https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Thu, 23 Apr 2026 01:05:17 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew/page/2#post-2905416 Wed, 11 Dec 2019 14:29:08 +0000 Sams Mom 2905416@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: 😂 it's so ridiculous that that is the one thing that sticks with me almost 4 years later. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew/page/2#post-2905411 Wed, 11 Dec 2019 14:18:08 +0000 Ajsmommy 2905411@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Sams Mom: oh yes!! totally forgot that i "didn't"know about the sprinkler instead of the one steady stream </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew/page/2#post-2905408 Wed, 11 Dec 2019 14:00:29 +0000 Mommy Finger 2905408@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Sometime epidurals don't work!!!! :sad: :crying: :crying: :sad: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew/page/2#post-2905332 Wed, 11 Dec 2019 00:15:21 +0000 Sams Mom 2905332@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>-Milk does not come out in a stream/jet, it comes out like a damn sprinkler. Warn everyone I know having babies because it shocked the shit out of me. </p> <p>-you can refuse to cup feed even if you want to breastfeed. Don't let the nipple Nazi nurses bully you into that, same with pacifiers. I have a friend that is a NICU nurse and her supervisor has been doing this for 25 years and she's never seen confusion. </p> <p>- C sections aren't the end of the world, it doesn't take away from the fact that you grew a baby or make you less of a mom. People can go suck a flat rock if they have anything negative to say about it. </p> <p>-toradol or however it's spelled is some amazing shit to get in your IV. They gave it to me when my spinal was wearing off and they were ramping up the pitocin to induce uterine contractions... Didn't feel any of it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905318 Tue, 10 Dec 2019 22:49:12 +0000 wrkbrk 2905318@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bees_knees: That babies can be covered in hair at birth. Somehow with allllll my reading, I never stumbled upon that one. And naturally, my son looked like a baby chimp for like 2 days. I was stunned. Lol. Then it all fell out! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905205 Tue, 10 Dec 2019 10:26:10 +0000 foodiebee 2905205@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Yeeep. Totally vomitted for a while during labor. So not fun.</p> <p>@KT326: YES. GTFO. I had like six people just camp out in my room 4 hours post delivery. For HOURS. I was so freaking tired after being up all night laboring. They were straight back at breakfast the next day and didn't leave! Just sat on the couch and played on their phones and chatted! I was so deliriously tired and just couldn't get my mind together enough to tell them to leave. I wish my DH and I had game planned this beforehand.</p> <p>@codeitall: Kind of related to the post-birth cramps, but the post-birth uterus massage to get it to contract back down. Whew. I knew about those, but I didn't know just how uncomfortably painful they'd be!</p> <p>@winter_wonder: Same. I have felt really incompetent at times, and all my parent friends' kids are older, so they can't really remember how they felt at this stage other than "aw my baby was so cute!" The trauma of sleepless nights has faded for them enough that they can't really commiserate with me.</p> <p>I wish someone had taken DS to the nursery for a few hours those first two nights while we were in the hospital. I was in pain, uncomfortable, had side-effects from the epidural, and totally not myself, so even when DS slept, I didn't. I would've stood a better chance if he'd been away from me for a bit. I think it would've made our first week home easier. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905173 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 22:35:08 +0000 lady baltimore 2905173@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: Yes, the cramping after birth! Everyone at the hospital looked at me a little side eyed when I said that all of the vaginal trauma was totally manageable (no pain meds during or after birth), but the cramps were really bothering me. When I had DH bring an electric heating pad from home (and I think they were worried about fire hazard) someone finally got me a hot water contraption that provided some relief.</p> <p>The hospital staff are not in charge of you. I was up all the first night with LO, trying to nurse, and then trying to get her to settle, lather, rinse, repeat. When I FINALLY had her down around 5am, and started to doze off myself, a custodian came in to mop my room (turning on the lights and fully waking me). When I was nearly in tears with frustration later in the day, my mom talked to the nurses, and they put a sign on my door indicating that no one was allowed in my room without checking with my assigned nurse first. Should I ever have another child, I am asking for that sign first thing.</p> <p>I also fully intended on cosleeping when we got home (and did from day one), so I wish I had just coslept at the hospital, and let the nurses scold me if the wanted to, rather than fussing unsuccessfully with the bassinet. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905167 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 21:56:17 +0000 winter_wonder 2905167@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: OMG, I was not prepared for how much I would throw up during labor.</p> <p>I wish someone would have told me how completely incompetent I would feel😂 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905159 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 20:13:16 +0000 pachamama 2905159@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I knew it was normal to not love or bond with my baby immediately 😣 I guess I heard that but never thought it would happen to me. It did. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905158 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 20:12:37 +0000 MrsADS 2905158@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall I was moaning in pain with those after birth contractions. During nursing, it felt like the height of labor. It was AWFULLLL. Bad with #1 and way worse with 2. And lasted for days and days </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905142 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 18:13:19 +0000 MoonMoon 2905142@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>When I first got pregnant, a friend gave me a heads up that those early ultrasound are transvaginal! I really appreciated the heads up. And now I tell my friends, none of whom expected that, haha.