https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Mon, 06 Apr 2026 10:45:57 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809559 Tue, 13 Mar 2018 13:45:50 +0000 FaithFertility 2809559@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@LBee: Thank You, It is what I needed to hear! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809518 Tue, 13 Mar 2018 12:02:25 +0000 LBee 2809518@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't think you should feel guilty. She has explicitly said she will reach out to you when she is ready (as has her husband). I went through a rough period last year and I told friends repeatedly that I wasn't up for visitors - it was too emotional for me and I couldn't handle it. I would have been really frustrated had a friend (especially a best friend) completely ignored that. I know this is hard to hear, but by doing so you are putting your feelings above her feelings. I would feel guilty if you weren't doing what she said she needed. Do what you can from afar (it sounds like you've done lots of great things) then just give her space and let her grieve.</p> <p>FWIW, I do know a bunch of my best friends reached out to DH still (he was less of a mess :silly: ) and checked on me / asked how to help. We also had some people say things to DH like, "our kid is dying to see DS, mind if we pick him up and take the kids to the park by your house for awhile?" They then picked up DS and dropped off dinner. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809491 Tue, 13 Mar 2018 10:42:09 +0000 FaithFertility 2809491@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Why do I feel so guilty? I'm going to lunch with co workers today and just feel awful that I haven't talked to her!</p> <p>I pray she is ok!! They have gone through so much in life already!! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809372 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 19:03:42 +0000 2littlepumpkins 2809372@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I haven't had a MC but when things go wrong I usually don't want to be around too many people at first. I like the idea of dropping something off. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809326 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:50:44 +0000 youboots 2809326@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>This happened to a close friend. I just showed up with a dozen doughnuts a few days later with the intention to just drop them. But we had a short visit and I got her meds and water and picked up a few things. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809319 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:26:53 +0000 FaithFertility 2809319@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Thank You all it is my heart that wants to hug her, and I need to be respectful!</p> <p>I just made a bag of things for girls and a gift card and a card, bringing it to sitters now, hopefully there LO is still there!</p> <p>If not I'll drop it off at thier guatd gate </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809316 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:15:54 +0000 babypugs 2809316@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>You are a good friend. It sounds like she needs alone time to process; she might feel obligated to put on a happy face if you showed up and that's a lot of pressure. I love the idea of dropping something sweet on her porch then letting her husband know. She'll reach out to you when she's ready. :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809315 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:13:46 +0000 Mrs D 2809315@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@FaithFertility: I am one of those people who always responds with "no no, we're all set"...even though help or something would be appreciated.</p> <p>Like the gift card there are other things you can do and just text and say...I dropping something by...it'll be on the porch at 4pm or whatever....that way she knows you will be in her driveway at 4pm...she has until 3:55pm to decide what to do.</p> <p>Of course you have to respect and understand completely if she doesnt want to interact. Sometimes people need it not posed in a question, because they will always politely decline... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809314 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:13:21 +0000 snowjewelz 2809314@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I think sending the care package is a great idea; shows that you really care without intruding physically. I think you've been a great friend to let the know you're there for them; I'm sure she'll reach out when she's ready. It's so hard :crying: :heart: </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809312 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:11:41 +0000 Veggiemama 2809312@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: @FaithFertility: Yes! The day after my MC a friend texted me "dinner's on your porch," she included soup, bread, salad, homemade snacks and some activity packets for my kids. It was so thoughtful and literally nourished me and my family during a really dark time. I wasn't in a place to be able to visit but it was just perfect what she did. I still get choked up when I think about how meaningful it was to me!</p> <p>I am really sorry for your friend, it is so awful. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809311 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:05:16 +0000 FaithFertility 2809311@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Champagne: Thanks that is my thought too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809310 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:04:50 +0000 FaithFertility 2809310@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@raspberries: Thank You, I needed that, as I said above I'm making her a care package, just little things to show I care or flowers are a good idea too! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809308 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:04:19 +0000 Mrs. Champagne 2809308@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If someone showed up right after my MCs I would have hated it, tbh!</p> <p>I think you're being a great friend and offering things! Drop of snacks or a meal on the door step and text that it's there. Or things to keep the older kids busy. Sorry she's going through this, sounds so terrible. I'm sure when she is ready she will reach out.</p> <p>ETA: my friends and I dropped of a gift card for meal delivery and a fave dessert to our friend after her MC. We just sent a text "check your door step when you're up for it". </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809307 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:02:58 +0000 raspberries 2809307@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Oh gosh, please don't just go over out of the blue - she and her husband have both said she's not up for talking yet and she'll be in touch soon. Everyone deals with loss in their own way - she might just need a little bit of time to herself to process things and grieve with her family.</p> <p>It seems like you've reached out repeatedly, so she knows you'll be there when she's ready to talk - she just has to get there on her own terms. If you want, you could send flowers or fruit or something, but I really think you just need to wait until she's ready. I totally have sympathy for you - it can be so hard to watch people you love suffering. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809306 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:02:37 +0000 FaithFertility 2809306@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@gingerbebe: agree, I also am battling a cold so.... </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809305 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:02:11 +0000 FaithFertility 2809305@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@tinyperson: I agree, I just feel horrible! I'm making a package for her and giving it to our sister that watches both our kiddos so she can give it to her DH! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809304 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 15:00:09 +0000 tinyperson 2809304@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I wouldn't just go over...you've texted, called, and let them know you're there. She said she'd call soon. If it were me, I might want some space. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809302 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 14:59:58 +0000 gingerbebe 2809302@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I would give her a week. And then probably show up. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-10#post-2809300 Mon, 12 Mar 2018 14:52:43 +0000 FaithFertility 2809300@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>My best friend had an etopic and her tube removed Wed.</p> <p>I've talked to her over the phone and to her DH who said she was still in pain and not up for talking, I've reached out to him for dinners/kid care and such and to her!</p> <p>She texted me yesterday saying she would call soon!</p> <p>I'm hearbroken for her and just feel awful, I feel she needs time, but I also want her to know she is not alone!</p> <p>Should I just go over?! </p> <p> I feel like I should?! </p>