https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 25 May 2026 17:14:31 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-283706 Thu, 06 Sep 2012 08:39:30 +0000 Adira 283706@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So I figured I'd update this thread now that I've spoken to my boss!</p> <p>He was walking by my cube, so I hopped up and said "Hey, can I meet with you real quick?" We walked to his office and I shut the door and we both sat down. He looked really nervous!!! I think he was worried I was going to quit, haha. So I just said "I just wanted to let you know that I'm currently three months pregnant." And he broke into this HUGE grin and was like "That's FANTASTIC! I'm so excited for you!" I was so surprised at how happy he was for me! Then he just told me how to contact HR to figure out the FMLA stuff and that if I needed help with anything to let him know. It went so well! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-271699 Sun, 26 Aug 2012 20:29:42 +0000 Adira 271699@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@travelingbrit: Thanks for the advice! I still haven't told yet. I haven't even told my parents yet, haha. Waiting until our ultrasound (tomorrow) before we break the news to anyone. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-270287 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 17:54:11 +0000 MaisyMay 270287@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just got a new job at 21 weeks pregnant, but I didn't have to deal with the awkward conversation during the interview because it's a small company my husband works for and everybody already knew. It's been great because my manager told me to just give her a list of when I had appointments and they'll make sure to accomodate everything. Our boss asked me about my leave preferences and said they'll make whatever we choose work. Not bad considering that was all within my first week of work. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-270043 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 15:06:47 +0000 wheres_c 270043@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I don't think you need to tell hr first, but I'm glad I did. It gave me an idea of what standard leave was for our company, clued me into benefits I didn't know about, gave tips for telling my boss, and generally eased my mind a bit.<br /> Friday is a good day to do it, so they have the weekend to process the news.</p> <p>Did you tell yet? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269983 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 14:23:35 +0000 JennyD 269983@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: Yes, he's my father's age, and is not married and has no kids and no clue! He's terrible, but manageable. </p> <p>I always wanted to go back to work fairly quickly (by Canadian standards), and my husband does qualify for parental leave, so he'll be staying home for the next 5 months with baby. When she's 1 year she'll be going to daycare. 12 weeks seems so short! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269953 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 14:12:12 +0000 Adira 269953@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@JennyD: Oh yikes! That sucks about your boss! Is he older? I think it seems to be the trend that older generations are more used to women staying at home or there being family to help out with the kids. Both my parents and my in-laws work full time so there's no way they'll be able to help out when we have kids! My kids will definitely be going to daycare, but I plan to take the entire 12 weeks of maternity leave that I'm entitled! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269951 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 14:11:31 +0000 JennyD 269951@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Also, I totally got my boss all fired up when I finally told him I was pregnant (around 4-1/2 months). He was nattering on and on about how much he loves his team, and what great people he hired, and I closed the door and said "I'm glad to hear you feel that way. Cuz we have to talk". He said "Oh no, what? You're not leaving us are you?" I told him I was pregnant, and he was actually really happy for me. I had been dreading telling him because I figured he would pull me off field work (I was a contractor/consultant and field work was my bread and butter, office work pays just a fraction of what field work pays, and I don't qualify for the typical Canadian paid maternity leave, so I was saving my pennies). </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269941 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 14:07:12 +0000 JennyD 269941@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cokiezombie: I'm going back to a small company where the big boss doesn't believe women can have families AND be committed to their job/career. My plan is to be as professional as possible, commit myself when I'm there (at work) and answer questions about the baby as quickly and positively as possible (ie, the baby is great! She's at home with her daddy, how's your day going? even if baby didn't sleep all night and is driving me insane). I would suggest just doing your best to show that you're totally committed to your job. Obviously your new baby and family will always come first, but when you're at the office, try to be AT the office. </p> <p>@ADIRA: That's TERRIBLE! My boss is somewhat the same. He seems to be under the (mistaken) impression that babies are very much like puppies, and that you can put them in their cribs and leave them there all day. He also seems to think that Grandparents/Aunts/Uncles/Friends are falling over themselves to take care of baby any time you need. Like nobody else has a job/life/anything better to do. He drives me crazy and I do my very best to ignore him. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269930 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:58:19 +0000 Crisark 269930@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are a close group so there are only two other ladies I work directly with and then my boss and manager. So, I told my coworkers the same day I POAS and then at our biweekly meeting the following week we surprised our bosses with a brunch. It was all real great cause there was no secret that we had been trying.<br /> They know I'm coming back and that I plan to only be out as long as needed. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269919 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:50:14 +0000 Adira 269919@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cokiezombie: Ugh, that really sucks that your boss said that!!! I'm surprised the HR person didn't say something, but maybe she thought he was totally joking?