https://boards.hellobee.com/ Pregnancy, Baby and Parenting blog, by Hellobee en Fri, 23 Oct 2026 02:41:52 +0000 https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1131052 Fri, 04 Oct 2013 06:03:02 +0000 looch 1131052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I don't know if you can really avoid it though, I mean, they control so little if you think about it and the one thing they do control is what goes in their mouths. So for me, it was important to acknowledge what was happening (mentally) and then come up with strategies to deal with it. </p> <p>IME, it wasn't something I did or didn't do that caused this situation. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1130428 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 20:32:38 +0000 hilsy85 1130428@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: good to know! @sarac: eek that must make it hard. But I agree it's totally one area where they can have the upper hand (if its given to them)@wheres_c: true! I do find that if Lo eats not so well he will at least nurse more. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1130230 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 19:43:29 +0000 wheres_c 1130230@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I offer and ignore with my 10mo. Most of the time he eats well, but if he doesn't eat what I'm offering then I just try a final time and then end the meal.<br /> Usually he makes up for it at the next meal! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1130135 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 19:16:09 +0000 sarac 1130135@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I am all about the offer and then ignore thing, but my 2 year old will wake up and cry for food in the middle of the night, which complicates things. But I think that opting out of the power struggle there is utterly crucial. Toddlers have so little power, eating is such an easy way for them to claim some. No wonder they'll make it into a struggle if you let them. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1129684 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 16:40:00 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1129684@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: Until I see a child is dropping off a growth curve, I'm not worried about them "starving" themself. Usually the kids who will restrict to the point of weight loss are kids that have been in previous power struggles about food. As soon as a child knows that you are highly vested in their eating, they will use it as a way to control. So we offer and then ignore. If we do have to feed a before bed snack because they've forgone dinner, we make it super low-key and an exception rather than the rule. "Ok, here's your cheese sticks. Now we're going to have to brush teeth again." And that's it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1129657 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 16:29:28 +0000 hilsy85 1129657@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@Mrs. Jacks: so if they don't eat, you figure they're just not hungry? I mean, kids won't starve themselves right?? I really really want to avoid the whole power struggle thing! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1129645 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 16:23:36 +0000 Mrs. Jacks 1129645@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I offer and then ignore. I don't want to do any negative reinforcement of food behaviors. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1129573 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 15:49:58 +0000 immabeetoo 1129573@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I guess for us we are trying to implement stuff like this (and positive discipline) as best we can now so we are in the habit. Might not affect him yet but I don't think it can get ya know? That's just us though! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1129376 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 14:43:59 +0000 kiddosc 1129376@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I offer E what I'm going to offer him for dinner and that's it. His big thing is to take two bites then ask for a cracker, so I've had to stop giving him a piece of graham cracker as a "treat." He usually pitches a bit of a fit and I will take him out of his chair and calm him down, then try again. If that doesn't work, dinner time is over. Because he doesn't understand that not eating dinner means he will be hungry later, we offer a snack before bed like @Mrs. Jump Rope. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1129246 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 14:08:11 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1129246@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: we don't force her to eat. If she says no to my options, we give it a rest then offer her a filling snack before bedtime. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128987 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 13:08:49 +0000 hilsy85 1128987@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: thanks for sharing! I feel like this is a common battleground for parents. @scg00387: thanks I will check out that book! I really agree with that sentiment--just not sure at what age it can be implemented, you know?</p> <p>@Weagle: good call on more snacks...we aren't really doing consistent snacks yet (will start once I start partially weaning at 1). </p> <p>@Mrs. Jump Rope: so if she says no to all those options, what do you do? When could she start telling you if she did/didn't want something? I LOVE the idea of cooking with LO and I am excited to do it once he's old enough to hold a spoon and stand on a chair :) </p> <p>@LuLu Mom: poor E! I hope her tummy is better soon :( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128754 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 12:17:22 +0000 LuLu Mom 1128754@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>We are going through this too!!! She has diarrhea and all she wants is fruit, well that's obviously a bad choice for her stomach. I've been giving her whatever she will eat within reason (nothing spicy/acidic) but I feel like she's living on pasta and applesauce. ;( </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128747 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 12:15:40 +0000 Mrs. Jump Rope 1128747@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If Chloe refuses dinner, I don't force her to eat. I'll offer her other options that are quick for me to make, and she's pretty good about telling me yes or no. </p> <p>I don't like her to go to bed with an empty stomach, either! She's more inclined to eat if we let her be a part of the cooking process or letting her help choose a meal/snack. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128676 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 11:55:52 +0000 Weagle 1128676@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>I just call it the end of that meal and trust that she will eat when hungry. I'll try to offer more (and healthier) snacks that she can eat while playing or in the car. