https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Tue, 12 May 2026 02:39:08 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1057186 Sat, 31 Aug 2013 08:33:17 +0000 MediaNaranja 1057186@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Cherrybee: oh man, your husband sounds like mine when it comes to mealtime. Sooooo annoying! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1057080 Sat, 31 Aug 2013 07:09:49 +0000 NavyRN2012 1057080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I WOH and DH SAH, so he feels like if I'm not working, I should be taking care of the baby. I've left the house ONCE (excluding going to work) without the baby. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1057013 Sat, 31 Aug 2013 05:14:14 +0000 Cherrybee 1057013@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sophia: OMG, we have this argument. I DONT CARE what we have for dinner, Id happily eat toast every night, whereas DH has all these unspoken rules - like we can't have salad on a cold day, he won't eat the same meat twice in a row etc - and he has to "fancy" something. Yet he wants ME to pick and gets the arse if I say I don't care. He asked me what I want over and over, dismissing every suggestion I make. Finally, I snap and then Im the bad guy! </p> <p>Most of our rows are about behaviour - namely mine at the moment. Im just so tired and therefore so snappy. I get irritated with him for little things (yesterday he moaned thst he was tired when he STTN and Im up with a 5 week old) and either snap or make a sarcastic comment then he calls me out and initiates an argument. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1057003 Sat, 31 Aug 2013 04:41:16 +0000 Bao 1057003@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Money, the lack of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1056935 Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:53:12 +0000 MediaNaranja 1056935@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This probably sounds so silly, but food. He is SO picky and stubborn that meal time is a major stressor for me. I could seriously rage about it for days. He's THAT picky. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1056933 Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:48:36 +0000 irene 1056933@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@HLK208: we are the same way too!!!! Grrr... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1056926 Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:29:48 +0000 HLK208 1056926@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mostly parenting. We both are stubborn in what we think is the correct way to do something. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1056925 Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:29:20 +0000 PointeShoesTutus 1056925@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We usually bicker about stupid unimportant things. I occasionally get frustrated with him when he's being a butt and not being empathetic about my various health problems. He thinks I'm overdramatic and exaggerate. Sorry DH but I have Crohn's and fibromyalgia...some days it's rough getting myself up, dressed, and out the door to work. He's never had to deal with chronic illnesses so he doesn't have any frame of reference. And sometimes I do whine a bit more than I should. I'm getting better about whining and he's getting better at empathizing. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1056924 Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:27:43 +0000 StbHisMrs 1056924@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think the stress from money leads to other arguments. When I get stressed out I find things to argue about, it's a very bad habit. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1056920 Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:23:00 +0000 CupQuakeWalk 1056920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@littlek: us too.</p> <p>Work, he works a lot. He is home enough &amp; I do appreciate his hard work...but he is always flaking on me and he can't make it to 95% of events. Oh well...<br /> We've learned to make it work for us, &amp; he's never missed anything important yet (meaning when I REALLY needed him) , that doesn't mean it doesn't cause me to get bitchy now &amp; again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1056907 Fri, 30 Aug 2013 23:02:00 +0000 irene 1056907@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Small things get us to huge fights. Eg. He hates it when I don't put away dry dishes from dish rack and stack wet dishes on top, he gets super mad if I don't organize the fridge according to his likes. I get upset at him when he doesn't put his shoes back into the shoe closet. Small stupid things like that. We very seldomly would fight about money. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053063 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 16:02:42 +0000 ladybee 1053063@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ours is DH's behavior. He can be very rude, especially if he's had a bad day and it really hurts my feelings. That or the lack of intimacy (again usually DH). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053060 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 16:01:50 +0000 lemondrop 1053060@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Other- mostly house maintenance and reducing clutter. We've solved a big part of that recently now that my husband takes our boy out of the house so I can get projects done. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053029 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:50:37 +0000 Vegmama 1053029@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sophia: Ha! That's exactly the answer I was going to give ... Seriously though, over the past few years we've REALLY focused on our communication, intimacy, saving money, setting boundaries with family, etc., so we're really good now. BUT, when it comes time to meal plan, we get frustrated because neither of us are very good planners. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053024 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:49:10 +0000 autumnlove 1053024@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>In laws </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053021 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:47:54 +0000 Boheme 1053021@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: @Sophia: Oh gosh, I forgot about dinner and grocery shopping. I change my answer! The crock pot is the equivalent of marital counseling at our house :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053012 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:45:15 +0000 deerylou 1053012@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Money was never an issue in our relationship until we started contemplating a time reduction/year off in my career after LO arrived. DH is very, "We'll make it work, let's just live simply for a while, and enjoy our family," while I'm totally making detailed spreadsheets down to the last dime of our income. Sometimes, it causes frustration.</p> <p>Other than that, I would have to say that the division of household chores causes the most tension. I love a very tidy home, while DH is far, far more easy going about clutter. A little dust on the coffee table is no skin off his back, while it makes me an nervous wreck. I have trouble emphasizing the need for us to spend Sunday mornings cleaning house, as he would much rather be out and about. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053008 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:44:33 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1053008@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Mostly about the girls. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1053000 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:43:22 +0000 Sophia 1053000@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@MsLipGloss: It's a vicious cycle ;) The worst is when we're lazy and want to go out, but can't decide where to go. I'm fairly certain this will happen tonight! haha</p> <p>ETA: These arguments usually end with me dramatically saying "WE'RE GOING TO STARVE TO DEATH!" and then we realize we're both being turds and just make a decision. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1052997 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:42:10 +0000 MsLipGloss 1052997@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sophia: we do the same thing with dinner! and then we get even more annoyed because it shouldn't be so complicated! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1052993 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:41:31 +0000 Sophia 1052993@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We don't really fight or argue, we're both really easy going (probably almost to a fault)....but we get annoyed with each other quite often when we're trying to figure out what the heck to eat for dinner. So silly. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1052991 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:41:17 +0000 sorrycharlie 1052991@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. High Heels: oh we totally do sometimes - I just spaced on it! although I'd much rather have chore conflict than money troubles..lol. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1052983 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:40:08 +0000 petunia354 1052983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>division of labor.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1052970 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:37:48 +0000 Mrs. High Heels 1052970@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@sorrycharlie: haha, it's nice if you don't have that problem in your home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship/page/2#post-1052936 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:28:02 +0000 Ash 1052936@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JamieLee: my dh is a workaholic too... and his dad makes comments as well - he insists on working 6 days a week AT LEAST. Since getting pregnant, he's almost always home by 6 (but remember, he leaves at 3:30)... and he's even encouraging his dad and brother to be home earlier too. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship#post-1052921 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:23:50 +0000 indi 1052921@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@nana87: Ooh, good one. Yup, that's probably our chart-topper, too.</p> <p>Chores (he does more than me), in-laws/family (we both have ammo there), then money (infrequently, just how to spend/budget). It's more of a bicker than a fight, we usually hash it out before it reaches blow-up levels. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship#post-1052920 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:23:36 +0000 sorrycharlie 1052920@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didn't even think to put chores/housework! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship#post-1052915 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:22:42 +0000 mrsmate 1052915@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ash: this is us too </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship#post-1052894 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:18:03 +0000 Mae 1052894@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I voted other because it's always about house work. We don't ever really fight about money or family or work. Although once we have a baby that may change I guess haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-causes-the-most-tension-in-your-relationship#post-1052883 Thu, 29 Aug 2013 15:14:57 +0000 abbydabbydoodlebug 1052883@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Almost all of our arguments stem from DH wanting to keep too much stuff! And I'm much more minimalist and it drives me batty. He has so much camping equipment, wires and computer stuff, electronic equipment ... And he refuses to get rid of any of it. Well, I say that but it has gotten a little better, but still not as much as I'd like! Hopefully when move into a bigger home, it won't seem like it's taking up so much space. </p>