https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 07 May 2026 09:29:16 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286927 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:59:00 +0000 Cherrybee 286927@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mr Bee: Hmm, I don't read books with her but I'm sure my step-sister does. I'll mention that idea to her - it's a good one! </p> <p>@Oceannis723: No, they're not religious. I am but they're not. I like the talking about grief ideas like sharing a memory, though.... that's a lovely idea. </p> <p>Thanks for the thoughts, all. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286920 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:55:08 +0000 JessiBee 286920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I agree with @mrbee, a book is often a great start. Make sure the door is open for lots of questions, and be careful of how a child might interpret. (For example, "God needed him more than we did" can lead to a very needy child, or one who thinks it was her fault because she was too independent.)</p> <p>Mostly, make sure she knows everyone loves her, and talk about him and what she'll still have of him (memories, similar qualities or skills, etc.) forever. </p> <p>And I'm so, so sorry for your loss. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286911 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:50:44 +0000 oliviaoblivia 286911@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm so sorry for you loss Ali. My heart goes out to you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286907 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:48:56 +0000 regberadaisy 286907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>First I am so sorry about your loss. It's never easy losing such a close family member.<br /> Do you know how your step sisters are approaching the death of grandpa with the kids? Are they sugar coating it and saying he's going on vacation for a long time? Are they saying he's going somewhere and never coming back? Are they flat out saying he died?</p> <p>I think knowing how your stepsisters are approaching it will help you in how to console your step nieces/nephews. You just don't want to confuse matters more for them.</p> <p>When my BIL passed away my other BIL took the frank approach that uncle passed away and is never coming. 4 and 2 at the time my nieces although struggling to understand seem to grasp that he's never coming back and everyone is very sad. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286869 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:15:14 +0000 mrbee 286869@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Do you read books with your 9yo? You could get a book on grandparents dying and the grieving process, and read it together... that might be a good way to help process it? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286867 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:12:51 +0000 Mrs. Train 286867@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Depending on if you are religious or not there are explanations for what happens when you die. I have lost three family members in the last year. My children are a<br /> Little younger. I just told them that sometimes our loved ones die and they go to heaven to live with Jesus. I know that that's obviously simple but I was talking to a three year old.</p> <p>With my older nephews we wer able to actually talk about grief and that it's ok to feel sad when someone is gone. We talked about heaven and how we don't know why god chooses to take people when he does but that we will all be together in the end. We also had them tell us some good memories that they had so they could share in the reminiscing and healing that often happens when someone passes away. </p> <p>I'm so sorry for the difficult time you are going through. My thoughts are with you and your family. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286864 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:08:06 +0000 jennylynn 286864@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My heart is breaking for you and the LO's. I'm sorry I don't have any advice for you really. Just be honest in answering their questions, and just let them know that you will be there to listen and consolet them. :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-can-you-say-to-help-a-grieving-child#post-286858 Fri, 07 Sep 2012 17:01:30 +0000 Cherrybee 286858@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So, after his year-long battle with cancer, the time has come to say goodbye to my dad. </p> <p>Having been told he would probably not make it through the weekend, me, my step mom, two step sisters and their daughters - 9,6 and 4 - gathered around his bedside at the hospice....</p> <p>He's not in any pain (thanks morphine!) - but he looks awful, of course - he's about 5 stone now - and is drifting in and out of consciousness. </p> <p>When the time came for my step-sisters to take their respective little ones home, we all came out of my dad's room and I was faced with the most heartbreaking thing I think I've ever seen. My little 9 year old niece, inconsolable. "Why didn't the hospital fix Grandad properly?" she begged? Urgh...</p> <p>As they were leaving, I told the two younger ones that I'd see them the next day and promised that we'd make up dance routines together and play with the toys they have at the hospice. The 9 year old replied, defensively "And see Grandad....". My heart broke again. </p> <p>Now I know that kids lose grandparents - I did - and we all get over it.... and I believe it was the right decision to let her see him before he dies..... but.....meh. What can you say??? How can you console them?? How can you make it make sense?? My heart is aching for her.... </p>