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128527 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 11:08:18 +0000 MusicaV 1128527@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO is 12 months and we have only had a few instances of food refusal. It usually helps if he sees me eat it too. For instance, he turned away when I tried to give him raw green beans until I ate some. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128185 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 09:44:48 +0000 immabeetoo 1128185@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I've watched one of my family members go down this path- she was thin so her mom catered to her whims she was scared to have her not eat. At age 8 she now appears to subsist mostly off Nutella and bread. I agree that you can't force a kid to eat without causing power struggles but am trying not to go down that path.</p> <p>As you know my LO is younger than yours so I can only tell you what I do/plan to do which is to, like you said, have at least one thing I know he will eat at each meal and not worry if that's all he eats and to keep offering variety. I found the book Fearless Feeding really helpful. There was a refrain about " Simply, the parent is in charge of what will be served for the meal (the menu), and the child decides whether he will eat and how much, from what is offered. "</p> <p>I think it's even less of an issue when you're still nursing and e could nurse more or ask to nurse again if genuinely hungry. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128121 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 09:25:23 +0000 looch 1128121@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: at 18 months, he started refusing things he had eaten with gusto! I used to make him either scrambled eggs with shredded veggies and cheese or oatmeal with fruit, and he would scarf it down. Then, it just stopped and he only ate oatmeal reliably until he quit that as well, around 2 years of age.</p> <p>My ped and I got into a bit of an argument about this, because she said that I created the problem because I catered to his pickiness, but I am not comfortable with letting him go to bed without at least eating something! So, I sought out the help of a nutritionist and we are slowly working to introduce new foods. It has been a process, that's for sure! </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128106 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 09:19:58 +0000 hilsy85 1128106@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@looch: so around 18 months, you resorted to the scrambled eggs and veggies because he stopped eating anything else? Or he stopped eating anything, even that?</p> <p>So I'm not saying I want my kid to starve, but at what point do you say, "Ok I guess you're not eating because you're not hungry?" How do you know when to give in and get whatever food they WILL eat? *not necessarily directed at you, just something I'm wondering!* </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128091 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 09:12:29 +0000 looch 1128091@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: From months 6-18, I offered a lot of variety in the foods I served. The list of things that weren't eaten was so short, like literally just a few things. I thought I had avoided the toddler pickiness completely. Then one week, at around 118 months, I threw out scrambled eggs and shredded veggies every single morning. </p> <p>As for amount of food, I always provided the same portions and let him decide how much to eat. My son mastered the spoon from very early on, so there was no feeding him past 1 year. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128070 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 09:06:46 +0000 hilsy85 1128070@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: gotcha, that's been my method so far too, lol </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128056 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 09:04:32 +0000 mrs. wagon 1128056@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@hilsy85: I offered other stuff and kept the stuff I knew he'd eat on hand. If he didn't eat much at all, I'd bring out some of the stuff I knew he'd eat. But not a whole lot, and if he started scarfing I'd try and sneak in some other things while he was eating. But usually he just kinda picked at it. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128052 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 09:02:59 +0000 hilsy85 1128052@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>@mrs. wagon: so if you offered other stuff, and he refused it, did you then just give him yogurt, cheese, pasta? Or did you assume he wasn't really that hungry? </p> <p>@looch: do you mean introducing lots of new foods? or always putting a lot of foods on his plate? I know pickiness to some extent is very normal and a phase, which is fine, I'm just not sure how to handle it!</p> <p>I'm not really worried about weight/hydration, since he's still nursing, and he is eating SOME things, and it's only been a few days. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128032 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 08:58:59 +0000 looch 1128032@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>If it is sickness, I don't worry about it, I just make sure they're hydrated.</p> <p>If it is pickiness, there are a ton of strategies out there, you kind of have to pick a method and stick with it. Personally, I wanted to avoid toddler pickiness so I introduced a lot of food and it went well until about 18 months. So you never know. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1128014 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 08:54:53 +0000 mrs. wagon 1128014@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>Ugh. We are just exiting the picky toddler phase and it was the worst when he got sick. Often all he would eat was yogurt and cheese, and maybe plain pasta. There was one week where all he ate was yogurt! I was just thankful that it was something nourishing, and I got the kind with veggie puree mixed in.</p> <p>Usually it's just a phase (especially after they're sick) and eventually they start eating again. I just stuck with the bland foods and tried reintroducing things slowly. He will start eating again..! If you're worried about him eating enough you could always give him those pediasure shakes. But usually after a few days they will start eating again. </p> https://boards.hellobee.com/topic/what-do-you-do-about-food-refusal#post-1127931 Thu, 03 Oct 2013 08:35:10 +0000 hilsy85 1127931@https://boards.hellobee.com/ <p>LO (11.5 months) is generally a great eater. However, he was sick last weekend, and since then, his appetite is greatly decreased. He is refusing a lot of his normal faves. When that happens, I'm not sure if I should take it as a sign that he's not that hungry, or keep trying with different foods until I find something that he will eat. I do try to always give him at least one thing that he will definitely eat after trying to get him to eat other stuff (usually fruit or avocado). How do you handle this? I don't want to start down the path of becoming a "short order cook" for him, but I also have the typical mama worry that he's not eating enough! </p> <p>(And I know his appetite could pick back up once he fully feels back to himself, so I guess I"m wondering how to address this in the future as well during picky phases) </p>