</p> <p>My boss made a similar, though different comment in front of me a couple weeks ago. He was talking about a different guy who used to work for him that was taking six weeks off for the birth of his first child, and my boss said something like "WHY would you take six weeks off?? After two, you'll be bored and want to come back to work!" I think he was joking too, but now I'm concerned about telling him I'm taking 12 weeks off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269914 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:48:18 +0000 LuLu Mom 269914@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just said that I wanted to let you know that I am expecting my first baby and have been struggling with severe morning sickness. He said he noticed that I wasn't feeling well and asked if there was anythign he could do. </p> <p>He also asked if I was planning on returning back afterwards and I said yes I was, but I was planning on taking the full 12 weeks (most allowed by my company) and he said he was fine with that. </p> <p>It was very painless for me so hopefully it will be for you too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269905 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:44:57 +0000 cokiezombie 269905@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@ladyfingers: @Foodnerd81: Thanks for your feedback. Believe it or not, at the shower yesterday, the HR Mgr was the one who started it by teasing my boss, "I suspect our next baby or bridal shower will also be for someone from your team"..thats why he (jokingly, but not really) responded with "I can handle weddings, but no more pregnancies!". blah.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269857 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:14:40 +0000 Foodnerd81 269857@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cokiezombie: I have had some of that too. We are also a young team, mostly late 20s early 30s, so prime baby making ages. When one of our colleagues went on mat leave, a higher up asked my boss about me and the other married, 30ish yo and if we were getting pregnant soon too. Luckily my boss reminded him that it was incredibly inappropriate to say that!<br /> Oh, and the other 30ish yo in question is currently on mat leave and I am trying. I guess he was right to be concerned. :) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269836 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:02:24 +0000 mediagirl 269836@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just said, "Can we talk for a minute?" I went into his office, closed the door and sat down. Then I said, "Dan and I are having a baby!!!!!" (My boss knows my husband and we've hung out a few times outside of work). We didn't go over anything specific at that point but I did say I plan on taking leave but I'll be back. We talked about the rest of it about a month out from me giving birth.</p> <p>@adira - I was going to tell my HR department first but....my "HR department" is my boss' wife. Haha. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269833 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 13:01:12 +0000 ladyfingers 269833@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@cokiezombie: That's a really inappropriate thing for your boss to say. Yeesh. </p> <p>They might not be thrilled, but you can't control that. It might affect the promotion, but it might not. Again, don't apologize for being pregnant. This is a wonderful thing that you are very happy about. Let your confidence show and the rest will take care of itself! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269830 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:59:12 +0000 ladyfingers 269830@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I would talk to HR first. The purpose isn't to tell them first. I wouldn't tell them at all. You're just inquiring about the maternity leave policy so that you're informed when you talk to your boss, if it comes up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269729 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 12:03:41 +0000 cokiezombie 269729@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>awesome topic, i will be watching this thread closely because my colleague is taking her 4-month mat leave starting today and i will be picking up most of her responsibilities.</p> <p>yesterday at the work baby shower, my boss actually said (jokingly, but not really), "i hope to hear no more of these in my team" (because we have a younger team, most of the weddings/pregnancies are amongst our staff). and now i am totally dreading on telling him in a few weeks. i know he won't be thrilled about it, but at least my colleague will be back for 2 months before i take off (i plan on taking 6 months).</p> <p>my question to you ladies is... I actually began a conversation with my boss two months ago about my evolving role and the possibility of a promotion by end of this year/early next year. I am worried that my pregnancy news will affect my chances. Any advice? </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269722 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:53:56 +0000 MamaMoose 269722@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm really glad I didn't have to stress about this. My boss is a really good friend of mine so she knew pretty much the day I peed on a stick. She was soooo happy and excited for me. She totally knew it was coming (and knew that I planned to take full leave and come back full time afterwards) so we didn't even discuss how it would affect me as an employee. We just hugged and squealed : ) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269711 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:46:45 +0000 Adira 269711@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Should I meet with my HR department BEFORE telling my boss? I was going to tell my boss first... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269704 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 11:40:51 +0000 wheres_c 269704@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I had been working for the company for 5 months when I told. I was 13 weeks and unsure of post-baby plans. As much as I like to babble when I'm nervous I stuck to the basics.</p> <p>I need to let you know I'm pregnant<br /> My due date is 12-12-12<br /> I'm fully committed to my work until then, but will need some accommodations for doctors appointments.<br /> I intend to take the standard maternity leave but I plan to help you prepare in any way I can.