</p> <p>Also, it was really silly to get my hair blown out before going to the hospital... 2 days of labor later... hot mess!</p> <p>And related to the vaginal discharge topic, I didn't know about the "brick dust" that comes in the first couple of days. I thought my son was peeing blood :shocked: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905135 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:50:23 +0000 karenbme 2905135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Cereal: This is exactly where I am right now with respect to going back to work... I have 6 weeks left of mat leave with my first and we’re sending her to a fabulous daycare, but I’m just dreading not being there for her. Even though it makes no economic sense for me to stay home we could probably make it work, but DH keeps reminding me that I love my job, too. It just feels like I have to pick between my daughter and my job. 🙁🙁 </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905134 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:49:27 +0000 KNS 2905134@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I had known that 6-12 weeks after giving birth can be a really isolating time. Usually partners have gone back to work, the newness has worn off for other visitors but you still haven't figured out how to nurse/nap/get out with a newborn yet. </p> <p>I now try to always check in and see new moms in this time and commiserate about how hard things are. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905132 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 16:33:25 +0000 Mrs. Cereal 2905132@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I had known that the emotional crash was going to be so epic. I thought everyone was just trying to scare new moms, but three days after I had my first, I lost my mind and could not be consoled. It was scary and frustrating and incredibly isolating. </p> <p>I also wish that there was more talk about what it is like going back to work. I felt insane and was considering anything to not have to leave my daughter to go back to work. It was an awful few weeks of anticipation and sadness. In hindsight, my anxiety was completely out of control and with the right medication, I would have been a whole lot better. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905125 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 15:22:18 +0000 crazydoglady 2905125@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@codeitall: YES! They were so much worse with #2 and my sister said they were nearly unbearable with #5. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905113 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 13:24:26 +0000 codeitall 2905113@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>The post-birth cramps as your uterus gets down to normal size. Apparently it gets worse with each pregnancy, and unlike labor, there is no hope of good drugs! Just ibuprofen :shocked: </p> <p>Also, with my second, I kept waiting for the same 5-1-1 before heading to the hospital, but I spent hours in the 7 min intervals. I was at 8cm by the time I gave up and went to the hospital anyway. Later my doctor told me that second deliveries have a 7-1-1 rule... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905111 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 13:13:07 +0000 graceandjoy 2905111@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Ajsmommy: Oh yeah the SHAKES! I had it bad with DD2 and I was alone too and was like what the heck am I dying?! lol</p> <p>@Becky: I didn't know the hair loss can just continue... Forever. My hair loss had been pretty bad after DD2 till I got pregnant again!</p> <p>@josina: Amen to supplementing! I was so hard on myself and so stressed out with K1 about that, cried over having to decide every, single, time, whether or not to supplement. With K2 I basically topped her off all the time till she refused it! </p> <p>@BUNBUN: Uh yes totally this. I felt so "bullied" by the LC(s) the first time like I just had to do whatever they were telling me cause I didn't know better. It worked out so much better the 2nd time; DD2 was in NICU so I only pumped at the hospital and we nursed just fine after at home! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905107 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 12:55:11 +0000 Mrsbells 2905107@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@bees_knees: for me the main thing that surprised me was just how much information is out there, all the different choices and the level of judgement regardless of which choice you go with. I don't try to warn other moms because sometimes they feel like experienced mom's are trying to scare them. I have seen posts like that on social media alot. The best intentioned advice can be totally off-putting to some new moms who think they won't run into those issues until they do </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905101 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 12:36:21 +0000 periwinklebee 2905101@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@KT326: yeah, or at least one of the ped's in the office, who was the one we managed to have a couple of appointments with because ours was always booked... (I can see why this ped was available....) First thing I'm doing with the next baby is calling an IBCLC to come check it.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905097 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 12:22:12 +0000 KT326 2905097@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@periwinklebee: omg, your ped claimed tongue ties don’t exist?! That was the first thing my ped checked for in the hospital! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905096 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 12:16:18 +0000 periwinklebee 2905096@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: The absolute worst! And of course MIL walked in w/o knocking just as a large group of nurses was having an entire discussion about how all the "damage" down there was making it really hard to place 🤷‍♀️ </p> <p>@LemonJack: We had the same problem, made the first ten weeks of breastfeeding hell until we fixed it. The ped claimed tongue ties do not exist, complete bs... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905080 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 11:44:51 +0000 erinbaderin 2905080@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I had known that everything is a phase. It was so much easier with my second to deal with the sleep regressions, etc, knowing that it wasn't that my baby was broken, it was something they'd grow out of. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905078 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 11:39:20 +0000 crazydoglady 2905078@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>So many things, but one that sticks out is that you might not want to hold your baby right after they are born. I didn't. Both times. I thought it must have been a fluke with the first since I had just finished a 32 hour labor and was delirious, but, nope. It happened a second time, although I was delirious from the Stadol that time (but had no pain meds.) I honestly don't want to be holding my baby while I am delivering the "largest placenta" the OB has ever seen or getting two spoolfuls of stitches that I can feel. The nurses were looking at me like "Ummm...ok...I guess she doesn't want to hold her baby?" I already know my baby but can I just have a minute after delivering a nearly 10 lb baby? Both times, I feel in love in the mom and baby room. Just us. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905074 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 11:19:49 +0000 Corduroy 2905074@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wish I knew labor could last so long. I went into labor on a Wednesday night. My doula told me Thurs morning she had plans Friday night. I thought, "Um, ok. Why is she telling me this?". DD was born (very) early Saturday. </p> <p>That traumatic births were a thing. Amazing in hindsight that I had heard of orgasmic births but not traumatic births. I struggled with my emotions because I had the vaginal unmedicated birth with a healthy baby - everything I wanted. I felt obligated to feel thankful and happy (maybe ecstatic) but I wasn't.</p> <p>Don't settle for being told 'you are fine' or 'should be fine' if you're not. Escalate if you're in pain. I had so much pain associated with my inverted nipple but I kept trucking on because 'it should be fine.' Bless the LC finally really saw my pain (she was not the first LC I saw).</p> <p>And darn near every baby related thing can be acquired for free through a buy nothing or mom's group. I wish I knew how eager people were to give away baby stuff. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905069 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 10:36:16 +0000 BUNBUN 2905069@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Speak up and talk to lactation consultant(s) until you find something that works for you - BF is not supposed to be comfortable, but it's not supposed to hurt either. I suspected his latch shouldn't hurt so much (at birth), and the nurse stuck her finger in his mouth and said "Oh, honey! I'm going to get you a shield right away!" Life saving!</p> <p>I was told to request stool softeners and advil immediately and for the nurse to write my last dose on the white board so that I didn't miss a dose.</p> <p>My friend told me flat out "nipple confusion is bullshit, don't worry about giving your newborn a bottle or pacifier" and I thank her all the time for that. She also said having a lac consultant come to her house and show her how to nurse on HER couch and in HER bed was the best money she ever spent.</p> <p>I wish I had a script ready for how to tell people to GTFO of my house when I want to sleep, and no, they can't just hang out while I nap!<br /> Anyone have a good go-to for "Thanks for stopping by and bringing me food and presents for the baby, but I want to nurse now and I don't care that you're not uncomfortable, you have to leave?"</p> <p>Thank you for the heads-up on the discharge and "periods" with girls -I had no idea!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905067 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 10:30:32 +0000 KT326 2905067@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>That it’s ok to tell people to GTFO. When I had my first, I got moved to a room about two hours after I delivered. At one point I had almost 10 people in my room visiting! I was exhausted from being up all night, it was dinner time and I was starving. </p> <p>With my second, I had no visitors at all and it was amazing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905064 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 10:24:27 +0000 KT326 2905064@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LCTBQE: omg that is terrible. I had an epidural and they put a catheter in right away. With my first it ended up staying in for 24 hours because I was so incredibly swollen after pushing for 3 hours. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905057 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 10:09:27 +0000 graceandjoy 2905057@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh yeah, the little periods that they get! I had 2 girls and they both had a little bit of bleeding. I don't think anyone told me with my first; or it was one of those things I "knew" but totally forgot! </p> <p>I think specifically for me, probably that my nipples were flat/inverted which made nursing SO hard with my first. I thought everyone's nipples were created more or less equally :silly: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905056 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 10:08:58 +0000 jennlin821 2905056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Buy nursing tanks before you have the baby and when you are 7 mo pregnant, buy nursing bras for the post-engorgement phase. </p> <p>Bring swaddles to the hospital. you cannot swaddle the baby as well as the nurses with the blanket. Save yourself the stress and bring a swaddle (SwaddleMe now sells them that zip on the bottom! </p> <p>Pacifiers WILL NOT give nipple confusion. Bring some to the hospital and buy different kinds (my DD wouldn't take the hospital kinds, but would take regular ones) </p> <p>DEMAND MORE DRUGS.... I tweaked my knee (pulling on my legs while pushing) and that pain was worse than anything as I was trying to sleep that first night. They gave me hot packs, but waited about 6 hours before telling me I could have more pain meds.....uh, its 4am and my knew is in excruciating pain and I was in labor for 48 hours....GIMME THE DAMN DRUGS SO I CAN SLEEP! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-did-you-wish-you-knew#post-2905054 Mon, 09 Dec 2019 09:58:15 +0000 LCTBQE 2905054@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Becky: Mount Sinai in NYC, not recommended :) I tried SO hard to pee and they kept being like, "just run the faucet while you're trying to go, it's all in your head." jerks. </p>