work out, as I am a super budget shopper and DH is more of a spender/ doesn't think about long term financial consequences. He vastly prefers our current system- it's way easier for him to keep track of $50 than his whole paycheck. We discuss it if I have to make a big purchase or take money out of our savings account.</p> <p>Pros: All of the finances are under control and it is really easy to take care of since everything is in one place.</p> <p>Cons: None that I can think of! We tried a more "equitable" system and we both did not enjoy it. Works for us!</p> <p>Edit: I do have all of the passwords saved in a spot where DH can access them. He could technically take care of everything if I were to die. I guess it could be considered a con that I don't have any real income, so I could be in trouble if we were to split up... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561363 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 12:40:49 +0000 chopstixwife 2561363@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have combined bank accounts in separate banks where we have direct deposit. We are loyal to our banks and didn't want to leave one bank for the other. We both have access to each others account but the husband never checks my bank. I"m in charge of all our finances but we have a yearly finance spreadsheet to ensure that all bills due for that month are paid. He usually skims through that. We don't have bad spending habit but if I make large purchases for the family, I usually tell him but if I make a purchase of a couple hundred for me, he doesn't question it. I've gotten to a point of my life where I buy what I want and need because obviously, he'll never get it for me after the million times I've hinted. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561355 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 12:32:40 +0000 Pumpkin Pie 2561355@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have joint accounts, but separate credit cards. We also have a joint savings account, and we have a set amount that gets transferred automatically each month. Whatever is left in the join account is for paying bills and spending. We don’t really have a budget for food shopping. We just try to use our judgment, and not be wasteful. I’ll often do meal planning based on whatever is on sale.<br /> We consult with each other whenever we want to make a purchase of anything that is $500 or more. We also consult with each other if we’re going to give any amount of money to anyone, friends, family, gifts, donations, etc. We rely on each other to make good judgments about everything else. If we feel the other is being excessive, and wasteful with the spending, we’ll mention to the other. I don’t especially like shopping, but I went through a period where I was shopping quite frequently because I didn’t like the way anything looked on me. DH mentioned that I already bought 5 pairs of pants, etc. I got the point.<br /> Our spending habits used to be very different from each other, but over the years, as we communicated our finances and our goals to each other more, , our spending habits have aligned, and we’re pretty much on the same page.<br /> I’m pretty happy with how we manage our finances. We’ve seen a huge improvement in savings, and there are no surprises, we know all accounts and use an online password database to store the info. It is actually one of the first things we worked on when we got married because we were fighting about money, and it had to stop. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561320 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 11:51:22 +0000 Charm54 2561320@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We have everything seperate (except for a joint emergency fund and the girls' RESPs) It works well for us , though I know we are in the minority ! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561305 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 11:39:33 +0000 T.H.O.U. 2561305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: For now, I would just look at what your totally fixed monthly bills are (mortgage, child care, utilities, loan payments, etc). Maybe look at who is paying what now and add that up and each put that amount into that joint account. It may take some work to get the bills on auto-pay and stuff from that account. From there, you guys can adjust to either each contribute different amounts or leave it as a fixed 50/50 split. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561303 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 11:30:21 +0000 Meowkers 2561303@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>All of our finances are joint. We have similar incomes and are both responsible with money (although DH is more hesitant to spend money on himself than I am.) We trust each other to make good financial decisions so we don't need each other's permission to make reasonable purchases. If one of us is thinking of making a very extravagant purchase we'll usually mention it to the other but it's not a request for permission, just notice. (A few months ago I spent $1,600 on something that was a luxury and benefited only me. I told him I was doing it. His response was "sounds good. enjoy") Neither of us would spend money if we couldn't afford it.</p> <p>I love having joint finances because everything is easy and streamlined. It's great for our marriage because it truly feels like we're a team in every way...there is no his or mine, everything is ours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561291 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 11:16:46 +0000 yoursilverlining 2561291@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We just recently went to joint accounts, even tho we've been married for almost 6 years and together for over 10; there was just no push to do it before recently. Our system is I handle ALL the finances, I do all the bill paying, I do all the saving, I do everything. It's best this way because my husband is a spender 100%, and honestly, is not very financially responsible left to his own devices. That won't fly with me, so I control it (which I don't mind and we both are happy with). We both spend what we like without having to ask permission or brief the other; that's not the control I mean, I mean that I handle everything. We make about the same (he makes about $10k more than I do) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-are-the-pros-and-cons-of-your-familys-financial-system/page/2#post-2561277 Fri, 03 Jun 2016 11:00:20 +0000 DillonLion 2561277@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Anagram: Nothing to be embarrassed about! Let them help you get it all set up correctly :) I promise you are way ahead of the game compared to plenty out there! </p>