</p> <p>That was it. Nothing about uncertainty about returning, or telecommuting, or part time. I will discuss any of this after the birth.<br /> I made sure to meet with HR first to find out our company leave policies (6 weeks Paid Short Term Disability, 12 weeks FMLA) </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269611 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:35:13 +0000 Adira 269611@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Foodnerd81: Thanks for the advice! I didn't really think of that, but you're right - I don't need to get into the details of my plans for coming back quite this early! This is more for a heads up that I'll be out in the Spring for a few weeks. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269610 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:34:34 +0000 LemonLong 269610@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told my boss super early, I was only around six weeks! We'd been working on a team expansion and it had stalled so I told her that there was a new sense of urgency to get everything pushed through because I was pregnant and would be going out on maternity leave towards the end of the year.</p> <p>Telling her early worked for me because then she was aware and we could be strategic in what we could do this year and what needs to be pushed off. It also pushed up some of my staffing timelines so I could make sure people were settled in their new roles before I went out. I'm lucky that I have such a great boss who is supportive of family life as well as work life. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269606 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:31:36 +0000 aprk 269606@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would agree to just state that you are pregnant, and acknowledge that it's exciting. Don't get too caught up in the details yet. They will need time to process, and you wont want to say anything that you might regret later in.</p> <p>I told my boss earlier this week and we didn't get in to any future plans. There's time for that.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269604 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:29:02 +0000 ladyfingers 269604@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I told my boss, "I'm pregnant." Short and sweet. I knew I didn't have anything to worry about but I read some great advice beforehand that stated to not be apologetic about it or act as if it's a burden. State it confidently, and let the boss take the lead on the remainder of details. My boss asked me, half jokingly, "You are coming back, right?" And I said yes, because I am. We only started talking about leave a couple of weeks ago and haven't finalized anything.</p> <p>I would suggest finding out from HR what your leave policies are. I wouldn't necessarily back yourself into a "short leave" corner right now, because you don't know what is in store (complications, etc.). If your company has a standard leave policy, it's your right to take that. (Unless you don't want to, of course.)</p> <p>I also read to time the announcement with the completion of a project or milestone, as if to send a message that your productivity won't be affected -- if you're concerned. You might also want to come in prepared with a plan for getting your work done while on leave -- people who might be able to manage your projects, ways that can be manageable for them, willingness to train, etc. In case it comes up.</p> <p>Good luck! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269603 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:28:04 +0000 Foodnerd81 269603@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Adira: I don't think I would get into the option of coming back part time right off the bat, but then again, I haven't done this yet!. I don't think they CAN ask you if you are coming back, actually, and you should never tell them if you aren't planning to so you can get your mat leave money-- you put in the time to earn it anyway. I would just leave it a little vague, like, yes, I'm planning to come back. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269592 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:22:37 +0000 Mrsbells 269592@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I didnt tell my manager till 18 weeks! I just said to him I need another day off coming on soon and he said "again?" And I said yep I will be needing to take time off regularly for my doctor appointments because I have a baby on the way, and his eye bulged out lol, but then he was very cool and supportive </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269590 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:21:50 +0000 purrpletulips 269590@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The first time-we were in a meeting discussing upcoming projects and my possible assignment to manage one that was expected to start right about my EDD. I just told them that it may not be the best idea, why and that while I was planning to come back my length of leave would depend upon how the birth went. </p> <p>The second time-I sent them the video we made of DD in a big sister t-shirt and then when they came to congratulate me I assured them I would be returning and that I planned on taking the same length of leave as last time. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269584 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:15:48 +0000 Adira 269584@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I definitely want to hear what other people have to say about this too as I haven't told my boss yet either!</p> <p>I'm thinking I'll probably say how I'm pregnant and when I'm due, and I'm hoping my boss will ask questions about my plans so I can explain them, but if he doesn't, I'll have to say something like "I do plan to take the 12 week maternity leave and I'd love to come back part-time or full-time after my leave is up. I'd love to work Tuesday through Thursday on a part-time schedule, but I'd also love to come back to this program and if I had to work full time to do that, I'm open to that possibility." </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-say-to-your-boss#post-269574 Fri, 24 Aug 2012 10:01:43 +0000 Mrs. Blue 269574@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I'm thinking of telling my boss today, but I'm trying to decide how to word it. I haven't new here long, so I want to male sure I explain that I definitey want to come back afterwards, I'm committed to the job, will take a short leave, etc.</p> <p>What should I say? Or, how did you tell your boss? </p>